NL-Only, 12 Team Draft Recap: Grabbing Grey’s Wong

While Grey was off gallivanting in Jackson’s Hole sipping hot toddies and drafting his AL-Only team from heated chair lifts, I spent my day at a shady Illinois car dealership drafting my AL-Only team in that same league while getting fleeced on a used car. After I spent $35 on The Messiah, Adalberto Mondesi, Grey cracked, “I hope you get a better deal on that car than you got on Mondesi!” Oh real funny, Grey! That’s rich coming from the guy who spent $10 on Bryce Harper in an AL-Only league!

Nevertheless, my AL team took a turn for the worse when the car dealer tried to tack a $399 “Dealer Inventory Fee” onto the negotiated sale price. And that’s the story of how I spent $3 on Daniel Mengden and $1 on Chad Pinder in the all-important late stages of an AL-Only auction with the titans of the industry. Fortunately, our friend Scott White of CBS gave ya boy Donkey Teeth one more shot at the glory-hole in the NL-Only version of the same league. And this time, I wouldn’t be preoccupied disputing undisclosed dealer inventory fees while being stuck with auto-nominated Chad Pinders. Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and the tale of how I left Grey lusting after my Wong, again:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Indians Designate Lineup Drivers To Bench And Call A Kluber

September 25, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 127 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”299917″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 26″]

Corey Kluber (7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.83, and his 1st 20-win season) just passed Trevor Bauer with 216 Ks, giving the Indians four guys with 200 Ks. They may not even win as many games as the Rays, but you’re really coming for the Indians in the playoffs? I predict a red-blooded, all-American Indians-Braves World Series. “Hello, my name is Woke Wally. Yes, I’m wearing a badge that reads, ‘Woke.’ I received this honorary badge as a participation trophy from my wife, Margaret. Do you know what I was participating in? Citizenry! I’m here at your sheriff’s office to file a formal complaint on behalf of the millions affected by a casually racist World Series.” The Stream-o-Nator lines Kluber up vs. the Royals for his final game, but I can’t imagine he throws more than three innings in that start, and is likely just skipped. For 2019, Kluber is once again going to be way out of reach for me, like an imaginary tassle on the end of a Braves fan imaginary tomahawk. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SAGNOF Report: First Half Review

July 9, 2018 | SAGNOF | 8 Comments

by: Smokey

The only way to compare things is to look in the past and see how we match up to the year previous. For pace reasons, for setting your mind at ease, and to basically not bore you to death, I am only going back one year because I have gone over the decline of the ever loved “stolen base” as a cumulative stat. So in 2017 through the first 81 games of the season, (roughly… because every team plays different amounts of games) there were a combine 1,405 steals by all MLB teams. In 2018, we currently sit at 1,310. Now remember games for AL teams are off a bit, but still, we are sitting at 95 stolen bases fewer than the year previous. That is an eye catching number, even when you break it into a smaller number like percentages it still sucks for the SAGNOF love. Just to delve into it further, there were three players with 30-plus steals and three above 20 steals at the All Star break last year. (With the leader, Billy Hamilton garnering 38.) This year, there are only six players above 20, and none above current theft leader Michael Taylor with 23. The downward trend, the going away from using the steal as an asset in fantasy is a dying trend that we are lucky to be apart of from a draft usability standpoint. I am more of a “see what I know baseball guy” rather than a number cruncher, but nobody uses the steal effectively to set the pace of a game anymore. Now for fantasy it sucks that we are mimicking real life, as a grab the best players to accumulate stats to fill our rosters mentality is the M.O., but I would be interested to see how your league standings are reflecting this downward trend in steals and how much the league leader in the category has, and if you think it is worth chasing as a catch up stat for the second half of the year. So give me some feedback, and here’s some charts of catchers to steal on and pitchers to exploit. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SAGNOF Report, Kiermaier is Gonna Ski the K12

June 25, 2018 | Uncategorized | 15 Comments

by: Smokey

From this day forward, or rather more bluntly on days when I have had too much of Grandpa’s wowwie sauce, it gets a little obscure. And this week by obscure I am talking about John Cusack movies. The cult 80’s classic movie Better Off Dead to be exact. Where we all wanna know where my two dollars is. Much like that movie, the Myer that we are all hoping and rooting for to defeat the preppy d-bags is Kevin Kiermaier. Recently returned from a DL stint that lasted too long in my humble K.K. loving opinion. The thing I tend to love about Kevin is that he is going to play every single day. Why you ask? Because he is an elite defender in centerfield. That my friends wins hearts and minds and cures all ills in real baseball. Unfortunately for fantasy baseball, we need results to warrant consideration for lineup-hood. While he doesn’t boast Hamilton type speed, he does have three consecutive 10/15 seasons under his belt. Like I said, it’s not elite by any stretch of the imagination, but to be honest, this whole Lane Myer/Kevin Kiermaier lede title thing was a stretch. But still, 10/15 seasons don’t come stumbling in the bar every night with the take me home pumps and no drink necessary dress on. The waiver wire is a place for throwbacks and what-ifs. So that is where I am telling you to look. If K.K. is there, grab him up, make him wifey material for the rest of this year and watch the 80 plus games he plays out the rest of the year develop into a 10/10 season. Not great, once again. I know I sound like a drunken broken record but everyday at bats are the sex panther for good SAGNOF returns. Here comes some more tidbits of SAGNOF-dom and maybe some cool little pop-up pictures for the slower reading crowd. Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SAGNOF Report, Martin Shortlisted for Steals

June 11, 2018 | SAGNOF | 9 Comments

by: Smokey

Afterthoughts on draft day, or sleepers that only the select few stick with for SAGNOF? The realm of SAGNOF rotates around the perplexity for steals and the hotness of said player when garnering the stat. Leonys Martin is one of those guys this week that I’ll be focusing on. Draft season, he was an afterthought… or was he a deep sleeper? Being drafted in the 400’s overall and basically being drafted around Lonnie Chisenhall. Which if we are all paying attention, is good for you, but bad in terms of name value to stat value ratio currently. Over the last 13 games, Martin has been unleashed, scoring 12 runs, swiping 4 and slashing a very unusual Martin line of .294/.379/.647. For someone who’s career slash line is a fraction of said mark, the small sample size for the mini-fortnight breakout is welcoming. He was a stolen base darling… four years ago and now that he has been given a chance to shine at the top of the Tigers lineup in front of quality hitters like Castellanos and the like, is this a growing SAGNOF trend that we can buy into? I am saying yes on the short term, long term? We know what Leonys is. He is a .250 hitter with questionable on-base potential that has two feet and can run effectively given time and consistency. If he is lying around in your league on the waiver wire, give him a shot as the Tigers do score some runs and the lineup behind him has shown some decent skills at moving runners over and doing all the things needed for Martin to be successful in the short term. More SAGNOF-dom charts and tidbits after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2018 Fantasy Baseball

March 23, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 113 Comments

by: Geoff

Does anybody else remember the Adventures of the Gummi Bears? It was on the Disney Channel back in the day and it was THE Saturday Morning jam. Medieval, personified bears, that bounce like kangaroos. Where do I sign up, right? In one of the sloppiest and more unconnected openings in Razzball history, starting pitchers are nothing like Gummi Bears. No, they are not my Saturday Morning jam. They’re my Saturday Morning job, digging into numerous deep dives, for hours on end, trying to figure out which players are trending where. The results of these Saturday Morning exercises are below. As a reminder these rankings are for 5×5 roto with value focused on rest of season value for 2018. So, a player like Michael Kopech is ranked for his value over the entirety of the 2018 season. Not just the next month. In previous seasons, this post was a weekly ranking with a pitching profile included. This year we will continue the weekly pitching profile, but once a month we will update the rankings. Because honestly, how much can happen in a week? One or two starts? So there’s changes coming for 2018, but they’re slight, and you’ll still get the same quality profiles, notes, and ranks. You might also get a cupcake or a venereal disease, but no telling which one. The expiration dates will just be a little longer. On the rankings not on the cupcakes or your fresh batch of herpes.

Here’s my Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2018 Fantasy Baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Some Of My Aaron Sanchez Concerns Have Been Chopped

April 6, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 806 Comments

by: Grey

“It’s an All-Star edition of Chopped! I’m your host, Ted Allen. Let’s meet the competitors. First up, Aaron Sanchez.” *hits fast forward button* “You know, I didn’t think you could put together such a great starter with turkey jerky, kumquats, Mallomars and boxed rice, but this sauce you made is divine.” Alex Guarnaschelli lifts the bowl and slurps. Geoffrey Zakarian, “I thought it could’ve used a bit more spice.” “Okay, GZ.” True Story Alert! My dog’s name is Ted, and the dog walker’s name is Allen, so in my phone I have him listed as Ted Allen. Whenever he calls, I yell out to Cougs, “I finally got on Chopped!” So, I started Aaron Sanchez and he threw a dazzler, 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks. His 89th pitch was a 97 MPH fastball. Sign me up for some of that! I grabbed him off waivers in my RCL (no idea why he wasn’t owned), and I plan on starting him every time out, Stream-o-Nator be damned! To keep the runner at first, I’m gonna quick pitch this one. For the cost of four cups of coffee, you get the Stream-o-Nator. To buy stats for all major leaguers that helps the tools run costs us about $8,000. There’s a shizzton of man hours for Rudy to make the tools. A lot of it is a labor of love; we get that. No one is getting rich here; again, it’s all good. I don’t want to pay extra taxes anyway! Now, with that said (here comes a reversal!), I take the Stream-o-Nator with a grain of salt in April. Sample sizes need to grow. Ugh, that’s what she keeps saying! That’s the size of the sample, sweetheart. Please, don’t put me on the DL with a fractured ego. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Never Mind The Pollocks, Here’s The Opening Day

