Know why Steve Pearce went off yesterday for three homers (3-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th, 7th and 8th homer)? Because he’s only owned in 3% of fantasy leagues. That’s spiteful, Steve Pearce. Spite is one of the seven deadliest sins. Right after that soup the fat guy ate in Se7en. Not to be confused with Goop, which is Paltrow’s career after she stopped being harassed by Harvey Weinstein. Allow a gross, sweaty producer to rub his genitals against you in unwanted advances, win an Oscar. Sleep with that guy from Coldplay, do movies with Huey Lewis. Speaking of Coldplay, Pearce has been terrible for the last few weeks, but the Sawx have committed to Pearce in a favorable lineup spot, at least against lefties, which he’s rewarded them with solid production (hitting near-.360 vs. lefties). He’s not quite at a Goop-level bounce back, but he is above starring with Huey Lewis and/or Chris Martin. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As the big market maxim goes, if you can’t draft ’em, sign ’em. The Cubs have struggled to produce major league-ready pitching, and rather than rely on a solid, if unspectacular pitching staff, they signed Yu Darvish for a shizzton of money, though likely his going rate. Speaking of which, have you heard all the whispers of collusion? This one doesn’t involve Russians, unless Scott Boras has Russian ancestry. Have to check 23 and Me for that. This offseason seems to be dropping breadcrumbs towards a work stoppage in 2021. Hopefully, I’m wrong. However, when teams are making hundreds of millions of dollars, then refusing to pay free agents things start to look suspicious. Not to mention, Derek Jeter seems to have shorted Marlins stock. When you sell off the whole team to make $60 million in revenue sharing, eyebrows are raised. Unfortunately, for Jeter, it wasn’t his eyebrows, because his forehead seems to be losing hair by the day, and he could use some raised eyebrows to cover that shiny dome. Any hoo! As I said in the top 20 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball, “Yu signed with the Cubs for $126 million. If you just had Siri read that off to you, stop celebrating, and get off the phone with the Lambo dealer. It’s not you you, it’s Yu Darvish. Not saying this is everything, but I just looked at the park factors for Wrigley vs. Dodger Stadium. I mean, I knew they were grossly in favor of Dodger Stadium for pitchers, but I just wanted to confirm. And, what do you know, I confirmed it. Darvish had a 3.44 ERA in Los Angeles in 49 2/3 IP, and, while Wrigley won’t be as gentle, it won’t be any worse than Arlington, where he played previously with success. He feels like a richer Archer. Call him, Robin Hood: Prince of Ks.” And that’s me quoting me! I also updated Darvish in the top 100 for 2018 fantasy baseball, the top 500 for 2018 fantasy baseball and the pitchers’ pairings. Finally, Rudy updated his fantasy baseball rankings and Darvish moved up about 30 spots. That reminds me of the DJ Khaled song produced for the Huffington Post called, Clickbait Drop. I upped Darvish’s projections, and moved him into a more favorable tier, realizing I had been too harsh on him previously. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2018 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s be honest…the vast majority of times someone claims in a DFS-article some super secret strategy or piece of information that will give you a massive edge, they’re entirely full of it. For once, I can actually offer you something quite useful: Chase Field (home of the Arizona Diamondbacks) is about to take a massive decrease in its offensive-friendliness. As of today, Chase Field is the 2nd best stadium in 2017 for offense, and it’s always been a top-3 hitter friendly park. The Diamondbacks announced before the season started that they would begin using a humidor similar to what is used in Coors Field, but they could not give an exact timeline as to when it would begin being used other than it wouldn’t be immediately. It appears it’s going to be very, very soon. My best guess would be it begins being used right after the All-Star Break, and I doubt it will garner a lot of attention, but there’s a very good chance the humidor will turn Chase Field into a ballpark that is offense-neutral (specifically, power-neutral).
