Gregory Polanco broke out Friday night, collecting five hits, scoring two runs, and hitting the go ahead 2-run home run in the 13th inning to win it for the Bucs. Polancopacetic! The Polancomeback (the first of many!) gives his fantasy owners good reason to be excited, too. The home run was his first major league jack and someone better grab that ball and display it at the Carnegie Museum because this kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha! I guess the Fish that Saved Pittsburgh was a Polancod. Oh geez. That was bad, I apologize. After dominating AAA batting .347 with 47 runs, 7 homers, 49 RBI and 15 stolen bases in 62 games, Polanco was off to a slow start in the majors, hitting just 3-for-14 in his first three games. But he busted out in a big way last night, and those who stashed him have got to be feeling real good. Between Giancarlo, George Springer and Mike Trout, I don’t know if have room in my life for another player obsession, you can only stalk so many players in a 24-hour span, and the constant travel and hiding in bushes is exhausting. More importantly I don’t think I have room in my locker for all the Tiger Beat photos I’ll need to cut out and post of him. But I guess I will have to make room for you now Gregory Polanco! Let’s be friends.
Here’s what else happened Friday night in fantasy baseball:
Jason Grilli – 0.1 IP, 1 hit, 3 BB, 2 ER. The Grillimaster looked well done in this one. Grilli was actually credited with a hold while Mark Melancon (0.1 IP, 0 ER, 1 BB, 1 K) got the blown save. Either way I think they both owe Gregory Polanco a beer. Make it a Yuengling!
Starling Marte – 4-for-7, 2-run HR (5). Not to be outdone by the rookie who is basically a harder, better, faster, stronger version of Starling, Marte had his own big day. It’s been fun Starling, but we like this guy better now. It’s been four games, time to get on with your life. Funny that many have projected Polanco to be a rich man’s Starling Marte. That’s got to piss off Marte to hear. Maybe someday Starling Marte can aspire to be a Gregory Polanco-Lite. Or is Starling Marte actually Starling Marte-Lite, whereas Polanco has been the real Starling Marte all along? Whoa. I’m not sure if anything I just wrote made sense.
Giancarlo Stanton – 3-for-5, HR (18). Another 420 foot jack. That swing sure would look nice on my fantasy team…or in my basement. Whoa, that got dark quick. I meant in my basement with all my other Stanton memorabilia, you guys. That’s where I keep it. I’m not chaining anyone up in my basement or anything. Ha! I may be a stalker, Giancarlo, but I’m not a psycho! Sheesh. I’m still going to kidnap you someday though.
Jake Arrieta – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, 1 BB, 0 ER, 9 K. I’m starting to learn about the Secret World of Arrieta. The Google machine inside my computer box tells me this is a movie, but apparently its not about the Cubs pitcher but rather tiny kleptomaniacs. Regardless, Jake has allowed just one run in his past 17.2 IP with an 18/3 K/BB rate. He’s been especially impressive in his last two starts and I could see grabbing him for his start vs. the Marlins next week.
Neil Ramirez – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, 1 BB, 1 ER, 2 K, SV (2). Hector Rondon was experiencing some elbow soreness so Ramirez was given the chance to give Cubs fans even higher blood pressure than the deep dish, kielbasa and Italian beef sandwiches ever could. Might be a decent grab for short term saves in deeper leagues.
Starlin Castro – 1-for-3, 2-run HR (9). Oh my Starlin Castro may not be the most exiting player to own. And you may or may not include him in every trade offer you make because you know no one really wants him. But hey, 9 home runs from your shortstop ain’t so bad. If only he could steal some bases, too.
Danny Santana – 0-for-4, SB (5). Speaking of shortstops who steal bases. Danny studied hard for four years at the SAGNOF School for the Gifted, while Castro spent most of his time there partying and getting laid. It paid off though, Santana has 4 steals in the past week and the two ladies who needs steals in their fantasy leagues are all over him now.
