Hey, you here cuz you thought this was a post saying to pick on Atlanta? Well you just got punk’d worse than Ashton Kutcher did when got told he was getting introduced to Demi at a party and thought it was Lovato. Don’t think about the age of her when Kutcher got married, it ruins the joke. And it’s really gross…let’s move on! Hey, here’s Jeff Locke and he sucks! Really, normally I wouldn’t care that a bad pitcher was facing the Braves, but Matt Kemp has been low-key throwing up crazy big numbers of late. Kemp has been making his normal second half surge and actually started a bit early in June. Overall, since that June start, has hit near .300 and has hit .315 overall in the second half to go with seven HRs. Of course, this isn’t just about Matt Kemp but yes, if you wanna get loco with me ese, I think we have some good times ahead if we roll with Atlanta bats. The Braves have actually *looks both ways cautiously* average on offense in the second half. Factor in they have a typical second half bat in Kemp and you’re looking at a one time at band camp girl kind of lineup. Yeah, don’t click that at work if you don’t have headphones on. Fair warning! All that said, I think going all in is appropriate. Gimme some Adonis Garcia, Freddie Freeman, Nick Markakis, the aforementioned Kemp, and Gordon Beckham even if you’re really digging this call. On a day where Coors is on everyone’s mind, sneaking in a way under the radar play gets even sexier. So go against the grain and go #Barves. But you maybe don’t like these ideas so let me give you a few more. Or maybe you don’t like my outdated dance references. For those people, go dab…HA! You’re so 2015! Now on with the show. Here’s my Do the Bernie hot taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…
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Please, blog, may I have some more?