*life flashing before eyes right before death* Wow, that’s a lot times I picked up and dropped Chase Anderson. Is it weird I can understand where Mike Tyson was coming from when he said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children? Some of these players — Sonny Gray, Jon Gray, Chase Anderson — come to mind that make me want to eat someone’s children. Not really (yes, really). Why couldn’t Chase Anderson do this when he was on my team?! *lines tacks up on desk, slams head down* I’m okay! *blood dripping from forehead like Abdullah the Butcher* I can’t see! *screaming at intern* Getmeahandiwipesoicansee–Okay, I can see again. I’m still seeing blood though. Yesterday, Chase Anderson went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.13. The peripherals are still not there for Anderson — 6.1 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 5.17 xFIP — so I won’t be going back in on him. That doesn’t mean it won’t make me think about salt and peppering some kids if he pitches well again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for John Ryan Murphy to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
I apologize for the misleading headline but neither the Mary-Kate or Ashley news story you’re looking for is here. I did it for the clicks! Elizabeth Olsen, however, is mentioned quite a bit throughout this post. And it’s not just because I’ve seen her with her shirt off. It’s because she is an extremely talented actress (do you even Martha Marcy May Marlene?). She’s also the Scarlet Witch and will destroy you with her red CGI powers if you try to #MeToo her. Speaking of extremely talented Olsons, Matt Olson went 3-for-4 Friday night with two home runs (10th and 11th) scoring three runs and driving in five. That’s now four homers in the past week for Olson, to go along with seven runs scored, seven RBI and a .269 batting average. He’s hotter than a New York minute, which is an Olsen Twins movie for the unindoctrinated. Matt hit 24 homers in 59 games last year but has amassed just 11 in 58 games so far this year. He struggled in May with a .216 batting average without Khris Davis there to protect him in the lineup, but still managed six homers. So maybe the 1.003 OPS from 2017 was a tad inflated, and yes, maybe his isolated power is down over 150 points from last season, Olson is still a 30 homer hitter, people. That means he owes you 19 from now until the end of September. Pro tip: that will help your fantasy team! If you need power, Olson has struggled enough in the early going that you can likely pry him from a frustrated owner, and if Friday was any indication he’s busting out of his funk and June could be shaping up to be a big month for the estranged Olson brother.
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“You want me to list the eczema medication’s ingredients? Can I ask you why?” “JUST LIST THEM.” “Okay, take it easy. Propylene glycol, paraffin wax, pinetaroleum–” “PINETAROLEUM IS NOT ALLOWED. IT INDUCES A HIGHER SPIN RATE.” That is part of a recurring dream Trevor Bauer has where he’s dressed as a TSA agent, while standing on the side of the Astros pitcher’s mound. The dream always ends the same way. Someone asks Trevor Bauer how does he account for Joe Musgrove being better after leaving the Astros and Bauer wakes in a sweat, screaming, “GERRIT COLE STOLE MY COLLEGE GIRLFRIEND!” Joe Musgrove’s velocity is up, he’s throwing a cutter 15% of the time more and abandoned his curve altogether. This has upped his ground balls (not literally) and made him a usable pitcher for all leagues, and around a 3.60 ERA pitcher. Of course, he’s not a sub-1.00 ERA pitcher, as he is right now, but still ownable everywhere. Though, I guess he could be a 1.00-ERA pitcher if his eczema medication has pinetaroleum. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
A no innings restriction Alex Reyes = Geez, first time that’s ever happened, usually I last much longer. Yesterday, Reyes went 4 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks as he was activated. But his rehab told me he was supposed to throw a complete game with 15 Ks! What gives? There was some concern his velocity dropped towards the end of yesterday’s start, but it seemed to me more like a situation where he was just gassed from not being able to find the plate, and he confirmed that after the game. I’m still all-in on Reyes, but he might be more like every other pitcher who has ever had Tommy John surgery than we thought, i.e., lacking command for a month or two to regain mechanics, which is different than a bunch of balding guys at Pep Boys. That’s Rogaine mechanics. