Mets Smoke deGrom’s Shoulder And Pull It Once Tender

June 17, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 319 Comments

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Sorry if the title is a little NC-17. NC being North Carolina, baby! A little too sour? Blame the vinegary sauce, like a middle-aged man at a tailgate party, you over-dabbed. So, Jacob deGrom is the greatest pitcher of all-time. Yesterday, he went 3 IP, K’d eight and got one more by fly out, lowering his ERA to 0.54. The only problem is the Mets’ training staff is the world’s worst. World’s worst trainers are in, conveniently enough, a train going 170 MPH. The world’s best starter is on a mound going 101 MPH. At some point, they’re going to intersect and bad things will happen. On May 9th, it was right side discomfort. On June 11th, it was right flexor tendinitis. On June 16th, they’re saying right shoulder soreness. Can we just all assume they have no idea? Jacob deGrom will be great, if healthy, but it doesn’t seem like that’s possible right now. About the only thing he has in common with most starters is they’re injured. By August, each team is going to have one starter, two probables and two doubtfuls. By September, it’s going to be one starter and five scarecrows in the team’s jersey, and one scarecrow is going to pull his elbow tendon by mid-month and the team is going to say he’s day-to-day. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Hey Zeus” Sanchez Hoping To Bring The Thunder For Marlins

June 16, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 421 Comments

by: Grey

Reading from the Book of Revelations in the 2021 Razzball Draft Guide, “When the ocean’s water rises–”
Job, “Why ocean’s water? Isn’t just ‘water rises’ enough?”
“I’m reading, not writing, and, when I’m done, I will smite you so hard you’ll wish you never corrected God about His word.”
Job stops chewing gum for a moment to say, “Heard.”
Continuing, “…When the ocean’s water rises in Miami, there will be two guys able to walk to work, Jesus Aguilar and Jesus Sanchez.”

There’s been a few hitters flat-out raking in the minors, and Jesus Sanchez is one of the top ones. In 33 games in Triple-A, he hit nine homers and .349. He’s not just a power hitter, though he is that with 70-grade power, he’s begun to hit for contact this year. Going into this year, as Prospect Itch said, “Sanchez swings at everything and always has. A corner outfielder with ideal size and crazy bat speed from the left side, he’ll get a lot of chances and have a long time to figure out pitch selection. More chances than Grey if I ever bumped into him.” What the heck, man? Pitch selection can come at any time, and Sanchez only just turned 23. He might’ve found his swing, and when to, uh, swing. Grab him in all leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Justout Bieber

June 15, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 544 Comments

by: Grey

Shane Bieber is headed to the IL with a shoulder strain. Turns out his shoulder was being held in its socket with Spider Tack. Shane Bieber being touched up by the Mariners now makes more sense. Still not great to hear. I’m sure his owners would take a bad outing vs. an unknown-length-of-time IL stint. These injuries rarely just fix themselves, and most times they’re never themselves, until an offseason rest sesh. By the way, is anyone ever says “sesh” in any context in real life, you’re allowed to punch them. Those are the rules. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Toronto 8 HRs in Boston To Show They Ain’t Dunedin

