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Author: Grey

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Grey

Rick Perry Convinced Astros To Invest In Cole

January 13, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 49 Comments

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Yo, this winter trading season has been a Bomb Cyclone, but not as in the winter storm, or a flurry of moves, but rather the Bomb Cyclone, the Coney Island roller coaster that kills one of four riders. “This doesn’t seem that rickety.” Three minutes later, “Is the wooden plank I’m sitting on supposed to be falling to the ground from 75 feet in the air?”  Seriously, is this the worst offseason for player signings and/or trades?  Players aren’t even signing in dribs and drabs, they’re not signing at all.  My rankings start on Monday, and I have dozens of players that read something like, “Still a free agent, so this could change.”  By the way, a urologist should put on his business card, “Specializes in drips and drabs.”  As for Gerrit Cole being traded to the Astros, this sorta sums him up:

I might go back in on Cole if he can turn his career around from his 4.26 ERA last year, but I’m waiting for him to flip a U-ey before I hunker down in his bunker.  I’ve been burned way too many times by, “Cole’s looking great in his start…Damn, if it wasn’t for that 3-run homer he allowed in the sixth, that would’ve been a solid start.”  Yeah, I’m done with that.  Since I wasn’t going near Cole anyway, I’m actually more disappointed by this move because it bumps Brad Peacock from the rotation.  Peacock’s bloomage looked to be peaking.  All of Peacock’s numbers were more attractive to me than Cole.  Alas, it doesn’t matter.  Peacock is out of the rotation until there’s an injury.  Though, this does help solidify Trevor Williams’ place in the Pirates’ rotation.  Here’s my Trevor Williams sleeper.  Me likey!  For 2018, I’ll give Gerrit Cole the projections of 13-10/3.78/1.23/181 in 195 IP.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ian Happ, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 12, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 140 Comments

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Ian Happ doesn’t even have a starting job, but I’m crazy excited about him.  I think he’s the first player I’ve ever written a sleeper post about without a guaranteed starting job.  He’s going to lack runs and RBIs, because Joe Maddon is so smart he needs to outwit himself to stay one step of himself.  Make sense?  It’s not supposed to.  Last year, he had 24 HRs, 8 SBs and .253 in only 364 ABs.  *fighting urge to prorate*  Ugh!  I’m not mentally strong enough to avoid the Prorating Monster.  Last year, he had 65% of an everyday player’s at-bats, so with a full-time job he would’ve had 32 homers, 11 steals in his rookie year.  *eyes roll up in top of head, faints, Giancarlo catches me in his arms, wiping my brow with his handkerchief*  “Thank you, Giancarlo.  Wait, that’s not your arm you caught me with?”  You might be thinking, as a rational person would, that Ian Happ was platooned because of his huge platoon splits.  Haha, yeah, no.  He’s a switch hitter with no real splits.  Also, you might be thinking he is stuck behind someone who absolutely has to play every day.  Yeah, nope.  He played 145 games last year across five positions.  The Cubs are just kinda stacked and Happ played everywhere.  Last year, he played the most games at center field.  Right now, he’s still projected to see the most time in center.  Guess who’s in front of him.  Go ahead, I won’t laugh if you say the wrong name.  Did you just say Crash Bandicoot?  That’s the worst guess I’ve ever heard.  In front of Happ is Albert Almora Jr.  I’m sorry, Maddon does bonkers shizz, but there’s no way Almora moves Happ to the bench more than a few times a week, and those times Happ can just play another position.  So, what can we expect from Ian Happ for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Kevin Gausman, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 11, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 124 Comments