Lance Lynn – 8.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 8 K and his seventh win. Had a perfect game through six innings but to be fair no one was hitting anything in this one. The Cards and Nats combined had just six base runners, with Matt Adams scoring the lone run and that was all Lance needed.
Jordan Zimmermann – 8.0 IP, 3 hits, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K. Extended his scoreless inning streak to 19 before surrendering a run in in third but got the tough luck loss. In his past three starts, JZ has been big pimpin’ lately, pitching 25.0 IP, giving up just 10 hits and one run with a 25/2 K/BB ratio. HOV!
Matt Adams – 2-for-4, HR (4). Bill in ESPN’s “Get Him in Your Lineup” department took Friday afternoon off, so if you forgot to start Adams after he was activated from the DL I can’t blame you. I can blame Bill though. You had one job, Bill!
Drew Hutchison – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 0 ER, 3 K. Drew has been an enigma wrapped in a flour torilla, wrapped in a deep-fried quesadilla and served with spicy chipotle ranch dipping sauce but I think I’m starting understand. Whenever I stream him he is terrible, otherwise he looks dominant. Despite how many times he’s burned me in the past month (three), Drew already has two wins and a 2.65 ERA in June and probably should be owned in more leagues, although I’m not loving his start at Yankee stadium next week.
Justin Masterson – 2.0 IP, 3 hits, 5 ER, 4 BB. I’ll tell you one thing he’s no master of: the strike zone.
Xander Bogaerts – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (6). XAN-DAH BO-GAHTS! And yah, he hit this one wicked hahd. He’s gunna be the best fawkin’ shortstop evah in Bawston sports history and the world because of Teddy Williams, Brady, Larry, Nomah, Sam Addams, Matt Damon and Dunkin Donuts! No one denies this!
Carlos Santana – 1-for-4, HR (8), 2 RBI. He’s batting .286 with two homers and 7 RBI since returning from a concussion. The buy low window is closed but the sell high door has just swung open.
Evan Gattis – 2-for-4, 3-run HR (14). The Vagabond strikes again! They tried to reach Gattis post game for comment but he was off searching the stands for half eaten boxes of popcorn. A guy’s gotta eat!
Jason Heyward – Heyward getting hurt just as he starts to heat up? Ah, yes it must be summer. Jay-Hey left the game after being hit on the hand by a pitch. X-rays revealed a contusion, which means its a minor injury and Jason should return soon. In other words, he’ll be back to bat .200 for three weeks with no power until the team ultimately decides a trip to the DL is for the best.
Kole Calhoun – 2-for-3 and a run as he led off. Yes! Now keep him there.
Jose Quintana – 6.0 IP, 8 hits, 1 BB, 6 ER, 6 K. After giving up 5 ER in the first inning Quintana settled down a bit but with KC scoring 7 runs on 12 hits it might be time to pick those Royals back up. They’re driving Cadillics in their dreams! Even Billy Butler had two hits and what looked like a home run at first glance at the box score. It was not.
Adam Eaton – 2-for-2, 1 run, 1 RBI, 3 BB. Eaton reached base five times. Next time try stealing a base too, will ya!
Todd Frazier – 2-for-4, 2 runs, RBI. Todd is batting .320 with five home runs, 12 runs, 8 RBI, and 2 SB in the past two weeks! *Pro tip: that will help your fantasy team!*
Khris Davis – 1-for-3, HR (11). Does anyone else want to pronounce his name Kish Davish? Just me? I don’t know that “H” is really messing with my head. The “HR”s though, I love.
Alex Cobb – 6.1 IP, 3 hits, 2 BB, 1 ER, 11 K. Don’t call him corny! After what was likely his worst start of the season (4.1 IP, 10 hits, 7 ER), Cobb had given up 16 earned runs in his previous three starts. If you took that opportunity to buy him low, well done, I see big things for Cobb going forward.
