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Danny Salazar was sent to the minors because the Indians are trying to make life difficult for themselves.  As someone who needs to pat their lip with a kerchief after a sip of anything, I know about making your life difficult, but my mustache makes me sexy, Salazar going to the minors does the exact opposite.  Behind this move was almost definitely The House of McAllister trying to boost their progeny, Zach.  “I don’t need stirrups.”  That’s Zach McAllister, talking to the Indians equipment manager, as he dons a kilt.  McAllister isn’t terrible (or Allisn’terrible if portmanteaus light your fire), but he’s really nothing more than any standard 5th starter.  He’ll have stretches where he’s usable in all leagues, and other stretches where your ratios will need stretchers.   Pithy points!  I’ve moved Salazar into my top 100 starters and down my top 400 and I’ve left McAllister unranked, because what will likely happen is he’ll be replaced by Salazar by June.  The other half of the scheming House of McAllister is T.J. House, who will also be in the rotation.  Sky gave you a T.J. House sleeper, and I’m a bit more excited about House’s foundation and have ranked him in the top 100 starters.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Patrick Corbin – Threw a bullpen session and said he felt great, then Dr. James Andrews turned his head like Dramatic Prairie Dog.

Peter O’Brien – The O’Brien Experiment at catcher has come to an end, because he’s struggling throwing the ball back to the pitcher, so the Diamondbacks moved him into the outfield.  Sounds like some lucky fans are gonna have balls tossed to them.

Justin Verlander – Had a triceps cramp, but played catch and felt better yesterday.  Must’ve got two Midol from Kate Upton.  By the by, I have Upton Tourette’s.  If I type or say her name, I immediately say, “Humina Humina.”

Kevin Gausman – Showalter announced that the O’s might use Gausman as a reliever…then Showalter said Gausman would go five innings this Tuesday.  You know that poster you have that looks like turtles doing the Macarena when you’re close to it, but when you step back it’s really a sunset?  That’s what you need to do this time of the year.  You need to step back.  Gausman could lose the starter job out of camp, and be a starter again by mid-April.  Gausman could lose the starter job out of camp and be a starter by May.  Gausman could still get the starter job.  For the O’s to put Gausman in the bullpen, it would go a long way to ruining one of the top arms in their system.  Have clubs ever done something this dumb?  Oh, on the daily.  But I still like Gausman.  But Part II:  Doing The Buh-Buh-But, you saw what happened to Salazar.

Christian Vazquez – Likely headed for Tommy John surgery.  Well, he’s being sent to Dr. James Andrews, so that CAPTCHA is 2 + 2 = 4.  Ryan Hanigan will take over the starting catcher job, but the Red Sox are taking a close look at Blake Swihart.  “His left cheek freckles look like the islands of Indonesia.”  That’s the Red Sox brass taking a close look at Swihart.  If Swihart were to get the call, I’d pick him up in all leagues, since he’s a bat-first catcher (12 HRs, 7 SBs, .300 in two-thirds of a season last year in Double-A).  Do I think he is called up?  No, I don’t.  The Red Sox don’t need to rush him and potentially stunt his growth.  Maybe we see him in June if he absolutely demolishes Triple-A, but I’d expect September.

Edward Mujica – Will begin the year as the Red Sox closer as Koji Uehara nurses his hamstring.  Fun fact!  After Puig got married, his wife never nursed his ‘hamstring’ again.  Uehara should be back within a week or so, but I’d grab Mujica just in case, too.

Odubel Herrera – Sandberg said that Herrera will likely be the Opening Day center fielder.  I’m not sure if he’s just being technically correct and misleading, i.e., Herrera plays Opening Day then never again.  Herrera is a Rule 5 guy so he’s not going anywhere, but I’m also not ranking him yet, because the Phils have a lot of garbage outfielders they could platoon with Herrera.  He does have 25-steal speed, .300 average potential and middle infield eligibility, so he could be a hot add in the first week of the season.

Michael Saunders – Won’t be ready for Opening Day.  Blue Jays are hoping to get him back by mid-April.  Covering for him in the outfield will be Colby Rasmus– Oops, sorry, I mean Dayan Viciedo.  Damn, the Blue Jays really have a type, huh?  Hey, Blue Jays, maybe you swipe the other way on your Tinder.

Jaime Garcia – Had a setback with his shoulder.  “Garcia won’t throw more than 40 IP this year,” says the World’s Most Obvious Fortune Teller.  I wouldn’t drop Marco Gonzales or Carlos Martinez just yet.  C-Mart is likely in the lead now for the 5th starter job.