June 14, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 537 Comments

by: Grey

Welcome to the class where we discuss the planets — Science class? I don’t know, I’m just your substitute teacher, Mr. Albright. We’re going to put aside your syllabus, and teach you how all planets revolve Vladimir Guerrero Jr.‘s planet, IncomingTripleCrownium. Yesterday, IncomingTripleCrownium went 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and hit his 21st homer, as he hits .344. Does planet Daddy Vladdy revolve around IncomingTripleCrownium, and how is that possible since IncomingTripleCrownium is an offshoot of Daddy Vladdy? I don’t know, which is why I’m merely a substitute, and was told I would never be hired for a full-time position. IncomingTripleCrownium spins on its axis, without an absurd amount of spin, a totally natural spin, and that gave way to a Semien explosion not seen since a 14-year-old boy spent a little too long in the bathroom with Marcus Semien (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs), hitting his 15th homer. Hey, just had a thought, whatever happened with George Springer? Never the hoo! The next big orbital sphere outside the IncomingTripleCrownium gravitational pull was two homers from Teoscar Hernandez (3-for-6, 6 RBIs, 9th and 10th homer). I already took the L on my Teoscar schmohawk post, though, if being honest, I think I might’ve taken that L a bit prematurely. Guess we’ll see. Or we already saw. See? Saw? Get off the bench, Miguel Sano, I’m trying to get down! Next up on the flow chart of planets moving around IncomingTripleCrownium is Lourdes Gurriel Jr. (3-for-5, 2 runs and his 6th homer). Please get hot, Lou-Gu-Ju, please. Then, if we’re counting orbital rings, like the toilet in my college dorm, Bo Bichette (4-for-5, 5 runs, 3 RBIs) grabbed a slam (13) and legs (8), and is it going to be weird when I try to draft two Blue Jays hitters in the first five picks next year? Finally, two smaller planets, that many confuse for large rocks, Rowdy Tellez (1-for-1, 2 RBIs, and his 4th homer) and Cavan Biggio (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 5th homer. To celebrate Biggio’s return, his father Craig Biggio called him after the game to tell him, “Stick your elbow pad into a pitch or change the name on your jersey.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Shhh – India Is My Mum Buy Of The Week

June 11, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 388 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Everyone’s always claiming world famous fried chicken, or world famous chili or world famous BBQ. If I had a restaurant, I’d do something that no one else is claiming… “Come on down for our world famous cauliflower — you like cauliflower sometimes? Well, you’re gonna love these florets!” Can I make extraordinarily tasty cauliflower? No, not at all! But it’s all about expectations. That’s Jonathan India: World famous cauliflower, because it’s about expectations. By the way, Jarred Kelenic was trying to make world famous pizza, what a dope! Jonathan India went very late in deep league drafts, then he sorta was….Well, he just was, and no one cared. In April, India hit one homer and .239. In May, he once again existed: 2 HRs, .220. In June, India got hot. *long elaborate Bollywood dance* With time to make adjustments and less pressure than, say, maybe a Jarred Kelenic, India began to hit everything in the zone, and hard. He’s on everything with O- and Z-Swing% falling in line and Barrel% going way up. India also has a solid Sprint Speed, so he could get into some steals. Look at us, India and I just exceeding very low expectations! Now, I just need a name for my cauliflower restaurant. The Floret Florist? The Merchant of Florets? You Cauliflower, I Called It Delicious? Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Zack Trucks The Braves With His 12(K)-Wheeler

June 11, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 235 Comments

by: Grey

This is an excerpt of a phone call Razzball intercepted during Thursday’s afternoon games. Since both states involved are two-party consent, we cannot reveal who recorded the call, but it rhymes with Fray Mallbright. Here, let’s listen in:

“Hello, this is the CEO of Spider Tack, the world’s stickiest, gummiest, craziest, shouldn’t-be-used-on-a-baseballiest stuff. Who’s calling?”
Our Commissioner Rob Manfred disguised his voice so he sounded raspy, and said, “I’m Kathleen Turner. I was wondering if you would sell me 7,000 cases of your Spider Tack, and send them individually to pitchers’ homes?”
“Body Heat’s Kathleen Turner? Romancing the Stone’s Kathleen Turner? Not to get all James Lipton, but I am a huge fan of your–”
“Okay, fanboy, if I get you 7,000 addresses, will you send the Spider Tack?”
“Can I ask why you want the Spider Tack sent to pitcher’s homes?”
Rob dropped the Kathleen Turner rasp and said, “So, we can bust them and they’ll all lose their arbitration cases!” Then cackled evilly for five minutes, finally adding, “Deal?”

