Yanks Finally Waving That Sweet Jasson Our Face

Even, and this is 100% true, Alex Verdugo rostered Jasson Dominguez (1-for-4, 1 run, 1 steal) in his fantasy league. Even Verdugo’s mom was like, “Boy, I love you, but I have a H2H league I’m trying to win.” It seemed like up until yesterday, Jasson Dominguez was rostered everywhere by everyone except by the Yankees and Aaron Boone. Serious question: Did Aaron Boone place a bet to win the Wild Card and not the AL East? Another legit question: Why don’t the Yankees ever fire anyone? Is this make-up for George Steinbrenner’s trigger-finger ways? Boone and Cashman have more job security than a tenured professor. So, the Yanks finally called him up, and I’ve given you my Jasson Dominguez fantasy already — ACKSUALLY, I’ve given you multiple. I am not a Yankee homer, but when I see Dominguez I start tawking like dis here. Okay, I tawk like that anyway, but you understand. He could be a top 20 outfielder the rest of the way, and the same for next year, if you’re tawkin’ keepers here. Grab him everywhere. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

DJ LeMahieu – Hit the IL with “Jasson Dominguez was called up so do we even care what injury the Yanks made-up?”

Alex Verdugo – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs as he hit 9th. Nooooooooooooooo! Don’t make Boone have to think!

Austin Wells – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 13th homer. He was hitting .105 with zero homers in September, so, Wells, uh, maybe he’s catching fire again, but he’s been poor for a spell — p-o-o-r.

Carlos Rodon – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.21. Watched some of this game, because I was too stressed watching Morton/Martinez. Rodon looked unhittable vs. lefties, but looking at his stats, and it’s more good than great.

Salvador Perez – 4-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer. Prolly won’t catch, er, Contreras on the Player Rater for top catcher, but Sal’s a solid number two.

Hunter Renfroe – 1-for-4 and his 13th homer. Or as Scooby Doo would say, “Renfroe!”

Brady Singer – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.42. You want more from Singer, naturally — acapella? — but it was an extremely tough matchup, and he was mostly up to the task.

Kumar Rocker – Will be called up to face the M’s on Thursday. After Kumar stops by White Castle. Okay, if you’re a Mets fan, move onto the next blurb, you don’t want to read the following. In Triple-A this year, he had a 16.2 K/9 and 0.9 BB/9. I am howling. Okay, it was in 10 IP, but it’s indicative of his numbers at every stop this year. Just flat-out filth. I like him more than Jack Leiter (for now, at least). Dominguez and Kumar will be get rookie outlook posts by me this offseason, because I think both could be worth rostering in all leagues next year, even the shallowest. For this year, Rocker’s a streamer. A fun one! Absolutely! But everyone’s kind of a streamer at this point.

Charlie Morton – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.11. Had Morton and his opponent, Nick Martinez, going in more leagues than I care to admit (3), and I’ll be damned it worked out better than I could’ve ever expected. Also, on a side note, the Braves’ hitting looks so weak. Their five through nine hitters are egregious. Bad. Putrid. Their one thru four hitters? Not much better! But, well, continued in the next one:

Nick Martinez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.46. Surprised his ERA is even as high as it is. Maybe it’s because the Braves’ hitting is so bad, but Nick Martinez is a junk merchant. he should be on Storage Wars. Just unpacking beautiful filth. He’s the exact type of starter you want right now — 7-whatever K/9, and no walks, and can throw 100 pitches without breaking a sweat. Streamonator doesn’t love his next one this week, but I’m in already in weekly leagues.

Cristopher Sanchez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.33. Will end the season with an ERA ~3.50, and will be basically free in drafts next year. I don’t know about you, but ~3.50 is near the top of the league in ERA in all my leagues. I know ERA is hard to count on. I’m not dumb, but is it or is it not a category in your league?

Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-4 and his 34th homer, hitting .250. Every fourth time up he gets a hit and he has 34 homers, so he has 136 at-bats. How’s my math? Oh, he has hits that aren’t homers? How convenient.

Tylor Megill – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks 9 Ks, ERA at 44.8. There was zero hitting yesterday in any games, huh? Megill seems to have Heaney-Boyd Fantasy Disease, as in you see them on waivers and start having fantasies of them producing as well as their peripherals say they should. What I like to say to those with He-Bo Fan Disease is: If they’re so good, why aren’t they so good?

Cade Povich – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.91. I don’t know what you are, Cade, but you got Dig’d and Dug’d.

Anthony Santander – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 40th homer. Ah, finally, some hitting. Santander was the 1st Orioles player since Mark Trumbo to hit 40 homers. Ah, a happy Trumboner!

Rob Refsnyder – 4-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homer. RIP DMX, he would’ve loved how Refsnyder rolls.

Tyler O’Neill – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 28th and 29th homer. If we don’t wake up tomorrow hearing about how Tyler’s strained his oblique when the hotel maid tucked in the sheets too tight, we will truly be blessed.

Bryan Ramos – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, as he was called up. If he were on any other team, I’d be saying monocle or intrigued or other semi-interested things, but I am not messing with Shite Sux hitters.

Joey Cantillo – 7 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 5.96. Start everyone vs. the Shite Sux. Including Joey Cantillo who sounds like a DJ at the Dave Party.

Bo Naylor – 2-for-3 and a slam (12) and double legs (5, 6). There should be a rule: If the opposing catcher steals twice off you, you can catch one backhand from your pitcher.

David Festa – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.08. Sorry, Dave Party, when you get hit by Angels, you sound like an early 00’s pop song and you gots to get off my team, Train.

Brandon Drury – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. That’s why he’s the Angels’ cleanup hitter! Emoji making muscles then getting wedgied.

Niko Kavadas – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, only hitting .137. He has a lot of room to move that average up. To like .140, maybe even .150!

Reid Detmers – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.64. There’s some He-Bo Fan Disease side effects with Detmers too, but I was trying to get him on all my teams this week. And, as Streamonator rightfully points out, last night was the hard matchup for the week.

Cody Bellinger – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer, as he tormented his former club, the Dodgers. Then the Dodgers saw what a mediocre year he was having and felt better. A feel good story!

Michael Busch – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .252. Busch has gone dormant of late. With Busch, maybe that’s laying in wait? Either way, a four-hit night could be the beginning of a schmotato run.

Walker Buehler – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.95. Watching that Chimp Crazy show on Max, and it’s so screwed up that I can’t recommend it highly enough! People step in to try to save chimps, but let me ask you this: Who’s going to step in and try to save Dodgers’ starters? They are ruining them all! Buehler, Bobby Miller, Dustin May, Tony Gonsolin? And that’s just in the last year.

Mookie Betts – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .307. Mookie Best!

Valente Bellozo – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.57. How batshizz crazy am I for two-start pitchers at this point in the season? Excellent question, studio audience! I grabbed El Bozo in a 12-team league. Who’s the clown now?

Paul Skenes – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.10. His ERA is 2.10! I’m sorry, how do I put more stank on that. His ERA? It’s. Two. Dot. One. Zero! He threw 100 MPH on his 96th pitch of the game for his final strikeout. 100 MPH! He now holds the Pirates’ all-time rookie record for strikeouts, 151. Speaking of which, you’re drinking 151 if you think you’re gonna be able to draft Skenes next year.

Oneil Cruz – 1-for-4 and his 19th homer, hitting .269. Going 20/25/.270 this year, after missing all of last year — Granted, it was not Elly-type value. — but Cruz is returning fantasy value.

Carlos Correa – No real update, but Twins’ beat writer said, Correa was in good spirits and has “good body language.” Great, his torso is half-filled.