Buy Josh By Golly

July 16, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 417 Comments

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”822611″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2015″ duration=”153″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-07-09″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/822611_t_1625807263.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/822611.mp4″]

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

So, this Buy/Sell is unlike other Buy/Sells — “Ma nish tah na Buy/Sell,” as Rowdy Tellez would say — this is different because this isn’t a waiver wire smorgasbord for the smorgas-bored. This isn’t guys to grab off waivers who are rostered in under 50% of leagues. Since there’s been very few games since my last Buy/Sell, that column still applies for most guys. A few under-50% rostered guys will show up here, but this is mostly for trading. Or as Michael Milken would call it, “Ripping off the other guy and/or girl.” Let’s start Milken’ing some stunods! (That sounds like someone who was hired to work for Jordan Belfort, but was like 40 years older than everyone else and struggled to fit in.) “Hey, Jordan, we’re Milken’ing them stunods now!” Ha, I’m snorting to myself. Any hoo! Josh Donaldson. Damn, I don’t even like this guy, but his Statcast numbers are about as sweet as you can find. He’s top 2% in the league for Exit Velocity; top 4% for barrels; top 10% for xWOBA and BB% and top 8% for xSLG and HardHit%. There’s no telling when a guy can get scorching hot, but by going off those numbers alone, Donaldson could be a 2nd half MVP. He is a clearcut guy who should be better. It’s time to Milken them like no udder! I am very juvenile. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 100 for 2nd Half of 2021 Fantasy Baseball

July 12, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 505 Comments

by: Grey

Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to PBMs and decided if you can’t beat them, join them! Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post. Here, enjoy some coffee. Oops, you just drank rat poison. I should’ve used different mugs. Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than rostering Cody Bellinger in the 1st half. Oh, you rostered him, and that’s why you drank the poison. Now, I’m following! Hey, I’m supposed to be leading! Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2021 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up! But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest! So, as with all of the other 2021 fantasy baseball rankings, slop this up with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Fernando Tatis Jr. number one, and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with FTJ after we lost Tildaddy. As I say about the Giancarlo underwear I bought off eBay, why soil a good thing? This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while Juan Soto did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because, well, we have to believe in miracles — my 12-year-old self would want that, and to sleep with Cher. 12-Year-Old Grey loved Cher. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2021. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do. It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2021:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy Tellez Filling Option Now That Vogel Bock Is Off The Brew Tap

July 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 336 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”822611″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2015″ duration=”153″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-07-09″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/822611_t_1625798258.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/822611.mp4″]

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

You ever think there’s forces larger than ourselves at work? For instance, Taco Bell removes the Mexican Pizza from its menu, but then you’re sitting in traffic, eating nachos off the passenger seat. *screech* You slam on the brakes, and, suddenly, the nachos slide off and crash onto the ground. You frantically pull onto the shoulder, and, as you’re eating the nachos off the floormat, you realize the fall to the ground makes those nachos look like that badly-missed Mexican Pizza. Life gives you what you need. A baseball example: The White Sox were supposed to be good this year, then they lose everyone from their lineup. One tragedy after another, and Tony La Russa, drunk, just filled in the lineup like, “I’m not going to drive my Mercedes…But I could go for a Burger,” suddenly standing and grabbing his ass, “First I need to take a Sheets.” Yet, they’d still win! Another circumstance that has managed to sort itself out is Rowdy Tellez. He was supposed to be great, but the Jays added player after player this past offseason, and Rowdy was squeezed, which had his Jewish mother say, “Why don’t you get married?” Then, he was traded and now The He’Brewer should get playing time again, and it’s a great park in Milwaukee. There’s a chance Rowdy could be again what we hoped he would be. “A doctor?” No, Rowdy’s Jewish mother. A top 10 1st baseman, if the Brewers, ya know, play him. Why exactly did they trade for him and are not starting him? Oh, that’s right, the Brewers are stupid. Well, if they smarten up, I like Tellez a lot. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Gilbert Got Freed By M’s To Roast The Yankees

July 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 206 Comments

by: Grey

Sometimes, on almost-every-occasion, a rookie pitcher isn’t great when he is first promoted. Then, almost by the magic of the silent one from Penn & Teller, the rookie pitcher gets better. It’s called, bear with me here, not shizzing a brick like during your first start. Also, a pitcher may shizz a brick from the moment he’s called up for a few years. Or just not be dialed in. Or just be off. There’s a reason why scouts and their ilk liked — ilk liked? What’s this, Dr Seuss? — Logan Gilbert so much before he did a brown brick on the mound for a month-plus. At any point a rookie pitcher can figure it out, and, yesterday might’ve been that day. Gilbert went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.51, ending his start by retiring 18-straight Yankees. That sure has the makings of an ace, even if those Yankees look like your great uncle’s Yankees, when he used to tell you things like, “Don’t count out that Roy Smalley. He makes things happen with his bat!” Gilbert’s slider was getting a 58% whiff rate, up from 32% and he was touching 99 MPH on his 4-seamer, with a higher spin rate than his yearly average. If Gilbert was abandoned early on in your league, I could see getting back in on him. Yesterday, might be the start of Logan’s run, until at least age 30. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Groundhog Day Again For Pitchers Courtesy of Walsh-Ohtani Fill

