Neftali Feliz is now a starter.  Or is he?  Emphasis on the ‘or.’  Or is it on the ‘is?’  You’ll never know!  Muahahahahaha… Yeah, I don’t think Feliz is going to be a starter.  They got to the World Series the way things were, you change that?  Ogando or O’Day or Oliver or… What’s with the O names?  Here’s a sneak peek of a post title for the first game one of these schmohawks blows a game, “Rangers Say O’Shit.”  Any the hoo!  Washington has said he likes Feliz getting the final three outs.  I think Washington gets what he wants, but I suppose anything’s possible.  For that reason, I’m dropping Feliz down the closer ranks.  The other big loser since the last closer look is Drew Storen.  I think he should be the closer, but the Nats are hesitating about calling him the closer.  If he secures the job, he’ll move back up the charts.  For now, he has some risk.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Mariano Rivera (Rafael Soriano, Joba Chamberlain)
2. Heath Bell (Luke Gregerson, Chad Qualls, Mike Adams)
3. Joakim Soria (Jeremy Jeffress, Robinson Tejeda)
4. Brian Wilson (Sergio Romo, Jeremy Affeldt, Santiago Casilla)


Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

5. Carlos Marmol (Kerry Wood, Andrew Cashner)
6. Jonathan Papelbon (+1) (Daniel Bard, Bobby Jenks)
7. Jose Valverde (+2) (Joaquin Benoit, Ryan Perry)
8. Jonathan Broxton (Hong-Chih Kuo, Matt Guerrier, Kenley Jansen)
9. J.J. Putz (+4) (Sam Demel, Juan Gutierrez)
10. Francisco Rodriguez (Manny Acosta)
11. John Axford (+3) (Takashi Saito, Zach Braddock)
12. Huston Street (Matt Lindstrom, Rafael Betancourt)
13. Andrew Bailey (-2) (Brian Fuentes, Grant Balfour)
14. Chris Perez (+1) (Rafael Perez)
15. Matt Thornton (+6) (Chris Sale, Jesse Crain)
16. Craig Kimbrel (Jonny Venters, George Sherrill)
17. Brad Lidge (+1) (Ryan Madson, Jose Contreras, Danys Baez)
18. Neftali Feliz (-13) (Darren O’Day, Darren Oliver, Alexi Ogando, Mark Lowe)
19. Francisco Cordero (Aroldis Chapman, Nick Masset)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Kevin Gregg– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Brian Roberts in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

20. Joe Nathan (+5) (Matt Capps, Pat Neshek)
21. Ryan Franklin (+2) (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
22. Joel Hanrahan (+2) (Evan Meek)
23. Fernando Rodney (+3) (Hisanori Takahashi, Kevin Jepsen, Scott Downs)
24. Frank Francisco (-2) (Octavio Dotel, Jon Rauch, Jason Frasor)
25. Leo Nunez (-5) (Clay Hensley, Edward Mujica)
26. Drew Storen (-9) (Tyler Clippard, Sean Burnett)
27. Brandon Lyon (Wilton Lopez, Jeff Fulchino)
28. Kevin Gregg (Koji Uehara, Mike Gonzalez)
29. Brandon League (David Aardsma)
30. Kyle Farnsworth (Jake McGee, J.P.Howell, Waitress of the Month at local Hooter’s)

  1. Brandon Lyon is too low. He was solid last year down the stretch and Wilton Lopez isn’t going to take the job… Is it because he’s on the Astros?

  2. Giant JJ says:

    Grey, I’m using your ranked tiers as my cheat sheet. At 1st base under the last tier called “Highlighted”, you have Justin Smoak (269) listed in front of Gaby Sanchez (179). I think I understand what you are doing by ranking those two players in opposite order of what their draft number would suggest, but I just want to be clear. You put Smoak ahead of Sanchez because you prefer Smoak, but you think he should be drafted 90 picks after Sanchez because you think Smoak will be available that much later than Sanchez. Am I correct? Thanks.

  3. Chuck Norris says:

    Disagree with #30…the hooters waitress is no longer in line to back up farnsworth after he punched her when she ran out to the mound to give him his wings…

    but seriously, do you have concerns with kimbrel? the kid has electric stuff, but do a possible timeshare and/or darkhorse sherrill lower his value to brain freeze territory?

  4. Billy says:

    Who should i take in my minor draft today; Mike Minor or Michael Pineda


  5. Spartacus says:

    @Billy: Michael Pineda

  6. Spartacus says:

    @Grey: Your post on Carp gives me pause on whether to keep him or not.

    $350 cap keeper league mixed 11 teams (can keep 9 guys) OBP:

    $8 Carp or $24 Haren or even a $1 Sale?: I picked up Chris Sale late last year for a buck and if I drop him someone will draft him for sure in our minors draft.

    My two for sure pitcher keepers are Lester for $16 and CC for $25.
    Offensive keepers: Dunn $31, Utley $29, Hill $2, Grandy $15, Holliday $34, Pence $24

    What do you think?

  7. pubscout says:

    uh-oh. cain scratched with el-blow inflammation…

  8. Commish Cauda says:

    Quick Hit…Deep mixed points league

    Macier Izturis or Alberto Gonzalez for MI bench depth?

  9. Commish Cauda says:

    @Billy: Pineda

  10. Elan says:

    Grey, I’d argue that Dave Robertson is ahead of Joba on the next-to-close list.

  11. ichirosan says:

    About Feliz… isn’t he in more or less the same position Adam Wainwright was after the Cardinals won the World Series? Then again, he’s in pretty much the same position as Papelbon (or God forbid, Joba or Brandon Morrow) when he said he was going to start, but I wouldn’t completely rule it out.

  12. NewBVick says:

    Wouldn’t Feliz have greater value as a starter than as a closer?

  13. Wilsonian says:

    @pubscout: I wouldn’t worry TOO much about that just yet. This is the kind of thing that they always scratch someone for in Spring Training, but they might not in the season, or might just push him back a day. I’d wait to get more info first, it doesn’t look too serious.

  14. Howie Met Your Mother says:

    No love for Jordan Walden in LA-A?

  15. TJ says:

    I like that each closer has their backups listed after the name.

    But is there any way you can maybe give us the top 5 or 10 MR guys you think will end up with the most saves by the end of the year?
    Kind of looking for some guidance on my speculative picks at the end of the draft…

  16. Not sure how you can have Hanrahan and his 100k season from last year ranked 22. Give an Iowa kid some love, will ya?

  17. wilsoniam says:

    can you rank these 5 SP in a KEEPER format?

    latos, hanson, weaver, hamels, kersh?


  18. Wilsonian says:

    @wilsoniam: Kershaw, Weaver, Hommy, Hamels, Latos.

  19. Buddo Chezuski says:

    kershaw, hanson, hamels, weaver, latos

  20. Eddy says:


    Do you think Chapman is going to have a secure hold on the 8th inning?

  21. Wilsonian says:

    @Wilsonian: @Buddo Chezuski: I would also say that the middle three are interchangeable as they’re pretty lateral (in my opinion), and I like Latos, I just want to see what he can do after his HUGE innings jump last season.

  22. Wade8813 says:

    Grey – what do the green/red numbers in parenthesis mean?


    More value for his team or for a fantasy team?

  23. jim says:

    Listened to XM radio interview with Texas manager Washington, and after that I truly believe Feliz will be starting this year. I have my big money draft this weekend, who the texas reliever I should go get?

  24. mr baseball says:

    #31 – Todd Jones

    anytime Todd Jones wants to come back he always has a reserve spot on a Closer Look

  25. mr baseball says:

    Maybe not – Kyle Farnsworth might be ranked below him

  26. Buddo Chezuski says:

    @Wilsonian: Agreed 100%

  27. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Craigo: He has a 4+ ERA on his career and the Astros, yeah. He’s fine, but I wouldn’t get carried away.

    @Giant JJ: Smoak has more upside/downside. He’s ranked in the 300 where I’d draft him.

    @Chuck Norris: More worried about Venters stealing some saves.

    @Billy: Minor

    @Spartacus: You have to keep one? Then Carp.

    @pubscout: Thanks for the heads up!

    @Commish Cauda: Alberto

    @NewBVick: For us and the Rangers, not at earning saves though.

    @Howie Met Your Mother: I’m not listing everyone.

    @TJ: If a guy is towards the bottom of this list, their backups have a better shot at getting saves.

    @IowaCubs: Meek looms too large.

    @Eddy: Yes, and get 10 saves.

    @Wade8813: Change since last month in their ranking.

    @jim: It’s between O’Day and Ogando.

    @mr baseball: Ha

  28. Stephen says:

    @Billy: Pineda is rated higher by everyone. More hype too in case you want to flip him soon.

    re:Feliz: He’s more than Joba ever was. Joba never had multiple plus-plus pitchers; Feliz has a plus-plus fastball and curveball. Brandon Morrow has always struggled with control. Feliz is more in the Adam Wainwright situation than the other plays mentioned.

  29. wilsoniam says:

    grey, do you agree w/ the above rankings in a keeper?

    kershaw, hanson, hamels, weaver, latos

  30. DoubleDouble says:

    In a 6×6 league w holds as a cat, how much do you devalue closers? For example would you want a $6 marmol or trade him for a $12 pence?
    ($260, keep 6).

    Would you value someone like gregorson (reliable holds guy) as much as marmol in this format?

  31. Commish Cauda says:

    Follow-up on my previous question…where does Alberto Gonzalez rank with these deep mixed bench options?

    Pods, Alberto Gonzalez, Betemit, Will Rhymes, Juan Miranda

  32. Grey

    Grey says:

    @DoubleDouble: I’d take Pence. Yeah, it devalues closers.

    @Commish Cauda: Pods (assuming you might need steals), Miranda, Alberto, Betemit…

  33. papasmurf says:

    Too bad Jake McGee is a lefty… but I think he still ends up leading the Rays in saves.

    In Billy Bob Thornton Swing Blade voice “Me likes dem donkeycorns mm hmmm.” Gotse two of dem on my roster.

  34. Mike Adamson says:

    This has probably been answered previously but how does the donkey remove the wool cap?

  35. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Mike Adamson: A donkeycorn removes the wool cap. A donkeycorn has opposable thumbs.

  36. Mike Adamson says:

    @36 I see. I used to believe that a strong grasp of statistical analysis would give one a real leg up in fantasy baseball but these days I’m thinking that a knowledge of eastern religions and philosophies is probably more important.

    FWIW, if Lidge is a donkeycorn then I will eat that wool cap.

  37. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Mike Adamson: The fact that you’ll eat a wool cap over Lidge’s donkeycorniness proves how donkeycorny he is.

  38. Salty Balty says:

    Want a laugh? Go read AJ []ass’ article on espn re: Carlos Pena. I picked out 4-5 errors in logic/reasoning in 1 brief read-through. I’m not sure why, but he makes me angry. How does that clown have my dream job? Seriously, does his father work for espn or something?

  39. Wilsonian says:

    Got a draft question for ya…

    Just kept Fielder, Longoria, Wright, Kemp and CarGo in my 8 Team H2H league. There are only about 5-6 SPs in your top 20 off the board. I have 8th and 9th pick (which are technically 48th and 49th pick). Would that be too early to go after a top tier SP, or should I continue to stick with bats and build an arsenal of arms later?

    The prospective arms that will be available with my first pick are (however I assume some will be gone by my pick): Lincecum, Adverb, Kershaw, Weaver, JJ, Verlander, Hamels, Oswalt, Grienke, Price, Latos, Buccholz.

  40. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Salty Balty: If you have anything you want me to pass onto him this weekend in Arizona, let me know.

    @Wilsonian: I’d grab one SP.

  41. Salty Balty says:


  42. Wilsonian says:

    @Grey: looking hard at Kershaw, as I’m assuming Timmy and Adverb will be gone. Thanks man.

    *side note: funny thing is I had Lincecum, Kershaw, JJ, Verlander, Hamels last season and didn’t keep a one of ’em…wonder why I won the league?

  43. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Salty Balty: I’ll see what I can do.

    @Wilsonian: Yeah, seriously.


  44. Your league is too small says:

    Be more impressed with yourself when you win something bigger

  45. Wilsonian says:

    @Your league is too small: my league is played with family and a few friends in a small town, thanks for being an ass, be more impressed with yourself when you figure out that you don’t have to be a prick to make it in life…oh, and it’s one of a few leagues I play in, the others are 12 and 16, are those big enough for ya?

  46. Cookie'sMonsters says:

    You have Marmol as your #1 closer in your pre-season rankings, why have things changed?

  47. Yep, I said it.... says:

    @Grey: which two of these guys do you think will get the most holds this year? Acosta, Jeffress, Howell, Joel Peralta, Frasor, and Arredondo. Yes, i realize this may be the most boring question of the day.

    Good luck in Arizona! Do you have a link for those of us without satellite radio to follow the draft online? Rock on!

  48. Yep, I said it.... says:

    Can I add Contreras to the list above? And bonus points for the guys who will contribute to other scoring categories such as K/9, WHIP, and perhaps get a save or two during the year. Thanks!

  49. Russ says:

    @ Grey – Uehara is still the “official” closer in Balt.. until mid-May when he hits the DL for a strained sphinkter muscle.

  50. Sam says:

    @ Grey: How do you drop Feliz so far in the rankings if you’re assuming he’s only going to close? He was arguably a top 5 closer last year and there’s no sign he’s going to regress. 18 seems like quite a drastic drop, and I’m just curious why you’re all of a sudden so bearish…

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