I’ve gone from love to hate to love to “Are we up to love or hate now?” to the DL for¬†Brandon Morrow. ¬†I’ll be honest, some of my love came from getting excited about drafting him¬†and some of my hate came from not owning him and him overperforming, according to his peripherals. ¬†I’m only human, contrary to the stamp the U.S. government put on my hindquarters. ¬†I’m also only human as sung by Human League. ¬†BTW, good call on not naming your song, I’m Only League. ¬†Getting past the jibber-jabbering, Morrow is due back three morrows from today (I used my fingers to count; if it’s Friday and not Saturday, blame my index finger, I don’t know what it’s thinking some times). ¬†When he’s been healthy, which isn’t often but is now, he’s been a fantasy number two with glimpses of being a number one. ¬†There’s no reason why he should be on waivers in any league (though ESPN’s numbers say he’s available in 40% of leagues). ¬†That gives me an idea. ¬†I wonder if we can easily automate ownership numbers for all the Razzball leagues. ¬†Assuming those leagues are more active than most,¬†but, as they said in 14th century China, assuming makes an ass outta of you and Ming.¬† Maybe I should email VinWins. ¬†Hmm, this feels a bit like my inner monologue. ¬†Did I pick up a toilet brush from Target? ¬†That Mexican food wrecked havoc on everything it came in contact– Oh, um, pick up Morrow. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Colby Rasmus¬†– o-for-4, but whatevs. ¬†This is about today’s podcast….¬†You asked for her. ¬†You harassed her on Twitter. ¬†You bugged her on Facebook. ¬†You stood outside her house only to realize she was away at college. ¬†Geiger, let’s go! ¬†The Colby Rasmus Girl is gonna be on this afternoon’s podcast. ¬†You can hardly wait. ¬†No, you!
Moises Sierra¬†– 1-for-1 as he didn’t start? ¬†Hey, I picked up this Creeper. ¬†Jaywrong, you better be Jayright, I need our favorite MLB lovechild to produce.
Ricky Romero¬†– 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 15 baserunners (8 BBs!), zero Ks. ¬†We (meaning me, you and that guy by the copier who’s reading over your shoulder — hey, Bill!) know that Romero would’ve been sent to the Disgraceful List about a month ago if the Jays weren’t hit by so many pitcher injuries, but, on the fo’really, I hope this year doesn’t hurt him going forward in 2013.
Brett Lawrie¬†– Bad news for the Blue Jays young 3rd baseman. ¬†He’s ripping it up in the wrong cage. ¬†He felt renewed soreness in his ribcage and is being shut down until this weekend, which means he may not return for two weeks. ¬†For those of us playing fantasy baseball that have never seen a ‚Äúhitter‚ÄĚ ‚Äúhit,‚ÄĚ problems near the rib cage can cause pain when a batter swings. ¬†It’s not good, over-the-internet friend.
Marco Estrada¬†– 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks vs. the Cubs. ¬†Has struggled to go deep in games, and not because his control’s wonky (1.18 WHIP, under 2 BB/9). ¬†He’s not going deep because he’s striking out a shizzton of hitters. ¬†Now has more Ks than IP and he’s got quite a tidy number of innings (95 2/3 IP). ¬†It’s hard to get too crazy about him outside of good matchups like the¬†Stream-o-Nator¬†had for him yesterday, but he gets the Cubs again next time out.
John Axford – Jim Henderson came in and gave up a pair of inherited runs, but Axford cut off the dowry and got the save. ¬†Whomever the bottle filled with human excrement stops spinning in front of could be next, i.e., you need saves bad to be messing around in Milwaukee. ¬†Forget it, Jake, it’s fantasy owner angina-town.
Luke Hochevar – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners (1 Hit), 10 Ks. ¬†You know what he’s doing, right? ¬†He’s trying to get you with the ol’ great-start-followed-by-terrible-start trick. ¬†It’s older than the ol’ banana in the ol’ tailpipe trick. ¬†Of course, it’s not the oldest trick in the book, mon, which would be going in for a hand shake and stealing the Schwartz ring. ¬†Hochevar has a 4.95 ERA and isn’t worth trusting outside of dire H2H matchups.
Luke Scott – 1-for-4 as he returned from the DL after a month’s absence. ¬†Luke, you are my waiver wire fodder. ¬†When he’s going well. ¬†I’d wait on that.
Doug Fister – Due to his groin, he could be scratched this week. ¬†TMI.
Dewayne Wise – 4-for-5, 1 run. ¬†Yo, it’s Wewayne and the whole full-Fudd posse! ¬†Comin’ wive and coweck! ¬†If you aren’t getting some Wewayne wight now, you’re doing it wrong like foreign policy of James K. Polk’s. ¬†And….and…and… that’s all, folks.
Kevin Youkilis – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs with his 15th homer, a grand slam. ¬†Thank God, Dunn didn’t follow it with a homer. ¬†Hawk would’ve needed to be rushed to the ER. ¬†He gone! ¬†No, really, he gone! ¬†Heart couldn’t take all the excitement.
Brett Anderson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks and Tommy John gets another nickel. ¬†Pretty incredible start for the first one back, even against the Twins. ¬†Anderson only threw 84 pitches with 62 of them strikes. ¬†Against a better team, that might be closer to a 6 IP, 3 ER start. ¬†There’s really not time for me to see him pitch as many times as I’d like before picking him up, but he gets the Indians next so it’s not a terrible start. ¬†Hey, I’m over here, standing between all the hedges.
Stephen Strasburg – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks. ¬†I think I’m gonna turn over a new leaf next year. ¬†Like a real arborist! ¬†I’m gonna ignore all talk of pitchers getting shut down. ¬†In the end, is it that big of a deal to get 5 months of great pitching and then have to run streamers out for September? ¬†In most leagues, it’s not.
