Jay has set the table or whatever he was talking about last week with spoons, knives and whatnot. I think he needs to eat before he writes these. Well if I’m reading him right, that is my queue to grab the tablecloth and pull it out while leaving all the table settings perfectly in place. *Grabs cloth, pulls hard* CRASH! No, not Davis…well, the place setting is ruined, literally broke everything with one fell swoop. Okay, I actually jacked all the silverware and pawned it to pay for my anti-depressants. This is a sign my friends and detractors that opening day is almost here. Draft time is cute like a puppy where we are full of hope and optimism, unless you drafted Stroman, Salazar, Wheeler, and Darvish. Now the season begins and it turns into a dog that pisses on your pillow, craps in your shoes, and turns your socks into swiss cheese. Why all the cynicism J-FOH? It’s who I am, and the chances of you having a perfect draft is as likely as Grey getting that restraining order Giancarlo slapped on him lifted. Give it up Grey, it’s not happening. Seriously, it’s time for reality to start as we see how our educated guesses/luck/gut instincts/stat crunching/strategies start to pan out. Here is to not having an unlucky year *toasts 40ozer to computer*.

Like last season, I took a look at a few leagues pre-season and passed draft day judgements. I will be doing the same this year, but instead of a Star Wars theme, will be going with a Seinfeld theme. There will be Master of My Domain for those not reaching with that hand and showing restraint, No Soup for You for bad choices or heavy reaches, and Kenny Rogers Roasters, who like this episode, are the sleepers and bounce backs I like. This is all for fun here and in no way reflects the opinions and attitudes of Razzball Inc, its affiliates and/or subsidiaries.

Seinfeld-Wars_o_94665

Take on Magoo – looks like a mixed bag of RCL players and what appears to be at least one auto drafter. A few positional reaches but for the most part pretty solid draft. I like all the MR’s taken late. That’s how you get it done!

Master Of My Domain

3.35 Michael Brantley, Deep North Nine. 4.40 Nolan Arenado, THE SHAKES. 7.80 David Ortiz, The DMT Spirit Molecule. 8.95 Jorge Soler, Big Magoo. 9.103 Charlie Blackmon, Marmot Marauders.

No Soup For You

3.25 Freddie Freeman, Flicker Street Parolees. 5.52 Kole Calhoun, Concord Minutemen. 17.201 Marcus Semien, THE SHAKES.

Kenny Rogers Roasters

10.111 Jay Bruce, YLee Coyotes. 11.125 Evan Gattis, Smoke Em If You Got Em. 12.139 A.J. Pollock Team mack. 15.176, Khris Davis, The DMT Spirit Molecule. 16.191 Brandon Belt, Big Magoo. 20.238 Drew Hutchison, Ezekiel 25:17. 23.268 Nick Castellanos, Concord Minutemen.

Lester’s RCL #1 – not as much RCL strategy here. Looks like they are playing it straight and not going all frequent rosterbater in here. Only time will tell

Master Of My Domain

4.38 Justin Upton, No BJs For Melvin. 4.43 Bryce Harper, The Great Knoche. 6.66 Chris Davis, Back Pew Generals. 8.93 Mark Trumbo, Juicy Juice. 9.105 Pablo Sandoval, Cactus Jack.

No Soup For You

2.23 Freddie Freeman, Team kruse. 4.42 Kole Calhoun, Back Pew Generals. 5.57 Sonny Gray, Cactus Jack. 7.80 Jonathan Lucroy, K/9 Unit.

Kenny Rogers Roasters

9.99 Jay Bruce, For Shizzo My Rizzo. 11.127 Evan Gattis, Back Pew Generals. 12.135 A.J. Pollock, Team thirdherders.  17.198 Avisail Garcia, The Great Knoche. 17.203 Khris Davis, No BJs For Melvin. 20.229 Drew Hutchison, Friar Gwynn.

Now some of you may wonder why I did this little exercise here and to be honest its a bit of an ego trip I’m on…I’m on one! Its also to show where the values lie in the draft and that we don’t need to panic when we draft. Just because you missed on player A doesn’t mean you can’t get a comprable player B a little later. Take Kole Calhoun and Charlie Blackmon. I like them both and find them of similar value for 2015. But their RCL ADP difference is 50 spots. Below is a little side by side examination. To be unbiased I’ll use Rudy’s dollar values, Steamers projections, and Grey’s Projections.

