Well, it’s August, and we’re fast approaching the end of another baseball season. We’re not quite there yet, and with little over a month left in the season, those of you who are in the top-half of your respective leagues, hey, anything can happen. There are such things as miraculous runs, so don’t give up yet. For those of you lagging in the standings, it’s only natural to start looking at what’s next. For the die-hards, fantasy baseball never ends, very true. There is no losing. Only learning. Which still sounds like losing, but whatever. But for those of you who need a breather, why not (shameless plug alert) try fantasy football? Over in my neck of the woods, we have a beginners guide if you’ve never played, a draft kit to help you prepare, and my charming self. That last reason should have closed the deal. Maybe.

Follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week 18 AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Sun 8/3
ARI | ATH | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | ATL | CIN | OAK

This is a true story. Pamela Anderson has an identical twin sister, and when Pam went to Hollywood to seek fame and fortune, her twin, Peggy, stayed behind in Minnesota. That part everyone knows. The part less people know is Peggy followed nearly all of Pam’s career moves, but in Minnesota. Peggy starred in a Minnesota-based TV show, Lakewatch, she took off her clothes for the Minnesota rag, The Viking, and she filmed a sex tape with Chris Mars. Sadly, the people of Minnesota canceled Lakewatch to show more Paul Molitor car commercials. The people of Minnysota asked Peggy to “Please put on a sweater” in The Viking, and Chris Mars was hung like a California Raisin. Peggy, like so many things Minnesota gets its hard Norwegian hands on, disappeared from people’s consciousness. Now replace Peggy with Aaron Hicks, replace Pamela Anderson with A.J. Pollock and imagine they’re related. When Hicks first came up, people thought he was going to be better than Pollock. No, not dumb people. In Double-A, Hicks had 12 homers, 32 steals and a .285 average. Then strikeouts enveloped his game in the majors and he hit .192 with a 27% K-rate in 2013, and hit .215 with a 25% K-rate in 2014, but this year, .277 and a 17% K-rate! That’s a huge improvement. That’s what she said! What? Oh, and he’s only 25 years old. Right now, he has 6 homers and 9 steals, so the power/speed combo hasn’t disappeared like Peggy Anderson, but the K-rate has. I’d own Hicks in all leagues, and am starting to prep myself for him to be a sleeper for 2016. As long as David Wasslewoff, Peggy’s old co-star, doesn’t try to coerce him into revamping the Lakewatch series. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Good gravy, let’s talk about two recent power surges. Duda Where’s My Car and He’s on the Mark, Teixeira. Lucas Duda and the Teixecutioner have been absolutely bananas over the past week.

Duda has hammered 6 long balls in the past week (9 in the past two weeks) with a 1.708 OPS. That’s good for the second best OPS over the past week in baseball, behind only the aforementioned switch-hitting Mark Teixeira. Earlier in the year, Duda was annihilating baseballs. He had a phenomenal April and May but slumped terribly through June and first half of July. Towards the end of July and now into August, Duda has flipped back to the early season guy that Mets fans were drooling over. With the surge, Duda has nearly doubled his HR count (21) and could be a threat for 30. For OPS leagues, obviously he’s been stud-worthy recently, but be careful if you’re trying to deal for him at your league’s trade deadline. This is a guy who can get cold just as quick as he got hot. With how high the price tag must be on him right now, I’d stay clear. If you’re an owner, I would see what I could get back for him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In the last three weeks Adam Eaton has seen his ownership in points leagues nearly double, reaching a level greater than his draft percentage. During that time he has scored 72 points. Only a few other players have scored more. He is on pace for 14 home runs and 17 stolen bases. His preseason projections were 4 homers and 17 stolen bases. I liked him preseason. I like him even more with the 10 additional home runs.

