by: Grey
Yesterday, Miles Mikolas faced off with Paul Skenes, but luckily they kept their faces on. This game was mano a mano. Mustachio a mustachio. A Mikolaskenes. A uniting of hair lips to create one great hair lip that Europeans want to vacation at in August. The fusion of musk. A man-made alloy, Mustachium. It was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Is it me or do you hear a 3-something ERA and you’re like, “Damn, he’s struggling!” The way pitching is now, if you’re not rocking a 2.50 ERA or lower, I want to know why and which mafia gangster is paying you to throw games for DraftKings? Ya know, we’re less than a year away […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, the Rockies called up their top prospect, Adael Amador (1-for-3, 1st steal). Listen, I’m not Mr. Prospect. This is well known around these parts. There’s enough players to worry about on MLB rosters, so I go to Itch with my prospect questions. I have a general sense of who is a top prospect. I […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The potato crops will be up soon. Should be sustenance for the next six months. We have someone down by the landing port who rattles off potato dishes like he’s Bubba from Forrest Gump. Potato casserole, crispy potatoes, Hasselback potatoes, mashed potatoes, potato pierogis…And on and on. He started in June and has been going […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ric Flair, the wheelin’ dealin’, limo-ridin’, high profilin’, rootin’ tootin’, Jerry Tarkanian’ eyebrow havin’, organic candles sellin’ at a farmer’s marketin’, IBS got me avoidin’ spicy foods-in-Indian restaurantsin’, bad-mambo-jambo, better move his Woo over because there’s a new Woo in town, that’s Bryan Woo (6 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Cade Povich was called up to the O’s taxi squad — Reiger that! — because they were unsure if Bradish could go, and it turned out he couldn’t, so enter: Cade Povich off the taxi squad like Tony Danza, sung like Elton John. Povich was in the Itch’s last top 50 prospects update, barely sneaking […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Britbox’s latest serial procedural Mountcastle stars David Tennant as Ryan Mountcastle (2-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 9th and 10th homer). A guy who returned from war and talks about being in a platoon with Ryan O’Hearn, and people keep calling him a Bird, even though that’s British slang for a lady. The Brits are saying […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Imagine, if you will, a Vegas-style buffet but instead of King Crab Legs and Filet Mignon there’s top prospects as far as the eye can see. As you walk along, you pick up a Coby Mayo here, a Jackson Holliday there, a Gunnar Henderson here, a Adley Rutschman there, a Jordan Westburg here, a Colton […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?In the least shocking thing if you were paying attention to anything to do with Spencer Torkelson, he was optioned to Triple-A. He had the 2nd lowest OPS in history for 1st basemen (.683), minimum 1200 PA. Yeah, things weren’t going great! Sad for the Comatose Tigers fan from 2020 who just woke, “Tork The […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Singing Dan Hill’s Sometimes When We Touch, “You ask me if I love you, and I choke on my reply, and I rather hurt you honestly, then mislead you with a lie, and who am I to think you can hit like Aaron Judge!” Sobbing as I touch the TV screen where Davis Schneider stands, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
To succeed in chaos, one must embrace chaos. The chaos of the universe, the chaos of the atom. It’s all chaotic. None of it as chaotic as the Mets, however. In the Metiverse, they take their worst hitter and make him their leadoff hitter. They take the best closer and make him bad. They pretend […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Pirates’ doubleheader didn’t start well with Jared Jones going 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.69. Hey, Regression Fairies, I hate you. The first game was all Tarik Skubal (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.01). Why can’t every one-time top prospect pitcher, who hasn’t broken out, break out like […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?