J.J. Wetherholt for Fantasy Baseball

As you might’ve heard on our last podcast, August 15th is the target date for when teams can call up prospects and have just the right amount of service time manipulation. The Goldilocks of service time manipulation. See, prospects cannot exceed 45 days in the majors and be eligible for the Rookie of the Year award, which means teams can’t win extra draft picks. The “That’s nice for you, but how are you helping me again?” of awards. Don’t expect the floodgates to open on August 15th, but the best rookies of Triple-A will start to trickle in. Bubba Chandler, Andrew Painter, Samuel Basallo, Bryce Eldridge, Justin Crawford and Owen Caissie could all see promotions, but, aside from Eldridge, they might also be there to breathe in the Big League Air (found in empty Big League Chew pouches), and not necessarily play every day. How’swether, J.J. Wetherholt might be promoted and play every day. Wetherholt headlined Itch’s last Stash List, and he was 6th on the preseason’s FYP Ranks. This year Wetherholt’s flown through two stops of the minors and looks like a future 25/25/.300 hitter. No Cardinals prospect has ever disappointed before either. What’s that, Masyn Winn called and said, “Jordan Walker,” and that was all he said? That’s a very weird phone call. Did he sound like he was scared? Happy? Sad? You couldn’t decipher his tone? Hmm, oh well! No idea what that means. Wetherholt should be up in less than two weeks, and is the top rookie stash for the final six-ish weeks, when playing time and talent are factored in. Masyn Winn is on the phone again and said, “Nolan Gorman was supposed to be as good as Jordan Walker?” Why would he say that? That’s very odd. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! This post was released a week early for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:

BUY

Kyle Higashioka – This is about him being hot over the last week, so don’t get me wrong, but his last two years floored me like the Jersey Shore t-shirt, “1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, Floor.” Last year in 84 games? He hit 17 homers! I must’ve mentally blocked out last year. Damaged by Jordan Walker. Hold on Masyn Winn’s on the phone again, “What now? Randy Arozarena, Adolis Garcia, Sandy Alcantara, Zac Gallen, Luke Weaver, Lane Thomas were all failed on the Cards? Well, some of them are failed again! Okay!” Geez, that guy.

Andrew Vaughn – Don’t forget the ReinsdorfAnon conspiracy theory that White Sox players will excel once away from the White Sox. “Free me!” That’s Luis Robert Jr.

Spencer Horwitz – Was going to just list Horwitz down below with Peguero, but the portmanteau PegHorwitz had me worried about the Cancel Police.

Lenyn Sosa – If Lenyn was a true patriot, he’d get a hit for every teammate and stand at 1st base for two days waiting for bread.

Romy Gonzalez – I googled “Romy Gonzalez Statcast” and Google was like, “Why?” After a little back and forth, I got there and Romy’s Statcast doesn’t look that bad, though, yeah, I don’t expect a ton aside from average and runs, if hitting at the top of the order.

Warming Bernabel – Already gave you a Warming Bernabel fantasy. It was ablaze!

Ernie Clement – One quick note about the Pirates and Jays appearing here, they’ve been hot, but both teams had the benefit of burning the midnight oil with Warming in Coors.

Daniel Schneemann – Good news is if you grab him, he’s been hot. The bad news is if you have Schneemann and Horwitz on your team, someone’s gonna ask you to do their taxes.

Liover Peguero – Went to look at his minor league numbers and they’re fine. One thing I did notice is he played for the Missoula Paddleheads, which gave me a hoot. They’re naming teams after 1950’s euphemisms for drug addicts now. “Yeah, see, my pops was a Paddlehead, see, and he used to use the belt on me.”

Colson Montgomery – Just gave you my Colson Montgomery fantasy. It was written while going outside so my solar calculator would work.

Wenceel Perez – One of the hottest bats on the 7-day Player Rater, and to that I say: Cool.

Max Muncy – This is OG Muncy. Max is the Municest.