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Me don’t like focusing so much on AL East starters for sleepers.  Me do like talking like a leprechaun.  Kevin Gausman is stealing me Lucky Charms!  Last year, Gausman’s record was 11-12/4.68/1.49/179 in 186 2/3 IP.  Here’s what I said towards the end of last year, “This year, like a case of lice, Gausman is a real head scratcher.  Looking at his perfs (kids say this; think it’s short for perfumes), Gausman is having a garbage year.  Velocity is there, so doubt it’s a hidden injury.  The walks are way up, Ks are down, and the culprit appears to be his fastball.  Went from a near-10 in pitch value on his speed ball to a negative.  FS shouldn’t abbreviate fastball, it should be for ‘F**k’s sake.’  The good news is this sounds like a mechanics problem, and might’ve been fixed already.  Thanks, Pep Boys!  His 1st half vs. 2nd half:  5.85 ERA vs. 3.44; 7.7 K/9 vs. 9.6 K/9; 4 BB/9 vs. 3.2.  Yeah, sadly enough, it’s going to be hard to avoid him in 2018 again.”  And that’s me quoting me!  So, what can we expect for Kevin Gausman for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Patrick Corbin, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 10, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 102 Comments

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Patrick Corbin will be only 28 years old for half of the 2018 season.  I know, surprised me too.  How did I know that would surprise you?  I read your mind, man.  What’s that?  You’re now thinking string cheese would make a good tampon for a mouse?  Hmm, all right, you shouldn’t share that with anyone.  What is that you are thinking now?  Why not take one McRib and make a McEve?  Okay, I think I’m going to stop reading your mind now.  Seriously *motions to your head*  things are going on up there we don’t need to talk about.  Last year, Patrick Corbin, or as a serial killer would call him Pat Rick Corbin, went 14-13/4.03/1.42/178, and I fell asleep in the middle of that stat line.  1.42 isn’t a WHIP it’s my college GPA.  Four-oh-three isn’t an ERA, it’s an ate-testant’s starting weight on The Biggest Loser.  178 isn’t strikeouts it’s–Actually that’s not bad.  As a male porn actor once said, it’s about time we went under the hood.  So, what can we expect from Patrick Corbin for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Trevor Williams, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 8, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 118 Comments

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This is my answer track to my Masahiro Tanaka sleeper.  If that sleeper was on the shallow side, this is the polar opposite.  As the Guru once said, this post is for leagues that are deep and much too complicated.  Guru from Gang Starr, not Guru who used to write for this site.  It’s funny how I came upon Trevor Williams.  Not haha funny, because I’m not a clown.  For our five lady readers, do you know the benefit of having sex with a clown?  He can take the condom afterwards and make balloon animals.  Any hoo!  I noticed Trevor Williams when I was looking for Trevor Bauer.  I told you, funny!  That means, up next for a sleeper post, Ted Williams!  Then I will talk about a Williams and Sonoma catalog.  What’s that, you love Trevor Bauer and want to talk about him?  #Metoo.  I’m not using that right, am I?  Carry on, Grey!  Carry on!  If Trevor Williams were just, say, Trevor Williams who we never want to talk about, and not Trevor Williams who I want to talk about, we still wouldn’t be here, if it wasn’t for this one little stat:  21.5.  What is this 21.5 that I speak of?  Soon answers will be revealed like the last five minutes of Law & Order.  Clang-clang.  So, what can we expect from Trevor Williams for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Masahiro Tanaka, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 5, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 150 Comments

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Honestly, I don’t know how much of a sleeper Masahiro Tanaka is going to be in 2018.  I’m writing these posts without a ton of draft data.  You down with ADP?  No, actually, I’m not, and you know me.  My guess is Tanaka will be drafted between 100-130 overall.  There’s value to be had with that draft spot.  If people start hyping him and his splits (which I’ll get to), then Tanaka’s going to zoom past the point of sleeper.  I imagine in a lot of friendly leagues where people show up the day of the draft because it’s the only time they get away from their families, who they not-so-secretly despise, Tanaka will be a relative bargain.  And by ‘relative bargain’ I don’t mean the cousin who is living with you who you tried to sell on the Darknet.  Tanaka will have the Yankee inflation even in those leagues, so he’s not going to be as cheap as his last year 4.74 ERA should have him.  Then, in quote-unquote smarter leagues, Tanaka might be drafted in the top 90 overall because in those leagues people want to prove how much more they know than their leaguemates so they push up a guy like Tanaka on draft boards.  In most leagues, however, people will know Tanaka has a tendon issue, they’ll know he had a wretched first half last year (I promise I’ll get to the 2nd half), and they’ll know there’s safer guys while not wanting to prove anything to anyone by drafting Tanaka early.  In those leagues, Tanaka should come at a relative bargain.  Again, not the cousin you put on Darknet’s eBay.  So, what can we expect from Masahiro Tanaka for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Blake Snell, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 4, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 71 Comments

