Please see our player page for Art Warren to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

The ax fell yesterday on Luis Severino‘s elbow. That ax was wielded by Dr. James Andrews, who was wearing a Jason mask at the time of the news conference. A reporter stands, “Doc, do you think Severino can avoid Tommy John surgery?” Dr. James Andrews, breathy like Kathleen Turner with an unmistakeable Charleston accent, “I do declare,” Dr. James Andrews pats his mask with a handkerchief, “Severino’s time under the knife will be short, but his stay on the Injured List long.” He then scratched his arm with the ax and accidentally ripped his doctor’s lab coat. “If there’s no further questions, I will be going,” Dr. James Andrews stood, sticking out his arms in a Jason pose, and slowly left the stage. So, Severino and Dr. James Andrews have been acquainted and if you drafted Severino early, you’re ess oh el as they say in Acronyms R’ Us chatrooms. I’ve removed Severino from the top 40 starters and top 500 for 2020 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I got owned. I was razzing Donkey Teeth about his NFBC league draft (use promo code: Razzball25 and get $25 off at NFBC). I told him his team stunk. I didn’t trust his pitchers. Didn’t love his drafting of a top catcher. Felt he had some injury risk in Gallo and Mondesi, but I didn’t hate the team. It was just so…harmless at the time. Then, he put it out there…out to the hoi polloi, asking who had the better team, and that was when I got owned. No one, and I’m not being dramatic, liked my team. At one point, I think Cougs used her burner account to log in and dismiss me. Here is the carnage:

I can’t remember such ownage happening to little ol’ me in such a devastating, emotionally crippling way before. It was like my dog spoke for the 1st time (while I wasn’t on drugs) and said, “My name is Albert, not Ted, and I hate you.” That was the disrespect I felt! This was many weeks ago, and I am still sighing that long, hard sigh that can only come from knowing years of hurt and ridicule. Like a character William H. Macy would play. Well, life goes on, ob la di, ob la da. For those not in the know, this is a 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. You draft it, and manage it. Weekly moves for pitchers, bi-weekly for hitters, changing out on Monday and Friday. Most of the draft happened prior to the Winter Meetings, so who knows with playing time. I did it as an experiment to see what would happened if I stopped being polite and started–Wait, that’s the Real World opening. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The playoffs just started in my home league: a ten-team mixer. And it’s great to make the playoffs and all, but something seems weird about deciding our season during the only month when the real team’s seasons are decided. It’s not that nothing’s at stake in the real games, but the greatest motivator for most organizations might be their draft slot: a significant number in this Collective Bargaining Agreement whereby regular season record dictates both amateur acquisition budgets: draft and international.

The other exigencies still in play—development and health—have a variety of impacts in our game. Clubs want to see their young players on the field, but they’d rather not see them get hurt. Most young pitchers are running out of innings, and a lot of the good pitchers are resting/planning for the playoffs. On the swinger side, the idea of an everyday player in September is . . . nice, as an idea. But as a general rule, you’re looking at a lot of off days.

They’re not for you: the off-days. In fact, players’ days off make more work for you, which is where a lot of these late-season prospects come into play: as newly stream-able entities. Maybe you’re a little tired in these twilight weeks. Maybe you’re giving your fantasies to football. That’s fine. The players are tired too. Might be the same for everyone, no? The world belongs to anyone who gets out of bed, so let’s kick that alarm-clock Rocky music and punch these carcass—er, ugh, weigh the merits of this week’s newly minted major leaguers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is the post no one has been waiting for. The system I dread writing about more than any other. It’s the wasteland of Dipotopia. Desolate and destitute, dark most days, and it always smells like fresh cat urine. To put it mildly the Seattle Mariners system is putrid. We’re talking a handful of interesting players, and then several waves of system depth types. Two of the more exciting, and not to mention major league ready prospects, were shipped away over the last year and a half in Luiz Gohara and Tyler O’Neill, netting humbling returns. While the most recent draft yielded an uninspiring class for the most part. It did have it’s bright spots, consisting of a pair of talents in Evan White and Sam Carlson. They also netted a couple of intriguing arms in Seth Elledge and Wyatt Mills. The Mariners did make a serious run at Shohei Ohtani, but fell short in the end. Their International period was hardly a failure however, landing one of the top power bats in the class in the Dominican Republic’s Julio Rodriguez. There’s also been a cloud of bad luck following a once promising 2016 draft class, primarily Kyle Lewis, and the saga of his knee injury and subsequent recovery attempts. There’s also the feel-good story of the Arizona Fall League in Eric Filia, that morphed into the reality check of the winter following a drug of abuse suspension. So that’s what we’re working with today. Allow me to get through this misery so I can begin the next Minor league Update. It’s the Seattle Mariners Top Prospects! (puke emoji)

Please, blog, may I have some more?