Kevin Kiermaier – 2-for-5. Batting .380 with two homers and a stolen base in the past two weeks. With all the playing time K2 gets I’m pretty sure he’s Joe Maddon’s illegitimate son. All bastards in Tampa take the surname Snow, er, I mean Kiermaier. Here’s your chance to impress Maddon this Father’s Day weekend, Kev. He won’t be mad if you suck, but he’ll be very disappointed which is way worse.
Glen Perkins – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, K, SV (17). Now holds a 2.76 ERA and 0.99 WHIP. Glen-Perk-ins! Rob Lowe’s favorite closer! GLEN-PERK-INS! He is LIT-TRALLY my favorite reliever in the cataloged universe. Literally. He is fantastic. He is amazing. And he is great. Glen-Perk-ins!
David Phelps – 6.2 IP, 2 hits, 3 BB, 0 ER, 4 K and his second win. If you had the cajones to stream Phelps for this start you probably wash said cajones in ice water before punching a bear to help you fall asleep. Phelps had given up 16 runs in his previous three starts and gets the Blue Jays next week. I’d probably avoid, but if a bear couldn’t stop you I’m not sure my advice will either.
Tim Lincecum – 6.0 Ip, 3 hits, 2 BB, 2 ER, 6 K. Timmy always likes it when Colorado comes to visit–they bring the good shizz!
Sergio Romo – 0.1 IP, 4 hits, 1 BB, 5 ER, BS. His second loss of the season and both have come at the hands of the Rockies. He can’t handle that stuff like Lincecum can. Sergio did his best Tony Romo impression surrendering five runs in the ninth. Ouch. He’s been so good this year its hard to get mad for blowing a save, but did you have to do it to such epic proportions? The answer is yes, like Daniel Day-Lewis when Sergio gets into a role, he immerses himself in it. He was Chokey McRomo. He even drunk-texted Jessica Simpson last night.
Troy Tulowitzki – 1-for-3. Left the game in the ninth with a toe injury, but x-rays were negative and he’s day-to-day. Grey the Mystic and his soothsaying ways said you might want to BUY Josh Rutledge yesterday, and now might be a better time than any.
Bartolo Colon – 7.1 IP, 4 hits, 1 BB, 2 ER, 7 K and his sixth win. Meanwhile, Bobby Abreu was 4-for-4 with 2 runs and 2 RBI. Hey, 2005 called!…ehh, forget it. The Yankees scouts were watching this one closely and if Colon and Abreu can keep this up they might have a shot at the NYY roster in a couple years (they’re not old enough yet).
Aaron Hill – 3-for-5, run, RBI. Not bad, but I need more power, Tim Taylor! Ho ho ho!
Matt Kemp – 2-for-4, HR (6). His first home run since May 10! Good grief! Well done owners for sticking with him this long. He must have been frustrating to own. Tell me all about it. No really, I’ll give you an email address to sound off to. The Rain Man is batting .429 over the past week with a .556 OBP and now that the Kings are Stanley Cup champs Kemp can relax and get some sleep. I’m with you, Matt, I’m glad hockey is finally over, too.
Elvis Andrus – 2-for-4, 2 SB (16). About time we see some serious speed from Elvis, it’s Now or Never, right!? Make it happen, ‘Drus!
Felix Hernandez – 8.1 IP, 4 hits, 2 BB, 1 ER, 6 K and the loss. The King has got a lot on his mind. There’s a war going on in the North with savages and giants attacking his big ice wall and the only one doing anything to try and stop it basically knows nothing. Meanwhile, there’s a crazy dragon lady to the far West who wants to steal F-Her’s shine and his big pointy chair, because chicks dig furniture. To top it all off, the damn Mariners couldn’t buy a run for Felix with all the silver in Westeros. Hopefully, His Grace, Robinson Cano of House Rocafella should start heating up soon, summer is coming.
Questions? Problems? Complaints? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!