July 8, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 318 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”817892″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20Week%2014″ duration=”163″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-07-02″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/817892_t_1625192158.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/817892.mp4″]

Shohei Ohtani (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 32nd homer, passing Hideki Matsui as the top Japanese-born home run hitter in a season, and it’s not even the All-Star Break! Such a cheat code, and I’m such a giant dummy to not have him on any team. Boy, I Mr. Bungled this one so bad it’s hard for me to see through my tears of anguish. The absolute ball dropping I did by not grabbing him. Or Jared Walsh (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) who hit his 21st and 22nd homer! I wrote a gee-dee sleeper post for him! Yet, all my fantasy teams are like a milk carton with that missing Walsh kid. This is brutally difficult for me. I should’ve known better for Ohtani, and I did know better for Walsh! Someone shoot me into the sky, where I can do something for humanity by flipping off Bezos’s orbiting rocket ship, and away from the misery of watching Ohtani and Walsh carry fantasy teams to the proverbial promised land. I was promised that land! I have my deed right here…*searches pockets for deed, pull back to reveal I’m wearing pants with millions of pockets* This is my nightmare! We’re in it! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It Must Be $1 Beer Night Because Brujan The Rays Tonight

July 7, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 325 Comments

by: Grey

It’s Vidal Brujan SZN! BruSZN?! Tell me oh great Fantasy Baseball Overlord, it is not a dream I have awoken from–“Shut up and grab Vidal Brujan.” That’s the Fantasy Baseball Overlord speaking only to me. Sorry, you ain’t got the cred! The Rays’ beat writers said with Manuel Margot hitting the IL with a hamstring injury, which is truly too bad–DID SOMEONE SAY VIDAL BRUJAN?!–The beat writers also said Brujan wouldn’t just be up for a doubleheader on Wednesday. He would remain with the Rays. So, I grabbed him in one league, and tried in all my leagues, including a 12-team mixed league. Here’s my Vidal Brujan fantasy. Bit old, still applies, which is different than my least favorite fruit, that’s “still apples.” The big takeaway from my fantasy take on Brujan is what Prospect Itch said about him, “It’s rare enough for a 40-steal player to enter our game. Even rarer to find one who hits enough to earn himself regular playing time. Rarer still to find one who speaks five languages. I mention this last piece because language learning requires the same determination needed for the grind of baseball. You’re going to make mistakes. Might look like an idiot. Might often feel dumb. But you have to keep putting yourself out there. And as long as you stay positive and focus on the long term, you can improve a little bit every day. In 2014, Tampa signed Brujan out of the Dominican Republic for $15,000. He was illiterate at the time. Now: five languages. Grey can’t speak one.” Tough but fair, tee bee aitch. Go and grab him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The King Of Gamelot Swinging A Mighty Sword

July 6, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 288 Comments

by: Grey

The dreidel in Pittsburgh stopped on Gamel yesterday. Ben Gamel went 3-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th homer, and his third and fourth homer in his last five games, and there’s no way you’re ever picking up Ben Gamel. Don’t even lie. There’s nothing I could say–Actually, that would make for a good game show. “Which fantasy baseball ‘pert can convince the most people to pick up Ben Gamel?” Then you line up a bunch of balding guys in a mother’s basement, and test their power of persuasion. Can we get Ben Stein to host? Call it Win Ben’s Gamels. Any hoo! Yes, Ben Gamel is about the hottest bat in the majors, but you’re never grabbing him, so let’s do this! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This American Flag T-Shirt Says Maeda In America

July 5, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 269 Comments

by: Grey

One scene sticks with me that truly captures America’s independence. It’s Big Willy Pullman standing on the back of a flatbed truck, twirling a bra in the air and yelling, “Today is your last chance for independence.” It was a bachelorette party at a wine tasting class in Irvine, California, and Big Willy Pullman was a male stripper wearing a Bill Pullman mask. Then, due to copyright infringements, Big Willy and the vineyard were both sued with the women being called as witnesses. That courtroom saga really captures our great land. God Bless America! Seriously, though, think about this? The Brits thought they could control America? For our Independence Day, we celebrate someone shoving 75 hot dogs into his mouth. You can control this? Get the eff out of here! So, this weekend 225 years after George Washington gave birth to this great nation after 14 hours of labor, Kenta Maeda went 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 5.03. His spin rate was down in prior starts, but looked better, and his velocity was up on his 4-seamer. Previously, he was dusty at 89 MPH with a 2220 RPMs, and, yesterday, lively at 91 MPH and 2279. Lots of noise when looking at just one start, but clearly this was Maeda’s best start of the year, and there’s a chance for better days like the Goo Goo Dolls. Now, put away that M80, you’re gonna need your fingers to make fantasy moves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Only The Good Buy Jung

July 2, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 353 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Back in the preseason, we were all clamoring for Josh Jung, which resulted in us taking a Briggs-Myers personality test, originally proposed by Jung.