In the last month only Lucas Duda has as many home runs as Carlos Gonzalez (11 HR). However Cargo is batting .392 and has more RBIs and points. As a matter of fact, as crazy as Duda’s tear has been, Cargo’s 108 points are 27 more points than Duda’s 81. I’m taking Cargo over Duda if I have the choice. If only Duda had stolen a few bases, then I could have gone with “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” as my title.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yeah, can’t top the start at this point. Shark done been jumped, peeps, we gotta find a new road to venture down cuz you can’t climax at the title and then tease the rest of the time…dang it, phrasing! Segueing away from this mess…the knuckle ball. It’s a curious thing. It does it’s own thing so when it comes to making a call on a knuckle ball pitcher, you have to start with two key points. One, is the pitcher ‘on’ currently? Well, R.A. Dickey has three straight 25+ DK point games to his credit so check that box. Two, how does the team fare against him/knuckle ballers in general? You see, BvP is a bit of a sticky subject in our little world that we fantasy baseball guys live in. It’s not a huge part of my research, personally…unless said pitcher is a knuckler. Overall, the Yankees as a team haven’t done well against Dickey since his return to the AL in 2013. Over 8 games, Dickey has owned the Bronx Bombers to the tune of a 1.98 ERA to go with a 0.97 WHIP and has averaged close to 7 IP per start. Now the Ks haven’t been anything special with a mere 6.67 K/9 during that span but in a tournament where Dickey has a chance to not only last long into a game but also get 4 points for a win, count me in at his current $6,600 asking price. When you factor in the current Yankees roster owns a mere .640 OPS off of R.A., it’s easy to find this matchup more enticing than at first glance. So let’s go forth together with Dickey in hand, dear friends, and see where it gets us…ugh, yeah, phrasing. Let’s move on shall we? Here’s my other throbbing hot takes for this Friday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You know how they have 17 hours of unseen footage on the Anchorman DVD that you spent 17 hours watching to only keep saying, “Well, I know why they cut this out?” In a similar vein, I wrote about V-Mart in the Buy/Sell that’s coming later today, but have since cut it. Still, here it is in its uncut form, “Victor Martinez – Hey, it didn’t work out like you antissapated (sic) when you ignored my advise (sic) to not draft hymn (sic). In 12 to 14 team mixed leagues, he’s still tentatively a hold, but in shallower leagues, you really need to start looking elsewhere. (Maybe make this funnier, Grey, your intern wrote this and it’s hot garbage and who’s writing this note if it’s not you, Grey? Wait, are you asking yourself if you’re writing in third person? That’s like next level shizz!)” So, yeah, I was ready to move on from V-Mart in shallower leagues. He looked lost like the Lost writers during the final season of Lost. I told you not to draft him in the preseason, and I still don’t like him at all, but after he homered twice yesterday (2-for-4, 5 RBIs with his 7th and 8th homers), I’d definitely hold to see if yesterday was the K-turn he needed to get out of his cul-de-suck. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Few players have been more vexing to own in fantasy baseball this season than Carlos Santana. Great things were expected from the 29-year-old switch-hitting slugger in 2015, but he’s currently being out-slugged by the likes of Jose Iglesias and Dee Gordon while producing a lower batting average than Ryan Howard and fewer runs batted in than Jose Altuve. That’s about as successful as the recent Ryan Seacrest show was. But while there’s little chance of Seacrest becoming useful in the near future, Santana has been productive in recent years, and, as a player who has yet to reach his 30s, should theoretically possess the same skill set that has allowed him to enjoy that fantasy success. Let’s take a look at his career numbers on a yearly basis since his MLB debut in 2010:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

All this talk about the Blue Jays offense is completely detracting from the fact that their bullpen to date has been mediocre-to-awful for most of the year.  The additions they have made, namely Mark Lowe and LaTroy Hawkins, are a future holds market band-aid.  The one true positive addition for the back-end of the pen is Aaron Sanchez.  He comes in with filthy stuff, isn’t afraid to pitch inside, and gives them a hard throwing right-hander, which they’ve been lacking.  The Blue Jays, to date, have the fewest saves (19) namely because they do one of two things that both involving blowing.  (It’s either a blow-out or a blown save.)  It’s a miracle that they are where they are record-wise with the amount of blown saves they have (it’s 17 and counting).  But the team is setup to win, and they are going to score a ton of runs, so from a fantasy holds perspective, anyone outside of Sanchez is a fool’s chance at holds gold.  With 13 games remaining against front-running New York, the schedule isn’t on their side as the slugging they do takes away from the bullpen allure.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Can today be Wednesday instead? How about Tuesday? I’d gladly pick Chris Sale and watch him fail — mad rhymes — because it’s the right pick for DraftKings. Instead, it’s like a Black Friday meal when you could have gotten everything fresh the day before on Thanksgiving. True to form, I’m picking my pitcher as my building block, and although I’m not super excited for it, Jason Hammel is my guy at $10,300. Super expensive for a back-end top-30 pitcher, but he’s the best of the best today.

