Drew Pomeranz notched his first win of 2015 last night pitching seven scoreless innings, allowing just two hits and punching out six Mariners. You my boy, Drew! Not too long ago, Pomeranz was once a highly touted prospect with Colorado, children. Yes, believe it or not, the Rockies have pitching prospects just like every other team. It’s funny how an Oakland A uniform changes things. OakTown is the place to be if you’re a highly touted pitching prospect. In the club house, they feed you coconut water, fancy cheeses and all the extra foodie overflow from the SanFran yelpers. Also, warm towels and artisan breads. Pomeranz put up a more than respectable 2.35 ERA and 1.12 WHIP with 64 Ks in 69.0 IP (10 GS) in 2014. Yes, more please. How about that .244 BABIP last year? See where I’m going with this? Did I mention how he was a highly touted prospect? Why is he available in over 90% of leagues? If I were you, I’d live your life, watch then delete everything in your DVR, eat your favorite foods in your fridge and probably sleep with your girlfriend several times. I would also pick up Drew Pomeranz so when you return to your body you wouldn’t have missed your opportunity. DP gets the Astros next week and something tells me Pomeranz come up big this year. The A’s always have that one break out starting pitcher, right? Why not Drew? He was highly touted, people! So grab him before someone else does.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night (*Opening Week Edition*):
Mark Canha – 3-for-5, 3 runs, HR, 2 RBI. Here’s the A’s opening a Canha Mark. Doode was an absolute stud in spring training (.297 AVG, .635 SLG%, 7 doubles, 6 HR) and has continued that success through the first games of the season. Canha get a “what what!” Jay-Z? Bounce with me now. The playing time could be an issue, but as long as he’s hitting he’ll find his way into the line up. Sure it’s early, but I likes what I sees and I picks up Mark Canha.
Ben Zobrist – 2-for-3, 2 runs, RBI. I always had a feeling BenZo was born to play for the Oakland Athletics.
Ike Davis – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBI. Grey told you to BUY Ike this weekend, and last year I told you he could hit 40 home runs! That’s the kind of expert fantasy advice you get free of charge, folks. That’s the truth, no one is paying for this. This year, I’ll go with a more modest projection of 35 homers. Listen, we all need at least one player people can razz us about, this is razzball after all. If not for the razz, we’d just be balls.
Marcus Semien – 2-for-5, run, 2 RBI. Why do I like Oakland A’s so much!? Because no one ever owns them for the first half of the year.
Taijuan Walker – 3.1 IP, 9 hits, 9 ER, 2 BB, 3 K. Well, that went poorly. Yep, nope, that certainly did not go well at all. Hard to get down with that sick beating. Sh-shake it off, shake it off, T-Walk!
Adam Jones – 4-for-4, HR, 2 RBI. Adaaaaayum! Why do I love Jonesy? Y U ask this question? Maybe the speed power combo? Is it his dry cool wit? Or maybe the fact that he looks even better in orange than Taylor Schilling. It’s probably that he never misses a start. Or the way he whispers my name, ever so sensually, “Audie…”. Wait, that’s not my name!? Adam, we need to talk.
Dalton Pompey – 2-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBI. The Jays had themselves a coming out party, racking up 16 hits including three-hit games from Jose Reyes and Jose Bautista, and two-hit days from Josh Donaldson, Justin Smoak and Devon Travis, the only Devon in this week’s newsletter who Grey told you to BUY. But let’s talk about Pompey for a second, because I’m seriously getting tired of talking about myself. Besides having a name that sounds like it should be on the next Expendables poster, Dalton’s got some serious wheels and could score a ton of runs at the top of this mighty Jays line up.
Steve Pearce – 0-for-5. Yep. I thought people needed to chill with the Chris Davis comparisons, but I’m starting to see it now.
Brian Dozier – 2-for-6, HR (1). And the Twinkies first run of the year goes to…wait for it…Brian Dozier! Congratulations Brian, it only took four games.