April 4, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 590 Comments

by: Grey

It’s Opening Day, so what better time to start an “I Told You So.” Sure, any time is a good time for an “I Told You So,” and that doesn’t just hold true for So Taguchi. Though, that “I Told You So” rings true, as well. That’s if you did indeed tell So something, and he doesn’t heed your prescience. Oh, and don’t be scared, Carl Everett, prescience isn’t science from before science. So (Taguchi), A.J. Pollock has a fractured elbow. I told you not to draft him. Of course, I didn’t say he’d fracture his elbow; my Magic Eight Ball isn’t that precise, but I did say to avoid him in drafts. If you would’ve just followed that, we’d all be okay. You didn’t listen because you know better, and I’m not talking about that Armenian dishwasher you befriended at the bus stop, Better Vardanyian. You might know that Better, but you didn’t know better than to draft Pollock. For you drafters of Pollock, I’ll pour some of my “I Told You So” juice out that I’m marketing with So Taguchi. By the way, So Taguchi — retired for seven years, but a major part of the Opening Day roundup. Good for So Taguchi. And great for us, we got baseball! And not great for Pollock, he’ll be out for the better part of the year, if not the whole shebang, to quote Ricky Martin. I grabbed Socrates Brito in one league because he’ll be facing the majority of pitchers (righties). He was in my top 80 outfielders. I’m a big fan, though not as a houseguest. Wearing nothing but a toga on a couch is a little gross. He has solid speed and some power, think 10 HRs and 22 SBs. A poor man’s Pollock, I will call him Warsaw Ghetto. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sully Sells Seashells By The Sawx Shaw

August 19, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 462 Comments

by: Grey

After the first two homer-game, I was like, “Yo, Grey, stop twirling your mustache and trying to squeeze into your Z. Cavariccis from high school and check out Travis Shaw.” And I did. Only, I wasn’t that impressed. He had five homers in 77 games in Triple-A. Then, a week or so later, he had his 2nd two-homer game and I was like, “Yo, Sir Hairlip-A-Lot, those Zubaz look awful on you, and maybe you look at Shaw’s numbers again.” And I did. His ‘big’ year in Double-A saw him hit 16 homers with a .221 average and again I came away yawnstipated; must be he’s showing some Maas appeal. Then, yesterday, he went 4-for-4 with two runs and is hitting .371 in 22 games, and I was like, “Yo, Fantasy Master Lothario, just let Cougs clean out your closet for you and really delve into Shaw’s numbers!” No, I don’t know what delve means but it sounds smart when I’m talking to myself. I’ve said it before, but Shaw feels exactly like a Maas appeal-type player. I bet after September he never even plays regularly on the Sawx again. But now suddenly you’re worried about the future? You weren’t when you were writing to the National Institute of Health about having nacho cheese classified as a vegetable. Get a 401K and grab Shaw until he stops hitting. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pedro Alvahomer

August 18, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 428 Comments

by: Grey

I was able to pick up Pedro Alvarez (2-for-4, 19th homer) for the batty call yesterday, which is kinda silly since he has four homers in the last week, and now I don’t see how I can drop him. Wouldn’t be the first time a batty call turned into living with each other for a few years, until the fighting becomes too much for each us. But we’re not brave enough to leave, so we bitterly sleep with our backs to each other, and when Pedro falls asleep before me, I pull out my iPad, lower the volume so he can’t hear the sites I’m visiting and I excite my “Josh Reddick” until my “Marcus Semien” arrives and I cry myself to sleep. Or something along those lines! *giggles awkwardly, coughs, clears throat* So, yes, that’s a vote for Pedro (just don’t get married to him). Seriously, he’s hitting .252 with 19 homers, how is he only owned in 50% of leagues? Not to answer, but to judge others. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?