I was about to fall off my chair if Sixto Sanchez‘s parents knew when he was born that he would be 6’2″, but it turns out they overshot by two inches. Prolly best. My mind couldn’t have handled that kind of freaky-deaky shizz. So, Sixoh Sanchez was called up–What? We have to call him that now. We can’t perpetuate fake news. Wanna be called Sixto? Then grow two more inches, you big phony! Unless…Oh crap. I just realized something. Every game he starts the score is going to be 6-2. Hopefully in his favor then, I guess. So, Marlins called him up and here’s Prospect Itch’s last words on him, “Sixto Sanchez gives Miami exactly what (Marlins’ front office exec) Denbo wants: a fastball with enough pace to live atop the zone and a curve change slider off-speed compliment to get hitters chasing down and out. His strikeout numbers haven’t been elite, but everything else has, and he’s always been young for his level. Also, I’d like to level Grey.” What the heck, man?! Prospect Hobbs gave you about 1200 words on Sixto Sanchez in his Cristian Pache fantasy. As for this year, rookie pitchers are tantalizing, and I did grab Sixto, but, honestly, I might drop him before he even pitches. In a short season, a guy like Danny Duffy is likely better than a rookie pitcher, who could be an ace in two years. It is nice to see the Marlins kicking it from the six-fingered Alfonseca to the Sixto’d one. Sixto Sanchez isn’t in this afternoon’s Buy, but could’ve been for the upside flyer. To see who is in the Buy/Sell before it’s released on Razzball, join our Patreon. It’s $5/month, or the price of enough gas to get your lawnmower to run for 12 minutes. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Rockies Infield Has A New Neighbor
August 20, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 408 Commentsby: Grey
Who ropes us in? Did you just answer, “A rodeo cowboy?” No, I’m talking about in fantasy. Did you just say, “My fantasies involve rodeo cowboys?” I’m saying Bud Black ropes us in…*sees your eyes start to glaze over*…like a great rodeo cowboy! Now that I have your attention, David Dahl was IL’d with something. He is Mr. Glass. I won’t hear otherwise. Earlier this summer it was reported Dahl had no spleen. I have no idea what a spleen does, but if I were a scientist, I’d be looking into how no spleen equals a litany of injuries. “Is the spleen connected to back pain?” That’s me as a scientist while not knowing anything a scientist might know. So, Brendan Rodgers was called up! I grabbed him in all leagues where I could. He could be the call-up — flashing power, some speed and solid average because, and I can’t stress this enough after saying something that is meant to stress this: Coors. In only 37 games in Triple-A last year, he hit 9 HRs and .350, and guess how many games the Rockies had left when he was called up. Ding, ding, ding — 37! Hopefully, Bud Black isn’t just roping us in again. “I caught me some rodeo clowns.” That’s Bud Black. That bastard. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?My, my, my my hitters can’t hit so hard! Makes me say, “Oh my Lord!” Thank you for blessing me, but please! I didn’t sneeze! Okay, okay, OKAY! Let’s bask like a Spanish omelette (that might be Basque) in Kenta Maeda. Yesterday, was nearly the best start of the year until Taylor Rogers did the doo-doo after being told “don’t do doo-doo.” Maeda went 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.27. By the by, you can see all the top 100 starts of the year under that linkiemajiggies. (I say ‘nearly’ because that page updates after the start, and Rogers blew his win.) I called Maeda a sleeper for a good four months this preseason. Here’s a brief snippet of me back in February, “Traded to the Twins, because all, and I mean, all things I touch turn to gold. *touches lamé jumper* I’m Beyonce, snitches! This can’t be bad for Maeda. If you want, like, actually facts, fine. Maeda’s about to be a top 20 starter.” Then I went on for about 1500 words across five different starter sleeper posts about Maeda’s swinging strike rate and how much I loved Maeda. If you didn’t draft him, that is really more on you. You could’ve touched him, now you Kenta’d. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Tigers At Least Trying As Far As I Can Sir Mize