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The Rays pitching could be excellent this year.  Chris Archer is due for a positive correction; Jacob Faria might take the next step; I’ve always liked Jake Odorizzi; Matt Andriese is underrated; Jose De Leon is ready, willing and maybe healthy; I’ve already told you why my Brent Honeywell fantasy includes heart emojis and unicorns, in that order; I can’t wait for Jose Mujica to be promoted just so I can say, “Mujica Eff Yeah!” and Nathan Eovaldi…Well, he’ll likely still be crap.  Yet, the best one of those bunch could be Blake Snell.  Last year in 129 1/3 IP, his record was 5-7/4.04/1.33/119.  *turns computer upside down, turns head sideways, puts Instagram filter on stats, looks at stats in mirror*  Okay, any way you look at those stats their not gorge.  The 4.04 ERA is particularly vexing when you look at it in different ways because it’s a palindrome.  However, the 911 strikeouts is no joke.  Booooooooi!!!  By the way, leave it to the Rays to keep Snell trapped in the minors for six years when he’s looked ready for the last four.  If Snell were on the Tigers, he would likely be in his fifth major league season, on his 2nd major league team and would’ve won a Cy Young by now.  So, what can we expect from Blake Snell for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Luis Castillo, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 3, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 126 Comments

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In a post last year titled, Good Luck Storming The Castillo In 2018 Drafts, I wrote, “Watching Luis Castillo is officially an ASMR trigger.  *insert onomatopoeia of satisfied exhale, picks up invisible fork and knife, mimes cutting up satisfied exhale, eats exhale*  Do you see how Castillo’s got me?  I’m eating satisfied exhales.  Can I write the 2018 fantasy baseball sleeper post right now for Luis Castillo?  TFW you see Castillo:  Insert Oprah’s o face around Gayle King.  CASTILLO MAKING ME CRAZY!  And not eating sugar for six days isn’t helping.  This Whole30 Diet got me like:  insert crazy-googly eyes.  I got Biggie Smalls eyes right now.  *smacks face*  Be coherent, Grey!  Sorry, about that.  Luis Castillo’s surface perfs:  9.9 K/9, 3.2 BB/9, 3.40 xFIP, averages 98 MPH, and now I’m lightheaded again.  Okay, need to save something for his 2018 sleeper post.”  And that’s me quoting me!  So, guess what this is?  The Luis Castillo sleeper post.  Frank Voila!  Am I little concerned he’s not really a sleeper anymore?  Yeah, he’s being drafted a little high.  He might only be a sleeper, if everyone in your league is actually asleep.  So, what can we expect from Luis Castillo for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Michael Wacha, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 1, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 85 Comments

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I’ve been focusing a lot on hitters so far with my 2018 fantasy baseball sleepers (clickbait).  This is not by design.  Hanging in my kitchen, an Elvis clock that keeps time by swiveling its hips and a poster of a cat making sushi, so I can call that room my “kitsch-en,” that’s by design.  We need to find cheap pitchers who will return a better ROI just as much as cheap hitters.  By the way, ROI is the douchiest thing I’ve ever written on Razzball, and I tried to make “Potatoes to chips” a thing for five years.  Though, potatoes to chips, I kinda want to own Michael Wacha in every league.  You can look at his 12-9 record with a 4.13 ERA and balk, but Steve Carlton had a shizzton of balks, so is this a bad thing?  Not to answer, but to ruminate while sipping a pamplemousse La Croix.  This isn’t even about the Cardinals making explosive players out of duds, i.e., making dynamite out of nitric acid and a manifesto.  There’s one word females aren’t trying to gender neutralize, huh?  You don’t hear anyone complaining it’s not personifesto or even womanifesto.  Sure, leave us white men with the crap words!  Now, that I’ve mansplained manifesto… What can we expect from Michael Wacha for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ben Gamel, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 29, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 58 Comments