Player/ RCL ADP Rudy’s $’s Steamer Grey’s Projections
Kole Calhoun/ 72 15.3 72/18/62/8/.262 98/22/53/10/.269
Charlie Blackmon/122 16.3 74/15/61/20/.274 79/15/60/20/.285

I don’t want Calhoun owners to get buyers remorse or feel bad if they drafted him too high. He definitely has upside for 2015 and is an exciting player to own. I would just prefer to pay for Chuck later and fill a different need. Blackmon is a guy that some perts have fear for the Weiss factor or are unsure how many homeruns to expect. He plays in Coors, let’s stay optimistic. If you still have drafts left let Kole pass until we get into the 80’s and keep an eye on falling Blackmon.

Before I take off I want to let you know about what I will be covering here for the 2015 season. As usual I will be covering the Razzball Friends and Family League as we follow the Grey vs. Rudy battle. I’m in this one too so hopefully I’ll be talking about them eating my dust…yeah most likely not. I’ll be pulling data from Vins great work and sharing them to you as they come up. Regular league coverage will be a staple as I get a chance to talk about all of you every week. Who doesn’t like seeing their name in print? If I can get an assist from our numbers guys I would like to get some lovin for the high index leagues this year. You guys are putting in the daily heavy lifting and I love that. I might even throw in some RCL strategy tips as I think some people are not getting what can be done in an ESPN style format. The three most important terms for you to master is rosterbate, batty call and stream stream stream because knowing is half the battle.

 

TO JOIN A LEAGUE

Click the LINK in the ‘League Link’ column (see below grid) and enter the PASSWORD at ESPN. Emails are there for some leagues, but you shouldn’t need to email anyone.  You can join as many leagues as you like.

TO START A LEAGUE

Please create a league in ESPN based on the league rules reference above. Step by step: Hit Create. Then Create ESPN Custom (middle option), Name League, Change to 12 Teams, Restriction Type: None, Open to All Users, Access: change to Private, create Password, leave as Roto and Snake, Make Draft Date and Time, Create. From Default settings all you have to do is change to TWO DL SLOTS and 180 Starts by pitchers. So, you go to ROSTERS and Click “Edit Roster Settings.” There, change to 2 DL Slots and 180 Starts (the counter will change to 20.0 per slot). Then SUBMIT Roster Settings. Finally, Create Your League! (Important Note: Make sure league is viewable to public but requiring a password to avoid non-Razzballers joining.) When that’s finished, click here. You will be permissioned shortly so you can add your league info to the Google Doc (the below grid cannot be edited from this page). On that Google Doc, you will need to enter your name, league link, password and please UPDATE the number of openings as your league fills up. That’s it. Oh, and don’t use your bank account password. You can start as many leagues as you like.

 

 

If you need an over the net friend you can follow J-FOH on Twitter.

 
  1. Birdmann says:
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    when Marcus out performs Xander in the 17th there will be no soup for you. I have nothing to back this up but, in Beane I trust, coming home, and and being coached by a fellow Golden Bear. Mark it down now, bash me later!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Birdmann: you’re an A’s fan…moving on

  2. Jay

    Jay says:
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    For those who have been asking, my league will open later tonight. Thanks!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Jay: good to know so many people have been asking

      • Kung Pao Panda says:
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        @J-FOH: I’m certainly not trying to be negative, but since you referenced a league above having at least one autodrafter, which I’m assuming we’d all rather avoid, I have a question. I really wanted to be in a RCL that is fun, competitive, all that stuff. We had four autodrafters last night including the commissioner – is that the norm or an exception? I can’t imagine being the commissioner of a league and skipping the draft.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Kung Pao Panda: I hear ya, I get pssed when people miss the draft especially in competitive leagues. I had to miss my draft last night but got a proxy to fill in for me. I suggest next year to be here in January and start recruiting commenters to play in an RCL together that way you can up the chance of getting a full crew and you never know you might make some friends. I did that last year and we ended up being one of the high index leagues and chat all the time with each other.

          • Kung Pao Panda says:
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            @J-FOH: Thanks, yeah definitely need to get started sooner next year but since it was Jay’s league I thought it might be pretty competitive, and it very well may still be (I hope). Just want a time and effort commitment to be spent somewhere where others are trying too. Thanks!

