If you are a true fantasy baseballer (<–my mom’s term!), then when you read Byron Buxton‘s name in the title, you waved yourself with a handkerchief like you were Scarlett O’Hara and stutter-stepped like you might pass out. That’s how sexy Buxton is. Another sign of his sexiness, I searched his name on the top right of the site and there were ten pages of results with ten results on each page. 100 posts about Buxton and he’s still a rookie! This is like the chicken and the egg. Are we victims of the hype and hence there’s that many posts about him or are we perpetuating the hype by writing that many posts about him? Brucely, my dear, I don’t give a damn! At this point, you might be asking your mirror, “You, with the handsome head of hair that you paste onto your head every morning, why is Buxton hyped? Wasn’t he garbage last year?” You’re right, you, you smart person you. Buxton was awful this past year in his small cup of coffee; let’s say his espresso was bitter and no amount of lemon rind was helping it. In 138 plate appearances, he had 129 at-bats. Doesn’t that tell you so much? Okay, how about the .209 average with two homers and two steals with two times caught stealing. Does that round out the picture of crapitude he was sporting? Must I remind you that Trout’s first espresso was awful too? Ciao, faccia brutta! Anyway, what can we expect of Byron Buxton for 2016 fantasy baseball?
Please, blog, may I have some more?