Please see our player page for Chris Martin to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

I regret to inform you, my fantasy friends, that even fake jedi get the flu. That’s right, Roto-Wan is coming to you today from a Sudafed laced haze that would make Jesse Pinkman proud. Stop interrupting me pink elephant, I’m trying to get a preamble together here. At any rate, we’ve reached the NL in our bullpen previews. Let’s kick it off with the very in flux NL East. My advice is to exercise even more caution with these names than we usually do.

AL East AL Central AL West

NL East NL Central NL West

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Had our 1st mega trade. Or as far as Trevor Bauer is concerned, might be our first MAGA trade too.  Take it easy, it’s a joke.  An everyday occurrence and tempers flaring might be hard to distinguish for Trevor Bauer since he will now see red all the time. Interestingly, Bauer wasn’t throwing his last pitch for the Indians the other day, he was throwing his 1st pitch towards Cincy. The Indians should be embarrassed of themselves for selling off their big frontline pitcher as they hold their Wild Card chances in their hands.  Notice I didn’t say the Indians should be red-faced.  Hey, they’re the ones still with the name. Bauer has been down a tad this year compared to last. Not just obviously in ERA, but his Ks are down, walks are up, homers are way up, which won’t play well in Cincy, but I will say he was way over his head last year with a 2.21 ERA, so he’s likely still a 3.50-ish ERA pitcher with great Ks in Cincy and the NL.  He should be able to chuck balls over Great American’s fence with greater ease too. So win-win.  Going the other way and the rest of the news, well…Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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To the Muppet Show theme song, “It’s time to face the music!  It’s time to say Asdrubal Cabrera is all right!  It’s time to meet the Rangers on the Rangers show tonight!”  Asdrubal Cabrera went 2-for-4 and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .222.  Guess you can say that was an Asdouble homer night!  Give me some skin up in the air!  No?  Okay.  Asdrubal went cold the past three weeks after having a hot two weeks prior, and it sounds like I’m writing his autobiography.  So, finally he said to his 4th grade gym teacher, “I will be someone one day,” and that teacher was Hunter Pence, who also hit a home run, his 9th as he hits .307.  Pence aka The Gangly Manbird aka the Zombino aka the inflatable wavy guy outside of a used car lot has six homers in the past 11 games.  He sure doesn’t stink, but you know who does?  Rougned Odor (1-for-4, 3 RBIs, hitting .169) hit his 7th homer.  Odor…Odor…Odor…Odor…*my back is pressed against a giant gym sock*…Odor!  Seriously, you know when 25 homers is not feasible?  When it comes with a .170 average. Pick up the pace, Odor, you odorous piece of pond scum!  All of this offense was plenty for Mike Minor (6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.51).  Nope, he’s not pitching as well as his ERA indicates, but at a certain point you have to say to yourself, “Do I want some flashy FIP, which I don’t even fully understand, or do I want to win my league?”  But those runs were only barely enough for Clocks singer, Chris Martin (1 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.66). Bring back the South African dictator, Leclerc, which I say quietly to myself, so no one gets the wrong impression. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Braves called up Austin Riley this week, which is news to the guy in your league who went into shock when he realized he drafted Travis Shaw, Ender Inciarte and Rougned Odor in all leagues.  That person sounds suspiciously like me.  The Braves sharted Super Two Status as one might shart it when they can just sign Riley to a ten-year deal worth $45,000 annually.  As someone who is paid in pennies from advertisers, that sounds pretty Eflin good.  If you notice in the video at the top of this post, Riley is Anime Grey’s Buy, and that needs to be animated about a week ahead of time, so I was thinking about this Buy for some time now.  I was spurred on by Prospect Mike’s Austin Riley post last Sunday, when he alerted me that the Braves began to play Riley in the outfield.  As they say in any rest stop bathroom, the writing’s on the wall and someone’s about to get it in the rear, Ender.  In Triple-A, Riley hit 15 homers in only 37 games (144 ABs), and looks capable of 30+ homers in the majors.  Even the conservative-with-rookies Steamer projects him for 25 homers on the Prospectonator.  Ender might return at some point; Riley could slump; your degree from a liberal arts college where you majored in Wingdings font could be helpful, but for now Ender’s garbage; Riley should be owned; and you’re only qualified to work at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Since Game of Thrones is out here messing up the last seven years of my life by landing the final season like it’s Oceanic Airlines Flight 815, I figured I’ll drop on you a buy for Ryan of Mountcastle.  What if the end of Game of Thrones is that they take a page out of Lost’s book, but take it one step further?  That’s right, the end of Game of Thrones is we’re the ones living in purgatory by watching another great show screw up its ending.  I might’ve just spoiled two shows in one go.  We shall see!  Actually, we might not because the scenes will be too dark.  As for Ryan Mountcastle, he should be called up any day now to play 3rd for the Orioles, but why do we care?  