August 18, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 333 Commentsby: Grey
Are the Tigers king of summer streaming offerings? Are the Tigers eating their young or are they eating whatever is thrown in the dumpster behind the Costco? Should fantasy baseballers be singing Here Kitty Kitty to young Tigers or is Carole Baskin robbing us of our Baseball Nut? Is an actual ice cream flavor at Baskin-Robbins called Baseball Nut and does it have chestnut cream? All of these questions are going through my mind on this lovely mid-August day as the Tigers promote Tarik Skubal and Casey Mize. Every MLB team should look at how the Tigers deal with prospects and emulate. The Tigers throw them to the fire and it’s grrrrrrrrr…hey, this is fun after 13 years of Spanish couldn’t teach me how to roll my R’s….rrrrreat! On Prospect Itch’s Tigers fantasy prospects, he has Mize 1st and Skubal 3rd, but that’s from January, which is like another year ago. I wrote a Casey Mize fantasy, which is from another year ago. Both of these guys could be aces, and worth picking up, but neither may go very deep into games this year. So, in redraft? Prolly look at streaming Mize and Skubal, in that order, due to how long either can go in games. In dynasty leagues, Skubal is flat-out sexy, but in a Glasnow-type way. Could he go 4 IP, 3 ER and 10 Ks? Yes. Will he go 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks and get you a bunch of Quality Starts? I don’t know about that yet on Skubal, but that might be Mize. So, I think Mize over Skubal for this year? Yes, I welcome your Sir Mize. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Difficult Finding The Pearl In A Rocky Mountain Oyster
August 17, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 415 Commentsby: Grey
Jairo Diaz was told the Rockies will no longer have a designated closer. Bud Black is crazy, right? I mean, he is legit nuts or no? I know the Woke Police say you shouldn’t call people crazy, but if we don’t, then they might not get help and Bud Black needs help. I thought maybe Black was just slow on the uptake as witnessed by Garrett Hampson’s playing time. It’s not normal to go from not playing to suddenly being an everyday leadoff man, like Black just discovered Hampson this year. Garrett was good last year, you absolute loon! But this is about Jairo Diaz. He didn’t have the best of games (2/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, ERA at 3.12), but Carlos Estevez (1/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.38), who saved the game, took a comeback off his hand, and was in severe pain, heading for x-rays. So, one guy’s been decent (Diaz), one guy is obviously injured, and the third guy, Daniel Bard (1 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.09) has been okay, but serious emphasis on “okay” and nothing more. That’s when you announce the guy with zero blown saves is no longer the closer? Bud Black is twenty-six screws short of an Ikea dresser. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Clint In And Even MAGAs Are Buying
August 14, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 338 Commentsby: Grey
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY YESTERDAY ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $5/MONTH.)
Being hearing a lot of gossip about Clint Frazier. That’s healthy. Ya know, some ginger tea. Don’t think the Yankees called Clint Frazier up just for make-up games, though this was overheard: “He’s not a clown?” Aaron Boone continued, “Oh, I thought he was for makeup games.” Then Boone laughed himself out of his mask.
Artwork by our talented writer, CoolWhip.
