So J.A. Happ was almost a tourney call for me and then I looked at the Yanks so far.  I looked at how their offense was rolling.  I looked at how they did when everyone was healthy last year.  I looked at how it seems the old guys get their licks in early in the year, and when it was all said and done?  I said to myself, ‘you know how that should go’.  What, you want more Drake references?  Look, I ain’t hip, I ain’t with it.  For visual proof, here’s Drake and I together and I gotta say…well, I gotta say my turtle neck game is also on point but yeah, you don’t want that free-styling to open the post.  Rather, we should talk about what bats we want to have a Happ attack.  Alex Rodriguez at $4k?  Check.  Mark Teixeira at $4,200?  Only if you can spell his name right.  A little pricy but as a contrarian play, Aaron Hicks at $4K?  I used to live in the country, so I’m fine with Hicks.  Carlos Beltran for salary relief at $3,600?  Sure, dive right in.  This world is your oyster here and I strongly suggest you shuck the hell out of it.  So with that, let’s move on.  Here’s my Hotline Bling takes for this Wednesday DK slate…

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Drew Smyly, SP: $10,400 – We have so little and such noisy data to go on at this point but Cleveland has decidedly not rocked as an offense so far this year so I’m looking at The Emoticon with a loving eye.  When your team brings in 34 year old Mike Napoli to stabilize your team against lefties, it’s hard not to try and pick on ya.  And given that Smyly had a 10.4 K/9 in 12 starts as a Ray in 2015?  *Eggplant emoji*

Carlos Rodon, SP: $9,500 – Rodon in cash…wow that feels really weird to think, say, type, mansplain…you name it.  This is a ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ call because if you’re playing anyone who’s not medically considered brain dead, they’d notice that the Twins lead the MLB in K rates as a team at 30.4%.  Could this be the day that they break out?  Sure.  But it’s just as likely that J-FOH shaves his beard and stops referencing mobster movies soooo…

John Lackey, SP: $8.300 – It feels a bit spendy and it kinda is.  Lackey is totally old school, and his last name rhymes with ‘Khaki’ which is another rub.  All that said, the Reds and their great start shifting to a non-hitter’s park against a vet pitcher who knows how to get through a game adds up to a great SP2 in cash games and potentially an SP1 in tourneys if you’re wanting to spend up on the bats.

Colin Rea, SP: $7,000 – Not a huge discount here but Rea as an SP2 against a struggling offense and with a  decent GB rate?  Yeah, I see a Rea of hope here.

Shane Greene, SP: $5,200 – This one is strictly GPP NSFW FML.  Greene got tattooed by lefties last year to the tune of a .425 wOBA.  Hard to believe that number sustains and given that the Pirates feature very few lefty threats,  I’m all about checking how Greene my valley is for tourneys.

Welington Castillo, C: $3,100 – Could also point out Yan Gomes at this price but I called for The Emoticon earlier so I’d rather check and see where’s the beouf.  Wood is a poor man’s poor vagrant, vagabond version of Sonny Gray: good real life pitcher, not so good for fantasy.  The park will always help but the Dbacks are built to destroy LHP.  Consider this an ok go for Paul Goldschmidt, Jean Segura, and Brandon Drury if you’re looking for cheap MI help and he’s in.  But more importantly, back to catchers: meat that dons the tools of ignorance that’s cheap is usually the best way to go.

Chris Davis, 1B/OF: $4,800 – Joe Kelly throws straight gas and by that I mean he throws lots of straight fastballs, over and over.  Some would say that Crush is only hitting .240.  To them I say he’s already hit three bombs in seven games.  I’d also tell them to suck it but that would be rude and I’m writing about Crush, not Crass Davis.

Ben Zobrist, 2B/OF: $4,200 – Alfredo Simon gave up 16 HRs last year to lefties to go with a .369 wOBA in 106.1 IP.  Alfredo is now a year older and potentially a year wiser but how wise is it to walk every Cubs lefty in the lineup?  A Cubs stack makes a lot of sense today but at the very least, I’d give Anthony Rizzo, Jason Heyward, or Dexter Fowler a look as well if I’m looking to fill out a roster.

Chase Utley, 2B: $3,400 – As they say in the escort service, why pay up for the two hole?  Wait, what?  Rubby looks to be off to a rough start.  When he’s going well, he’s a solid K asset but when he’s going bad, he gets killed by lefties.  I’d look to the LA’s lineup tonight to make a decision but this is a juicy stack option of Los Doyers if they overload their LU with LHHs.