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Over in the Paul DeJong sleeper, I went over different types of sleepers.  There was the the sleeper who– Actually, just go there and read the categories I laid out like your mother lays out your clothes.  Are you back?  Good.  Okay, Ben Gamel doesn’t fit into any of those categories.  He’s in the category of “Who the eff is Ben Gamel?”  Just on the Mariners alone, I could say Ryon Healy is a sleeper, and some people might agree.  Mitch Haniger has been a sleeper for about three years.  Maybe some would even consider Mike Zunino a sleeper.  Ben Gamel though?  He’s not going to be drafted even in deep mixed leagues.  He’s a sleeper who fantasy baseball ‘perts won’t even talk about, but if you mention him they’ll be like, “Oh, yeah, he’s a good sleeper.”  So, why not talk about him?  “Because no one is going to talk about him.”  That’s right, most fantasy baseball ‘perts judge their sleepers on how much they are not sleepers.  Why is this?  Not sure, ask them.  Ben Gamel is around that of a $2 play in AL-Only leagues.  He’s the Rip Van Winkle of sleepers.  He’s such a sleeper I guarantee you there will be people asking me in the comments as late as June if they should pick him up.  He’s the kind of guy that can win super deep leagues with a very late round pick.  If you only play in shallower mixed leagues, go check out my Paul DeJong sleeper.  If you want a deep league flyer… So, what can we expect from Ben Gamel for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Manuel Margot, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 28, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 47 Comments

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Last year, Manuel Margot hit 16 homers and stole 21 bags, while hitting .263.  *you checking Manuel Margot player page, you furrowing your brow*  A 23-year-old with 16 homers and 21 steals while not killing you in average and being drafted after 200 overall?  Huh?  *you tentatively raising your hand*  You, “Um, Grey.”  Not right now, I’m making a point.  Is he being artificially deflated by the association with the Padres? Knowing the Padres, he’ll be traded to the Cubs for Andrew Cashner.  *you holding your elbow as your arm gets tired from being raised*  “Grey, can I just say one thing?”  What, you?  Smugly, “He only hit 13 homers and stole 17 bases.”  That’s right, in only 126 games, I was prorating his numbers over the course of the season, so eat a D, Smug You.   This was also his rookie year.  What, no player has ever gotten better after their rookie year?  Maybe not Cody Bellinger or Aaron Judge or Ben Grieve, but most do get better after their rookie year.  So, what can we expect from Manuel Margot for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nick Castellanos, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 26, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 75 Comments

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Hahahahahahahaha–Breathe, Grey, breathe!  Nick Castellanos?!  As a sleeper?!  Again?!  Well, it must be fantasy baseball sleeper season with a post about Nick Castellanos.  I debated on whether or not to write this post (for 17 seconds), but I kinda have to write a sleeper post about Nick Castellanos now because if he really does breakout in a huge way this year, I can’t have this offseason be the one year he doesn’t have a sleeper post.  That wouldn’t make any sense.  Kinda like every episode of Mr. Robot.  Elliot is doing what now?  I have no idea, and I watch the episodes and read the recaps.  I nearly talked myself out of this sleeper post, too.  Not because I’ve written the same one four years counting, though that would’ve been a good reason.  I almost didn’t write it because his power was so lucky last year.  He nearly led the league with ‘Lucky’ homers (4) and was fifth in the league for ‘Just Enough’ homers (12).  16 homers out of his 26 homers that could’ve easily been doubles (one, actually, could’ve been an out because it was a misplayed inside-the-park-homer).  Who’s Greek and might only hit 10 homers next year?  Nick Markakis, the Greek God of the Bloop Single, but if there’s room for one more, Nick Castellanos, the Greek God of Hard Contact, seems like a worthy bedfellow.  Though, there’s the thing:  Hard Contact.  So, what can we expect from Nick Castellanos for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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