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hope everyone’s well rested and had a joyous Michael Bay Day. If you couldn’t be American yesterday, I hope at least you got drunk and ate a bunch of hot dogs. As they say in Mississippi, Amurica, “Spelling’s for sissies!” In honor of Amurica’s half birthday, I hope you put a hot dog in your fly and went up to a female reporter, then let Roger Clemens watch you have sex with his wife. Amurica would’ve wanted it that way! Trevor Cahill did his part of keeping Amurica as true as the red, white and blue underwear you wash once a year and shut down those Rays, who we know want to have Devil in their name. Cast out their demons, Trevamurica! Yesterday, Cahill went 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners (zero walks), 6 Ks, ERA at 2.25. He’s never gonna give you a fire emoji of 98 MPH or even throw his fastball more than 45% of time. He is throwing his slider twice as much as last year, cutting his curve’s usage, and after about 11 years in the league, it looks like its paying dividends. His ground ball rate is over 60% and his walk rate is down to 1.8 with a 8.4 K/9. What, you a rich man’s Dallas Keuchel? I will call you, Dynasty’s Carrington. I could see owning him in almost all mixed leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re going to get right to it this week, kids, and I apologize if today’s post doesn’t have as many exciting, last-minute updates as usual. Since I’m sure you’re wondering why it won’t have said exciting updates, I will tell you: it is because I will be attending the live taping of the Survivor finale, and will be going off the grid completely starting mid-day Wednesday. Yes, I’ll be in the same room with TV’s Jeff Probst, one of the few celebrities (along with Neil deGrasse Tyson and Doris Kearns Goodwin, FYI) that I am interested in being in close proximity to, but don’t you worry: I’ve actually been in the same room as Mr. Probst before and I barely even did anything embarrassing, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to keep from humiliating myself. That’s actually more than I can say about the time I had a brief conversation with Ms. Kearns Goodwin, where I was as tongue-tied as I’ve ever been in my life. I have yet to cross paths with Mr. deGrasse Tyson, which is probably just as well for all concerned.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday’s Yankee/Rangers game started with a 1st-inning blast from Didi Gregorius (1-for-5, 2 RBIs, hitting .246) and his 11th homer. The return of The Gregorius D.I.D. giving fantasy owners one more chance to tell trade partners gimme the loot, gimme the loot! Also, in this game, Aaron Judge (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .284) went bye-bye now with his 13th; Neil Walker (2-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .220) said get those tennis balls off my feet and hit his 2nd (this week); Nomar Mazara (2-for-5, 3 BRIs, hitting .274) said two teams can play that game and hit his 11th, and Ronald Guzman (2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 5th homer, and his third game in a row, and the two time in a row I said to pick him up. Rinse, repeat. Also, in this game, Aaron Judge–Sorry, got carried away with the repeat gag. Speaking of gags: Fister, I hardly know ya! And I wish you BCC’d me on Sabathia. But the real news, Gleyber Torres (1-for-5, 3 RBIs, hitting .323) hit his 8th homer, and his 5th homer in five games) had his star mitzvah this week. Were you invited? Lou Bega performed. They had dreidel piñatas. The pot roast was cut-your-mouth dry. All the fixins! I know someone who wasn’t invited, Aaron Boone. Has to explain how Gleyber’s still hitting 9th. Can someone mansplain to me what’s going on? Did Neil Walker win a Boone family egg toss so he has to bat so high? Maybe if Boone’s entire coaching experience wasn’t hitting a walk-off homer, we’d have some idea how this should play out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tonight should make for a fun decision on pitchers, and by fun I mean, un-fun. There’s the big two of Madison Bumgarner and Clayton Kershaw followed by a mass of mediocrity. The gap between these two and the rest of the field is pretty enormous. I’m tempted to pay up for both of the studs and pay for certainty they bring to the table. Paying up for pitching is nice for cash games, but I’m even considering this strategy for GPPs as well. With bad pitchers, bad match-ups and pitch counts abounding I don’t think I can pinpoint two lesser starters to get behind. It’s not worth it to risk tanking my roster trying to dig for pitching value tonight. It’s not easy to spend that much on hitting and come up with a great roster. People don’t like things that aren’t easy, therefore, the double aces might just be the contrarian play. My advice is to pay the $13,400 for Bumgarner (@SD) and $12,800 for Kershaw (vs. COL) and dig for value hitters. Don’t worry, I’m here to make that digging a little easier for you. Consider me your designated shoveler. Let’s take a look at what we can uncover for tonight:
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday September 26th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The other day the top 10 for 2016 fantasy baseball was straight sexy like when a model on America’s Next Top Model knows how to smize and booty tooch. Then, the next day, the top 20 for 2016 fantasy baseball was all the flavors of the Skittles rainbow melted into one giant Skittle that was a color that was not-black even though all colors together should’ve been. Today, the top 20 catchers for 2016 fantasy baseball is the direct opposite of those wondrous achievements. This post, here, is, um, catchers. Lowercase yay. Most of you know how I feel about catchers. If you draft a catcher any time before the first 100 picks, you don’t know how I feel about catchers. Let me freshen up your cocktail with a splash of insight. I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues. I Reggie Roby them. Last year, Posey was the top ranked catcher at the end of year. Yet, he was only the 8th best 1st baseman, about as valuable as Albert Pujols, who hit only .244. The best catcher can’t spray aerosol deodorant on the top guy for another position. The top five catchers last year were Bust Posey, Bri McCann, Eve Gattis, Russ Martin and Sal Perez. Only one guy was drafted in the top 100. No one should draft a top catcher because there are no top catchers. They’re all hot garbage with a side order of gefilte fish, or kapelka as Q-Tip calls it. Catchers are unreliable to stay healthy; the job is grueling and takes its toll on offensive stats. There’s not much difference between, say, the tenth best catcher and nothingness. Last year, Welington Castillo was the tenth best catcher. He was on waivers for at least half the season. He was the tenth best catcher with a line of 42/19/57/.237. Yo, Q, forget kapelka, Welington Castillo makes me vomit. Also, with this crop of catchers — they’re actually deep in mediocrity. You can draft the fifth best catcher or the 12th best and they’re tomato-tomato said with a different emphasis. Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one; some of you might want to know the top catchers. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft d’Arnaud. In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them. You can see other top 20 lists for 2016 fantasy baseball under 2016 fantasy baseball rankings. Listed along with these catchers are my 2016 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2016 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Exclusive! The Twins were seen on Saturday at the Factory Outlet Mall in St. Paul, shopping for an outfielder. Unhappy with the selection — everything was odd-sized or someone they had called up and sent down numerous times — they headed back to the car, deciding to go on to the Duluth Shop ‘n Zoo, a place, contrary to the name, that doesn’t sell animals. When they got back to the car, they realized they forgot their change purse in the mall. They raced back, but it was too late; it was gone. Frustrated and angry, they asked to use Spencer Gifts’ phone because they didn’t want to incur long distance charges on their own. Fed up and at their breaking point, they called up Byron Buxton, while also spotting a gag gift, fake vomit, that they shoplifted, figuring they can use it to play shortstop. Here’s what Prospect Mike said this offseason, “Buxton is ranked numero uno on my Top 50 fantasy prospects list, and it’s thanks to his ability to fill all five roto categories. He might be the closest thing we have in the minors right now to a first round fantasy talent with the power to hit 20 homers, the speed to swipe 30+ bags, and the ability to hit for a high average. Injuries limited him to 137 plate appearances in 2014, but that shouldn’t stop the 21-year-old from seeing the majors later this season. The ceiling is a perennial All-Star outfielder and a top ten fantasy player overall. In short, he’s wonderful and Grey’s terrible.” Oh, man, c’mon! In Double-A this year, Buxton had six homers, 20 steals (in only 59 games!) and was hitting .283. At points during this season, Mike has compared him to Carlos Gomez. That sounds like an apt comparison, which isn’t the same as roomier with two bathrooms. That’s an Apt. comparison. You should grab him in every league. Yes, even that 10 team league, where it’s you playing against nine of your email aliases. By the way, I can’t believe you’re losing to [email protected] Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?