Tommy Milone – 7.2 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 7 K and his first win. Milone silenced the ChiSox line up limiting them to just two hits. Take it away Fry meme, not sure yet if Tommy good, or White Sox no good.
Zach McAllister – 4.0 IP, 13 hits, 5 ER, 1 BB, 5 K. Many of the fantasy ‘perts had high hopes for Z-Mac in this start. I guess that explains why I’m not an expert. I’m too smaht!
Miguel Cabrera – 3-for-5, SB. The ferocious Tigers offense mauled the poor Injians for 18 hits with three hit games from Victor Martinez, Yoenis Cespedes and Jose Iglesias (3-for-4, run, RBI). Grey told you to BUY Iggy Iglesias because of how Fancy he’s been playing the past couple of days. Black widow, baby!
Anthony Gose – 2-for-6, run, RBI. Here Gose nothing! Another good BUY candidate this week, Anthony’s leading off for a stacked lineup and gots speed to spare. High tail it to the waiver wire, before he Gose poof!
Nick Castellanos – 2-for-4, HR (1). 2 RBI. Nick was a popular sleeper pick for the ‘Roit last year and he’s got as much upside as anybody. His extremely Greek last name also allows me to make a 20-year old SNL reference. He like-a the sauce! Helios! Get some sauce for da man.
D.J. LeMahieu – 3-for-4, run, RBI. DJ is cranking out the hits, bumping the dopest dub steps and handing out MDMA and glow sticks for all the Coors Field faithful. He’s started hot right out the gate and the Rox are home this weekend, you don’t need to be a rock scientist to figure that out. It’s sedimentary, bruh!
Billy Hamilton – 0-for-2, 2 BB, SB (7). Talk about fast & furious! Most of you know by now, I don’t actually “watch” the baseball sport games per se, I just look at box scores and fantasy data. I’m all about dem statz, fam. Well, as I often am, I was sitting in the dark, staring at my team page and noticed Billy Hamilton hadn’t stolen a base yet and the game was just about over. If you can believe it, in that moment a SB appeared on my team like a bit of Disney magic. It is fun to own Billy Hamilton.
Joey Votto – 2-for-3, 2 HR (3), 4 RBI. Like a hockey player hungry for the cup, Joe Vo’s got that look in his eye again. I’m going to choose to believe that Billy Hamilton has something to do with how Votto’s playing so far, because I’m pretty high on Hamilton right now, you guyz.
Jed Lowrie – 1-for-4, HR (2). Let me tell you a lil’ story bout a man named Jed, he’s now homered in back to back games. That’s it. That’s the whole story! I told you it was lil’.
Collin McHugh – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 1 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. McNice. I suddenly want a cheese burger.
Michael Taylor – 1-for-4, HR (1). Taylor might only be a temporary replacement until Span and Werth are healthy, but as long as he’s leading off for Washington he’s worth a look.
Dan Haren – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 1 ER, 2 K. On the one hand, Haren pitched fairly well in the outing but the pen blew it for him, on the other, he faced Devil Rays, whose offense one might describe as “not very good.”
Dee Gordon – 3-for-5, 4 runs, 2 SB (3). If he’s half as good as he was last year, he’ll be worth the pick you over drafted him with.
Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-3, run, 3 RBI, SB (1). What are you running from Giancarlo? I just told you I loved you! Come back!
Christian Yelich – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBI. There had to be a reason the Fish gave him all that money. Unfortunately for me, a newly converted Scientologist, Christian has been labeled S.P. (suppressive person) and the church recommended I disconnect. Starting to wish I hadn’t. Err, just kidding Mr. Miscavige, please don’t tell everyone about my Giancarlo fan fiction. All hail Xenu!
Kevin Kiermaier – 2-for-4, 2 runs, HR (2), 2 RBI. With John Jaso out, Kiermaier is in and led off for Tampa. My first, “Yes, you should pick him up!” of the season.
