I can imagine what Juan Nicasio season long owners are feeling right now. First week was straight gravy with some poutine hiding underneath. Next week? Heart attack with a cliffhanger heading into week 3. This shizz is like Knots Landing and I don’t even know what that show is! Either way, drama central is going on and we out here in DFS land be like okay, okay, Childish Gambino style. That’s the beauty of the Daily Fantasy life: No Ragrets. Or better put, no memory. I don’t care that Juan was terrible in his last start. It happened in Detroit against a stacked Tigers lineup. Back at home in the NL against a good but shaky Brew Crew lineup, I’m willing to take a gamble on Juan at his low end price of $6,100. Why? Pitchers that Ray Searage has salvaged include but are not limited to: AJ Burnett, Francisco Liriano, and JA Happ. So you can write the other two off as bouncebacks but Happ? That’s straight voodoo magic, brosephs, and I’m not about to start a Salem witch trial against this good man. So step into my humble abode as we put Juan in our SP2 spot and forget about it for the day. But what should we do with our SP1 spot, you ask? Well read on. Here’s my telenovela hot taeks for this Sunday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
ARI | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | ATH | CHW | OAK | SEA | WSH

On any given Wednesday or Sunday I’m peppered with comments inquiring as to when so and so will be up? Who’s the best stash of players X, Y, and Z? Should I grab so and so? Are you really as handsome and charismatic as the legend says? Did we really walk on the moon? Today I will bring answers to all these questions. Even the moon one! Why pray tell do I have all the answers? Well, because I am a fantasy baseball writer, it’s in our very nature to know everything even if it’s 100% opinion, and more than likely completely false. My job is to make a compelling argument as to why I am most righteous and you are most wrongous. Will I do any of that today? No, absolutely not. Today I will begin my first in a monthly series of updating you on the latest and greatest in minor league news and prospects developments, as well as the update of my Top 25 prospects. This time with 100% less major leaguers.

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This is the start of a new series called Deep Impact. Having played in deep fantasy baseball leagues before, I know it is often tough to keep reading the same articles about the same guys to pick up that have been owned forever in your league. I will try to ease that pain and give you some ideas of guys to pick up. Obviously, this is easier said than done; the realm of “deep leagues” is far reaching and can mean almost anything. Between looking at guys that are available in a few of my deeper leagues and just trying to use some intuition to find some obviously undervalued players, hopefully we can work together to help you unearth some hidden gems.

The first section of this post will focus on a few players who are good adds in deep redraft leagues, or leagues with a small keeper number. Dynasty leagues are a whole different beast, but in any deep league where there is a lot of roster turnover year to year, you’ll want to get the most possible production in the here and now. Without further ado, let’s begin!

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Hello, Razzball Readers and six reader-ettes (Grey says it’s five, but now my wife will read (or says she will), so let’s up that number to six, shall we?). The name is Phil, and I’m here to provide some OPS league analysis. I’m from St Louis, but I’m no Cardinals Fan; so the Browns Logo it is.  I’m also not as funny as some of the writers on this site, but I’ll try to work in some humor; we’ll have a few beers, a few laughs, stop at In-and-Out burger, you know, the usual.

I’m going to be breaking down players and numbers for OPS leagues, which are the best of leagues. For those not in the know, that’s On Base % (so walks count!) + Slugging Percentage. Chicks dig the long ball, as Greg Maddux(?!?!) said back in the 90’s, and OPS leagues love those guys. However, as we enter deflated numbers for power hitters, we need to look at guys who help at OPS, which isn’t as easy to find as “batting average” hitters.

The biggest part of OPS to know is that batting average DOESN’T MATTER. Remember that, right it down, take a picture, I don’t give an ef, as it’s the most important part when comparing rankings from Experts. In recent history sluggers like Adam Dunn (the OPS League Gold Standard for many years), Mark Reynolds, Brandon Moss, Cris Carter, Mark Trumbo; all can/did barely hit over .240 but they hit bombs and had a nice OPS.

