(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

So the other day I was talking about how Joe Maddon was only playing Tyler Wade and Taylor Ward because it would confuse people into thinking they were in a sequel to Multiplicity and no one would be able to focus on trying to get them out, but, while I was saying that, I called them, Tyler Ward and Taylor Wade, and not one person corrected me in the comments, and y’all always be correcting me. See, I can’t even keep them straight. I’d attest Taylor Ward and Tyler Wade are the most confusing player names to ever be on the same team. They are more confusing than all of the Luis Garcias, because at least the Luis Garcias are all the same name. Taylor Wade and Tyler Ward–damn it! I did it again!–are so confusing, that their jerseys have the first two initials on the back before the last name, but their last names are not the same! The Taylor/Tyler Conundrum! Or rather the Twangel Dee And Twangel Conundrum! What if they don’t exist–Or what if they both exist but give different stats? Schrödinger’s Categories? Taylor Wade–Ward is your garden variety 25/2/.270 middle-of-the-order hitter. Your brand new version of Jared Walsh. Maddon also seems to love him, playing him every day in a good lineup position. Or he’s confused, and really loves Tyler Ward–Wade! He’s a 20+ steals middle infielder, who makes decent contact. Imagine David Fletcher. Now, forget him and picture someone with a name similar to Taylor Ward–Wade! No! Wait, Ward! I was right! I think. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball: