This marks my 100th post here at the Razzball baseball blog and I must say how thankful I am that I have a home at a blog where I can provide below average fantasy baseball analysis while referencing Jules Verne, Scientology, Jon Snuh and ayahuasca all in the same post. It’s been a wild couple a years and I outlasted many a writer I didn’t think I’d outlast. Remember when the Guru disappeared in a van? Remember Razzball TV on the Radio? And what ever happened to Kenyon!? That guy was hilarious. I remember when Grey first found me. I was trying to get my Harry Potter erotica/fan fiction off the ground and writing signs for homeless people to make a quick buck. “Why Lie I Need A Beer,” ever see that one? Yep, that’s a Dan Pants original. Grey said he could use my talents to express undying love for shortstops named Xander and tell people they shouldn’t own two catchers. The rest is history, folks. Special thanks to Grey, Rudy, and Jay. Not Tehol though–[expletive deleted] that guy. But enough about me, you’re here for the sub-par fantasy advice. The New York Mets (lol, Joakim Noah!) called up rookie Brandon Nimmo last Sunday and after going 0-for-4 in his debut, he’s hit safely in his past five games. He’s led off for NY the past two games and responded in a big way last night going 2-for-3 with a 3-run home run (a 440 foot shot). Curtis Granderson remains hobbled and with Michael Conforto “working things out” in the minors Brandon has been given an opportunity to shine at the top of the order. He slashed .328/.409/.508 with five homers and five steals in 63 games AAA this year. If you are looking for an outfielder in NL-Only and deeper mixed leagues you might consider finding Nimmo on your waiver wire.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Brandon Maurer – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, SV (1). So we all though Ryan Buchter, who pitched a scoreless 8th inning and struck out two, would be first up for save chances, but Manager Andy Green had other ideas as he anointed Maurer the closer before Friday’s game. Managers hate lefty closers, methinks? I know this because I have a second sense, aka ESP. I gained it by being a Level II Operating Thetan in the church of Scientology. Regardless of your faith (wrong as it may be), not sure I’d bail on Buchter just yet (he may slaughter you) but you should probably grab Maurer everywhere you need saves. And if you’re interested in gaining supernatural abilities simply by harnessing the natural M.E.S.T. around you? I have some literature I think you should read.
Wil Myers – 2-for-3, HR (19), SB (12). Wil “I Passed the Other L to the Player on My Left” Myers is my Overwatch partner and my fantasy hero. He’s got 2 homers and 2 steals in the past week. Pro Tip* that will help your fantasy team! Doode is OP!
Alcides Escobar – 2-for-4, run. He’s finally hitting, but he’s not really stealing enough for me to recommend him. So I guess I won’t!
Odubel Herrera – 2-for-4, HR (9), SB (12). Odubel likes his slam & legs wit-out onion, but wit extra whiz.
Jeremy Hellickson – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 6 K, W. I feel dirty recommending Hellboy, but that could also be that I havent showered in four days. Who has the time, amirite? Jeremy gets the Braves next week and I could see streaming him there.
Cesar Hernandez – 2-for-4, run, SB (4). Hail, Cesar! was not my favorite Coen Bros. film, but he’s a decent middle infielder option right now as he’s hitting over .500 with a stolen base over the past week.
Michael Fulmer – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 10 K, 8th win. I tried to justify not getting Lucas Giolto to myself by rationalizing that none of these rookie pitchers are ever that good. Then I look at Fulmer’s 8-2 record. I look at his 2.17 ERA, 1.09 WHIP and 70/25 K/BB ratio. I look at these stats and I cry.
Cameron Maybin – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBI, SB (9). If Justin Upton produced like Cameron Maybin I’d still have my right pinky finger and I wouldn’t owe $2,000 to the Yakuza!
Victor Martinez – 2-for-5, 2 HR, 6 RBI. Hitting .346 with 4 homers and 11 RBI in the past week! Someone’s been feeding their thetans extra well this month! They love hot dogs!
Anthony DeSciafani – 6.2 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Oh hey, he was a BUY! He’s been quite good rocking a 1.78 ERA, 1.29 WHIP through five starts. JB told you to Marry, and Grey said to Boff, so I guess that leaves me to recommend a kill? But I’m not a violent man…I will hold my judgement until after his start at the Cubs next week.
Trevor Plouffe – 3-for-4, HR (7). His seventh homer of the season but just my first “Plouffe goes the dynamite!” of the year!
Ian Desmond – 3-for-5, HR (15). Dez is slashing .323/.376/.535 with 15 homers, 52 RBI and 14 SB. Well, someone struck the jackpot drafting him. I think the last time I referenced Desmond in a post I made a LOST reference, which I can’t do now because know one knows what that is anymore. You millennials and your bad TV. Game of Thrones doe!?
Carlos Gomez – 1-for-4, HR (4), 2 RBI. No seriously, you guys, no spoilerz, but Game of Throooooones.
A.J. Reed – 1-for-2. A hit is a hit! The first of many! Alert the presses! I told you to BUY last week! Grey told you to BUY this week. Everyone overreact! This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!
Julio Teheran – 6.2 IP, 11 hits, 5 ER, 6 K. Not helping his case to be traded to [insert your home team here]. But perhaps that’s the Braves plan all along!
Marcell Ozuna – 4-for-6, HR (17), 3 RBI. If I was looking for Stanton’s power, Ozuna’s locker would be the first place I check. I just so happened to be camped out in there waiting for Giancarlo to shower.
Jose Fernandez – 1-for-1, 2 RBI. Pinch hit double in the 12th. I know, I know, this has zero effect on your fantasy team, but it’s still pretty freakin’ sweet!
A.J. Ramos – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, K. After converting 33 consecutive save chances, A.J. waits until the Marlins sign Fernando Rodney (1.0 IP, BB, 2 K), to give up a game tying home run in the ninth. Rodney also hasn’t blown a save all year so this is becoming a very interesting situation indeed. Way to mess with a guys psyche, trade for his replacement. I don’t see Ramos losing the gig after one hiccup but it’s worth watching closer than the Game of Thrones finale. OMG you guys, Game of Throoooones! All hail da King in da Norf!
James Loney – 3-for-5, HR (4), 3 RBI. Asdrubel Cabrera hit 2 home runs in this one as well, just in case you thought I was giving Loney any credit at all. I’ve said it before, James Loney is a first baseman for people who have given up on life. People like me.
Kris Bryant – 1-for-3, HR (23), SB (3). Leads the league in ding dongs and has hit five in the past week! THE POWER OF KRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF KRIS COMPELS ME!
C.J. Cron – 2-for-5, Grand Slam HR (7). Cron Air! He’s hitting close to .400 over the past week! Remember when he was a potential 30 homer hitter!? Me niether!
Mookie Betts – 3-for-5, run, SB (13). He’s one of my favorite people in the world. I apologize to my real-life human girlfriend, but you will always be second to Mookie. What? It’s my 100th post and I’ll mention all the Red Sox I want so deal with it! Oh hey, Xander, we still on for tapas on Sunday?
Brock Holt – 2-for-4, 2 runs as he returned from the DL. BROCK HOLT! Brock doesn’t offer much beyond average and runs, but he’s been known to get hot and is eligible at a number of positions. Would bang.
Steven Wright – 5.0 IP, 8 hits, 4 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, W. When your ace is a knuckle baller. When your knuckle baller has to pitch in the rain. When you can’t stop talking in memes. When your real life human girlfriend is upset you won’t stop talking in memes so you send her a meme.
David Ortiz – 3-for-4, HR (19). His 522nd home run, now 19th all-time passing Teddy Williams. Do you know who that is? Big Papi is slashing .342/.435/.684 this year. Why are you leaving us, David? Why!? I will miss your hugs and homers. We neeeeeed you!
Sonny Gray – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 7 ER, BB, 4 K. When the sky ain’t so sunny.
Wade LeBlanc – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, BB, 5 K, W. Le’Wow! Wade has now pitched two quality outings since joining the Mariners rotation. I’d be hard-pressed to recommend him, but if you’re into being hard-pressed, you can pick him up and I’ll call you panini! Zing. I will see myself out.
Bud Norris – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 8 K, W. Okay, he’s not Clayton Kershaw, but this Bud’s for you, friend. This little piece of America right here might be worth a look. He’s got a 1.78 ERA since returning to the starting rotation, and now he’s pitching for LA, who have a slightly better offense than the Braves, to be fair. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
Trevor Bauer – 5.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, W. Not scheduled to start until Saturday, Bauer came into this one in the 15th inning after the Injians had exhausted the rest of their bullpen and he managed to get himself the win. Hopefully you didn’t have him sitting on your bench! I did. It’s all part of leading a miserable life. Trevor is rocking the 1.48 ERA, 0.94 WHIP with four wins over the past month. He needs to be owned at this point.
Marcus Stroman – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 6 K. Stroman has been been pretty awful in between his flashes of dominance. Some might see inconsistency and huge risk, but I see a buy low opportunity! I live dangerously like that. Let’s go with ketchup and mustard on that dog, please! I’m feeling adventurous.
Carlos Santana – 2-for-8, HR (17). Smooth Santana hit the go-ahead home run off Darwin Barney. Ryan Goins also pitched an inning in this one. It was all part of the plan to stretch the Indians winning streak to 14 games without making it look obvious! Which is important because if Taylor and Dorn can’t get along and Vaughn doesn’t get his act together, Phelps is going to move the team to Miami! Gasp!
Lonnie Chisenhall – 5-for-8. Grey told you to BUY Lonnie and I agree! You also don’t see a lot of 5-for-8 nights! LC’s hitting .483 with 3 homers in the past week. What a wacky game 19 inning baseball-a-palooza this was, folks! And how fitting on America’s bday weekend. I hope this was a fitting 100th post, over-the-internet friends. Time to drink too much domestic beer, set something on fire and eat enough hot dogs to make me sick. I can think of nothing more baseball, or more America, than that.
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
