Well, this is it folks. As alluded to last week, we have reached the last Saturday of the regular season, and therefore, have reached the last Saturday Daily Notes of the season. Obvious statement is obvious. To celebrate such a glorious occasion, I have formulated a thought. Incredible, I know! Me? Formulating thoughts? Quick, someone file estoppel action! Anyways, we’ll be doing notes like we always do, in that, there will still be the ever popular bolded and hyper-linked player names along side the world famous Razzball player blurb thing-a-ma-jigs. But we are going to go a little GIF heavy this time around. Why? Because I thought it would be fun. And this is my series. Deal. But there’s a rub here. Because brisket bro. Also, because these GIFs will represent the story of each specific player when it is used.

Now, you may say to yourself, isn’t this a cheap way to not do any work? And I say to you… maybe. But also, let me put it this way. GIF hunting is hard. GIF making is hard. GIF editing is hard. Achieving proper context is hard. All of this is hard. That’s what she said. Hey-ohhh. But yeah, enjoy the show. Or don’t. It’s the last one this season, so really, do whatever you want. After all, that’s what I did. Here’s what I noticed yesterday:

Norichika Aoki — 2-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs, and his 8th home run. I’ve used the Aoki pun ad nauseam. But you know what? That’s Aoki! They call that flawless victory.

Michael Bourn — Still out of the lineup, and may not return this season due to a wrist sprain. If your championship hopes were relying on this news, you’re doing it wrong.

Miguel Cabrera — 2-for-3. Oh yeah, you know I have a good one for him.

Miguel Cabrera’s season, in GIF form…

Starlin Castro — 3-for-4. Starlin, now that this travesty of a season is over, you may now remove the word ‘Star’ in your name and replace it with, err, whatever the opposite of a star is. Britney Spears? Eh. Super Nova? No, that’s not the opposite of a star. Oh, I know. I guess we’ll name you Blackholin’. Hmm. That sounds like something I watched the other day…

Bartolo Colon — 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, and 8 Ks. I have no idea how this season happened, and I can’t imagine it was because of something he ate. Since he eats a lot. And, you know, we’d be hard pressed to figure out which food item helped here. I mean, how to you test infinity? He’s fat. Get it?

Coco Crisp — 4-for-5, 1 run. I prefer Berry Crunch. Why? Because ef the roof of my mouth, that’s why.

Khris Davis — 2-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs, 1 SB, and his 11th home run. Chris Davis also hit a home run yesterday, furthering the conspiracy that, they are, in fact, the same person.

R.A. Dickey — 7.1 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, and 3 Ks. As an admitted fan and masochist (yes, he was in all my lineups for all 34 starts), I have to say, this GIF was an easy call.

R.A. Dickey’s season, in GIF form…

Or, more accurately, my reaction to R.A. Dickey’s season in GIF form.

Stephen Drew — 2-for-4, 3 RBIs. A living reminder that sometimes I wonder what J.D. Drew is up to. Oh, wait a second. Yeah, I don’t care about that at all.

Scott Feldman — 2.1 IP, 8 ER, 9 baserunners, and 1 K. Eeeesh.

Yovani Gallardo — 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners and 6 Ks. A meh season from a meh player. Meh.

Yovani Gallardo’s season, in GIF form…

Yeah, I know, bonus points for Emma Stone. Way ahead of you man.

Josh Hamilton — 1-for-4, 2 RBIs. The good? Has hit .327/.386/.507 in his last 150 AB’s. The bad? Even with those 150 AB’s, he’s still hitting .249/.306/.432 for the year. The ugly? Not necessary. What I just wrote was pretty ugly.

Matt Harvey — If Harvey continues to rehab his partially torn UCL, rather than undergoing Tommy John surgery, he’ll be eligible for the Arizona Fall League. Which seems marvelous. What’s the cure? Pitch even more than you normally would. Those Mets, always ahead of the game.

Jason Heyward — 0-for-3. Maybe I should start grouping you with the Upton brothers.

Jason Heyward’s season, in GIF form…

Felix Hernandez — 6.0 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, and 6 Ks. Sure, he’s lost velocity four straight years, but has also improved his K/9 and BB/9 in the same time span. Truly a King? That’s the best I could do to tie in his nickname. At least you got the Ron Burgundy question mark. (Ron Burgundy also factors in later.)