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There was a time the Wayans brothers were funny and I mean that funny ‘haha’ way. Not the how sad and disconnected can you be way. I grew up watching Living Color and loved how it was counter culture at the time. My friends were watching Family Matters, I was watching Homey D. Clown telling everyone about the man and how he was bringing him down. I bring all this fluff to you because in his heyday, Damon Wayans Sr – which I have to put because his son is more famous now – was quite the draw. So much so, we got subjected to multiple movies featuring him. One such bad 90’s nostalgia flashback was Mo’ Money. This was a scene in that movie. I’m sorry you watched it but now you know how I feel. But for fun, let’s pretend the movie had a real plot and play on the concept of people trying to get money for nothing over and over and that’s where Erasmo Ramirez comes in. At $6,600, there’ll be plenty of fake dollars left over for your main arm and some hefty bats. I’d most likely avoid in cash simply because I’m not sure how stretched out he is and how long he gets to go, but I’m of the mindset he’ll go five minimum with a good chance for six. I’m not expecting big numbers but if he can log me 20, I’ll go home happy at this price. Hell, I’m already home so I’ll just stay here happy. Happy that I’m never watching Mo’ Money again…and with that, let’s move along. Here’s my Fire Marshall Bill hot taeks for this Saturday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s nothing he can do that can’t be done. Gets on base, multi-hit games and hits home runs. There’s nothing you can say he just knows how to play the game. It’s easy. The Cuban rookie Aledmys Diaz continued his hot start going 2-for-5, with his second home run of the season and for your sake and mine I hope you read those first few sentences in your best Paul McCartney accent. Honestly, everything sounds better in a Beatles accent. Try it! But enough about old rock and/or roll bands no one has ever heard of, Aledmys Diaz is 11-for-27 (.407 AVG) through his first eight games, 5 extra base hits, 8 RBI and 8 runs scored. Al–can I call you Al? No? Aledmys “Don’t Call Me Al” Diaz has also hit safely in all but one game he’s played in. Can I tell you if Diaz is going to be a star (ha-cha-cha!)? No, not exactly. But he’s got a quick bat with good plate discipline and the Cards have invested enough money in the Cuban rookie that he will likely get a chance to show what he can do. Grey told you to BUY and now I’m telling you. Don’t make this more complicated than it has to be, we’re only trying to help.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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LB6P-U

No, not a Pirates of the Caribbean reference there. Well, maybe it’s inspired from it. Is that better? But rather than the dreaded undead ship that rises from the abyss of Davey Jones Locker, this Dutchman fills his opponents with dread while letting his luscious locks flow henceforth through the strong winds of the…Flushing skyline? Alright, it stops there (for now). Who we talking about? Noah Syndergaard. Sweet mercy, if he aint the best Mets starter out of their vaunted rotation then I don’t know what everyone else is thinking. Well, this week at least.

One of the best indicators into determining the success of a Two-Start pitcher is examining his opponents. Plurals. Two of ’em. You want the pitcher that doesn’t just slay one dragon in a week, but two of ’em. Double Dragon. Two Dragons. I digress. Or do I? Taking down two opponents isn’t an easy task, but when a top-tier pitcher is served the Phillies and Braves on a silver freaking platter, guess what? Here comes the dragon slayer…if the dragons played are essentially of the AAA variety. Two poopy lineups vs. one mighty SP means the top of the rankings for that blonde behemoth taking the mound for the Mets.

And since we’re talking about the Flying Dutchman, we’ll carry over the precedent set by the Week 2 Two-Start Pitcher Rankings and categorize the tiers through a film franchise: Pirates of the Caribbean! And whaddaya know, it even fits with the amount of tiers we have. Gee whillakers!

In the Two-Start Pitcher Primer we discussed the strategy to finding the best two-start options. Being early in the year it’s difficult to pull statistical data on the opposing team’s lineups, so these rankings will revert to some 2015 stats for the pitchers. Are we really doing that again? Ya dern right. We’re dropping last year’s Park Factors, and staying with the pitcher’s numbers. Waaaay too many invariables to rely upon that number for the third week in April 2016. Also, as this is being written, the White Sox are 8-2. Think that’s a true indicator of future production? (And everyone outside of the Southside said, ‘Uh, no.’) We’ll stick to 2015 one more time.

And don’t worry… even if I used this year’s stats to designate rank, Syndergaard would still be at the top. Dude’s been unhittable.

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Marcus Semien was so grateful to be the 2nd week’s Buy lede that Semien shot up, overcome, thanking people in spurts.  First, Semien said he had to give a hand to Reddick.  Then Semien said, as much as it hurts him, Burns challenges him to be better, more fluid in his follow through.  Semien says that before he’d get stale like dried paste.  I heard through the grapevine that the A’s are being cautious about moving Semien up in the lineup between Burns and Reddick for fear of being labeled NC-17.  “I have no recollection of a conversation about Semien, but I would be against it.”  That’s Tipper Gore consulting with MLB.  Marcus Semien has four homers, hitting .276, and he has 12-steal speed.  So, that’s roughly 65/18/65/.260/12 on the year.  Yeah, that’s better than that other schmohawk you have in your MI slot.  I would absolutely add Semien all over.  Plus, it’s a great moisturizer!  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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As much as I love publishing and giving you the “haps” on the closer ranks, I love the depth that a bullpen can give you and how it can affect your roster.  It is way to early to look into my Grafix crystal ball and say this guy and that one will be the crowned prince of the hold this year… to some degree.  Early usage and situations prove a lot.  Yes, injuries happen, and ineffective spells happen, and sometimes trades happen, but if you were good enough to make the team out of Spring, then usually you are good enough to make yourself an established piece of the bullpen.  The top names are still the top names.  The cream either rises to the top or it rules everything around me, both perspectives are interesting because how can you not believe the Wu or old school rhetoric. So with the first bullpen piece of the year, we will cover all the same things you are accustomed to from last year as I get more in-depth than anyone else when it comes to holds.  Some don’t care or are on the fence, as if it’s a completely comical or made up stat.  It is no more made up then saves, because that is exactly what it is, just before the save… so it is basically a pre-save.  Either way, I care and will give you some early trends to look at and some names to go with it.  Trends rule everything around bullpens or TREAB, dolla dolla bill y’all.

