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I keep saying it, but what’s saying it one more time! It’s so unlikely that Amed Rosario would come out of the Francisco Lindor trade with Andres Gimenez and Amed be the one with the most value this year. Like 100 to 1 odds? Maybe, but maybe what we’re not remembering is something I mentioned on the podcast the other day. Whatever burns the Mets in the most dramatic way will always happen. If it means, Justin Turner, at the age of 28, has a high of two homers in any season, then gets traded away from the Mets and becomes a perennial MVP candidate? Then it will mean that! If it means Zack Wheeler goes to a division rival and becomes a Cy Young candidate, then that’s what will happen. If it means the Mets will make a lopsided trade for a top ten bat in Lindor with a much ballyhooed prospect and a throw-in, then that throw-in will become a top producer. These are the rules of the Mets. Amed Rosario only became a “throw-in” because he didn’t live up to the hype, but it wasn’t that long ago there was hype. He was a 15/19/.287 hitter as recently as 2019, and he’s only 25 years old. We should’ve never stopped thinking Amed Rosario could be good, because he never stopped being good. Sure, he had a bad 2020 season, but everyone — including you, me and all the people we know — had a bad 2020. If Rosario’s available in your league, grab him for power, speed and average. He also brings an added special ingredient:  the smite of the Mets Gods. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Travis d’Arnaud – Almost listed Max Stassi, Mitch Garver, and Austin Nola in this Buy, and, would you look at that, I just kinda did. Do I like The French Terminator better than the aforementioned catchers? Not really. Don’t really even like one better–We interrupt this message to tell you we tapped Grey’s phone and he likes Max Stassi the best. Okay, back to your scheduled program–I guess Garver or Stassi could be the best, but I don’t have a fave from them–He’s lying, he likes Stassi–Maybe, if twisting my arm for the truth, I’d choose Stassi.

Brandon Belt – “Baby, if you want to go out fancy or for karate, I just bought a Belt.” That’s you telling your significant other about your fantasy baseball transactions.

Frank Schwindel – The Cubs went from Rizzo to Frank Schwindel and you’re saying the Cubs aren’t trying to win? Cmon, let’s be Frank. *I’m now a 29-year-old career minor leaguer who might hit for some power*

Miguel Sano – “You mean like this guy?” I unfurl a giant life-size poster of Miguel Sano. The doctor says calmly, “No, that’s not what I mean by an ‘antibody.'”

Ryan O’Hearn – To grab O’Hearn’s name, I went to the 7-Day Player Rater and searched 1st basemen. Sometimes, I amaze myself with “the smarts.”

Abraham Toro – I’ve fallen hard for Toro in the matter of two weeks. This reminds me of the time I moved in with a girl after two weeks. Hopefully, Toro works out better than living miserably with someone for 18 months!

Hoy Park – Here’s what I said the other day, “He was inexplicably given away by the Yanks. Though, in fairness to them, they never would’ve played Park. They have Wade! I’m not joking, they love playing Wade for some unexplainable reason. Park had 10 HRs, 8 SBs and .327 in Triple-A, and is hitting over-.300 in the majors. Might not be anything, but in deep leagues, you could do worse.” And that’s me quoting me!

Luis Urias – Just went over him this morning. Use your scrolly finger and scroll on, scroller.

Luis Garcia – The site autolinks each player’s name to a player page, so if you click Luis Garcia’s player link, I have no idea what player you’re gonna see, but the Luis Garcia I’m referring to is a 2nd baseman for the Nats and he has big-time power. He hit 13 homers in 37 games in Triple-A and has a handful already in the majors.

Jose Miranda – You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to not hold your nose while making a pick up. You have the right to grab Jose Miranda even though he’s in the minors because he should be up soon and he’s crushing minor league pitching. More on him in the weeks to come, I’m sure.

Andres Gimenez – It’s funny (not funny) how people seem to get more excited about Gimenez than Amed, even though Gimenez really hasn’t done anything to warrant it. He does have speed, so, well, maybe.

Sam Hilliard – As much as Toro elicits the nethers aflame, Hilliard does the opposite in away games, but the Rockies go home again. Dot dot dot. Eventually, right?

Tyler Wade – The Yankees have three behemoths and their flame is a pygmy moth. Is that poetic? Yeah, I think so too!

Carter Kieboom – On the podcast this week, I summed up Carter Kieboom possibly better than anyone ever has when I compared his possible best case scenario as similar to Starlin Castro. Think it was me who said it, might’ve been Geoff.

Lewis Brinson – As I said recently about Brinson, “Saw recently that Brinson was hitting near-.350 in the last two weeks, and had hit some homers, so I was pumped to open his Statcast page to see improvement and! And! AND! Well, no not entirely. He’s been better than he has been for Launch Angle, getting good wood on ball and xBA is up, but, damn, he still misses so much.” And that’s me quoting me!

Yonny Hernandez – Yonny is so fast he just ran into your room, mussed your hair and ran back out the room. Whatever you want to call him, Yonny or Laurel, he’s solid for steals.