So, Clint Frazier has struggled to get real playing time with the Yankees, but maybe he’s this year’s spark plug. He does look like he’s fire. He’s a 20-homer, 7-steal, .260 hitter over a 162 games, and that lineup is so great, I’d take a flyer on Frazier. Some might say, “Clint Frazier? I like Mike Tauchman!” Yeah, Tauchman’s projected for 3 HRs, 2 SBs and a .255 average, how can he not be owned?! Dude’s a 20-game hot streak away from one good Trevor Story game! Okay, I’m being unfair and underselling. Projections don’t love Tauchman, but if he gets everyday at-bats, he’s worth a look or whoever is in that lineup replacing Stanton, whether it’s Aaron Hicks, Mike Ford, Clint Frazier, or PTBYankee’dL. So, this is kind of a Yankees’ placeholder in lineup endorsement, but Clint Frazier is the most interesting. Plus, *pinkie up as I sip* ginger tea. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Robert De Niro, dressed in a Phillies jersey with Phanatic-fur pants, points down a dark alleyway, “Hey, Kingery, I have some beautiful furs for you. Go ahead, what are you scared of?” Little did Kingery know that just down that alleyway was a group of Phillies fans readying batteries to throw. So, Phils called up Alec Bohm, and, while I did have a laugh at Kingery’s suckitude, I have to think this is more likely the end of Jay Bruce’s playing time at DH, but maybe Kingery loses some ABs too. During the shutdown, I wrote an Alec Bohm fantasy, but since I am more of a gent than Jimmy Conway, I will quote some relevant parts, “Last year in Double-A, Alec Bohm hit for power, he has 60-grade power, but even more glamorous is he had a 10.4% walk rate and 14.1% strikeout rate. He only hit .269, but that was with a .265 BABIP. He also had a 18.1% line drive rate, 41.2% ground ball rate and 40.7% fly ball rate. One other player with a 10.4% K-rate, 18% line drive rate, 40.5% GB rate and 41.5% fly ball rate goes by the name of Pete Alonso! Swoon! *draws hearts on Trapper Keeper, stares out at the moonlight as I lower my Rapunzel-like quarantine hair* By the way, Rapunzel was the world’s first quarantine’er. Prove me wrong. So…Is Bohm Alonso? Alonso is Bohm? Finkle/Einhorn? Einhorn/Finkle? No, no, yes, yes. Alonso strikes out way more than Bohm! Holy swooning, Batman! Bohm’s gonna be 24 years old in August. Double-A is not where he should be. Double-A negatives be damned, he has never not waited for his pitch at any level. The eye is there. He is taking so long to get challenged by MLB pitchers, that I worry he could struggle at the MLB level. Our Prospectonator, which gives 162-game stats for every rookie so you can get an idea of what they’re capable of, has some rose-colored glasses for Bohm, giving him 23 HRs, 5 SBs and a .265 average. That’s surprising to me, because I don’t think we have any idea what to expect from Bohm yet, let alone that highly. I’m concerned Bohm ever connects, but if he does, it better be this year, so he’s as good a dart throw as any.” And that’s me quoting me! There’s more in that article from Prospect Hobbs and Itch, but you get the picture like Bohm waits for the pitcher, and has power. I grabbed him in all leagues where he was available. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yard Byron Buxton, known for such classic poems as Don Juan Soto, She Walks In Beauty But Buxton Doesn’t Walk, and Fare Thee Well, a poem about Baby Jessica, was a classic poet during the Romantic movement. Yard Byron would say, “That blows,” and women would say, “That’s so romantic.” If they were being sarcastic, it’s news to Yard Byron. The Yard once said, “I was thunder-stroke recently, until I realized it was Miguel Sano standing on my foot.” Oh, Yard Byron, you are so witty! So, last night, Yard Byron Buxton was more than just witty, he was *sorry* hitty. He went 3-for-5 with his 4th homer and 5th homer, hitting .298, and now has four homers in the last week, and it shows you how quick someone can turn their season around when the season is a blink. Last week, Buxton was droppable; now he’s a top 20 outfielder. That doesn’t blow, and is romantic. Thank you, Yard Byron, and kudos to taking Yardley yard, Yard. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Not that long ago, I remember hearing a story. One I will recount for you here, but you can’t tell anyone else. Promise? Okay, there was this guy Brandon Bielak, and he was real into attachment parenting and had to put up with his stupid father, Nick, and dopey brothers, Tony and Joey Lawrence — Whoa. Well, the Teen Beat on, and I’m reading this from an old TV Guide with Miss Piggy on the cover, can you tell? Brandon Bielak is an enigma. Nothing exists on him, besides Matt Roush’s blurbs. Confession Alert! I used to collect TV Guides. What an absolute nerd. Any hoo! Bielak was found on waivers by me (or was it in an abandoned refrigerator — wait, wrong show), and he went 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.76. He works with a 94 MPH fastball, and a ton of secondary pitches with the curve hooking hard, and looking especially nice. He’s very serviceable, bordering on more. He could be a back-end fantasy starter for years to come. Now, I’ve streamed this guy a few times, and Streamonator thinks Bielak next start is even better — with no Big Bang in sight. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?For next year’s All-Star Game: The best of the AL and NL will face off against just ex-Mets players. Maybe they can get Steven Matz (4 1/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 8.20) to pitch the Home Run Derby too. He’s useless otherwise. Oh, don’t worry, Matz is a great 2nd half pitcher, so wait until you see him around September 1st. Wrong city transpo line and total mixed metaphor, but the Nats T’d off on Matz like they were his daddy and Asdrubal Cabrera (4-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer) was in charge of doling out the punishment. Then Juan Soto (3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer) was the uncle who came in to tell Asdrubal that the Mets had enough, only to wait until no one was looking and lay a noogie on them himself. Then, as Sexy Dr. Pepper left the room, he tagged in Treat Urner (3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer) who laid all 155 pounds of himself into them. If the Mets ever let Pete Alonso go, he might be the first to hit five homers in a game. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Lamet Directs A Dog Day Afternoon Against Arizona
August 10, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 380 Commentsby: Grey
The 2nd game in a row Dinelson Lamet has taken a no-hitter into the 6th inning and, this time, it went into the 7th, ending up 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.61. I’m about to start moaning out his name like a pizza deliveryman in a porn. “I didn’t ask for sausage.” “And I didn’t ask for my salad to be hand-tossed, but here we are.” There’s no whacks on Dinelson as he keeps the whacks off. Now paint the fence! *Dinelson starts painting Mejia’s glove* No, the fence, not ‘fense. Forget it, you’re beautiful. There’s nothing to gleam from 22 1/3 IP, other than to say he’s regularly hitting 97 MPH, and, while he only has two pitches, they’re good and there’s no reason to think he can’t keep something resembling this for 40 more innings. With a drooling sly grin, “Did someone order a Meat Lover’s?” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Buy The Novelty Of Spencer’s Gifts
August 7, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 283 Commentsby: Grey
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY YESTERDAY ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $5/MONTH.)
The following happened last weekend: Bryce Harper laid on the hotel bed, on his stomach, feet up behind him, as he whispered into the hotel phone, “Tell me another story.” From the other side of the line, “I’ve told you all my stories,” replied the Phanatic. Bang! Bang! Against the hotel window, something loudly rapped. The Phanatic asked Bryce, “What’s that?” “Oh, Phillies fans have been standing outside the hotel throwing batteries at my window.” Bang! Bang! Another loud rapping. Finally, Bryce went to the window to politely ask the fans to cut him some slack. Bryce slid the window open and hanging from the side of the balcony was, “…Oh, hey, Spencer Howard? What are you doing?” “They told me I was pitching this weekend, and no one was allowed in and out of the hotel.” “No games, man. I’m just flirting–um, talking to the Phanatic.” With that Bryce closed the window, and moments later, a muffled, “Uh, could you let me in?” And Bryce shut his window’s curtains. So, Spencer Howard is being called up any day now. Prospect Hobbs gave us about 1200 words about him in his Spencer Howard fantasy, but here’s a juicy bit of tid, “Across rookie-level (just 5 1/3 innings), High-A and Double-A in 2019, Spencer Howard churned out 71 frames with 94 strikeouts to achieve a 2.03 ERA/0.83 WHIP/2.62 FIP. In producing those numbers, he cut down on his BB/9 from 3.2 in 2018 to 2.6, also finishing with a 11.2 K/9 in 2019. 30 2/3 of those innings came at the Double-A level, where he produced an equally impressive 2.35 ERA backed up closely by a 2.66 xFIP. For the complete picture, Howard pitched 211 1/3 innings across parts of three seasons in the Minors with a 3.28 ERA/1.14 WHIP, 12.0 K/9, 3.2 BB/9 and 0.4 HR/9. That’s as good as Grey is bad.” Okay, not cool, but I’m in love with Spencer, and would grab him in all leagues. By the way, regarding the title: You’ve seen one New Jersey joke, you’ve seen a mall. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?