So, this is bad. Two more weeks without baseball. It’s grim to even think about the MLB Twitter account tweeting about Jackie Robinson Day with no baseball being played. That will be the point when yours truly takes the final steps to becoming The Joker. As you can see, my barista has already peaked into my soul.

Gonna be honest with you, things could become dire at Razzball if we don’t have baseball back until May 1st. Writers get paid; vendors get paid; stats are not free; semi-colons are usually fun; this isn’t fun! It would go a long way towards keeping the lights on if you were to grab a $9.99 ad-free subscription, and, incredibly, that gets rid of ads, which is awesome for you. Win-win! Or more wins than deGrom’s projected for. Allow me to demonstrate:

Amazing, right? One second there’s ads, next second, there’s not. Also, I know so much about Prince Charles, huh? So, grab a $9.99 ad-free subscription, if you have the means, no relation to John.

Also, the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, I did it. I moved Ronald Acuña Jr. up in my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball. What’s the most games he’s going to miss now, 15? That sounds like the same as Fun The Jewels with his shoulder. It’s not a jinx if you know it’s going to happen. I learned that from an eye-patched gypsy that hung out with the Peaky f***ing Blinders. I also updated my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and the top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Max Muncy – Says he’s already swinging a bat. Every time I’m out, you keep pulling me back in with your torn UCL. Now, I have no idea what I’m doing with him. For the entire preseason, I wasn’t going near him. Now, I have to admit I’m kinda intrigued to see how well he’s swinging the bat. How can we sneak in to see players practicing right now? Oh, I know! Anyone want to dress up like a bag of balls to sit by a batting cage?

“Hey, Max, wanna start working on that swing?”
“You bet!”
“Okay, grab me that bag of balls.” *bag of balls moves away from Muncy’s reach, Muncy gives chase as the bag of balls and Muncy reenact a 7th-inning sausage race*

So, for right now, I’m not moving up Max Muncy. My thoughts on this are, his elbow feels great because he’s not actually playing one 9-inning game after another 9-inning game. He might be fine for the start of the season, but give him two weeks of playing every day and see how well he’s doing.

Kwang-hyun Kim – Went back to Korea. Removed him from the top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. In unrelated news, I sent the New Kids on the Block’s Hangin’ Tough video to Seiya Suzuki’s agent. Hang tough, man! We’re gonna be playing soon!

Codi Heuer – Out for 2022 with Tommy John surgery. That came after an altercation with Karen Hill when she went to his apartment and started pressing all the buttons screaming, “In 2C, Codi is a Heuer!” With Heuer out, it gives Rowan Wick some job security, until the Cubs just sign someone and Wick loses the job. I’ve updated my top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball.

Brad Peacock – Signed a minor league deal with the Royals. Royals are in KC and the last two letters of Peacock are KC and *brain explodes* Whoa.

Mike Trout – Said he’s 100% healthy. “Mike Trout saying he’s 100% healthy” is baseball’s groundhog. In six weeks, there will be games!