I’m doing fine without games every day. Thanks for checking in on me. *nervous giggle, looks into the mirror, laughs hysterically* I’m just fine! The other day at 7 PM EST, I took a magic marker and every few minutes I wrote on my computer, giving my fantasy team a run, RBI and the occasional home run. Sadly, even with my fantasy fantasy team accruing stats, Chris Archer gave up four earned in six innings. Since there were no games this week and players haven’t been able to get hot or cold or humid, this Buy/Sell is going to be slightly different. This Buy/Sell includes some players that are owned in more than 50% of leagues. Okay, that’s not different for the Sells, but it does change the Buys. The other day on our podcast I asked JB if he knew the one and only white reggae artist, Snow, because he has a doppelganger on the Pirates, Ja-Snow, but JB didn’t know Snow because JB was born in the 2000s. But I was also asked by him who is my biggest buy of the 2nd half. For that I said, “Um, well, I have to say, actually, actually, actually, my biggest buy is, uh, um, hmm.” Spit it out, Grey! You know how your own voice sounds weird? I wonder if that holds up for the Movie Trailer Guy. Finally, I said David Price, who I will get to shortly. Yes, that was the worst intro ever to Michael Brantley. I was trying to squeeze Brantley into my top 100 for the 2nd half, then I was like, “Grey, you’re handsome, smart and other words for those two traits. You’ll find a way to squeeze in Brantley if you really think he belongs. Also, what are we having for lunch?” Salmon poke, but no dice on Brantley. At the end of the day, that day specifically, I decided Brantley’s shoulder injury worries me too much for inclusion, but I’d still stash him on my DL or buy him crazysupercheap, which is also the price for the CrazySexyCool album on CD. “These things will never go out of style!” That’s me spending thousands of dollars on CDs. For the 2nd half, Brantley’s projections look like Yunel’s 5 HRs, 4 SBs, .295, but maybe his last cortisone shot will take and he’ll be his old self for six weeks to two months. For the price you can get him right now, it’s worth it to find out. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
David Price – Promise pinkie, I’m not saying to buy him because I just traded Chris Archer for him. I’ve also added Abreu into the Buys and I just traded him away (for Frazier). Price’s peripherals are insane. I know, peripherals are awesome if you’re playing in a Benjamin Netanyahu league, but since only like .005% of fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) are, peripherals don’t mean shizz. Yet, bear with me. Or bare, if you’re a nudist. David Price has better peripherals this year, than his 2.45 ERA year in 2015. He has a 10.1 K/9 and a 2.0 BB/9. Those are some of the best numbers in the major leagues. His velocity is off, but he’s still throwing 93 MPH, so it’s not like he’s suddenly Jered Weaver Ultimate Frisbee’ing up the ball. Want a guy that could win ten games, have a 2.50 ERA and strikeout 110 hitters in the 2nd half? There’s about five pitchers that can do that and Price is one.
Jose Abreu – Let’s go over the good — and there’s more good than bad — his BABIP is low, which means he’s been a tad unlucky on average, his strikeouts are actually down, walks are stable, HR/FB% is way off previous years, fly balls are up, ground balls are about even, line drives are down a little, but not that much, infield fly balls are down and he still physically resembles the Big Hurt, so we can write off a tapeworm. The bad news, he’s chasing a lot more balls outside of the strike zone, swinging at more inside the strike zone and he still looks like the Big Hurt which is a lot to live up to, get a tapeworm already! I don’t think Abreu is going to explode for 25 homers in the 2nd half, but if he hit more homers in the 2nd half than the 1st, it would not surprise me.
Chris Davis – I mentioned this in the top 100 for the 2nd half, but Davis could be the biggest fantasy value guy for the 2nd half, because he can hit 25 homers in six weeks. So, if I needed power, I would overpay for someone like Davis. In fact (Grey’s got more!), I’d overpay for anyone if it helped my team. Need a 3rd baseman and have a ton of outfielders? Send Trout for Machado. Is Trout more valuable? Yeah, but sometimes you have to lose in the short term for a long term gain. Look at Grey with the teachable moments.
Jonathan Villar – More on Villar below. I promise.
Tyler Thornburg – Jeffress is rumored to be traded at any moment, so I’d grab Thornburg now and all that jizzazz (hmm, that word looks weird).