Ian Desmond – 2-for-3 with his 2nd homer in as many games. ¬†Or if you put it through a Sean Connery translator, ‚ÄúEe-yan, you‚Äôre the man now, dog.‚ÄĚ
Geovany Soto – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and a homer, now hitting near .350 in the last week. ¬†Don’t look now but Soto’s showing some fantasy value. ¬†I said not to look! ¬†You always ruin the surprise.
Yu Darvish – Might miss a start due to a tight right quad. ¬†That’s what you get, Yu, when you get lax on your pre-game calisthenics. ¬†Have you learned nothing from Sadaharu?
Andrew Cashner – Threw two scoreless in his rehab outing. ¬†Cashner rules everything around me, Stream-o-Nator get the money, dolla, dolla bill, y’all!
Jhoulys Chacin – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 2 Ks as he returned from the DL after a long absence. ¬†I’m not messing with Chacin in most mixed leagues unless my options are tizzerrible. ¬†He could be fine a start or two here and there, but it’s not worth gambling this late in the year on a guy who goes in Coors. ¬†And if you want to argue with me,¬†see this.
Max Scherzer – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. ¬†I found this funny in the it’s-not-funny-at-all way. ¬†Scherzer’s ERA is still at 4.25, and he hasn’t had an ERA over 4 since May when it was only a 4.04 for the month. ¬†April early showers brought a lot of summer flowers or whatever that cliche is.
CC Sabathia – Will return on Friday or as they call it in Thailand, Flaidai. ¬†That would be an awesome name for a Bobby Flay Asian restaurant. ¬†No hate mail at all. ¬†But Bobby needs to work his Southwestern cuisine in somehow. ¬†This is Pad Thai with chipotle¬†peppers. ¬†Oh, give it a rest, Flay. ¬†You’re an Ginger from New York and you and Phil Simms could have a competition for “Who has less eyebrows?” ¬†Wait, that could be his restaurant name, The Ginger Garden.
Todd Frazier – 2-for-3 with his 18th homer. ¬†Yesterday, someone asked a FMK question with Frazier involved and was surprised I didn’t want to marry Frazier. ¬†As I told them, Votto’s going to come back and squeeze his playing time, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t own him until then.
Zack Cozart – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. ¬†There’s no one in most mixed leagues crazyhappycool with how Cozart played this year. ¬†But if he gets three more homers in September and raises his average ten points… Well, a 17 homer, .260 average guy at middle infidel is that bad? ¬†Rhetorical!
Dale Thayer – Blew this third save yesterday. ¬†This is completely anecdotal, but I get the sense the Padres will stick with Thayer simply because they don’t have much incentive to win games — wink, wink. ¬†They’d be better off losing them — wink, nudge, kazoo. ¬† Smack in the head, better draft pick,¬†Moe eye poke.
Will Venable – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 1 RBI and his 18th steal. ¬†He’s now 9 for his last 13 with 2 steals and a homer. ¬†Okay, he may not be playing vs. lefties but there’s no reason you can’t start him vs. righties.
Cameron Maybin – 4-for-4 and his 22nd steal. ¬†Obviously the Padres front office didn’t tell their hitters their whole plan of reverse world domination. ¬†Maybin’s another guy that is out of his mind right now — 10 for his last 15 with 2 steals. ¬†That’s so Maybin!
Kevin Frandsen – 3-for-4, 6 for his last 9, hitting .350 over 80 ABs. ¬†Let me show you behind the curtain. ¬†I try to watch a bunch of different games, and then look at box scores for what I missed. ¬†Frandsen is the kind of guy who I would turn the station to a different game when he was coming to bat, and I’d tend to ignore three hits in a game. ¬†So, he’s hitting, but to your deity of choice I pray you can find someone else.
Grady Sizemore – Shut down for the season. ¬†Since his nude photo scandal, his career has been in a constant downward spiral. ¬†He should get Kris Jenner to manage him.
Eric Thames – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer in as many games. ¬†I was thisclose to telling you about Thames yesterday. ¬†Once is a fluke, twice is a trend, three times is a hot schmotato.
Javier Lopez – Two nights, two saves. ¬†Stop salivating, he’s just a LOOGY.
Adam Wainwright – He did the AAAstros with a 5-hit, 12 Ks shutout. ¬†Rudy’s pick for 2nd half Cy Young has been lights out against just about everyone since his 2nd start after the All-Star break. ¬†He’s now 4-0 in August with 4 GS, 4 Wins, 4 ER, 30 IP and 29 Ks. ¬†The Rufus is on fire!
Ernesto Frieri – Got his 15th save. ¬†I was gonna say I’m not sure how he doesn’t have 30 saves by now, but the Angels only seem like they’re a good team. ¬†They’re three games behind the 2nd place A’s in 3rd place. ¬†C’mon, we have Mike Trout on a team and we’re winning an AL-Only league!
Justin Upton – Left yesterday’s game with an undisclosed injury. ¬†All the fantasy owners he screwed this year shed a single tear for him. ¬†So divide that single tear by 12 million or so owners, and at least one of those guys was cutting onions, so no one is crying for him.
Donovan Solano – 3-for-3, a run, 2 RBIs. ¬†All this guy does is rack up singles! ¬†Seriously, that’s all he does. ¬†Maybe the occasional steal. ¬†Really, not much to see here.
Billy Hamilton – Yesterday, he broke the single season minor league steal record previously held by Vince Coleman when Hamilton stole his 146th base. ¬†Vince Coleman commemorated the record by throwing a firecracker at him.