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In the offseason, I experimented with a new rankings system. After a several iterations of trial and error, I finally arrived at a solution that yielded favorable results. Even though we are only about eight games into the 2016 season, I decided to give the system a test run. The saying “size matters” definitely comes into play in this case. Approximately 28 plate appearances for a hitter is barely enough to scratch the surface. Projecting based on these numbers is more of a fool’s errand than a productive endeavor, but far be it from me to avoid the opportunity to be a fool.

For those wondering how the system ranks players, I’ll give you the 30,000 foot view. Employing multiple points scoring systems I use both year-to-date and projected stats to calculate points. For each scoring system I then rank the players by position. I then take all the rankings for each player and average them to give each player a ranking. Finally I sort the players based on their average rankings.

As we move deeper into the season I will provide a much fuller and detailed list of rankings, but for today I am just going to give you the top five hitters at each position.

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That’s what we’re all chasing here, right?  The White Whale.  We’re all obsessing over this silly little game in the hopes of hitting that four…five…six figure payday.  We pour over stats from wOBA to z-swing % and everything in between hoping to glean some hidden gem that gives us an edge over the rest of the field.  I can only imagine the number of hours I’ve put into looking at match-ups, fiddling with lineups, checking the weather, checking Twitter and pondering game theory.  Well, tonight will be no different.  Friday nights are one of my favorite nights to play DFS.  It’s always a full or nearly full slate, game times are typically 7 EST and all the 10 EST lineups are out by the time lineups are due.  Tonight is no different, and tonight, I’m looking to clobber Tim Melville.  You’re darn tootin’ I went with a Moby Dick reference on a night I’m stacking against Melville.  If you caught that before this point in the paragraph, give yourself a hearty pat on the back for reading a book or two. This call doesn’t take a lot of pondering.  Tim Melville’s AAA numbers last year were a lovely 4.63 ERA with a 6.1 K/9 and a 4.0 BB/9.  You know how Grey uses K-rate minus BB-rate to determine how good a pitcher is real quick?  10 K/9 – 3 BB/9 = 7 = Borderline ace = Chicken diner, or something like that.  Quick math gives us Tim Melville’s difference of 2.1.  If a difference of 7 is a borderline ace, a difference of 2 is a borderline “doesn’t belong in the major leagues”.  All of your Cardinal batters are in play, righties and lefties alike.  Melville was equally generous to both handed batters in the minor leagues.  So, stack ‘em up, hope they hit and let’s see what else can find to help you catch your whale tonight.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And if Vince V. is so money, it would make the Padres a bunch of Swingers.  Seriously, tell me Vince Velasquez wasn’t money?  He struck out 16, baby.  He only gave up three hits, baby.  He is a beautiful baby, baby.  C’mon, he’s so money.  You gotta grab him, baby, you gotta.  Call him up on waivers, go ahead, c’mon, baby, call him up.  “Hi, uh, this is a random fantasy baseballer, which is, uh, Grey’s mom’s term.  I saw you struck out 16, uh, Padres, in a shutout and I was, uh, wondering–”  Machine beeps.  Call back, baby!  Velasquez wants you to!  “Hi, Mr. Velasquez, it’s me again.  Ha, silly movie answering machines always shutting off prior to a message ending.  I mean, who even has answering machines like this anymore–”  Machine beeps.  C’mon, baby!  You’re almost through that message!  Then you can go on to direct Iron Man and be the namelganger for a Washington speech writer, while I can go do a lot of blow with Jennifer Aniston and singlehandedly ruin True Detective playing essentially myself.  You gotta, baby!  You are so money!  So, Vince Velasquez went 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 16 Ks, and if he’s still on waivers in your league, I want to be in your league.  Yes, you should grab, like yesterday (preferably before his last start).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?