Jim Johnson – If Arodys gets traded, then Maurico Cabrera could take over, but I imagine we’ll hear, “Welcome to the big time, Johnson!” Which is something I’ve never heard before.
Koji Uehara – Kimbrel will be out for about a month and, brucely, I don’t give a damn, because I have Scarlett Uehara. Is his nickname catching on yet?
Cam Bedrosian – Huston Street’s been bad, could be injured and/or traded, so that leaves us looking for his backup. Captain Joe Smith is off hanging with Elizabeth Warren and Salas is one letter off from salad — yuck! — so that leaves us with Bedrosian.
Yasmani Grandal – When he hit three homers in one game last Friday, I added him everywhere, and with no games this week, you’d think I’d still want Grandal, well, want is a bit strong, but I still own him.
A.J. Reed – As I mentioned in the lede, didn’t want to get bogged down in who’s hot and who’s not, though that used to be my favorite website, so I’m giving you Reed here even though he’s been awful so far. By next week this time, if he hasn’t picked it up, then I can see moving on, but I’d try to give him that extra time. He would do it for you (no, he wouldn’t).
Alex Bregman – Okay, no, I’m not playing PokemonGo just wandering around the Astros’ clubhouse looking for prospects. I just went over my Alex Bregman fantasy, and the Astros just said they’re not calling him up this weekend, which means, of course, they will. I’d give Bregman another week to see if he’s called up. More on him in Prospector Ralph’s top rookies for the 2nd half.
Max Kepler – He has five homers in the month of July which is better than Bryce Harper. (Actually it’s better than Harper’s June too.) So, ya know, Kepler’s better than Harper.
Matt Moore – It might be due to a very poor self-esteem, but the Stream-o-Nator loves this guy tomorrow like it would love some kind of emotional connection with anyone or thing.
SELL
Jonathan Villar – Okay, Imma let you finish, but you have Villar as a Buy and Sell. Good joke, Grey, but I’m not laughing very much. Yeah, I know I put Villar as both a Buy and a Sell. I did that to show that a lot of trades are needs-based at this point. Do you needs yourself some steals? Then buy him! Do you not needs no steals or grammar books? Then sell him! If I could gain three or more points in steals without losing points in power, I’d make some pretty ridiculous trades to acquire Villar. (Or Hamilton or…Is there anyone else that steals bases anymore?)
Drew Pomeranz – Depending on whether you pronounce your R’s or live on Mawtha’s Vineyahd will likely dictate how you feel about the trade of Pomeranz to the Red Sawx. Even if you’re in the camp that Petco isn’t that pitcher-friendly anymore and that Fenway isn’t that awful, you have to know NL to AL and NL West to AL East does not do wonders for Pomeranz’s value. Also, Pomeranz is pushing up to an innings’ threshold he’s never thrown past before, so fatigue will set in. You got any Sons of Sam Horn in your league? Then get crackin’ on the trade market.
Noah Syndergaard – So, he went into the break with a fatigued arm and him and the Mets said it was no big deal. Oh, it’s just your gaarden variety fatigued arm. Ya know, nothing to worry about. Lili Taylor should write a song about all of the lies the Mets tell. I don’t think you should sell Syndergaard low unless, well, you don’t need a starter, but I am concerned about Syndergaard and, really, the entire Mets’ pitching staff. Except for Colon, he doesn’t have arms, he has giant churros he uses as catapults.
Jay Bruce – Can anyone get anything for Bruce? The bag is out of the cat on this guy, no? I mean, he’s hot garbage that you leave in the trunk of your car then your car gets airlifted to the surface of the sun. He is a 10 homer, .220 per half hitter disguised as a 18 homer, .267 hitter. And you know what? That is one terrible costume.
Adam Duvall – As I said in my top 100 for the 2nd half, I don’t know if Duvall’s going to hit ten more homers, 15 more or 7. What I didn’t mention, I also don’t know if he’s going to hit .210, .240 or .180. “Grey, your mustache is my Arc de Triomphe, but .180? C’mon, man, let’s be real.” Yeah, Duvall hit .189 in Triple-A for the Reds last year. He is the kind of guy that could go into severe slumps. I wouldn’t trade Duvall for a coach flight sitting next to Kamala the Ugandan Giant, but I would explore options.