Matt Holliday — 2-for-2, 2 runs, 1 RBI, and his 21st home run. I know our friends across the pond call a vacation ‘going on holiday’, but why don’t they pluralize that? I mean, if it’s more than one day, you gotta add the ‘s’, right? I mean, they do use the word ‘day’ over there, yeah? What were we talking about again?

Adam Jones — 1-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs, and his 33rd home run. Yet another typical 30-ish/15-ish season from Jones. He gets penalized in OBP leagues, but you’ll be hard pressed to notice because of everything else he does.

Clayton Kershaw — 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners (no walks), and 8 Ks. A very remarkable year. I think I need a GIF to describe it.

Clayton Kershaw’s season, in GIF form…

Both in figurative and literal terms. Seriously.

Corey Kluber — 5.1 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, and 5 Ks. So, does anyone else here think that when Kluber faces off against Doug Fister, it should be ‘Domestic Violence Awareness Night’ at the ballpark? You’re right, that’s insensitive. Unless you’re Irish. ON. FIRE.

Cliff Lee — 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners (no walks), and 13 Ks. Yet another fantasy season of fantasy eliteness. An elitansy, if you will. And you might. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe Joe Flacco just got jealous.

David Ortiz — 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, and his 30th home run. At age 37, Big Papi has hit .307 with 30 HR’s, 103 RBIs, and 82 runs with two days to go in the regular season. Amazing. Also, he has 4 stolen bases. Wait, what?

David Ortiz’s season, in GIF form…

Trevor Plouffe — 3-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI. This is the sound a Plouffe makes.

Chris Sale — 5.1 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, and 5 Ks. Here I am, still waiting for his arm to explode. I’ve been spouting about this soon-to-be injury for two seasons now, and I still can’t bring myself to trust him. Look, I don’t wish injury on anybody, but c’mon. Joel Peralta once injured a neck muscle jumping out of a car in pursuit of sammiches. SAMMICHES!

Jean Segura — He could return to the starting lineup later today after not playing since last Wednesday due to a hamstring strain.

James Shields — 7.0 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, and 10 Ks. You think he’ll be remembered more for the Wil Myers trade or wanting to be called Jamie for a couple of years?

Giancarlo Stanton — 1-for-4, 3 RBIs. Never again. Until next year. Sigh.

Giancarlo Stanton’s season, in GIF form…

Stephen Strasburg — 7.0 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, and 4 Ks. Had a great, yet quiet year, even with his inverted-W motion and all. Also, what is wrong with you baseball science? An inverted-W is just an ‘M’. Call it an ‘M’ you jerks!

B.J. Upton and Justin Upton — 0-for-3. (Bossman Jr. DNP, thankfully.) As you know, I’ve been grouping the Upton brothers into the same blurb because I like to focus my fantasy baseball rage. So they are combined here, so shall they be combined by the GIF Gods.

B.J. and Justin Upton’s season, in GIF form…

Please also take this as a mental note to watch Breaking Bad’s finale on Sunday.

Jayson Werth — 2-for-2, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, and his 25th home run. My name is Jason, but, as you might have noticed, most of everyone just calls me Jay. Werth has figured out how to combine the awesome. Interesting.

Travis Wood — 1.0 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, and 1 K. The numbers certainly don’t match the peripherals, but regression never happened. (Even though he tried his darnedest to fit it all into one game last night.)

Travis Wood’s season in GIF form…

David Wright — Was not in last night’s lineup due to a thumb injury. Should be ready to go later today though.

Ben Zobrist — 3-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI, and his 12th home run. The first sleeper post highlighting Zobrilla for next season has already been written. By me. For all the 2014 drafts starting tomorrow I guess.

I’d like to thank Grey, Vin, the entire Razzball family, and most of all, you, the Razzball readership for yet another fantastic season. We laughed, we cried, and we ate plenty of Twix. Or, at the very least, I did. A lot. Don’t forget, we’ll be going over how my Bold Predictions (Part One, Part Two) at the beginning of the season turned out in a few weeks, SPOILER ALERT, I did terrible. But, beyond that, be sure to check out my Sunday Night Football Fantasy Football Notes over on the Football side of Razz. And yeah. You didn’t think I would leave you without putting my writing season into GIF form, did ya?

Jason Longfellow’s, aka JayLong’s, aka JayWrong’s, aka JW-1’s writing season, in GIF form…

JayWrong is a 30-year old Korean/Irish writer who finds solace using Makers Mark as a vehicle to impress women, and also has an affinity for making Jennifer Lawrence GIFs. You can follow him @jaywrong, read his blog Desultory Thoughts of a Longfellow, or, you can find his GIFs at his tumblr, named Siuijeonseo.

  1. Shake N Bacon says:

    I can’t stop laughing at that Kershaw GIF. I’m gonna take an educated guess, that is a soccer coach? Looks like MExico vs. someone. Did you do the lightning bolts and fire hair or was that done by someone else? Either way, it’s brilliant!

    It’s been fun reading your stuff this year JayWrong.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @Shake N Bacon: Thanks Shake! And no, unfortunately, I can’t take credit for that one. But it was sooo good, had to use it.

      • ichirosan says:

        @jaywrong: Yep. He’s Miguel Herrera, coach of the Club America, earlier in the year when they won the Mexican Soccer League Championship

        • Swat290 says:

          and the hair and lightning are clearly Dragon Ball Z inspired. He’s gone super saiyan! I loled

  2. Ron says:

    This is it J-dub. Last question of the year…..sorry….i said I wouldn’t cry….

    For all the marbales and a championship which pitcher would you start of the 3 below?

    Quintana vs KC
    Chen @ CWS
    Roark (if they choose him to start) @ ARZ

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @Ron: I’m crying for the both of us!

      I don’t like any of them, but I would rank them Roark, Quintana, and then Chen, like 25844 miles away.

  3. J-Dub says:

    Great job all year!! Thanks for the work!!

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @J-Dub: and thank you for reading!

  4. dirtyd says:

    Last second matchup plays today What do you think? Need HR and AVG.

    3b (pick 1)
    Ryan Zimmerman vs B McCarthy
    Trevor Plouffe vs Kazmir

    OF (Pick 3)
    Soo Choo vs Charlie Morton
    Justin Upton vs Ethan Martin
    Plouffe vs Kazmir
    Giancarlo vs Anibal Sanchez
    Span vs B McCarthy
    Marlon Byrd vsArroyo
    Blackmon vs Greinke

    SS (pick 1)
    Hardy vs Lester
    Bloomquist vs Haren
    Cozart vsCharlie Morton

    Im Leaning Zimmerman, Choo-Upton-Giancaro, Hardy

    Plouffe is hitting well last few games though Id like to fit him in somehow.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @dirtyd: I like your setup, but I hear you about Plouffe. I might sub him in for JUp.

  5. CWebb says:

    Great job all year man. You helped me win my league and brought the FUNNY!

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @CWebb: 2-for-2 then. Thanks buddy!

  6. Big AL says:

    I think you should use this GIF format in your blog all next year. It’s hilarious and really put’s a emphasis on what your trying to convey in your thoughts. The only thing I’m slightly perturbed with you about is R A Dickhead. You prolonged my self flogging of myself with your misguided believe in him this year. It was hard to even start him against Miami or Houston. Taking up one of my bench spots as Werth and Soriano popped up on waivers. But I’m over it now and we can be over the internet buddies again. You did your penance by holding him all year. Have a good break and see you next year. I’m Drafting all Cardinal SP pitching next year. Really may be a good idea !!

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @Big AL: I hear ya! And totally, I was going to be stubborn with RA Dickey all the way. Your pain was my pain.

      And yeah, something is in the water over in the Ozarks…

      • goodfold2 says:

        @jaywrong: not all st.louisans hang out in the ozarks.

  7. JK says:


    Do you know where I can look at individual batting statistics sorted by dates?

    For example, let’s say I want to look at Hosmer’s stats this year from between June 4th and September 4th of this year.

    I know there is a website where this can be done because I’ve done it beore. But after googling and googling and googling and can’t seem to find it.

    Any help?


    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @JK: Honestly, I just use Fangraphs for specific dates and then dump it into excel.

    • VinWins

      VinWins says:

      @JK: Baseball Reference

  8. ferris says:

    what do you think the chances are that


    go at least 5 innings tomorrow?

    neither seems to have done that for quite a while

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @ferris: yeah, I’d say low.

  9. Do You Even Lift? says:

    I feel like you’re a secret miscer.

  10. fausto says:

    Start or sit Sonny Gray sunday? I’m down 4-6. Trail wins 4-3 own era 2.70-4.50 leading whip 1.22-1.26. Gray is my only option. Lost anibals W tonight hurt. Tomorrow He’s throwing darvish ryu quintana. Hoping for a vulture win and a sv from either romo jansen perkins grilli or the closer formerly known as strop. You guys are the bees knees ….I need 2hr from soriano so if you can work some magic lets do it.1st and 2nd place is a difference of a decent mortgage payment so I need 1st. Thoughts?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @fausto: I’ll try my best. I have to say, based on what you told me, I’m okay starting Gray, since wins are so random, but I wouldn’t expect much. I’d hate to be wrong here, but I might just sit Gray and lock the ERA and Whip, hoping its enough.

  11. TheNewGuy says:

    Praying you live on the east coast, need final day advice soon before I head out (hence coming to you over Grey)!

    1 pt out of 3rd in my money keeper, with a chance to gain points in HRs and W’s. I’ve loaded my lineup with (mediocre) starters for today for the old final day pitching blowout, final spot should I consider Westbrook over G Holland for a win? Or is Westbrooks blowup potential far too risky.

    Also pick 2 outta 3 bats for bomb potential: K morales, Arcia, the dud(a).

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @TheNewGuy: Yup, over in DC. I’d do Arcia and Duda. And yeah, Westbrook may blowup, or may not even reach 5 innings. But I don’t see any other way if you need that win.

  12. TheNewGuy says:

    “Matt Holliday — 2-for-2, 2 runs, 1 RBI, and his 21st home run. I know our friends across the pond call a vacation ‘going on holiday’, but why don’t they pluralize that? I mean, if it’s more than one day, you gotta add the ‘s’, right? I mean, they do use the word ‘day’ over there, yeah? What were we talking about again?”

    Ha sure we talked about this before man, but its a good point! Dunno why we don’t say holidays, even though that sounds a bit wierd.

    You know whats best about living in England? No not our smoking hot girls, nor our amazing weather, its being able to pick up players every morning before every other dude can in my leagues. Been doing it for years and its pretty damn satisfying!

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @TheNewGuy: Yeah, I think I did something similar at some point, sometimes the jokes just group together and the memory gets fuzzy.

      The time zone thing, yeah, seems like a great advantage. Good hearing from you throughout the year.

    • goodfold2 says:

      @TheNewGuy: that’s a ridiculous advantage. Never even thought about that. Leagues should be restricted to same time zones due to this.

  13. my man otis says:

    Thanks for the great year gents! Great content as always.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @my man otis: Thanks for reading!

  14. Joey Belle says:

    I can’t figure out the miggy GIF. they guy in the black T holding his face never leaves the frame. what the hell is going on there?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @Joey Belle: The rare perfect loop.

  15. BluePulaski says:

    Grey…Jay…Razzball team…thanks for all your help this fantasy baseball season…cheers!

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @BluePulaski: thanks!

  16. Boy Wonder says:

    I won my league!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhHHHhhhHHHHHhh………..

    That is all.

    P.s. Thanks for all the help, Razzball.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @Boy Wonder: Awesome, that’s what it’s all about bro!

  17. Boy Wonder says:

    14 team H2H money league

    My Final Lineup

    C: Sal Perez
    1B: Paul Goldschmidt
    2B: Aaron Hill
    3B: Ryan Zimmerman
    SS: Jed Lowrie
    OF: Yoenis Cespedes
    OF: Yasiel Puig
    OF: Marlon Byrd
    UTL: Kyle Seager
    Bench: Darin Ruf

    Yu Darvish, Hisashi Iwakuma, Justin Verlander, Jeff Samardzija, Francisco Liriano, Bartolo Colon, Sonny Gray, Dan Straily, Chris Perez (who almost cost me in the end..) and Rex Brothers.

    Notable moves during the season:
    -traded Bryce Harper and Mike Minor for Justin Verlander on June 12th.. I spent a lot of the second half of the season regretting the trade..
    -having to drop Allen Craig last week due to his sprained ankle (Marlon Bryd was my replacement)

    Thank God it’s over.. I was going to have a heart attack. I ended up winning this week 9-3 but to give you an idea, my team hit .235 with an OPS of .650 to his .240 and .618 OPS.. I only lost batting average, stolen bases, and saves.. (SB’s and Saves I pretty much punted in the playoffs).

    P.s. wooooohooooooooooooooo……

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:

      @Boy Wonder: Nice, close call. Great staff there too.

      • Boy Wonder says:

        @jaywrong: Thanks bro! Enjoy your off-season.

  18. Boy Wonder says:

    Ok, last thing.. Almost forgot, I also had to drop Jason Castro last week… Just wanted to give credit where credit is due. Jason Castro is stud (when healthy), and he should only get better. He has a short, quick, compact, powerful swing.

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