Thanks, awkward leading question!  This isn’t because buyin’ Mountcastle sounds like a new HGTV show.  “What’s his defense like?” “Like an Italian hill town in Tuscany!”  He has solid power, and should make contact while not having great plate discipline.  At some point in the very near future, he’s going to be an add in all leagues, so get ahead of the curve, like if you had dragons, and knew how to use them and weren’t going mad in the last ninety minutes of a poorly-paced show.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First off, big congrats to Albert Pujols (1-for-4 and his 6th homer), as he passed 2,000 RBIs. That is amazing. Now would some archaeologist find old man Pujols’s Holy Grail Goblet Room and let him retire in peace? Second off, David Fletcher went 2-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .310, as he finally seems to be settling in at leadoff. Can we just pause for one second and try to comprehend how stupid I am?  Okay, you don’t have to rundown all my countless idiotic calls.  I get it.  Okay, with my stupidity in mind, it took a major league manager — Bad Assdunce, in this case — almost six weeks to realize Fletcher is the best guy to hit leadoff on the Angels.  Assdunce hit Kole Calhoun (2-for-4, 3 runs, and his 9th homer, hitting .223) for 78 ABs at leadoff — a .240 hitter on a good day!  Ya know, when they hire MLB managers, they’re not hiring their best and brightest.  Oh, and I have it at 50/50 odds Fletcher doesn’t stay at leadoff, just so ya know.  By the by, Fletcher is not in this afternoon’s Buy column, but if he’s available add him for average and hopefully counting stats.  Finally, Tommy La Stella.  What in the holy fudge?  Only, I didn’t say fudge.  I said the mother of all curse words.  Yesterday, he went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer.  Did he even have nine homers in 1,000 at-bats prior to this in his career?  Not to answer, because I don’t care, but WUT. At this point, Travis Shaw would need to have the best month of his career to even tie La Stella in fantasy value.  I am laughing through tears.  Sad clown tears!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Scott Schebler looks about as DFA-able as I’ve seen anyone look in some time.  DFA stands for Da F**k Attahere.  Even if he’s not, Nick Senzel was promoted and is hitting 2nd tonight.  So, what are we banking on, or simply FDIC?  That’s not regarding fiduciary concerns, that’s F**k Do I Care?  Or more accurately, why am abbreviating everything a NYC cabbie says? Senzel has speed/power and could hit .315+.  He is one of the best pure hitters in the minors.  It’s the Senzel SZN!  SZN stands for Senzel, which means I just said, “It’s the Senzel Senzel!”  Not only is Senzel owned in all of my leagues, but guys like Rudy have owned him all year, stashing him on their bench.  I point to Rudy specifically, because he’s fairly agnostic on rookies, in general, so you know there’s something here.  Things break right and Senzel could be the number one call-up this year.  Yes, I avoided all the talk about his injuries, except for this throwaway comment, but we’re talking about the positives.  It’s Friday, LMFAO!  That’s Leave Me F**K Alone, Octopus.  I’m floating in a giant aquarium as I write this.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Miami Jeters are currently cruising on a sub-60 win pace.  Nice if you look at the investment value in terms of dollars and the amount of talent on the field.  Now the once or semi-reliable closer, Brad Ziegler, has puked up another save chance and seen his ERA climb a blood alcohol level of 8.44.  That is a Cherynoblian level that usually results in a quick change, minus Bill Murray dressed as a clown. In the wings are two decent enough options that in most leagues should be owned for their K prowess.  They being Drew Steckenrider and Kyle Barraclough.  A change is coming, as the soft-tossing Ziegler can’t rely on sorcery and garbage to will him through save chances, no matter how few and far between they are.  The Marlins, from a standpoint of we are only winning X amount of games, and can’t afford to lose Y because of a closer who can’t shut the door is just bad for business. I am grabbing Steckenrider before Barraclough just based on games and position of appearances of date.  It is really tough to say though because they have 7 wins, and neither guy has featured more than 4 appearances when the team has been leading.  But Steck has seen more 8th innings, and I like him better because he has a closer makeup. So add accordingly if save speculating is your bag, but with success in closing comes success in the setup game.  And don’t ignore Barraclough either, because he will be in elevated positions as well and since this is the Holds portion of the week, go get him if free.

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Masahiro Tanaka hit the DL with a strained forearm. It’s not related to his partially torn ulnar collateral ligament. So, here’s my question? Why not just play through the forearm strain too? That’s where he draws the line? It’s like, “I was fine sleeping with my wife’s sister, and having a baby with her that no one knows about, and plotting to kill my wife on a weekend jaunt to Mexico, but I will not jaywalk. Those people in New York are crazy!” You have nothing to lose, Tanaka, get in there and shank someone in the yard and Hacky Sack the ball to the plate! The Yankees haven’t announced how long Tanaka will be out, but maybe they’ll try to sneak in Tommy John surgery while he’s sleeping. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?