On to the picks once Chase Field uses a humidor…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jeurys Familia has been diagnosed with a clogged artery in his right shoulder. Do the Met doctors have Waze? Try the Van Wyck Artery. You know what’s happening here, right? This is Metsferatu, the evil spirit who haunts Mets pitching. Metsferatu was not happy about the Taillon news, only he sidelines pitchers! Metsferatu looks at back cover of the Post and Daily News, plotting his next move, “What if I give Gsellman a third testicle? Or two horns that pop out of his forehead so people can call him Gazelleman? Maybe I go hitter and turn Neil Walker into a zombie. Will anyone notice? I mean, I had them replace a guy with Valley Fever with a guy named dude-a and no one said a damn thing.” So, Jeurys Familia could be out a while, or not at all. Still early to say, but I would absolutely grab Addison Reed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings streamaholics. I’m back for another week of zany hijinks and madcap fun in our pursuit of streaming perfection. Like always, I’ll be sorting through the bargain bin and lightly owned section of arms and bats to bring you the best options available in standard ESPN leagues. By now you should know the drill…..These suggestions will be less than 50% owned in the aforementioned leagues as well. Holding my hands throughout this entire process are the brains of this operation: The Stream-o-Nator and Hitter-Tron. These sexy, next-level love-bots have provided the pertinent information necessary to pass along the best streaming information in the industry. Hands down. Or hands up if you’re on a dirt bike excursion in the Rockies with Madison Bumgarner. He’s such a blast to kick it with on off days. So do yourself a favor and sign up for one of the many packages Razzball has to offer. The “tools” Rudy has put together here are second to none. The absolute best in the industry if you ask me. And you did ask me, right? Of course you did. Anyway, just sit back, relax and enjoy this post. I’m here to help you win your league. #honchoyourfriendPlease, blog, may I have some more?
28.4, 12.2, 21.4, 34.1, 24.9, 43.6, 28.7, 31.4. What Power Forward game log is this? You have a 7x day where he puts up 20 points and 15 rebounds, a day where he flopped hard because he got in foul trouble, and then a lot of 4x and 5x scores. Wait, what’s that? It is the last 8 games of Eric Thames? That’s absurd. I’m not even saying he’s a great play simply because of his last 8 games, but Adam Wainwright’s a decent innings muncher, who is losing the ability to get ground balls so Thames is in play again, even at his elevated price. Are we at the point where Thames is always in play because he’s a good hitter who obliterated the KBO and will spend 2017 obliterating major league pitching. I think the previous sentence answers your question. You might be asking where does Eric Thames rank in the greatest hitting seasons ever with a minimum 50 PAs? And I would tell you that it’s not first, it’s actually 2nd. Yes, Eric Thames 281 wRC+ ranks 2nd. That’s because Freddie Freeman this year has a 282. It helps when you decide that outs really aren’t your thing for 3 games. I’m also sure you are wondering who’s 3rd, and I will tell you that this year Bryce Harper is 3rd at 256. We’ve had some insane starts this year, but only one of them is making crotchety old pitching coaches and grumpy veteran pitchers subtly hint “things.”
