Closer Report, Week 17: The Calm Before The Deadline

July 30, 2016 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 22 Comments

I was going to just delay this post due to inclement weather, but Grey’s super Doppler 5001, which is also a giant B.S. detector, wouldn’t let me. So here we sit, some 48 hours before the list that you are about to see means about as much as single-ply toilet paper… Really, what cheap s.o.b. concocted this idea of pinching pennies? I mean everyone has had a run-in with it at some point. Awful. It’s part of the reason I have a salt-water bidet in all three outhouses at the Smokey compound. So back to the deadline… closer gossip teams are lining up other contenders closers in such a bullish market, namely the rumors surrounding Mark Melancon. The market and teams that need reliable relievers, let alone closers, is the Nationals, Indians, Rangers and Giants. It is just the land of confusion and there is not enough LOOGY’S to go around. I will touch on who I can see where after the bump to prolong the suspense, but the teams I just mentioned are teams to monitor on the opposite end of closers, because if the big names start rolling, all but Cody Allen looks to be out of a job. Here’s what I can see going down by the deadline in the bullpen game, plus some rankings and next in line stuff. Plus, Razzball Soccer has started pumping out quality, so go over and check it and join the official game…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Use Your Golden Ticket To Buy Dahl

July 29, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 503 Comments

by: Grey

This is the 2nd title this week referencing Willy Wonka, first being this week’s podcast. It’s a gee-dee Gene Wilder renaissance up in here (up in here)! I miss Gene Wilder, taken way too soon from us. Oh, he’s not dead. He just stopped being funny a’la Dan Aykroyd. (By the way, Aykroyd is a good ten to twenty years younger than you think he is. 64?! I thought he was 64 in Driving Miss Daisy.) I’m thankful for Thomas Middleditch replacing Gene Wilder. If you have no idea who that is, it’s the lead character on Silicon Valley, who is a dead ringer for a young and still alive Gene Wilder. With all of this Wonka talk, tell me you can look at David Dahl in his purple uniform and not hear in your head, “Violet, you’re turning violet.” Or look at the trough you pee in at the next baseball game and tell me you don’t hear, “What a disgusting, dirty river! Industrial waste, that. You’ve ruined your watershed, Wonka: it’s polluted.” Only to realize it’s not poop, but chocolate. Wait, it’s not chocolate, is it? Well, if you want to view paradise, simply look around at David Dahl’s stats and view it. There’s nothing to it. Anything he wants to do, he can do it. There’s no players I know to compare to a pure 30/30 player like David Dahl. Oompa Loompa doopie-what-can-Rockies’-Dahl-do? That’s another puzzle I have for you. He can hit for power, steal bases and likely platoon on the strong side of the left field platoon, unless the Rockies trade CarGo or Blackmon. Anything, that’s what Dahl can do. Want to change the world? There’s nothing to it. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ambulance Chasers: Get Ready For The Return Of Designated Listers

July 29, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 2 Comments

by: Joseph Patrick

With the All Star Game well behind us, Fantasy baseball players everywhere are gearing up for their home stretch. One of the biggest question marks remaining will be how players returning from the disabled list fare before the end of the season. Can they make an impact on certain teams, to the point that they sufficiently increase your standing in the league? Let’s take a look at some of the more notable fantasy baseball players that are gearing up for a late season return. (Some of whom you may even have stashed on your roster.) Hopefully this will help you determine if that decision was wise or not…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings: Griffin’dor, Only For the Brave And True