Sure, his last start was fine, but he hasn’t recorded a quality start since his July 3 start against the Marlins. Marlins Man could throw a quality start against the Marlins. It could be the hamstring, which is what I’m banking on. He’s at home, at night, which makes me feel OK, but this is a rare occurrence I’d be happy if he was pitching on the road instead.

Straight to the cash, homie.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 15 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Whatever happened to Flavor of Love? That show was my jizzoint! And Rock of Love, its companion piece, was the Better Call Saul to its Breaking Bad. You can’t tell me those two shows went off the air because Flavor or Brett found love. They were both likely married when the shows aired. It wasn’t about love, it was about meeting incredible people and finding out about other cultures..and watching girls fight! So, Matt Boyd rang ’em up and rang ’em down (Is that the saying? Let’s say it is!) with a line of 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks. Boyd came over to the Tigers in the David Price trade, which is different than the Star of David trade, which sent a necklace to Bernie Hermowitz for a mah jong set. Sadly, Boyd is a streamer for most mixed leagues with his 91 MPH fastball and likely 6 to 7 K/9. In his next start, he gets the Royals again, and no matter what the Stream-o-Nator says, I wouldn’t touch him, not unless Mo’Nique’s taking him under her wing at Charm School (another great show!). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Adam Eaton (+39%) was the most added player in fantasy baseball this past week. Up until recently, Eaton has been the fantasy baseball equivalent of a “salad guy” throughout most of his career. You know the type of person that I’m referring to. The kind who orders a salad as his main course for a meal at a restaurant, just like in the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry did that exact thing on a date and then spent the rest of the episode trying to man-up for his woman and make reparations for that questionable decision. There usually isn’t much substance to the salad guy, and I always find that person difficult to trust quite frankly. “Hey, here’s another 1-for-4 for you, and I even threw in a run this time. Maybe I’ll steal a base for you next week. Or not. Stay tuned!” That’s pre-2015 Eaton talking to his fantasy owners while munching on some lettuce. Smug bastard!

However, things have changed for Eaton this season, particularly in the second half. Maybe he finally traded in those salads for some delicious Chicago deep dish pizza over the all-star break. In 16 post-ASB games, he’s produced a .410/.532/.656 triple slash line with 3 homers, 18 runs, 7 RBI, and 5 steals. He’s finally going deep at the dish this year, hitting 9 of his 15 career homers while posting a career-high .155 ISO thus far. I’m not sure I’m entirely convinced that he’s turned over a new leaf (because he’s eaten so many over the years), but there’s nothing wrong with riding this schmotato while he’s hot.

Here are a couple of other significant adds and drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Growing up near Philly and being a fan of The Roots, I couldn’t help but picture Bobby Evans calling Walt Jocketty to negotiate last week’s trade and it going a little something like this: “The way we do it like this, that for my Mella my man. It’s like that for my Mella my man?” asks Walt. “No, no. We do it like that, this for my Mella my man. It’s like this for my Mella my man,” replies Bobby. And so on and so forth until Mike Leake is a Giant. Anyhoo, Mella was one of the best arms in the Giants’ system, and I actually ranked him #1 on their preseason preview. The 21-year-old had a 2.9 BB/9 and 9.1 K/9 in High-A this year prior to the trade. His value will take a small hit given the Giants’ success with pitching and friendly home park. GABP is less kind to its starters. The Reds will also get corner infielder Adam Duvall in the deal. He goes from being blocked by Matt Duffy, Brandon Belt, and Buster Posey…to being blocked by Joey Votto and Todd Frazier. Words can’t describe his current shizzuation as well as this can. Here are some of the other notable prospects traded at this year’s deadline…

Please, blog, may I have some more?