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Kung Pao Panda: a good place s to pay attention to the high index leagues in the season and see who is playing in those

  3. Carnac says:
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    Ahh perfect. I just re-watched S7 of Curb, the Seinfeld reunion season. Stay tuned as I categorize each of Jack’s posts, accordingly. This one is either Funkhouser’s Crazy Sister or The Bare Midriff. Maybe Vehicular Fellatio.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Carnac: crossing fingers for vehicular fellatio…..actually now I want a shirt that says vehicular fellatio on it

  4. Big Magoo

    Big Magoo says:
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    Ah, yes. The Take on Magoo league, aka the “I’ll be streaming my ass off” league. My offense should be killer though.

    I disagree with you that the Kenny Rogers Roasters episode is a sleeper. It’s a classic. Top 5 Seinfeld episode ever.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Big Magoo: to you, but I drop that on other people and its like a joke grenade. Takes a few seconds to get it. And what no love for that artistic imagery?

      • Big Magoo

        Big Magoo says:
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        @J-FOH: You need to stop talking to those people.

        The artwork’s pretty sweet. Reminds me of the some of the old cheesy 80s cover art like National Lampoon’s. I like how it looks like George is dropping a deuce with his pants on.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Big Magoo: nice National Lampoon comp. We’ll played 80’s man

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @Big Magoo: That looks like a team I would draft. I think that means I am on the right track.?!?

      me gusta

      • Big Magoo

        Big Magoo says:
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        @mauledbypandas: If I’m drafting like you, I must be doing something right. I waited on pitching longer than I usually do in this league, but it’s what the room gave me. Gotta zig sometimes.

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @Big Magoo: Yeah I have been waiting forever on pitching this year. If I can’t get one of those top guys I don’t see the point in speculating.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @mauledbypandas: Ive been going with Shields as a top arm if I miss out. Feels weird like new underwear

            • mauledbypandas says:
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              @J-FOH: That’s actually pretty smart with his new abode!

              • Happy Vegans says:
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                @mauledbypandas: kinda why I zagged. Don’t know if it will work but we’ll see. No better place to try than here against the best!

                Great article, Mr. FOH!

  5. Sky

    Sky says:
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    I didn’t read this but I like Seinfeld

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Sky: I don’t see you but I guess you’re there, at least DP see’s you

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        He has a 6th sense when its in regards to me, I believe.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Sky: I hope he doesnt go back and read my Aoki creeper post when he was still 60% owned. My top blunder of all time

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            I’m sure if you apologize in a fashion he is willing to accept, he will graciously accept you back into his kingdom of writers he allows for such a misdeed.

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Sky: well I did publicly apologize about a thousand times, so I guess that means only a thousand more to go and I’m might get the good graces sticker

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                From the looks of things, you’re back in the fold of the bless’d. I have yet to receive my tonsure and take a vow of silence so I’m still a sinner.

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Sky: no silence for you!

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
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                    haha

  6. royce! says:
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    Great concept! And art, too, though I think Jerry needs some dad jeans.

    I really need to pick up Josh Hamilton in our league. The Old Guys Rule team can’t fail without him! Or at least it can’t fail as spectacularly.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @royce!: every old man party needs the guy that won’t grow up

  7. The Link for that new league is not working?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Elijah: Glad you are looking. Did you join it?

  8. Oh never mind :) Later tonite.

  9. Great White North says:
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    What is the ADP of Anthony Rendon in RCLs?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Great White North: thru March 24th he was 15, the 25th thru Apr 2nd he was 30th

  10. One my favorites is O ‘Brien getting a ride in the limo to the Knicks game…

  11. mauledbypandas says:
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    I was thinking earlier about all the guys I have not been willing to pull the trigger on to get them where they will be drafted. I’m looking at you Donaldson!

    Also have a feeling that missing out on Pollock this year is going to make me sad panda

  12. Chris says:
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    I’m just glad that my teams name is on a post that has this gem of artwork!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Chris: thanks, felt that any one who didnt like the post would be seduced by the art work….mission accomplished!

      • Chris says:
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        @J-FOH: im not offended i think was in the conservative tier with upton in the 4th round. I felt like being a little safe there were a few auto drafters in our league so you knew certain guys would get picked based off of the ESPN rankings

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Chris: good strategy you are a master of your domain

  13. UL's Toothpick says:
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    Any action tonight ??? Draft that is….

    • J-FOH says:
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      @UL’s Toothpick: It looks like Jay is having one, I’ll ping him

  14. Kid A says:
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    Dear Skunk Beard,

    I just wanted to mention that REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED lukewarm REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED dick stuck in a triceratops REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED.