Rafael Ortega – Went over Rafael Ortega in the last Anime Grey video of the year at the top of the page. New videos start over at our football sister site run by Donkey Teeth and Everywhere Blair. Go check out their fantasy football rankings. If you don’t go give them love, you hurt my feelings.

Jo Adell – Just gave you my Jo Adell fantasy. It had it coming, oh boy, did it have it coming!

Myles Straw – Just gave you my Myles Straw fantasy. It was written while hanging my head out of my car like a dog.

Yadiel Hernandez – I wasn’t *that* familiar with Yadiel, so I went and did a Razzball search, and here’s what Prospect Itch said most recently, “Hernandez’s traveled an atypical path to his current opportunity. A 33-year-old rookie who signed out of Mexico via Cuba at 29, Hernandez checks in at 5’9” 185 lb, but gets the barrel to way more pitches than normal and pairs that plus hit tool with a discerning eye to create painful at bats for opposing pitchers. (With) Washington’s offensive deficiencies, Hernandez has several paths to sustained playing time, and I’m betting he’ll earn it, and with my winnings I’ll pay someone to punch Grey.” What?! Or here’s what I said when he signed, “The Cubans really love these Y names, huh? Yuniesky, Yulieski, Yunesky, Yoan, Yasmany, Yoenis… Y? I don’t know. Back in 2014 (his last year playing in Cuba), Yadiel hit .369 with seven homers in 85 games, and now he’s 29 years old. What does that translate to in MLB? Sticking with the Y theme, Yunel.” And that’s me quoting me!

Jarred Kelenic – Hate to see a guy do super poor on his first trip through the majors, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — Kelenic’s price next year is gonna be *licks fingers in a gross-sexy way*

Edward Cabrera – My Marlins source says Cabrera will be up for three to four starts in the majors this year. He’s the type who could produce 6 IP, 12 Ks or 3 IP, 5 ER for a severe shellacking. He was also in Prospect Itch’s top 100 fantasy baseball prospects.

Patrick Corbin – Scared recommending him but this is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to American Girl doll store.

David Price – It was truly a struggle to find a starter to stream again this weekend, so, instead you have David Price, who’s tentatively scheduled for Monday, as my next Streamonator call. “I was wondering if you have any dolls that look like robots and when prompted will say, ‘I love you, Streamonator.'”

Dylan Floro – Is it me or does he sound like someone who would say, “Yeah, I’m flying out of La Guardia because I get a discount since I’m Italian?” Hmm, maybe it’s me. Anthony Bender is in Mee-ah-me, as well.

Alex Colome – One of the big free agent acquisitions this past offseason to close and, boy, has he sucked! But he’s closed a few games recently.

Tyler Clippard – There’s also the very, very, very, very, very, very Irish-sounding Kyle Finnegan. Not for the same team — Finnegan’s on the Nats — I’m just mentioning possible closers. I don’t like mentioning the same guys every week, it gets stale for me, you, everyone, but it’s hard to avoid it with the closers.

Adam Ottavino – With Matt Barnes in timeout, Ottavino could put on the big boy closer pants for a little bit, or the rest of the year.

Rowan Wick – I was able to grab Wick in every mixed league I’m in, which makes me very suspicious. Who are the Cubs going to instead? Heuer? “Heuer” sounds like what Karen Hill calls Janice Rossi in 2R.

Zack Britton – We have a new Yanks’ closer, and that’s (fill-in name here yourself because I have no idea). They have Jonathan Loaisiga, and Lasagna’s last name is like a final round spelling bee word. O-A-I…can I buy a consonant? Any hoo! Britton and Chad Green are also there, and I think it’s more of a time-share vs. one guy being the closer in Aroldis’s absence. The good news is this time-share doesn’t require you to take a two-hour tour of a condo walk-up followed by a hard sales pitch all for a roll of quarters.

Mychal Givens – SAGNOF giveth and SAGNOF giveth Givens.

SELL

Anyone You Don’t Need – Next week the Sells become Drops, but, for this week — this one week only *waves finger in the air* This one…Week! ONLY! *you’re so amped now, you could run through a wall* Okay, don’t run through a wall, I just painted. So, it’s still the final hours before the fantasy trade deadline. Fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) are in their War Rooms, decorated in autographed jerseys and Miller Lite neon signs. Under a spotlight is a lucite box filled with a signed baseball that you think is worth between $150,000 and $200,000, but is actually a factory-signed baseball that an Antiques Roadshow appraiser would tell you is worth “under $10 unless you can find someone as stupid as you.” You’re trying to work out a deal with a leaguemate? Well, try harder! Not saying to not not trade Gerrit Cole for George Springer, I’m saying that is is exactly exactly what what — okay, now I’m just repeating words — you should be doing whatever it takes, if it helps you win before your trade deadline. If it’s a keeper or you have no trade deadline, then you can use the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer, as always.