Have you heard this latest? Pete Alonso has accused Rob Manfred of manipulating the ball, depending on the free agent class. He said it’s a fact. I’m 100% here for conspiracy lunacy. Rob Manfred, evil genius or dumbf*ck? So hard to say! Yesterday, Zack Wheeler (8 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.29) continued his fantastic season, and it appears he has no additional spin on his 4-seamer. His expected ERA is 2.55, and xBA is .202. Also, his velocity is up on his fastball (97+ MPH) and his 81 MPH curve has a .119 xBA, which is hilarious. Lots still can happen, but Wheeler looks like a Cy Young candidate, and top five starter in baseball, assuming he doesn’t get a mysterious package from Kathleen Turner. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mets Make Harvey Trade Batsuit For Hazmatt Suit

June 10, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 343 Comments

by: Grey

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First off, can we talk about Mason Williams? Does he show up each day at the park wearing a giant paint can? He’s a mascot for a paint company, right? Every 7th inning stretch, they should have him race a Dutch Boy. That’s just marketing. “The Dutch Boy mascot or an actual Dutch boy?” Damn it, you and your very smart questions. Listen, you have to decide some stuff on your own, but if you can get Mads Mikkelson, you have to do it. So in addition to Mason Williams (2-for-4 and his 1st homer, hitting .250), all the other Mets also got after former Met, Matt Harvey (3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 7.41). Must’ve been a nice night to be in the David Wright household. “Who’s a cuck now?!” David screamed at his TV. Was there an Albombso? Oh, there was an Albombso — Pete Alonso went 3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer. Kevin Pillar (3-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .262) hit his 3rd and 4th homer. True to his name, Pillar’s had a lot of columns written on him after taking one off his moneymaker. Pillar deserves it. Finally, Billy McKinney (3-for-5, 3 runs, 5 RBIs) hit his 6th and 7th homer. He’s a stereotypical Brewers’ hitter, which makes it odd they’d let the Mets steal him away. He’ll make lousy contact, hit some homers and would I like him more if his name was Mads McKinneyson? Yes. Billy Madsonney? No. Billy McKinsey? Definitely not. He’s a hot schmotato, pretend you know the haps. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ray Dropping Golden Sun On White Sox

June 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 462 Comments

by: Grey

Robbie Ray is using Spider Tack, but not to make the baseball sticky. He’s using it to apply his pants. Robbie Ray’s pants are so young, they haven’t even been born yet. Robbie Ray doesn’t dress in the morning, he paints. Don’t know what I’m talking about?

Jays could at least play along and change Robbie Ray’s uniform number to 69 pic.twitter.com/dPPRlbvMs8

— Razzball (@Razzball) June 9, 2021

So, Robbie Ray had another great outing last night — 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.36. Amazing that Robbie Ray fixed himself by just throwing strikes, but that’s exactly what has happened. Feels way longer than most guys who suddenly become strike throwers — Max Scherzer and Randy Johnson come to mind. Randy was obviously much closer to Ray’s transformation; Max’s command wasn’t that bad. Good that someone finally got through to Ray, because his stuff was so good all he needed to do was pump it into the zone and let hitters try to hit it. They haven’t, and Ray’s extraneous balls have disappeared. Um, ya know what I mean. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Angels Went Wacko On JacKo

June 8, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 342 Comments

by: Grey

Did everyone enjoy the All-Star Game? Wait, that’s not for another month? Why was there only three games yesterday then? Was it a holiday? RobManberance Day? A national day of remembrance about how Rob Manfred is an idiot? Stop for a moment, lower your head and silently remember to yourself how stupid Rob Manfred is. A Boob Manfraud, forever amen. So, with so few games, we get to really dive in on Jackson Kowar‘s debut. Man, did he suck (2/3 IP, 4 ER). I kid. But not entirely. Jackson was too jacked up. It happens. He couldn’t throw anything for a strike, due to adrenaline. Easy 97 MPH fastball, and a nasty change, that either was four feet over the batter’s head, or dead-center in the strike zone. Prospect Itch texted me some extra info, “Curve is more 50 than plus, but it still helps him a lot. It’ll come down to fastball command, which was there for him this year in the minors, just not last night, obviously. Think he could be successful on the rookie arm spectrum.” Then I texted, “Right, so Shane McClanahan, i.e., terrible or great or both, like every rookie pitcher?” And he texted back, “Yeah, McClanahan-ish.” Then I texted, “Glad we were able to do this without you threatening me.” Then he texted, “I’ve been using this exchange for GPS tracking, and I’m outside your home.” Then I typed random letters, so he’d see “…” which gave me time to escape out the back of my house. For what it’s Cronenworth, the Prospectonator (that projects every rookie) hates Kowar, and I see him mostly as a streamer in shallower leagues, so Streamonator. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Three Rips Van Winker

June 7, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 415 Comments

by: Grey

You heard of Mrs. Dash? An all-powerful seasoning that you sprinkle on anything, and it makes it better. It’s crack…for your tongue! (May not be the actual slogan.) Now, if you swing already produces a great hard hit rate, you don’t want to tweak it too much. It’s already tasty. Only thing you can sprinkle on it to elevate it is a little bit more Launch Angle. Jesse Winker (3-for-4, 6 RBIs and 3 homers (15, 16, 17), hitting .350) is a classic example of what happens when a guy who hits the ball hard, tweaks his swing just a tad so the ball coming off his bat is just tad more elevated. Winker didn’t go full-Gallo on his Launch Angle. Just a smidge. A dash of wonderful, which if why I will now call him Mr. Dash. He elevates at the dish, and the crack of his bat is crack…for your fantasy team! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let Buy Gonsolin Be Buy Gonsolins

June 4, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 486 Comments

by: Grey

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Hearing nary a peep on Tony Gonsolin. I have my ear up to the computer screen for Tony Gonsolin questions, and, instead of Tony Gonsolin questions, all I hear is the 100 monkeys fighting over 99 typewriters in the other room, as they type up this reprot–Give Ling-Ling the typewriter! He’s Spellchecker Monkey! Sorry, it’s not easy being the monkey meditator. Maybe in the past two months people forgot the excitement over Tony Gonsolin, so due to some lazy-ass monkeys who I’m…*screams into other room*…about to fire, let’s just look at what I wrote in my Tony Gonsolin sleeper from this past preseason, “Tony Gonsolin has some kind of special numbers when it comes to contact rates. Ace-like. Just the Swinging Strike rate (14%) and the Swing rate (50.9) alone. To put that to you in real world terms, he’s around the strike zone, and hitters are ready to get on him, until the ball falls out of the zone and they miss.” In that post I compare him to Plesac and Maeda, which seems silly now, but you have to remember those guys are less good this year because they lost their command somewhere. If Gonsolin has his command, and in the rehab starts it looks he does, he could be at worst a fantasy number two to three for another 75 IP this year. Grab hmm! *screams into other room* Him! Him! Not hmm! That’s it, no bananas for anyone! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Nats Can’t Nip Tucker

June 4, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 245 Comments

by: Grey

Prospect Itch started touting Tucker Davidson in 2019, then added this year, “A hard-throwing lefty with command issues.” Just about sums up Tucker Davidson, doesn’t it? If you saw the clip of him this winter at Driveline, you know why his name is Tucker, because he was throwing in his underwear. He doesn’t jam hitters, he will Jame hitters, as in Jame Gumb. Tucker Davidson isn’t a game show host, he’s a Jame show host. He doesn’t just drop in a 79 MPH curve, he puts it in a basket and lowers it into a hole. His stuff — well, impressive, but nine of ten dentists agree there will be caveats. Since it was one of two games on early yesterday, I watched Davidson (5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 5 BBs, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.31), and he looks like he is a bad luck start away from a 2/3 IP, 7 ER outing with very little idea where the ball is going. Luckily, the hitters don’t really know either. Could see using the Streamonator, and maybe risking it all for the rookie nookie, but he’s dangerous, due to his command. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 5033 posts

Mets Smoke deGrom’s Shoulder And Pull It Once Tender

“Hey Zeus” Sanchez Hoping To Bring The Thunder For Marlins

Justout Bieber

Toronto 8 HRs in Boston To Show They Ain’t Dunedin

Shhh – India Is My Mum Buy Of The Week

Zack Trucks The Braves With His 12(K)-Wheeler

Mets Make Harvey Trade Batsuit For Hazmatt Suit

Ray Dropping Golden Sun On White Sox

Angels Went Wacko On JacKo

Three Rips Van Winker

Let Buy Gonsolin Be Buy Gonsolins

Nats Can’t Nip Tucker