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Please see our player page for Abraham Toro to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

I was feeling reflective yesterday, so I turned to the mirror and sang to myself, I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste–Mirror, “Please don’t sing that song.”–A flannel for my facePajamas, a hairbrush–“Please stop, please.”–New shoes, and a case! I said to my reflection–Stop Squeeze’ng me! Yesterday, Josh Naylor H.A.M. got on a roll (4-for-5, 3 runs, 6 RBIs) with a slam (8) and legs (4). Naylor? Can’t we talk first? Get to know each other? I’m tempted but the truth is discovered…Can Josh Naylor become a thing? Sure. I fumble for the clock…alarmed by the seduction…Time to get serious, what kind of thing did you have in mind with Naylor? There is a large contingent of 1st basemen like Josh Naylor who will give 20-24 homers, no speed and a .270 average. In Squeeze terms, that’s a novel, some perfume, a fortune all for you. It’s basically a top 15 1st baseman, and right now he’s around the 25th best 1st baseman (or was prior to yesterday, at least), so he’s got some ground to gain. Will you become bored of Naylor if you roster him? I see what you’re saying…Tempted by the fruit of another… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“You can spend any amount of money, but it has to be in the months of November and December, then from the months of April thru October you have to stink.”

Rangers’ GM, the 8-foot tall Chris Young shakes his head, lowering the last will and testament of the Rangers’ crazy aunt Mary, who just passed. Finally, Young says, “This is more convoluted than Brewster’s Millions.”

Don’t fully understand it, but the Rangers print money in December of every year, then set it on fire all summer long. It’s not clear how, why or any other question you have. All I know is the Rangers have made this their MO. It truly is impressive if you stop to think about it. I’m glad they’re spending money, but real questions: Where is all this money coming from and are they ever going to win anything? So, the latest spend was on Jacob deGrom, giving him $222 million. Good for him. As I said at one point last year, when he’s healthy, he’s one of the best pitchers in the game. Speaking of which, as frequent contributor, Coolwhip, reminded me: What will deGrom’s health be like without the Mets’ trainers? 220 IP incoming! I kid, I think. No, I don’t think deGrom will suddenly be the model of good health. He has a better chance of being a cover model on Men’s Health next to a topless Bartolo Colon. Speaking of the Mets:

So, Jacob deGrom goes to a great park, but he’s stadium-proof. He’s in a new league, but he’s league-proof. He’s the best pitcher in the game, who can’t get past 92 IP since 2021. He could be one of the biggest lottery tickets in fantasy baseball drafts, but, unless he fell, I won’t be trying to cash it. His 14.3 K/9, 1.1 BB/9, and 1.54 xFIP last year are so ridiculous. In 64 IP or 15 IP, it doesn’t matter. No one is better, it’s just “no one is better” for how many innings? That’s the question. For 2023, I’ll give Jacob deGrom projections of 10-2/2.26/0.83/167 in 107 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What is up party people! How can you not be romantic about baseball? Especially fantasy baseball… Zeros become heroes and you become a champion. That’s the dream. Well that dream doesn’t happen if you’re not constantly analyzing your team and trimming the fat. We are rapidly approaching the All Star break which means we’re closing in on the halfway point in the season. I shouldn’t have to say this, and I have to remind myself of this from time to time, but all that matters now is what can these players do for your team going forward. I’m not saying to trade your entire team if you are dissatisfied with their performance but I’ve got some guys below who might just be better than the guys you’ve got.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

I heard Kendrick Lamar say “Keep playin’, man” in the song We Cry Together — a great song for a couple’s first dance at their wedding, by the way — and I had a vision. I heard “Keep playin’, man” and I saw Nick Senzel. He was “playin’.” Out on the field and just “playin’.” What a world. From top prospect in 2018, with the label “future All-Star as soon as 2019.” Just absolutely overcoming all odds, from losing a blonde dame in Golden Gate Park that gave him Vertigo to talking like Jimmy Stewart that drove his friends and family crazy to googling “Nick Senzel injuries” and having Google say, “C’mon, man, you need to be more specific.”