The test began: 1) Can you remember how you felt about Josh Jung in March? A) Excited B) Stressed C) There’s no C. D) Extrovert.

If you answered A, you know Josh Jung is set to debut this year, and even the Rangers can’t ruin this prospect. He has big-time power, and a hit tool to match. The Rangers have no one to play third, and are currently rocking Swiss Army knife Brock Holt, and some combination of Andy Ibanez and Charlie Culberson, all names that only sound made-up. If you answered B, you were thinking of Josh Jung’s foot, which was diagnosed with a stress fracture on March 20th, curtailing his chances to break camp. Luckily, Jung is back, healed, and hitting home runs in the minors again. If you answered C, you were dropped on your head as a baby. If you answered D, then you’re telling all your friends about how you grabbed Josh Jung in your fantasy leagues, and those friends are secretly talking about you behind your back. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pitchers Can’t Hang With Joey And His Gallo’s Homer

July 2, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 218 Comments

by: Grey

Kyle Schwarber sat down for a long cross-country trip with his favorite, a can of Virgin Bloody Mary mix. Seated next to him was a tall, mustachioed man. Soon after takeoff, Schwarber dozed off and when he woke, he felt groggy, but that was to be expected, right? Seated next to him, that tall, mustachioed man drank from a Virgin Bloody Mary mix, wiping the red from his bristles. Well, what Kyle Schwarber didn’t know was Joey Gallo was that tall man with a fake mustache, and, as soon as Schwarber dozed off, Joey Gallo began to transfer all of Schwarber’s home run-hitting blood into his can of Virgin Bloody Mary mix. Later, Joey drank it all up, and burped all the names of the 500 Home Run Club. So, Joey Gallo (3-for-3, 2 runs, hitting .239) hit his 20th homer, has seven homers in the last five games, and, since Rob Manfraud took away the wacky tacky, Gallo’s slashing .375/.500/1.125/1.625, but we know why, don’t we? (Prolly just so Gallo gets traded the hell off the Rangers.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Learn From Trea Turner And Re-Cycle

July 1, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 318 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”811239″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20WEEK%2013″ duration=”151″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-06-25″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/811239_t_1624599385.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/811239.mp4″]

No player in MLB history has more cycles than Trea Turner. That’s wild. What’s also wild, it was his birthday yesterday. I got a cycle for my birthday one year. It was a pink Hutch Trickstar and I was able to do one trick, falling over. They used to call me The Pink Trickstar. And beat me up. This Treat Urner game brought up a lot of hurtful memories. My mom always wanted a girl, is that why she got me that stupid pink bike? Which is what I write down in my journal, so I can ask my shrink at a later date. Not only did Treat Urner (4-for-4, 4 runs) hit his 14th homer, he also added in his 17th and 18th steal. He accumulated more fantasy value in one game than Juan Soto has all year. I wanna be run over by a pink bicycle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pirates Don’t Enjoy Their Frutti Di Marquez Plate

June 30, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 323 Comments

by: Grey

“Guten tag, mi amigos. Um, I mean, hola. I am mucho from a Spanish-language country and not at all on the run from the German authorities.” That was the Nazi in Exile as a youth, taking the very conspicuous name German Marquez. Yesterday, was a big-time “Hola, meine frau” as German Marquez took a no-hitter into the 9th inning in Coors, and ended up with 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.62 in 92 pitches, as he racked up his 11th Quality Start. My Jewish ancestors would never forgive me, but I want to help the Nazi in Exile, and in the process my better Angels. Well, not my better Angels, just the Angels. Someone disguise their voice, call up the Angels and tell them the Rockies will deal German Marquez for anything, because the Rockies are a very stupid organization. You can tell the Rockies they’re getting a guy named Ham Silliard and just read them Sam Hilliard’s Triple-A stats to them and they’ll go for it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4911 posts

Buy Josh By Golly

Top 100 for 2nd Half of 2021 Fantasy Baseball

Buy Tellez Filling Option Now That Vogel Bock Is Off The Brew Tap

Gilbert Got Freed By M’s To Roast The Yankees

Groundhog Day Again For Pitchers Courtesy of Walsh-Ohtani Fill

It Must Be $1 Beer Night Because Brujan The Rays Tonight

The King Of Gamelot Swinging A Mighty Sword

This American Flag T-Shirt Says Maeda In America

Only The Good Buy Jung

Pitchers Can’t Hang With Joey And His Gallo’s Homer

Learn From Trea Turner And Re-Cycle

Pirates Don’t Enjoy Their Frutti Di Marquez Plate