Matt Carpenter, 3B: $4,300 – I think the Brewers went out of their way to get bad pitchers in the off-season to guarantee the worst record in the league.  Dastardly clever if you ask me since they’re a few years away from contention.  All that said, Carpenter and Jeremy Hazelbaker at the still cheap price of $3,500 works for me here.

Aledmys Diaz, 2B/SS: $3,000 – Why not just mention him in the Carp blurb and call for a Cards stack?  Cuz I’ve called like 50 stacks today already and the reality is I just want Diaz for the salary relief.

Lorenzo Cain, OF: $4,600 – This is straight up a DFSBot call today as the A.I. with the dirty mind has Cain as the 6th best OF for the night.  He doesn’t have a platoon advantage but Feldman does give up plenty of flyballs so maybe the ‘Bot is thinking Cain knocks one out.  Or, maybe he’s just thinking of Lorenzo’s Oil and all the things he can do with it.  I try not to get into the ‘Bot’s mind, it’s a scary place.

Gerardo Parra, OF: $4,000 – Oh yeah, there’s a Coors game tonight.  Talk about burying the lead.  SF and COL bats are all there for the taking if you want in, but we all know this.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

As of this typing, there are no threats to speak of.  If you’re playing the early slate, keep in mind that OAKvsLAA has the wind blowing out at 15 MPH to right.  Shomaker already has his struggles against lefty bats, that sure ain’t gonna help.

Doing Lines In Vegas

Kings of the line today are Stephen Strasburg and John Lackey as they hold a -220 and -200, respectively.  Disrespectively, Vegas doesn’t love my Shane Greene call as it not only gives the Pirates the slight advantage at -120 but also bumped the run line from 7.5 to 8.5.  Jerks.  With that note, much like a night after too much Taco Bell, this evening should be full of runs as seven of the 12 for the slate sit at eight runs or over.  It comes as no surprise but COLvsSF tops them all at 11.5 but this is all to say, you could probably get away with fading Coors if you pick right around the rest of the slate (famous last words).

 
  1. Teddy Heater says:
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    Thankfully Buster was out of the line up yesterday cause I got me some T Brown and Hardy Pardy last night! Had my other 6 position players scored more than 22 points I would been straight cashing homie, but I’ll take a Win any way I can. Like the breakdown on Smyly, I’m hoping Joyce gets to DH today at $2,100 and Cain looks primed for a big day too, his bomb last night looked like a Vlad Upper Cut, SMOKED as he almost fell down cause he swung so hard. Det gets to Vogelsong today so maybe the late scratch helps J-Up, Jdong and Nasty Nick.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Joyce is gonna have a hard time DH’ing in an NL park :)

      Glad to hear you cashed, I had too many silent bats to make up for. Oh well *dusts self off and gets back up*

      Gonna be a lot of offense tonight, could make for a crazy high DK score to take down a tourney.

      • Teddy Heater says:
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        @Sky: Those Son’s of B’s switched parks and I didn’t even catch it! I thought they were still in DET, DOH!

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Yeah, the MLB does some weird scheduling around intraleague play. I think we’ll see a lot of 2 & 2 series this year.

  2. Bye Felica says:
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    I just joined the party. My user name is king chit. Good luck guys. Are you, JOFER and Grey playing in it sky?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Nice! Grey doesn’t play…I think you’re talking about JFOH? I don’t have Jose Fernandez’ DK handle, sadly.

  3. Scott says:
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    Hi Sky!

    Do you like Parra or Grichuk ROS?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Hey Scott! I’ll take Parra there

  4. Ron says:
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    Segura, Parra, Holt, Zobrist, Castro – Which 2 you planting your flag on for tonight?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I’ll take Zobrist and Parra

  5. J-FOH says:
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    I reference your favorite decade and some great music and get bupkis for comments from you. I’m not a one trick mob movie show. How dare you

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I don’t know if I’ve commented on many articles at all this year so at least my lack of love for you isn’t just you! I wouldn’t say one trick…at least three.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: Fair enough and I call my three tricks the triple lindy

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          better than imagining you doing a triple salchow

  6. Bye Felica says:
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    Why didn’t the DFS run on DK?

    Don’t tell me we couldn’t get 10 ppl to pitch in $2 fkn bucks!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Sadly we didn’t get 10 people and the $2 fkn bucks. Been a slow start, losing some states by law has made it a bit harder to fill. Know we lost a few regulars from last year because of it. I’ll work on gathering DK handles and try to pad these bastards

      • Bye Felica says:
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        @Sky: Geez, cheap bastards!!!

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