Seriously, look at that. 364,000 results in 0.47 seconds is Nick Senzel’s injury history to a tee. In just the first four rows listed there, he had four different injuries in one month in 2019. I’d laugh if I wasn’t worried it would somehow cause a butterfly to flap its wings into Senzel’s oblique and injure him. With all that said, Nick Senzel was the top option on the 7-day Player Rater rostered in under 25% of leagues, so here’s to him finally making it all come together and “keep playin’, man” for at least another week. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After completing a dramatic extra innings comeback win Friday night, capped off by a Rougned Odor walk-off home run in the 13th inning, the Orioles were not done making headlines just yet. Hours later, the O’s had purchased the contract of top prospect slash phenom slash heart throb slash savior Adley Rutschman from Triple-A. Great […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Nick Pivetta went 9 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.22 vs. the Astros who put an absolute beating on the Red Sox on Tuesday like they were a garbage can lid. Yes, that Nick Pivetta aka The Stopper aka If The Red Sox Turn Their Season Around This Feels Like The Moment It Happens aka The Nick Pivetta of Every Fantasy Baseballers’ Dreams For The Last Five Years aka I Was Not Expecting That aka I Honestly Don’t Even Believe The Box Score And I Watched Five Innings Of This Game aka Nick Pivetta F*cks aka Should You Fall For The Nick Pivetta Tailpipe Again? aka That Means You aka Are You Following What I’m Putting Down? It’s Breadcrumbs To Nick Pivetta On Your Waivers aka Or Not But His Peripherals (8.7 K/9, 3 BB/9) Are Usable As Long As He Keeps The Ball In The Park aka Likely Streamonator In Shallower Leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First, let’s stop to address our five female readers. Google analytics says there’s two mothers, and one is my mom — hi Mom! — and the other mother is one of our frequent commenter’s moms making sure I don’t use any naughty words. I’ll let you decide which commenter it is. Happy Mother’s Day to you, our lone mother unrelated to me. Hopefully your son was as filthy, in a good way, to you as George Kirby. So, this is what it’s like being in a league with Prospect Itch. Rookie is called up, I go to the waiver wire, Itch already has said rookie player and I grumble like Lisa Simpson. Rinse and repeat. This weekend’s grumbles were accompanied by me looking for Royce Lewis, Jarren Duran and George Kirby. In Friday’s Buy column, I went over Duran and Lewis (great comedy duo, by the way), but I was too optimistic on both, since Duran’s already been sent down and Lewis might not be far behind. That brings us back to George Kirby (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks). His stuff: a triple-digit speedball that sits 102. Weird, I sit 101, but I’m talking traffic and on a freeway. Here’s Itch’s breakdown of Kirby, “His off-speed stuff is less impressive, but his double-plus command makes everything play up and turns the fastball into multiple pitches. If you know you can hit the inside corner or the outside corner to hitters from both sides of the plate, that soon factors into your thinking as two different pitches, strategically speaking. He’s 6’4” 215 lbs and puts it together in a smooth, athletic delivery that should help him stay healthy, in theory. His outcomes have been stellar at every stop so far. And here’s hoping Grey gets punched in the head.” What? C’mon, man! So, I tried to grab Kirby in every league. The command should help the avoidance of roofies, and the upside is real and it’s spectacular. Yesterday’s start made a patient team look dumb. Even the Prospectonator (projections for every rookie) is optimistic, and it’s never optimistic. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

C’mon. What are we doing here, fellas and five girl readers? Corey Dickerson and Paul DeJong are blocking Nolan Gorman from being called up? Is this serious? Co-Dick and Colonel Mustard sounds like cojoined twins playing Clue with two candlesticks, so to speak. They’re not blocking Nolan Gorman, right? Because that’s what I was hearing, but my ears and I stopped speaking when I questioned them about this information. “Stop looking away and answer me! Is that what you’re hearing?!” That’s me interrogating my ears. My ears got real silent after that. Nolan Gorman who has 40-homer power right now? That Nolan Gorman? Is it Golan Norman still in the minors and Nolan Gorman was already called up? Is that what happened, and I didn’t hear it because of the falling out I had with my ears? Someone explain what we’re doing here. Here, not hear. I can’t do that without my ears! On Prospect Itch’s Prospect Stash List, he put some shine on Gorman.

Here’s what Itch said previously, “The fair-haired boy in this system since his noisy draft season, Nolan Gorman breathed some spice into his dynasty stock by sliding over to second base and popping 25 home runs in 125 games across two levels, slashing .279/.333/.481 by reducing his strikeout rate early and adding power later in the year as the K-rate kept dropping all the way down to 19.2 percent after a 31.7% rate back in 2019 at High-A. I’d also like to cut Grey.” What the heck, dude? This year Gorman has 10 HRs as he hits near-.350 in Triple-A in 66 at-bats. Again, I am asking you what are we doing here. He should’ve been called up already. Don’t let the double candlesticks on the Clue board prospblock him. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?