The Mariner bullpen has basically been that round-up ride at your local carnival. It doesn’t look that bad until it totally messes with your vertigo and you end up spewing up kettle corn and other assorted goods for two hours there after. Last year, the Mariners bullpen had a 2.60 ERA, good for tops in the MLB. They also saved 51 games to only 11 blown saves. They were all comfy and coozy like footed pajamas last year, and basically everyone could rely on the decent value of return from drafting Fernando Rodney. Then the year changes to five and the ship went askew. Their bullpen ERA is over 4.30 and are on pace to accumulate 45 saves, and, to date, have already blown 18 saves (behind only three other teams for worst). So let’s just run down the year so far: Rodney was the closer, then he wasn’t the closer, Carson Smith took over, and now it seems as though they are reverting back to 2012 in hopes that Tom Wilhelmsen can right the ship of battered and injured bullpen dreams. Stick around for some tid-bits and bullpen ranks…
- Be nervous if you are a Greg Holland owner and not a Wade Davis cuffer. Holland’s cranky arm isn’y going to get better by rubbing dirt on it. ROS saves prediction: Davis 8, Holland 2.
- Has Brad Boxberger had the quietest 30 save season ever or what?
- It is funny to think about Hector Rondon, but take this on. He didn’t get a save opportunity for 35 games as he was replaced as the Cubs closer. He is on pace to have more saves than both Holland and Chapman. Man I love the closer carousel.
- Lots of shuffling around, and the DonkeyCorn group is a tight battle with it being a close enough from 15-22, all having their say in some way shape or form.
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.