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Psst! This post is gonna list 2nd basemen that you should target in your 2023 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m whispering because you don’t want everyone to see this post. No, I can’t whisper louder, then it WOULDN’T BE WHISPERING! Okay, gig’s up (or maybe that’s jig’s up), the love I’m about to reiterately (Made Up Word of the Day!) confirm is on these guys I love later in drafts. I’m not going to mention Vaughn Grissom other than this one mention of him where I say I’m not going to mention him. At least that’s my apophasis and I’m sticking to it! These are players that you’re looking at later and all of them have ADPs after 200 (unlike Grissom; okay, two non-mentions). Some could be the 2nd baseman on your team, they are more than likely MIs. This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 20 2nd basemen for 2023 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2023 projections. Anyway, here’s some 2nd basemen to target for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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‘Member the days when I told you that you needed a top 1st basemen and you shouldn’t look for sleepers at this position? Don’t remember? Prolly for best, leave more room in your brain to remember excuses for why you didn’t exercise. Previously, I’d tell you to go to my top 20 1st basemen for 2023 fantasy baseball (not clickbait at all) and draft some top guys and stop fooling around with sleepers at this position. Of course, I’m malleable like Gumby and this year we need to look for sleepers at 1st base *ducks head*.  Whoa, someone threw a wrench into this! Fine, Pete Alonso and Matt Olson get my nethers ablaze, but 1st basemen dry up quick. As with other positions like the catchers to target (again, not clickbait), these are 1st basemen that are being drafted late. For the 1st basemen, I’m going with an ADP of 150 or later to be included in this post. Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Okay, I’m going to try to show you my 2023 LABR team, but I have to warn you, if your parental controls are too high on your browser, you might not be able to see my team. If, for unstints, you have your Chrome browser at PG-13, you won’t even see Jordan Walker. To help those people, and I’m only going to do this this one time, J*rdan W*lker is my 3rd baseman. You won’t see my shortstop, 2nd baseman or 1st baseman. I’m sorry. I’m not great with technology,  but I believe if you go to your browser preferences, you can lower your parental controls, and then view my post. Of course, after you do that, you see my OnlyFans too, but why not subscribe, so I can read you my LABR team recap while I wear a nightie. So, I took part in the LABR, 12-team, mixed auction this past weekend and I built a team that is dripping in sex appeal.  Besides being an auction and two catcher, it’s very similar to our RCL leagues (spots available to take on me and all of your worst frenemies, and win prizes; it’s free — sign up for a Razzball Commenter League under that linkie-ma-whosie.) Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, mixed league draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Baseball, like a flower, blooms in the spring. They also share equally effusive PR people. Just the other day I read about how a petunia’s branches gained 15 pounds and was in the best shape of its life. Sure, it’s always good to look at spring training numbers to give you an idea what you can expect from guys during the season — can I draft Jarred Kelenic yet?! Dude is mashing like the ball’s a potato! Players in spring training are facing the top pitchers who are all displaying their best stuff. No one needs time to get warmed up. No one’s trying new pitches or getting a feel for the ball. They are at the height of their game in the beginning of March. Our former commissioner, Bud, once doffed his toupee and tried to have the World Series played in March. That’s the true pioneer of a sped-up game. Forget the pitch clock, just play the World Series at Spring Training. Since these spring training numbers mean so much, I decided to look at some players stats so far:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2023 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that during the Ottoman Empire. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2023 projections and blurbs I wrote for them. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2023 fantasy baseball. Now, guys and five girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Tyler Stephenson if they fall, but, to get on this list, a catcher needs to be drafted later than 200 overall, and, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. In regards to the ADP in the parenthesis, NFBC is for two catcher leagues, so that should be taken into account. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Somehow, contact injuries are awful and non-contact injuries are even worse. It’s always something like, “Um, is that leg supposed to go in that direction?” It’s like three-quarters of someone’s body is going to get milk from the store and one leg is like, “Hey, I’m going to grab a burger.” Like most of someone’s body is headed to their friend’s house, and one random leg has the address typed into Waze for their friend’s home that they lived at in the 90’s. That happened to Gavin Lux heading to third base the other day. Gavin Lux tore his ACL and is out for the season. The good news is Miguel Vargas only has a fractured finger. I’ll be honest with you, unlike all those times I’ve lied through my teeth, I can’t get super excited for Vargas. I’ve tried. Boy George, have I tried! Now, he absolutely will get everyday at-bats though, so that moves him up in my 1st basemen rankings. Also, the top 500 for 2023 fantasy baseball was updated. Finally, the 2nd basemen rankings, which were depressing as it was, lost Lux and they really sux. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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As many of you know, I’m in the NL-Only Tout Wars league, so every year I take part in an industry NL-Only league with the CBS peeps to try to find my footing before I go off to New York to take on the heavyweights, and Andy Behrens, who is the one guy in our league with a seemingly healthy BMI. Some might mock, some might mock draft, but this is my draft prep, and am happy to take part in this league. Dot dot dot. Until about 25 minutes into the draft, and players go for way too much, and I start getting hungry and I just want the whole thing to be over and ermahgerd! But, for those first twenty-five minutes of the five-hour draft, I’m laser focused. For this league, I once again use Rudy’s NL-Only rankings, and his War Room (it’s free with a subscription). I won’t try to get you to buy it anymore. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make the horse put a cape down so I can walk over the water without getting wet. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds others for prizes –> Razzball Commenter Leagues.)  Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Chose to go over ESPN and Yahoo’s 2023 fantasy baseball rankings and did a quick search, finding 2023 yahoo fantasy baseball rankings with little effort. Pretty simply, tee be aitch. A google search of “2023 Yahoo Fantasy Baseball Rankings” to be exact. With that said, I don’t think ESPN fantasy baseball rankings exist anymore. Does ESPN still do fantasy baseball rankings? I saw ESPN was switching their format to become big baby stuff with, like, nine hitters, five pitchers and only a top 100 overall to play more like, I’m guessing, fantasy football, but, when I searched for ESPN fantasy baseball rankings, I received an error page that read something like, “We do football, and some basketball, but if you’re interested in baseball, you are the wrong demographic, so goodbye.” So, first off, I guess props to Yahoo for still doing fantasy baseball rankings. With that said, I will now remove my Ginzu from my sheath and begin the process of slicing and dicing. I’m using a mandoline on their rankings without a protective cover! I’m using a mandolin without that weird rubber cover on my thumb! Just very manly stuff that a lot of you expect from me. Ya know, I’ve been arrested before (12 years ago). For peeing in public because my wee-wee bladder is so wee. Got off with a ticket, but that time in prison (90 minutes) hardened me, and now it’s time to take it out on Yahoo for their 2023 fantasy baseball rankings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Someone’s going to launch me into the sun for my fantasy baseball overrated posts this year. From Bobby Witt Jr. to Michael Harris II to Daulton Varsho and Sandy Alcantara, okay, those last two were a little more understandable, but Witt to Harris II to (stutterer!) Luis Robert? Have I joined the old fuddy duddies who hate baseball? Am I a hater of fun? Will I dislike a bat flip? “Answer me!” I scream at the mirror, but my reflection doesn’t answer. It merely stares back, crying. But, when I touch my own face, my cheeks are dry. What is the meaning of this? Have I disconnected from reality? Is this not me typing these letters? “Whose hands are these!” I scream at the ceiling as I drop to my knees. Throwing disrespect at some of the most electric players in baseball isn’t great fun, I’ll tell ya that much after telling you exactly that. Luis Robert is fantastic, I think. I haven’t gotten to see him that much, tee be aitch, because he’s never on the field. So, what can we expect from Luis Robert for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Usually only bestow on you one pitching schmohawk. Like a genie giving one wish, and you’re like, “Yo, genie, it’s pretty standard to give three,” and the genie’s like, “Sorry, inflation.” As they say at opposite world’s Wetzel’s, don’t get it twisted, I could drop on you numerous schmohawk posts about pitchers, but can I just point you to my 2023 fantasy baseball rankings and, specifically, my top 20 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball and say look there for the pitchers I don’t like. Also, I won’t give you a closer schmohawk post either, because they’re mostly just SAGNOF, and I won’t draft a closer in the top 100ish. Not really schmohawk’ing to say Emmanuel Clase is overrated. I mean, he is, but not because he won’t be good. He can be good and still be overrated. On the most basic level: A five-category guy vs. a closer? Is that even close? No, it’s not. In one league, I drafted Oneil Cruz the pick after Ryan Pressly. Oneil Cruz who’s going to go 40/40 vs. Pressly who will give you 32 saves. Mmkay. That brings me to Sandy Alcantara, who can also be good just not good enough to be the fourth best starter off the board or to be drafted before pick 30 overall. Sandy Alcantara is one of those where I told you to draft him last year, and prolly would again this year, if he were going around where he was last year. Going back to my Pulitzer Prize-winning theory that every player has a career ADP, and thinking about how Sandy Alcantara went from pick 85 last year to 29 this year. What is his career ADP? Splitting the difference between 80 and 40 is likely the answer, but it’s definitely not 29 for reasons I will get to on the other side of the “anyway.” Anyway, what can we expect from Sandy Alcantara for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This one feels too easy. Usually I don’t tell you a catcher is overrated because, well, they’re catchers. It kinda goes with the territory. I’m giving myself a pass this year to call Daulton Varsho overrated because he has outfield eligibility. That outfield eligibility is actually what’s going to make it super easy to prove how overrated he is. We’re gonna compare him to other outfielders! Taking me out of the equation at first because you know I bring fire, but others have smoke. On our 12-team Player Rater, Daulton Varsho is currently ranked 120th overall, right next to Steven Kwan, who might be as valuable, but is a tough comp, because they’re not at all similar. Another outfielder near Daulton Varsho is Nick Castellanos, and further down the road is Ramon Laureano, who might be the best comp, so let’s try him on for size. Daulton Varsho is a 27/16/.235 hitter. You can debate the projections, but that’s what he just did. Ramons Laureano went 24/13/.288. Wait, that’s much better…Hold on! Sorry, that’s what Laureano did earlier in his career. Yeah, no way he does that again (there is a way, but let’s continue). Ramon Laureano’s projections are 21/20/.233. So, push on average; four more steals and six less homers. Hmm, well, they must be going close to each other in drafts, right? Hold on! They’re not? Geez, these surprises are a lot for my heart. Daulton Varsho is going around 39th overall and Laureano is going around 208th? Oh, wow. Hmm, that seems like a big difference. “Okay, but Daulton Varsho has catcher eligibility!” You scream at yourself in the mirror, as tears roll down your cheeks. Right, gotcha, there, there, buddy. He sure does. Let’s see that Player Rater again. Oh, boy, Varsho is ranked ahead of Will Smith and Alejandro Kirk! Damn, point made. They are respectively ranked 125th and 128th. Wow, big difference there. Kirk aka Bart Harley Jarvis is worth $11.60 and Varsho is worth $12.3. A full seventy cents of difference. They must be really close in ADP, huh? Kirk is sixty spots after Varsho? Hmm, that doesn’t seem very close. So, I guess besides all of that, why is Daulton Varsho overrated for 2023 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?