The truth is, I don’t give a shit whether you like tapes or CDs. You like what you like and that’s what you like. Besides, you probably prefer vinyl, which has seen a resurgence in the past several years. However, according to some sources, cassette tapes are also making a small comeback. In 2016 cassette sales increased by 74 percent, bringing total sales to 129,000 units. If you’re thinking “who cares”, I’m with you. If I’m being honest, I just needed a few sentences about tapes and CDs to tie the title to the post, and eventually throw Didi Gregorius a mention. No time like the present to get that out of the way…

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Tue 8/5
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | MIA | OAK

The Padres might be away from home on Thursday, but they’re still going to have to deal with a tsunami against Carlos Martinez ($9,800). Of course, Martinez goes by the curiously misspelled Twitter handle @Tsumany27, and he’s got the stats to back up the nickname. C-Mart’s rocking a career-high 25.5% K-rate and 17.0% K-BB, as well as a 3.36 Deserved Run Average. He’s a worthwhile start against even the toughest lineups in baseball, so he’s straight cash against the Padres. San Diego has just a .305 wOBA against right-handers this season, ranking them 29th in the league. They also have the second-highest K-rate versus righties at 25.3%. This easily puts Martinez as the top starting pitcher option on Thursday’s slate.

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Rich Hill threw a perfect game yesterday — he pitched into the tenth inning and didn’t get a blister.  Are we measuring perfect games for Rich Hill differently now?  I thought that was his standard.  How about this?  Rich Hill threw a perfect game through nine innings if Logan Forsythe would’ve stayed down on a grounder to third, which leaves Forsythe with nothing but hindsight.  The irony is thick like Nicki Minaj.  Yesterday, Rich Hill went 9 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 10 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.32; his only blemish was a tenth-inning, lead-off, walk-off home run by Josh Harrison, oh, that spoil sport.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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This is the last issue of Ambulance Chasers for the MLB! I’ll be switching over to the NFL starting next week on Razzball Football. I’ll be trading in my DL-60’s and DL-10’s for PUP’s, Q’s, O’s and D’s. Lots and lots of big ol’ D’s. If you have still have fantasy baseball injury questions you can find me on Twitter and ask me: here.

Nine starting pitchers got bit by the injury bug this week, most of them Dodgers. I feel like there’s been a Dodger in every issue of Ambulance Chasers this year.  Since there are so many starting pitchers on the DL I’ll be giving you three fill in options at the bottom of this article rather than struggling to find nine viable starters on your waivers. What? You want me to recommend Clayton Richard? Let me have my pride!

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Put down that Fantasy Football magazine!! (Do they even make fantasy sports magazines any more? Man, I miss walking to the mailbox in late February and seeing my beautiful new fantasy baseball magazine sitting there.  Damn interweb!  Wait, if it weren’t for reading about fantasy sports on the internet, I wouldn’t be writing this right now.  Hmm, may need to rethink my position on this).  Anyway, I know it’s hard to pay attention to fantasy baseball at this time of year, even if your teams are hanging in there, and it’s emotionally and mentally grueling to follow along if your teams have already crashed and burned. I get it… another weekend of one step forward (Colin McHugh) and two steps back (Jake Odorizzi and Roberto Osuna – thanks, guys!) had me so frustrated in a deep AL-only league where my team is fading fast, that I barely remembered to set my lineup this week. I’ll also admit that when I sat down to write this article, I was almost immediately distracted by all of the pretty pictures of NFL players, and spent about twelve minutes thinking about whether to rank Bilal Powell or Carlos Hyde higher in a football draft that isn’t happening for another week and a half.

But even if it’s only a few minutes each week, check in on your poor, neglected friend, your old pal fantasy baseball. Even if you don’t have a team vying for a money spot, keep your head in the game. Do it for your league-mates, and do it for yourself… even if it doesn’t make a difference this year, maybe it will impact your 2018. You may uncover a hidden gem of a player, or a piece of information that will percolate in your brain over the winter, and turn into a late-round steal or early waiver wire pick up next year.  Those of us who missed the Ryan Zimmermans, Justin Smoaks, and Scooter Gennetts, of the world in 2017 know just how big a difference a couple of these fellas can make.

For now, though, we remain in 2017… with another handful of players who may be available in your NL or AL-only league to assist you in getting through the season’s remaining weeks:

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Zack Godley ($8,800) takes on the Mets tonight. He’s dropped a serious poo in the pool since his fantastic July, surrendering 9 ER’s in 17 IP over his last three starts. Those are three chunky nuggets of bad, but hey, good thing David Wright has taken the form of Jesus to distract us! But let’s be real, there’s no forgetting this is the Mets, a team that has struck out 56 times over the last week. Here’s the game where Godley gets back on track, but the Mets are persistent, give em’ cred. This dumpster fire never dies quietly, but if Godley throws another 8 K’s against them like he did back in May, maybe, just maybe, the toaster will finally be thrown in Terry Collins’ crap-bath. On that positive, here’s your DFS plays this fine Wednesday!

