(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

“Hey, I’m Guy Frieri shouting from a cherry-red car and we’re rolling out to some of my favorite Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives! Today, we’re going to Red Bank, New Jersey to visit a little hole in the wall called Aunt Flow’s, where Joey Meneses has established his special take on Italian food. This puttanesca red sauce? You’re not gonna wanna miss!”

After Guy Frieri parks his car; high-fives a patron; randomly runs into a retired NFL player who is still wearing his jersey; tries a deep-fried seafood platter; does the “hunch,” and remarks about how many items are on the well-laminated menu, he gets to the back kitchen, and addresses Joey Meneses, “You’re gonna drop in that mirepoix and let it develop nice color, is that right?”

Meneses looks at Guy then the camera and shouts, “Leave me alone! It’s that time of the month and I didn’t invite you back here! Get out! Aunt Flow’s is closed to business for three to five days!”

So, Joey Meneses has left Aunt Flow’s for 28 days a month to hit for power on our fantasy teams. I did some conjecture on the podcast this week — available to watch now on Youtube! — about Joey Meneses’s hot hitting and Josh Bell’s slump. My thoughts were punctuated with some um’s, but the gist was: If there’s no one in Washington to hit, pitchers will challenge Meneses, not pitch around him, and just let him hit solo homers. On the reverse, Bell now has a good lineup, and pitchers are being more exact with him. It’s conjecture, but con makes a ject out of U R E. Okay, that makes no sense, but you hear me. Meneses was a 20 homer guy with a .286 average in Triple-A this year, but he was about seven years too old for that level. He’s a Quad-A player but a Quad-A player with power is exactly the kind of guy that could excel in the final weeks when pitchers are like, “Meh, what the eff, just pitch him some meatballs.” Did someone say meatballs?! I’m gonna meatball you! Get out of my kitchen! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball: