When you were a kid, did you ever receive a formal invitation and it was addressed like this, “Master Albright?”  Okay, now think about Harrison Bader getting a formal invite.  I’m dead.  That legit made me laugh for twenty minutes.  I stopped midway to breath from an oxygen tank, but a full twenty minutes, nevertheless.  Imagine this:  Mom, “Harrison, come here and open your auntie’s wedding invite?”  “Why does it say, Master Bader?”  Dad, “You’ll know in a few years, son.”  Not to mention, Master makes every little boy sound like the kid in The Toy.  S’lame!  I don’t even want to Google the origins for calling a boy, Master, because it’s prolly hella racist.  Any hoo!  Harrison Bader is playing every day, but the Cards do have 19 outfielders to juggle, so he’s not 100% guaranteed.  He is hitting for power and average, and at the top of the lineup.  With the Cards trying to make the playoffs, they’re putting their best lineup on the field and Bader has been a part of that.  Even if Master Bader sounds like he wouldn’t play well with others.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the Buy, I just wanted to mention our Fantasy Football tools.  Freudian, because this is my Buy and this would be your buy?  P to the erhaps.  But no purchase necessary, there’s a 7-day free trial, so you can give them a whirlybird for the first week if you like.  Anyway II, the Buy/Sell:

BUY

Robinson Chirinos – The last catcher to be a Buy was Welington Castillo and he hit 73 homers last week and Bonds was like, “I’m gonna shrug after I shave my head,” so you can not pick up Chirinos, but I’d advise against it.  Or is that I advise it?  Uh-oh, Chirinos!

Jose Martinez – Fun fact!  Jose Martinez is Mexico’s name for John Doe’s.  Less fun but more relevant, Martinez has been hot.

Matt Olson – Some of you might be like, “Wow, surprised Olson wasn’t this week’s Buy,” yeah, well, Master Olson isn’t funny!

C.J. Cron – You know what they should do in the week before the regular season starts?  Have every team play a game of pickup.  No, I don’t care if they can play basketball.  I just want to see what order the manager chooses players.  If my hypothesis is right, Cron would be sent on his bicycle to get everyone Gatorade while the Angels played.

Lucas Duda – Recently, this Duda has been raging, which sounds like me after eating spicy food.

Ian Happ – This always fascinates me, and likely just me.  Some prospects are crazy touted, and they come up with hype, then, by the third month in the league, no one cares about them anymore.  I get that Happ is platooning, but have you seen his numbers in part-time at-bats?  There’s no league where it doesn’t make sense to hold Happ on your bench and play him when Maddon does.

Jose Peraza – Mentioned this the other day, but with Hamilton out, Peraza stands to get some playing time in the final few weeks, so could be a source of SAGNOF! and other general goodness (or badness, but we won’t mention that outside the parenthetical).

Jose Reyes – Part of me feels like if you add Mets to your roster, your team will collapse.  This is likely irrational.  Similar to thinking your entire pitching staff can go from 4th best to 3rd worst in 18 months.

Eduardo Escobar – Has been a hot schmotato.  Speaking of Escobar, I still haven’t started season 3 of Narcos.  Have people watched it?  I’ve heard it’s solid in its reboot.  Reboots always worry me; maybe that’s why I used to stay in relationships about two years past when I should’ve left.  *jots down note in topics to discuss with shrink notebook*

Kevin Kiermaier – This guy is more of an accessory to success.  Like my beeper on my belt.

Delino DeShields – As I type this, I’m already over him.  Maybe that’s what expectations will do, cause major disappointment.  Way to sell the Buys (literally)!

Mitch Haniger – Lots of people who thought they knew better than others (myself included) loved Haniger as a sleeper this year.  My random prediction:  next year, no one will be interested in him at all and he’ll break out.  Same could be said for Peraza.

Brandon Nimmo – Here’s what I said this morning, “You in March, “I like how Miggy’s schedule looks in September for H2H, so I’m drafting him in the 1st round.”  You now, “Nimmo is the best hitter on my team.”  Nothing necessarily makes Nimmo a great player, but that doesn’t matter this time of year.  In April, Thames hit 11 HRs.  For H2H, that doesn’t matter anymore.  Nimmo matters.”  And that’s me quoting you in March, me quoting you now and me quoting me!

Cameron Maybin – His value has taken a hit going to the Astros, but he has been hotter than a lot of other Astros bats, so maybe they use him in more advantageous ways.  By the by, advantageous sounds like a word Professor X from X-Clan would’ve loved to use.

Rafael Montero – Pickin’s be slim on the Stream-o-Nator, like its weekend plans.

Hyun-Jin Ryu – Streamers this weekend are like bringing a knife to a gun fight.  Good for y’all if you can find solid ones.  Ryu doesn’t go until Monday and Stream-o-Nator likes him.  Saturday and Sunday streamers were like, “Yo, it’s the end of some H2H playoff weeks so everyone’s owned.  Hey, cool, a tumbleweed!  Is that tumbleweed starting in Petco?”

Blake Parker – Not sure if he’s really the Angels closer or a Parker *pinkie to mouth* poseur.

Brandon Maurer – If you pick him up to vulture Royals saves, it will turn out great for you!  Though I might be using the archaic definition of great, which means ‘not great.’

Matt Belisle –  Me in March, “Matt Belisle is a…guy I went to high school with that murdered someone for heroin and a watch?  The guy in the alley by my house that always says, “To you and yours” and salutes?  Wait, he’s a Twins reliever, isn’t he?”  Me now, “I kinda prefer my neighbor who salutes after everything.”

Santiago Casilla – From the Wikipedia page for Save Vultures, “When Them Crooked Vultures scrounge for saves, they spit up acid on the closer to make the setup man more appealing, who they then devour.  Their eventual digestion of the setup man usually translates into saves within three days, or they acid-vomit on another closer.”

SELL

Ian Desmond – I hate3 dropping Rockies hitters, but you can’t say “Shine on you crazy Desmond” without sounding sarcastic.  Talk about bucking an obvious narrative.  He went to the Rockies and had the worst season of his career.  He hasn’t homered since June!  And has one steal in that time!  Yo, Daniel Descalso looks at that and shudders.  You, frickin’ bastard, you made Daniel Descalso shudder!  Daniel Descalso shudders for no man!  I have to assume Desmond’s wrist injury is playing a large part in his down year, but, um, cool, I’ll send him a Get Well card which I will alter to read, “Get Him Off My Team!”

2020 Draft Kit
 
  1. Wacha Wacha says:
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    Nimmo, bader, j polanco, or Olson the better add in h2h obp? Gracias

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Bader

  2. Steve Stevenson says:
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    Reposting from the other post: Does Buehler stay up (in any capacity, SP or RP) next year? Can call him up in my NL-only keeper where I’m pushing for 1st, but if I do I can’t send him back down and would have to drop and lose him forever if he ends up back in the minors next yr.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      He will almost definitely start year in minors

      • Steve Stevenson says:
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        @Grey: Dang it!

        Follow up: do I call him up anyway as he can mos def help me this year and worry about losing him or carrying a dead roster spot in April?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Nah, I wouldn’t call him up

    • LenFuego says:
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      @Steve Stevenson: He certainly could be up for good, but it sure seems like there is a good chance they are calling him up this year just to give him a taste of major league coffee, and then will start him off back at AAA next season. There is also no guarantee that he will get any kind of consistent innings this year. There are a lot of Dodger pitcher mouths to feed, both for this year and next. I would be very reluctant to call him up at this point if I were you.

  3. VictoriaB

    VictoriaB says:
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    First paragraph? DYING.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  4. Alex says:
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    I’m feeling Matt Moore as a streamer @ Chicago. Just need positive points, and I don’t think he’ll get blown up .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I think he’ll be blown to smithereens

      • joemorganhair says:
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        @Grey: Grey, although you do have the power to influence my decisions as to who is in or out of my lineup…… ah who am I kidding okay I’ll bench him.

        You like Kuhl at STL any better?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I don’t

          • joemorganhair says:
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            @Grey:

            Not only did Moore put up 18 points, but my opponent picked him up once I dropped him.

            We all make mistakes

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Damn!

  5. Jason Murray says:
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    Who do you like most between Haniger (vs. LAA) or Bader (vs. PIT) this weekend? Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Bader

  6. rusty miller says:
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    No Robles?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Just went over him this morning

  7. LenFuego says:
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    Sigh. Seeing Desmond in the “Sell” spot just rubs salt in my wound for turning down Josh Donaldson and Francisco Mejia for Desmond and Yelich about 4 weeks ago. Donaldson would have been a huge help this year and Mejia would have been a delicious $1 keeper for next year. Aaarrrggggh.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I hear ya, my bad (prolly)

      • LenFuego says:
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        @Grey: You did agree with me that I should turn it down, but I never blame anyone but myself – it is my team and I make the decisions.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Appreciate that!

    • Michael DePinto says:
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      Yeah Desmond killed me as well this year. I kept him in one league and drafted him over Benintendi in another league. He started on the year on DL and never got going.

      I am dropping him this weekend in both of these leagues for the stretch runs.

      Biggest disappointment other than Betts on either of my teams.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Yeah I hear ya

  8. JoeyBatCave says:
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    10-team H2H categories w/ OPS. I have Semien at MI and Hittertron loves him in BOS/PHI next week, but would you take Ian Happ over him instead? Could also drop Cesar Hernandez and plug Happ in at 2B. Thanks Grey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Take Happ over Semien

  9. flye says:
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    Whoa, there’s another guy in the MLB named Santiago Casilla?!?

    *checks player link*
    *channels Georgina from Get Out*

    No…. no….. no, no, no, no, no, no, no…..

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Hahaha

  10. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    So as for your Alfaro hate inquiry. I don’t hate him in redraft as a streamer, but I do hate him in dynasty as anything more than catching depth. He’s got a lot of unjustified hype IMO. Always hear about the huge raw power, but it doesn’t translate in games to anything more than average pop. Lots of groundballs, and no approach. If you want me to F wit you in dynasty as a catcher the numbers got to be elite. HE SLUGGED .358 IN AAA!! hahaha

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ah, gotcha… Good to know! I must be hearing Philly hype about him, b/c some people seem to be in love

      • LenFuego says:
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        @Grey: I have had Alfaro for the past two years in a very deep 12 keeper league, and I have pretty much come around to Ralph’s thinking on him.

        A reputable and commonly used site rates his raw power at 70/70 on the scouting scale, but that has never really shown up in 8 years of minor league ball and as Ralph noted he was basically a banjo hitter this year at AAA. He most likely will end up as a .235-.250 hitter with 12-16 HRs and 2-3 SBs … like pretty much every other catcher in the league other than the top handful.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          How about this comp: Good Yadier?

          • LenFuego says:
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            @Grey: Yadier is a lifetime .284 hitter … I don’t think Alfaro will even sniff that level. Good Yadier but at .244-.254? OK. Or try: Good Stephen Vogt.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Eek, that’s not exciting at all

              • LenFuego says:
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                @Grey: That might be a bit pessimistic – he does have some upside. If things go well, he could develop into a .270 guy who sneaks over the 20 HR line a several times. But he will never be an OBP guy – the plate discipline is shoddy (lifetime BB% is right around 5%) and major league pitchers tend to know how to exploit that.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  That sounds kinda Yadier-y, but lower average

  11. Michael DePinto says:
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    Coincidentally I planned to ask you about Chirinos today. I have been punting catcher all year and won my division in a H2H league. However, I think it is a good idea to pick one up for the playoffs as every category is usually up for grabs.

    Do you prefer Chirinos, Avila, Grandal or either McCann (Brian or James)?

    League does not count AVG or OBP…hits and walks are categories with R, HR, RBI and SB.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d go Chirinos

  12. Chief Wahoo Smokem Peace Pipe says:
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    Austin Jackson or Gregory off the dl Polanco ROS?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Polanco

  13. Marty Jannetty Was Set Up says:
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    Drop Gallo and/or Kiermeir for Bader and/Jose Martinez?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Gallo for Bader, depends on needs

  14. J-FOH says:
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    TL;DR……you ready for the noise tonight?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yup!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: looking forward to seeing you again…. btw with that yup I’m thinking you didn’t like my joke. You know I’m not really playing fantasy this year.

        • Old School Brother says:
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          @J-FOH: Thanks for the invite

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            OSB, you live in LA? How are we not BFFs?

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: he lives in Texas, hes such a hot tease

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Oh, OSB, you need to move!

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Grey: hes got good looks, is used to dating hot women and no moral compass. He’ll fit in perfect

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    A triple threat!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, can’t wait, driving back from lunch…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: I actually felt bad and read the intro. I must admit Master Bader is a top ten joke. Reminds me of History fo the World Part 1:

            Marcus Vindictus:
            What bait must I use to catch your love? I am your servant.

            Empress Nympho:
            Ah, but the servant waits, while the master baits.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              HA, excellent — now get me my piss!

  15. Count De Monetballl says:
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    The SAGNOF spoiler continues; 37 SB’s in the last 26 days (55 the balance of the season) (including 6 from Reyes) gaining 4 points in the process (laughing like Muttley “he he he he”). Although I am out of it, I think I can get 2 more points in SB’s. I would finally like to drop Odor for Peraza, but have two players on the DL (that aren’t DL’d any more). So to make a roster move, I have to drop three players (and only have 12 pickups on the season remaining); So to get Peraza for steals, I will drop Odor; Salazar (since he’s relegated to the bench); and one of the following (need your opinion) – Betances (looked like crap as Smokey mentioned); Neshek (ratio helper), Darvish (looked like stir fried shit lately); McCullers (not sure what to think of him ROS) or Chad Green (another ratio helper). Thoughts….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Green

    • Benintendo64 says:
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      @Count De Monetballl: you are truly an inspiration to us all who have had forgettable seasons. You do the lords work my friend.