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Yesterday, Lucas Giolito went 6 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks as he was called up to take Reynaldo’s rotation spot.  The shine, as they say at the complaint desk for a shoeshine man, has come off Giolito.  I was all ready to mock Keith Law.  I was going to look at what Law said in 2012 vs. now, but I overestimated Law.  This past winter he said Giolito could be a #1 starter.  I can’t imagine what he said in 2012.  Likely that he’s the best starter in the draft.  He wouldn’t have been alone with that.  Most loved Giolito at the time.  Also, as that last sentence sounds, he was the most loved Giolito, with Sammy “The Bull” Giolito a distant 2nd.  Lucas’s value has rebounded a bit this year vs. last year.  In Endorphin Ralph’s top 100 prospects in the 2nd half, Giolito was ranked 82nd.  As a fantasy baseball prospect list vs. a real baseball one, that’s a solid ranking — or is that a solid Ralphing?  For this year, I’d avoid outside of the best matchups.  Rookie pitchers bring more heartache than your high school sweetheart friending you on Facebook.  “Ugh, she’s happy?  Such BS!”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Looking for value in a baron steal world is not very fun.  Scouring the waiver wire every day, wandering the earth looking for value or a good match-up is lonely territory.  Kinda makes you feel like the guy from Kung Fu, but just not with all the sexual asphyxiation type stuff.  Listen digging for steals and even saves for that matter is a matter of right place or being first to the waiver wire.  Not every move is a good one, especially in the stolen base category.  It’s fantastic that guys steal bases, but they also have to get on base.  Stealing first is still a non-entity. So look at the match-ups at hand and do not be afraid to gamble on a guy.  Check the OBP, check the catcher/pitcher rates of stolen bases against.  And god forbid do not fall in love with the one-stat wonders of the world this late in the year.  You don’t wanna be stuck holding a guy and miss out on the next guy to accumulate stats.  Play, ditch and go re-fishing for stats.

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but it’s another week at the top of the Razzball Commenter Leagues Master Standings for Cram It.  Cram It had a slim 0.6 point lead last week over Vottoman Empire, but opened up a 1.5 point lead this week as Vottoman slipped down the standings a bit.  Last season, Team levy rode a perfect 120 and a LCI of 98 to an RCL Overall Championship, the first perfect score in RCL history.  During week 20, Team Levy had 114 points and I said at the time that a perfect score was not out of the realm of possibilities.  Well, I’m here to tell you again, it’s not out of the realm for Cram It either.  With Trea Turner on the mend Cram It should be able to put some distance between himself and the next closest SB threat, while also possibly overtaking the next two Batting Average leaders.  The pitching side will be a bit more tricky.  There’s one easy point in ERA there for the taking, but with 134 GS and 0.020 to gain in WHIP it’s going to be tough.  Cram It needs to go from a 1.238 WHIP to around a 1.20.  Choose those streamers wisely!  Fortunately, the waiver pool should be well stocked for Crammy as he and three other managers appear to be the only ones making many moves.  Cram It, of course, has over 300 more moves than his nearest competition.  We’ll all be watching and rooting you on Cram, good luck.  Here’s what else went down in the RCLs in the week that was, week 20:

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If your eyes weren’t burned away from the eclipse, it’s great to have you back and reading the write up. We have a full slate tonight with no bona fide ace on the mound but that doesn’t mean we don’t have some solid match-ups to pick from. The biggest one that stands out is Lance Lynn ($14,800), he is being priced as a middle of the road started despite the fact that he has 2 ER or fewer in his last 9 starts. Tonight should be no different as the San Diego Padres come to St. Louis, Lynn’s home ERA is currently 2.62. The Padres are no secret to DFS when it comes to streaming pitchers but Lynn is priced really low and the Padres offer a great strike out potential. They currently rank 3rd in the MLB in Strikeouts and are dead last in runs scored.  Lynn should be able to have his way with this line-up and also have a great chance to win the game as Cardinals are significant favorites.

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care! 

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Grey blames his dog Ted for an “employment challenged” person setting fire to his condominium complex and storage unit this weekend. My weekend was equally as exciting; I met up with a few friends for lunch. After swapping weekend tales, we start the fantasy baseball talk with Aaron Judge’s continued regression and Rhys Hoskins’ continued rise, and how they might be closer in fantasy value down the stretch and in 2018 than you might think. We also discuss Gio Gonzalez and Justin Smoak’s dominant seasons, before bringing Ralph Lifshitz on at the midway point to breakdown Chad Kuhl, Colin McHugh, Byron Buxton, and Josh Bell. Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 15% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

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We go over Adam Jones later on the podcast.  Kidding, no one gives two effs about Adam Jones.  I mean, I’m sure he’s a pleasant enough guy.  I don’t mean no one gives two effs like a person from Boston before they all became magically woke this past weekend.  I’d let Adam Jones date my daughter, if I had a daughter.  Shoot, he can date my mom if he wants; I got one of those.  I just want Adam Jones in my family!  *snaps fingers*  They’re creepy and they’re kooky, all together ooky; The Adam Jones Family.  Nah, it isn’t about him on why no one gives two effs about him, it’s because of how boring he is for fantasy.  Not bad boring, just boring boring.  Don’t put words in my mouth.  Shut up, Random Italicized Voice.  Yesterday, he went 4-for-4, 3 runs and his 23rd and 24th homers, hitting .281, and had zero hits the game before, and will likely have zero hits today because he needs to level out yesterday’s wonderful with a strong helping of boring.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?