Asdrubal Cabrera – 3-for-5, 2 RBI. Yaaawn. I honestly have nothing good or bad to say about Asdrubal. It’s almost as if my opinion of him were…tied. Fun Fact! Did you know Billy Hamilton can out run the super car in Fast & Furious 7? Jumping from building to building though? That’s just crazy, Vin Diesel. Just crazy enough to work!
Pedro Alvarez – 2-for-4, HR (2). Is this the year Pedro Alvarez becomes the next Jose Bautista? Or was that next year? Or last year? I’ll have to check my shih tzu’s wearing funny hats calendar. You guys would love it, it’s super cute!
Adam Lind – 2-for-3, 2 RBI. Grey told you to BUY, Lind. And I’m telling you Grey told you to BUY Lind. That makes me the best hype man in fantasy baseball. If his brain wasn’t so fried from smoking all that crack, Flava Flav would be be proud.
David Wright – 3-for-4, 2-run HR (1), SB (1). My first slam & legs of the season! Ahh, a new year. A fresh set of failures await me. Feels Wright that it’d be David. His slam and legs are sauteed with a NY Sirloin and served with a chipotle lime aioli. Thank you, chef!
Cameron Maybin – 1-for-5, HR (1), SB (1). Another slam n’ legs! I sense some post-post-post-post-post-hype sleeper hype! I can’t tell you how many times Maybin has burned me in the past. But he’s on a new team now! Well, in that case, don’t mind if I do.
Paul Goldschmidt– 3-for-4, 3-run HR (1). Au Shizz! To quote Mike Myers second worst film, “I love Gooold…schmidt.” Pauly G. taking care of that GTL and HR all in one evening. Then he heads to Club Karma to rave until first pitch the next day. Pauly G. is a Jersey Shore thing!
Brandon Morrow – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 3 BB, 7 K. I can’t help my bias for Morrow, but he does have another cushy match up next week versus Arizona so, yes, I’m sort of buying this. I’ve had a soft spot for Morrow ever since I streamed his 17 strikeout performance some 2-3 years ago. I was in my fantasy prime then. Oh man, I had the cars, I had the ladies, but most of all I had the respect. I had the world, chico.
Tim Lincecum – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 3 BB, 5 K. Timmmah loves San Diego almost as much as he loves Colorado and Seattle. Have a THC infused fish taco on me!
Wade Davis – 1,0 IP, 3 K, SV. He’s not going to get many save chances, but most teams can use a reliever as good as Wade Davis. If you are not most teams, I’m sorry for wasting your time.
Kendrys Morales – 2-for-5, HR. Remember when the Royals made the World Series, you guyz? Me neither. Grey told you to BUY Kendrys with an ‘S’, and that ‘S’ stands for “smile” of course!
Xander Bogaerts – 4-for-8, run, SB (1). For a minute there I thought this game was still going on when I woke up this morning. Thankfully, it was just one of my playful acid flashbacks. This was the longest game in Red Sox history, and trust me, it felt like it. Xander lives for extras though, and gathered all four of his hits after the ninth. The Yankees managed to tie this one up three times (before it mercifully came to an end), including a game-tying homer by Mark Teixeira in 16th and a Carlos Beltran double in the 18th inning. Pablo Sandoval had four hits in this one and David Ortiz hit a home run in the 16th. I’m going to have a real hard time telling these two apart this season. Pablo Sandoval looks like David Ortiz after he’d been holding the Green Monster up above his head for five hours. Don’t think he can do it? All it takes is a little mango salsa and a Dunkin’ iced regulah! Moving on, nothing like a 7 hour, extra inning marathon match up on April 11 to really get the baseball season adrenaline pumping. Are you guys sick of this yet? 19 innings. Sheesh. Who’s ready for NBA postseason action! Just kidding. I will never get tired of this. I took way to much adderall. I was testing you–and you all passed.
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