July 29, 2016 | DraftKings |

by: Sky

So Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix was on HBO tonight and before you ask, no I still don’t have cable. Me not having cable is a running joke around here. Sorry if you don’t understand, but this intro is for those who understand that I understand how silly it is, you understand? Anyhoo, it put me in the mindset for this title and it’s also apropos to the actual topic. AJ Griffin…admittedly I could give two bee-sized bowel movements about how good he is or has been. Overall, he’s just not good. He’s about as SP3/4 vanilla as you can get for an MLB team, but that’s neither here nor there. The Royals have suffered so many injuries this year and have seemingly thrown in the towel on the season as they’ve gone into full blown sell mode. I don’t know if that’s what is affecting the production on the field, but it’s clear this team isn’t sniffing the 2015 version. The K rate as a whole is up nearly 4% and they sit mired in 24th overall in wRC+. Factor in they’ve actually been worse since the All-Star break and you have the perfect spot to take advantage of a $6,500 priced pitcher who doesn’t need a gem to outplay his price. When suggesting a pitcher that has a 4+ ERA, it should go without say but yeah, this is a tourney only call. So let the sorting hat decide whether you’re courageous enough to follow through with Griffin and let’s get on with the rest. Here’s my Goblet of Fire hot taeks for this Friday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Twins Trade Nunez To Free Up ABs For AAAA’s

July 29, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 265 Comments

by: Grey

The Twins’ lineup could generate power for any remote control, because they’re filled with Double-A batteries. High five me! C’mon! You don’t appreciate a good snap! I’m zinging over here! Fine, be that way. The Twins traded the 29-year-old Eduardo Nunez to the Giants, which makes him the youngest player the Giants have ever acquired and the cheapest player the Twins have ever traded away. A double first! Which sounds almost like how you picture your ex describing herself on Tinder. So, Eduardo Nunez goes from a neutral park to a pitching park and from a lineup that could be best described with their two-hole hitter, Grossman, to a lineup best described as “in the middle of a panic.” Or a Panik in the middle. This move likely doesn’t change his value much, but if anything it takes him down a notch. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bear or Bull: Giancarlo Stanton, M.I.A. Marlin

July 28, 2016 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 24 Comments

by: Big Magoo

Entering the 2016 season, there were plenty of reasons to be optimistic about Miami Marlins superstar outfielder Giancarlo Stanton. Pitcher-friendly Marlins Park underwent renovations to move in and lower the outfield fences. One of the greatest hitters in MLB history, Barry Bonds, was hired as the team’s new hitting coach. His supporting cast was largely constructed of players such as Christian Yelich, Marcell Ozuna, and Dee Gordon who were entering their peak years. He appeared to be fully recovered from the devastating facial and hand injuries that he suffered over the previous two seasons, and even switched to a new bat in order to ease the pressure on his hands when he swings. Everything seemed to be in place for a career year for the 26-year-old slugger. However, things didn’t exactly go according to plan early on. What went wrong and has Stanton righted the ship?

Let’s take a look at Stanton’s profile to determine what’s going on with the young slugger. Here are a few thoughts and observations:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bossman Junior

July 28, 2016 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 8 Comments

by: malamoney

Bossman junior sounds like the name of a main guy you have to fight right before you fight the real main guy at the end of a level in some 1980’s Nintendo game. He’s not exactly the boss, but he’s harder to beat than any other enemy in that level. Melvin Upton Jr. claims that his name change had nothing to do with getting a fresh start or trying to change his luck after two piss poor seasons in Atlanta. And when I say “piss poor” that might be an understatement. If he wanted to change his name to reflect his time with the Braves he could have gone with Sh*thead Upton Jr. That first name, by the way, is actually a legitimate name. I believe it’s commonly pronounced shi-theed. Ain’t that some sh*t!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 REL Dynasty League Update: Week 17

July 28, 2016 | Razzball Elite League | 9 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

We’re heading into arguably the biggest week of the inaugural REL league! Trade deadline… Is it just me, or is the rumor mill louder every year? Everyone loves just throwing thousands of strands of pasta on the wall in the hope that one sticks so they can feel smart. I never understood that method for pasta, it’s a waste of friggin’ food!

With real-life trades having an impact on REL rosters, there is still plenty of time for fortunes to change and runs to be made. However, it’s going to be tough to unseat the NL leading Nats from their stranglehold on the standings. The AL is much more wide open though, with 5 teams at 100+ points and the Tigers in striking distance as well at 98. Here’s how week 17 went down in the 2016 REL League:

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DraftKings: Aces Wild

July 28, 2016 | DraftKings |

by: wheyen3

It’s a very scary thought to pick the two highest priced pitchers on DraftKings, but that’s just what to do today. If you’re afraid of us having to fill out the remainders of our lineup with players from the likes of the Flying Squirrels and the Muckdogs, you aren’t far off. However, on this day it will be worth it, as both aces I’m asking you to pick, Johnny Cueto and Jose Fernandez, are the best we have to offer.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to ourDFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Cole Gets His Jolly Rogers On The U.S.S. Mariner