Matt Wallner – He would be an All-Star representative and a 35-homer hitter if he was on another team. Sure, prolly the Yankees or Rockies are the only two, but still, he can be great, if Baldelli would just let him play.

JJ Bleday – Welcome back to the major leagues, JJ Bleday, he’s hitting homers again and plays in a great stadium! Why again was he demoted?

Luke Keaschall – Just gave you my Luke Keaschall fantasy. It had one foot out the door.

Eli White – Nothing says, “This egg salad is a little too spicy. Is that paprika?” like the name Eli White.

Kyle Isbel – Refreshed memory to the Royals’ lineup just now, and the bottom four are so hilariously awful, but, yes, Isbel has been hot.

Joey Loperfido – His BABIP was .500 after 24 games, and that got me wondering, what was the highest BABIP after a month of games, and I found something better than that answer, I found that it wasn’t worth my time to try to search for it.

Blake Perkins – Took over center for Chourio and has speed, though he did homer a couple of times in the last week. You can also abbreviate his name to Bla-Pe, then walk around your house saying Bla-Pe, and have your family worry about you.

Eduardo Rodriguez – This is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes Waymo Headquarters.

Charlie Morton – This is also a Streamonator call. “How much is it for one of your self-driving cars to go with me to the Drive-In, and stay after to chat about the film?”

Cade Smith – He’s been solid all year, and now getting saves. Was expecting to find him higher on the season-long Player Rater but he was around 250th overall when I looked, and that was by Marcell Ozuna. Woof.

Phil Maton – I can’t hear this guy’s name without thinking, “What if my Maton is already full?”

David Bednar – If I were Cashman, I would’ve told Aaron Boone this week, “If you use Devin again as the closer, you’re fired,” but I honestly don’t know if Boone can do anything to get fired. My theory is Cashman’s afraid if Boone is fired, and that doesn’t change things, then they might actually start looking at Cashman.

Blake Treinen – Sometimes I think it gets lost between what I want and what actually matters. I wouldn’t make Treinen the Dodgers’ closer, but Dave Roberts seems to want him in that role. Alex Vesia could get saves too, but he’s a lefty.

Justin Topa – Twins’ closer is: Whoever is in the direct eye line of the bullpen coach when the bullpen phone rings in the 8th to warm for the 9th. Who is more desirable than the DBags’ and Orioles’ closer.

Calvin Faucher – Seems to be the favorite in Miami for saves. Not the favorite in Miami for grills. That’s Miami Grill.

Sean Newcomb – Meet the Newcomb, same as the old boss! (If the old boss was a very iffy closer.)

JoJo Romero – There doesn’t seem to be a consensus closer in St. Louis. Could be Riley O’Brien or could be Romero, who could actually be a decent closer for the final seven weeks. You could say he’s very close to being great, or even JoJo’s at the crossroads…

SELL

Austin Riley – With trade deadlines past, this is no longer about trading. Sure, if this is a keeper league, then by all means go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and analyze some trades. But this is about dropping a player from your team, as in vamos’ing your baggage while yelling boo like you’re a bellhop at a haunted hotel. Austin Riley sucks; lose him in redrafts. I don’t even know if he’ll be in the top 100 overall next year; his last two years have been awful. Member we used to talk about how the Braves were ripping off their young players by signing them to long-term contracts? Who got the last laugh? “Sign me for eight years for twelve dollars? Fine, I’m only playing well in one year of those eight.”

Lawrence Butler – I traded Butler away in one league about three weeks ago. You might be thinking, “Grey, how do you stay so prescient? What is your secret? Witchcraft?” Well, see, the thing is, I traded him for Michael Busch, who is one of the few guys who’s been worse over the last month. So, you can drop Butler (and Busch) in most shallower mixed leagues. Of course, if this was a keeper league, I wouldn’t trade Lawrence Butler for Fritos feet cologne, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and analyze some trades.