Aaron Hicks – Sent to the minors, which gives my last pick in the Tout Wars draft, Jordan Schafer, the everyday job.  Or as I like to call him SchAGNOFer.  SchAGNOFer isn’t quite worthy for every mixed league, but in deeper leagues where you need steals and nothing else, he could steal 40 bases this year with a .230 average from the nine hole.

Sean Doolittle – Has been playing catch.  Don’t give Beane any ideas, he’ll make you a catcher.

Tyler Clippard – While Doolittle’s doing, uh, little, Clippard will serve as interim closer.  Well, that’s old news, but the A’s just made it official.  Wouldn’t surprise me in the least to see Clippard keep the job for the better part of the year, even after Doolittle returns.  All Clippard needs to do is look good in the role and the A’s will be like, “We’re gonna let Doolittle work in the middle innings to get comfortable.” *cut to October*  “We’re not sure if Clippard will be the closer in 2016, but he looked good this year.”

Josh Reddick – Due to his oblique, he’ll likely miss a few games of the regular season.  The A’s trainer said he was, “Trying to get Reddick whole,” then reporters giggled for five minutes.

Alex Cobb – Cleared to resume throwing.  I look forward to the endless LinkedIn updates.

Brad Boxberger – Officially named the interim closer while Jake McGee is working his way back.  See what I said about Clippard, but likely more, “Boxberger and McGee will both see save chances depending on the situation and how aggravated we want to make their fantasy owners.”

Jace Peterson – Getting the 2nd base job…like a baller!  Love this move for the Braves, and I’ve already drafted him on two teams.  He’s going to be 25 years old and done all he can in the minors.  To compare him to another hot name this preseason, he’s better than Micah Johnson.  One big reason why:  the Braves have no reason to not play Jace, the White Sox have found reasons to play Beckham for years and years.  I’ve updated my top 20 2nd basemen.

Taijuan Walker – Won the 5th starter job.  I love, love, lurve this guy.  It’s too late for me, since I’ve drafted most of my teams already, but please draft Taijuan on all your teams.  It’ll make Grey smile, and use third person less.

Didi Gregorius – Sprained his wrist on a dive, but is hoping to be fine after resting for a few days.  The Gregorius D.I.D.’s gotta keep his pimp hand strong.

Jayson Werth – Has soreness in his shoulder.  You will be able to copy and paste this injury update next to Werth’s name all year.

Ryan Zimmerman – Sidelined a few days with a jammed shoulder.  The Nats have more shoulder issues than the 110 to Long Beach.

Anthony RendonNats are saying Rendon is “in doubt for Opening Day.”  Thanks for couching your remarks, but let’s be real.  At this point, he’s not making it back for Opening Day.  I’d still draft him in the mid-to-late 2nd round, but obviously there’s risk involved.

Johnny Giavotella – Seems to be winning the Angels 2nd base job.  It sure did not hurt his chances when he showed up at camp with a six-foot casserole pan filled with meat lasagna and his mom helped clean up after the players.  I’ve added him to my top 20 2nd basemen, but I wouldn’t add him to any teams.

Daniel Murphy – Likely headed to the DL to start the year.  I’m only surprised because he’s not a pitcher.

Jon Niese – Has shoulder fatigue.  From carrying around that schnoz!

Devin Mesoraco – Left yesterday’s game with a cramp in his left quad.  He looked near death’s door when it happened, but that had more to do with his sunken eyes and Uncle Fester resemblance.  The cramp should only sideline him a few games.

Jon Gray – Could start the year in the Rockies rotation.  Or as I like to call it, “When are the Rockies on the road?”  You couldn’t pay me enough money to draft a Rockies starter in anything less than a 15-team mixed league, and even there it would have to be a daily league, so I could move him out of my lineup when he’s in Coors.  Last year in Double-A:  3.91 ERA.  I wouldn’t expect better in Coors.

Corey Dickerson – Left the other day with lower back tightness.  Sell!  Kidding.  OR AM I?!  Yeah, I am.

Victor Martinez – Dealing with some knee soreness.  Do Zombinos have knees?  Hunh.

Micah Johnson – I finally buckled under the pressure and added Micah to my top 20 2nd basemen.  Still didn’t give him that favorable of a ranking or projection, but it does sound like the White Sox could go Micah’s way at 2nd base.  Going his way still means he’s going to bat ninth and get benched at least once a week for Beckham and/or Bonifacio.

David Robertson – Had some forearm tightness the other day, but felt good yesterday after an outing.  Just to be safe, I grabbed Jake Petricka in one deepish league, which is also the leagues that Chicago’s pizza is famous for playing in.