July 28, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 477 Comments

by: Grey

Gerrit Cole‘s start yesterday — 9 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78 — wasn’t the most impressive start. *walks around, shaking people out of their slumber* Hey, what’s going on, guys and five girl readers? Was it the opening sentence? Okay, so Gerrit Cole didn’t look as good as, say, Dylan Bundy over five innings. Cole looked solid, salt-of-the-earth, lumberjack-shirt-for-a-tablecloth-middle-class-sturdy-as-oak-workman-like for nine innings. By the way, you know what they call a hyena with lines instead of spots? Hyphena. Take it, Highlights, it’s yours. Do we have to have starters that are all lordy-me-I’m-fainting-with-a-handkerchief-to-my-forehead filled with upside? Well, I’d like it, and Cole prolly has it somewhere in there. *knocks on Cole’s chest* Is a near-9 K/9 in there still? Hello? Okay, I think it is, but it’s just not answering now. Maybe it’s taking a nap from Cole’s less-than-stellar K-rate. That’s been the story of his season, actually. Great results for real baseball, but a little lacking on the flash (7.5 K/9). He’s still throwing hard (95 MPH), maybe he fell asleep while Contact was on late-night TV and woke up deciding to throw to contact. Not sure, but if I had to bet, I’d bet every day on a 25-year-old who throws 95 returning to his previous flashy Ks while maintaining his excellent ERA results. But there’s nothing wrong with a lumberjack shirt for a tablecloth. It’s Murica! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Trade Deadline Collateral Damage: Prospects On the Move

July 27, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 113 Comments

by: Geoff

Oh the deadline, where championships are dreamed about, and futures are mortgaged. Is there ever a time where the worlds of redraft and dynasty collide more? You have your redraft owners hoping their closers don’t lose their jobs, or that their hitters, and pitchers are moved to better surroundings. The dynasty owners are worried about those same things, but also hoping their blocked higher minors prospects get moved to greener pastures with opportunities waiting with a big league club. It’s also a time when veterans are moved out to make way for those potential future stars waiting in the wings. It’s a busy time for your humble Prospector. I have a lot of thoughts about prospects on the move, some got the call, some got the other kind of call, and some are waiting for one or the other. Obviously I’m alluding to a call from their doctors regarding their “tests results”….Actually I might have just had a flashback to that time I wrote for the Des Moines Medical Journal. Corn farm injuries are gruesome people.

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DraftKings: Double Duff

July 27, 2016 | DraftKings, Fantasy Baseball DFS | 5 Comments

by: MattTruss

I just couldn’t help it, it was staring me right in the face. As I was going through the options for tonight’s slate and eliminating the ones that I have zero shot at rostering (Adam Wainwright, Archie Bradley) I kept looking at Duffey and Duffy as options and the double dose of Duff alliteration potential was too much to pass up. Danny Duffy and Tyler Duffey are more than just a grammar enthusiast’s amusement though, they are both legitimate options and probably the two I will be rostering as my starting pitchers, at least in GPPs. Danny has been stellar and I don’t believe anyone will need much convincing to get him in there against the Angels. The only hesitation I have here is that the Angels are not striking out this year. They are the same level the Royals were on last year, striking out 100 times less than the next nearest team. While that’s not an automatic “Avoid”, it’s something to think about. Tyler doesn’t give me much pause, mostly due to the opponent. The Braves are always a target, as their .652 team OPS is worst in the league by 30 points. Sure, Tyler has been inconsistent, but the promise has flashed here and there. The Braves are most likely using Gordon Beckham at DH, need I go on? I expect both pitchers to be contrarian plays tonight, you’re not running them out in cash games, but when looking to differentiate in a sea of GPP lineups, these are nice options. Plus, the pair only costs you $14,000. That’s basically one Clayton Kershaw! Let’s take a look at a few non-Duff options for tonight’s DraftKings slate:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?