Your most anticipated article of the year is here! I can read your mind like I read a Twitter feed: scattered and filled with unmentionable things. But don’t worry, I won’t tell people about your Gundam fantasy. Let’s stick to the socially acceptable fantasies — like baseball!

Every year, I sift through my trove of data and give you ridiculous yet data-driven takes that aim to give you the edge in your fantasy team construction. Successful calls have included Robbie Ray and Luis Castillo, while failed calls have included Jack Flaherty and Tyler Mahle. So…if it wasn’t for injuries, I’d be Nostradamus!