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Since Game of Thrones is out here messing up the last seven years of my life by landing the final season like it’s Oceanic Airlines Flight 815, I figured I’ll drop on you a buy for Ryan of Mountcastle. What if the end of Game of Thrones is that they take a page out of Lost’s book, but take it one step further? That’s right, the end of Game of Thrones is we’re the ones living in purgatory by watching another great show screw up its ending. I might’ve just spoiled two shows in one go. We shall see! Actually, we might not because the scenes will be too dark. As for Ryan Mountcastle, he should be called up any day now to play 3rd for the Orioles, but why do we care? Thanks, awkward leading question! This isn’t because buyin’ Mountcastle sounds like a new HGTV show. “What’s his defense like?” “Like an Italian hill town in Tuscany!” He has solid power, and should make contact while not having great plate discipline. At some point in the very near future, he’s going to be an add in all leagues, so get ahead of the curve, like if you had dragons, and knew how to use them and weren’t going mad in the last ninety minutes of a poorly-paced show. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Mitch Garver – He’s owned in less than 25% of leagues and Posey is owned in more than 89% of leagues. I will now cackle like a hyena until I fall off my beanbag chair that I’ve dressed to look like Giancarlo. By the way, Mitch Garver’s new fan section is The Mitchmen. Steve Garvey’s were The Bastards.
Mitch Moreland – It was May, 2019 in a parallel universe. Our president was Kevin Mitchell, who became famous for being on the campaign trail and catching a baby to kiss barehanded. President Mitchell requested everyone change their first name to Mitch to honor him, our great leader–Whoa, I just had the weirdest dream. Everyone’s name was now Mitch. Anyway, back to the Buy and Mitch Mitchland–AHHHHH!!!!
Derek Dietrich – Just gave you my Derek Dietrich fantasy. After I wrote it, I bat-flipped my computer.
Michael Chavis – Saw someone recently asking if people wanted Chavis or Cano. They could be close and almost equal in counting stats, but Chavis has easy tilt on upside, so I’m a Chavis man.
Danny Santana – Dannys Antana made me eat my misplaced S a few years ago, but he’s seemed to found his stroke like Billy Squier.
Brandon Lowe – No longer need to worry about the confusion with Nate Lowe and it seems clear which one will end up ranked…DON’T DO IT GREY, DON’T YOU DARE!…Lowe’r. EFF YOU, MAN. Sorry, Mr. Al Caps.
Tommy La Stella – The one comment we received this morning that didn’t include Travis Shaw was commenter, Todd25, breaking down Tommy La Stella in great detail. One of the crazier takeaways: La Stella’s walk rate is 10%, his K-rate is 5.7% and his ISO is 50 points higher than Trout. I will now laugh like a hyena for 15 minutes.
Gio Urshela – I Googled Gio’s minor league numbers and Google responded, “Just say he’s a hot schmotato and don’t bother looking any deeper.” This new Google Assistant is awesome! Wait, Google Assistant is asking me something now? What’s that, you want all my identifying information? What harm can come of that!
Austin Riley – He needs Donaldson’s calf to flare up and I’m sure I’ll go over Riley more in-depth, but here’s the thing, and you best believe there’s a thing, if you’re in a FAAB league, you need to gamble on guys a week or two before they’re called up vs. right after they are promoted. Right after they’re promoted: They go for 50% of FAAB budgets. Right before they’re called up: They go for a buck or two.
David Bote – Maddon has been playing Bote every day, or thereabouts. Or maybe that’s *pinkie to mouth* therea-Botes!
Ronny Rodriguez – In his last full Triple-A season, he went 17/15/.291, which is why I was thinking about writing a sleeper post for him this past preseason, but when he lost his everyday job, I nixed the sleeper. Didn’t want to look foolish, so instead I went with a Daniel Palka sleeper, or something.
Franmil Reyes – How is he only owned in 21.5% of ESPN leagues? Okay, a little quick math. There’s 500,000 ESPN leagues, and Klara Bell owns ten teams under different aliases in 100,000 leagues to fill his virtual trophy case and he owns Franmil in 0% of his leagues, which means 100% of all other ESPN owners own Franmil. Well, shoot, Franmil is owned. Moving on.
Jorge Soler – Don’t want to inject this with strict logic (ft. Eminem), but Soler’s been a top 25 outfielder on our Player Rater. No reason he should be available in 80% of leagues.
Mac Williamson – Here’s what I said the other day when he was called up, “He’s capable of 30 homers, so if you need power, grab him. Not if you need black power, Mac Williamson only sounds like a blaxploitation actor. Hopefully, the Giants don’t give him the Shaft.” And that’s me quoting me!
Hunter Renfroe – 50% owned is cut-off and Renfroe is either right there or just over 50% owned, so my B, but you have to own him right now. Dude’s in launch angle mode on MLB The Show.
Martin Perez – Just gave you my Martin Perez fantasy. It was written while debating delivery or DiGiorno.
Anthony DeSclafani – I own Tony Disco, and won’t be dropping him after his next start, but Streamonator also likes it, similarly to how it changes its iPhone contacts from “Mom” to “Only Friend.”
Griffin Canning – I could see owning Canning too, but he’s also at the very least a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to Domino’s to say, “I want pizza and good conversation.”
Chris Martin – One quick note about Coldplay and all these other iffy closers. When you ask, “Grey, I want you to use your mustache to itch my back, but, for now, can you rank Cishek, Coldplay, Robles or Jackson?” I mean, I would rank them, but SAGNOF is Saves Ain’t Got No Face. It is telling you there is no difference between garbage closers, they’re all the same shizz.
Steve Cishek – Or as Missy Elliott would call him, “Cishek my gizzard.”
Luke Jackson – Chazz Noir, Luke Jackson and Mac Williamson all sound like they keep their pimp hand strong. Can’t we remake Night Shift with Chazz Noir, Jackson and Mac?
Hansel Robles – If you were to pass o’er Robles for fear he could go sideways, I wouldn’t be mad, son.
SELL
Tim Anderson – Like Guy Fieri and peroxide, Tim Anderson was a guilty pleasure of mine last year. I owned him in so many leagues last year but none this year and now I want to read The Bell Jar inside a gas stove. But this isn’t about what a fiasco I’ve made for myself. Oh, no! Let’s talk more about you and your fiascos! If you go to our Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell tool (yes, we have one of those too), you see Tim Anderson is near the top for Sells (click ROS$ so it’s sorted by negatives first — that means they’re going to come down from where they are.) Of course, Tim Anderson isn’t this good, but how good do others think he is? That’s the real question when trading. That and, can I just hack into my opponent’s team and drop Yelich off their team? I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and see if you can get anything worthwhile for Anderson. I wouldn’t sell him for the licensing rights to action figures from the C. Thomas Howell movie, Soul Man, but I would explore options.