On to the picks as soon as Freddie Freeman makes an out…wait, that may be a while…I’ll just do the picks now…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Imagine the Cubs decided to use Lester, Hendricks, Hammel and Lackey in the playoffs, and not Jake Arrieta. Not sure it would be the wrong move either. Arrieta isn’t just out of gas, he’s on a late-70s gas station line, cursing Jimmy Carter. He’s eaten six Chalupas and a Pintos ‘n Cheese from Taco Bell, washed it down with a 16-ounce Coke, and can’t produce any gas. He’s staying at a Marriott in Saudi Arabia where OPEC is meeting and all hotel guests get a complimentary barrel of petroleum and Arrieta can’t produce any gas. Yesterday, Arrieta went 5 IP, 7 ER and his ERA went up to 3.10. About five months ago, I said Arrieta doesn’t look right. I said it around the time of his no-hitter. That took some pants grapes. What’s funny (not funny) when you’re super early at calling something out, people write you off as cuckoo in the coconut. On April 29th, I said, “It’s hard to find a positive when you take this year’s numbers vs. last year’s (of Arrieta). Velocity is down, K-rate is down, walk rate is up, xFIP is up, luck is up, homers are up, ground balls are down and fly balls are up. It’s like looking under a Maserati’s hood and seeing a Mercedes engine. It’s not bad, but it’s not a Maserati.” And that’s me quoting me! On May 9th, I said, “Not to sound like a broken record, but his peripherals just haven’t been as good as last year thus far.” And that’s me quoting me sounding like a broken record! I continued to say more or less the same for a few months, then SUDDENLY everyone else started saying it. For 2017, I picture Arrieta being drafted a lot like Felix Hernandez in the preseason this year. People are concerned, but he’s so good, they’re still drafting Arrieta around 60th overall. Yeah, and it won’t work out either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the offseason, you did your due diligence and formulated opinions on players. After that exhaustive process, you selected the worthy few and enshrined them in your “fantasy display case.” These are the players that you knelt down and prayed to for fantasy glory. After an arduous five month journey, many of those gods have forsaken you. What you must do now is beckon the Faceless Men-a guild of assassins that are servants of the Many-Faced God. If you don’t know these references, then… If you really don’t know, Google Game of Thrones…Many-Fa…Who am i kidding? Either you know them or you don’t. The point is that it’s all about accumulating stats at this point. Don’t get caught up in the name or the fame. The waiver wire, which is the Many-Faced God for you now, will provide plenty of anonymous assassins to help you.Please, blog, may I have some more?
At Stephen Strasburg‘s summer DL rental, the driveway is an inverted W and he timeshares with Ryan Zimmerman. The Nationals said Strasburg’s elbow issue is not structural. Yeah, it’s deconstructed like a Cobb salad at some overpriced restaurant. I’m sure Strasburg is totally fine and it’s completely coincidental that he has a 10.19 ERA in August. Totally unrelated, guys and five girl readers, totally unrelated. Strasburg feels like the kind of pitcher that we can never rely on for more than 150 IP. In five years, he’s thrown 200+ IP once and he’s 28 years old. Oh, and ‘member how Strasburg was supposed to bounce back this year? He currently has the worst ERA of his career. Yeah, great. In my fantasy team news, because who doesn’t love someone talking about their fantasy team, Strasburg hit the DL about an hour after my weekly Scout league locked. The same league where I was in first a week ago before Strasburg went to Coors and Lackey went to the DL. The same league where I’m now in 2nd. The same league where I needed Strasburg to start twice this week and Lackey was set to face the Padres. The same league that ends at the end of August. The same league that just made me cry. I need a tissue, you karmic bullies! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When I was fresh out of college, I worked at a web company (everyone did in the 90s). There was four of us. The other three had real job titles; I was the gofer/do-whatever. It was about a month before I was going back to school for my Master’s. I had no intention of keeping the job. Honestly, I doubt they would’ve kept me for that full month if I weren’t leaving. I failed at everything they assigned me, but they kept giving me new tasks, hoping I’d succeed. The only task I seemed capable of was heating up pre-cooked sausages from Trader Joe’s. I made sausages on a grill for three weeks straight, so, when I finally did leave, they gave me a plaque that reads, “Who wants some sausages?” This brings me to the sudden and incomprehensible rise of Yulieski Guerriel. The Astros are that company, and YuGu is me. The Astros seem between a rock of “We really want this guy to succeed” and “We have about a month left and we’re just hoping something works.” Yulieski hasn’t failed in the minors, he’s looked completely lost. He hit .118 in Double-A, was promoted to Triple-A and hit .222. I could see grabbing Guerriel in all leagues to see if he can get lucky, and figure out how to make something other than pre-cooked sausages for lunch, but the Astros are not promoting him because of how well he’s looked. They’re promoting him because there’s about a month left. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?