    Your pal,

    REDACTED

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @Kid A: Coming to you live and direct from the bottom of the ocean. Secret agent man REDACTED

      • Kid A says:
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        @mauledbypandas:

        You can bat your cute little panda eyelashes at me all you want, but you can’t fool me.

        I know pure evil when I see it.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Kid A: hey lays in the weeds waiting to maul cuter pandas

          • de nachos says:
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            @J-FOH:

            He lays in the weeds waiting to maul
            Cuter pandas who dare have the gall
            to snipe his upsides
            of young Cubs, post-hype Tribes
            All the while saying “I love you all”

            • J-FOH says:
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              @de nachos: did you read that off a cocktail napkin?

              • de nachos says:
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                @J-FOH: I got it from a Baby Name Book.

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @de nachos: yeah you’re drunk, you with the twins right now?

                  • de nachos says:
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                    @J-FOH: The LEGO movie is a helluva sitter.

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @de nachos: that is AWESOME

            • mauledbypandas says:
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              @de nachos: how did you get a hold of the Panda family creed????

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @Kid A: Rule number #1, always maul everything in site

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Kid A: I would just like to give you a REDACTED hug and a REDACTED handshake

    • Cram It says:
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      @Kid A: HAHAHA

    • Wake Up says:
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      @Kid A: This is gold Jerry, gold!

  15. de nachos says:
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    that mysterious Jay draft is a hot tamale. I’ll blister up my clicker finger to get in (until tubby time, of course). Good work on this update, I’m about up to here with the Soler love since i missed him everywhere. Jerry in that art has better abs than Jesús en la cruz. Happy Pascua to all.

    Counting the days until Hamels beans Bryant, because Old School.

    • de nachos says:
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      @de nachos: Ha crikey how do you follow that? Secret Agent X-9, Mr. Cat’s Cradle.

      • Kid A says:
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        @de nachos:

        Go home Nacho. You’re drunk.

        • de nachos says:
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          @Kid A:Ay, i’m not in season liver shape yet, verdad.

          • de nachos says:
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            @de nachos: Did I spell beans right? it looks weird as a verb.

            • J-FOH says:
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              @de nachos: the beaners will not judge you as long as you dont mess with the whole burrito

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: count your beers not your days

  16. The Great Knoche says:
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    A Master of My Domain and a Kenny Rogers Roaster! Good start seeing my name in lights! Almost as appealing as Kramer covered in Butter.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @The Great Knoche: I had to omit other picks I liked so as not to make you greater

      • The Great Knoche says:
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        @J-FOH: By the end Of the year I should usually change it to The Lesser Knoche

  17. b-rock says:
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    I feel like there should have been a “not that there’s anything wrong with that” category

    • J-FOH says:
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      @b-rock: it was on the list but felt too topical

  18. K-DOGG says:
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    Great concept and synergy! Seinfeld loved to mine humor out of baseball. Big Stein was one of my favorite characters and his interaction with George: “We gotta tear down the past. Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man with little girl legs.”

    • J-FOH says:
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      @K-DOGG: Thanks , I thought what do Razzicans like and how do i give it to them?

  19. Wake Up says:
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    Redacted, Tomas, no mas
    His stats got subtracted
    His back fat is wack Kid
    He swings his glove
    Like a guitar being played by The Boss
    Looks like he’s trying to turn a double play while he floss, sis
    He runs around the bases like Newman with no glasses
    And rubs butter on his utters like Kramer,
    covered in molasses…

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Wake Up: you forgot to drop the mic, no really wake you can’t take the mic with you, wake don’t you walk out that door, get back here wake, WAKE! WAKE! WAAAAAAAKE!

  20. Bryan says:
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    Please give me some advice on my hitting,not worried about pitching(going to stream) 11 team roto 5×5, thanks
    C-Zunino
    1b-Edwin
    2B-Rendon
    ss-Santana
    3b-Arenendo
    Of-A.Jones
    Of-Harper
    Of-Ozuna
    Of-Martin
    Of-Garcia
    1b/3b-C.Davis
    2b/ss-Wong
    Until-Hosmer
    Bn-Gyorko
    Bn-Souza
    Bn-Tomas
    Sp-Zimmerman
    Sp-Arietta
    Sp-Bauer
    Cl-Benoit
    Cl-Krod
    Cl-Cecil
    Cl-Hawkins
    Cl-Mejia
    Cl-Soria

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Bryan: Looks pretty solid, might be a little light on average. Speed is TBD with Rendon

Comments are closed.