With Opening Day finally here tomorrow we actually have some real baseball to discuss! Typically, in this piece, I will view the week ahead and discuss some players with plus matchups to target in FAAB. However, the last week or so has been dominated by news of top prospects potentially making Opening Day rosters and […]
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Cougs saw a picture of Donkey Teeth and I at the Vegas NFBC Main Event and said, “You look like the movie Twins.” I smiled, then, after thinking about it for 20 minutes realized something, and texted my wife back, “Are you saying I’m Danny DeVito?” Then I saw the elipsis that she was texting, but those dots disappeared, and I never heard from her again. She now lives with Donkey Teeth.
Just finished our first Main Event @TheNFBC and all I got was this very cool shirt and hat pic.twitter.com/a527cuxtia
— Razzball (@Razzball) March 26, 2022
So, had a great time in Vegas drafting this team, even if it was slightly uncomfortable having Donkey’s hand up my butt moving my mouth. More like Ventriloquist Teeth! For those not in the know about the NFBC Main Event. It’s a 15-team, 30-round mixed league draft. No IL spots, and weekly waivers. It’s a snake draft with a weekly FAAB. It also costs $1700 to enter, but the winner gets, like, $170,000 or something. Honestly, wasn’t doing it for the money. I was doing it so Donkey’s hand would be up my butt. Anyway, here’s our Main Event NFBC draft and recap:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Intro Yes Razzers, I’m back one more time to give a final rundown on the eve of the baseball season. There has been a flurry of last-minute moves and announcements this week and these all need to be accounted for. “Last bus stop” is not only because spring training is coming to a close but […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?What’s poppin’, Razzhooligans? Can you feel it? Regular season baseball will be here in 48 hours. Not long ago, I was certain we wouldn’t be playing probably at all this month. #grateful In my final preseason piece for you cool cats, I wanted to update my closer rankings since, well, a whole lot has happened […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome to another season of Razz-matazz Fantasy Baseball! Now with less social distancing! Maybe. Hey hey, you’re too close man, too close! So, despite the pandemic, here we are with another year of staff picks because staff picks and pandemics go together amazingly well. I mean, have you seen the roll we’ve been on the last few years? Covid and us are like this man. And talking about rolling… it’s how residents in Indiana get down a hill, or so I’ve heard. Technically I’ve never been there since I only like visiting places that have paved roads and not Duke. Another fun fact! Did you know that despite the modern advancement of technology and science, we still have no way to have every writer provide their extended take on every single player in the MLB? I mean, what would you have us do, write more? Crazy! And so we have this quick-and-easy presentation that provides you, the Razzmatazzball community, a viewer-friendly and succinct breakdown of how we all feel about the upcoming season.
So without further ado, here are our Official 2022 Razzball Picks! (Be sure to share yours in the comments section!) And be sure to add exclamation marks, we have a quota to fill people!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Grey and B_Don are here to go over some spring training news as we approach Opening Day 2022. Despite the start of the baseball season, Grey is feeling a bit down as he has zero shares of the great Julio Rodriguez. We talk about Grey and Rudy’s projections for Cubs outfielder, Seiya Suzuki, who can […]
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Julio Rodriguez has made the Mariners’ Opening Day roster and I’m giving the longest “yeah boi” in history. Due to the longest “yeah boi” in history, I’m feeling lightheaded. Oh my God, I’m floating like Charlie and Grandpa Joe after they had too much fizzy, lifting drink. Is Cougs pumping my office full of helium? I’ve never felt happiness like this before. Not without dreaming of wearing a costume to make me look like a dumbbell and have Giancarlo curl me. This is…happiness, isn’t it? Have I broken free from reality? This is real, right? I’ve checked fifteen different sources, and it’s really real. I think. So, already gave you a Julio Rodriguez fantasy but listen to what Grey “Dumb B*tch” Albright said there, “Kelenic was up mid-May and that seems as good a bet as any. So, the M’s make a serious push to have all three of them (Kelenic, Haniger and Jul-Rod) in the outfield by May 15th. That feels aggressive, but no one calls him July — it’s Juli, if anything.” They’ve seen added Jesse Winker, and now Jul-Rod! My God, it’s wonderful. Julio Rodriguez or Bobby Witt Jr.? It’s not clearcut. This is giving me a heart attack. How did I not draft him in one single league? Am I mentally dumb? What is wrong with me?! I re-ranked Julio Rodriguez in the top 40 outfielders, and moved him way up in the top 500. He’s still behind Witt, but if Jul-Rod outperformed him it wouldn’t surprise me at all. Oh, and Rest in Waivers to Kyle Lewis. He was moved way down in the top 100 outfielders. Now, excuse me, as I return to my “yeah boi.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2022 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?All right, here’s the actual title: Contingency Exegesis, or How I Learned to Love the Fact that Jacob deGrom is Already Hurt. No, nononnono, I don’t mean it like, I like that he’s hurt. Rather, it’s the kind of mindset that I now get to enter where I consider the other 1,000 other possibilities that I didn’t take in the draft that I love. I didn’t draft deGrom [goes and checks Fantrax] anywhere this year. Or Max Scherzer. Of course I didn’t — I either got Corbin Burnes in round 1 and then waited until round 972 for SP2, or I got Shane Bieber in round 4 and then got Kevin Gausman in round 7. In the cosmic scheme of things, these are all just happenstance draft decisions. There are trillions of ways you could draft a roster. You could draft a fantasy baseball every minute from now until the sun goes black and still not draft the same team [stares at all those hypothetical drafts with Seiya Suzuki in the 1.01]. Regardless of how much I behave like Carl Sagan, us fantasy baseballers down here on this pale blue dot are basically done with draft season. A bunch of you are already in the black hole of fantasy sports because you chose Jacob deGrom as your SP1 (and if you drafted him as your SP2, you’re clearly reading this website for the sexy Greinke images and not the articles). So! Let’s talk about what to do when the inevitable happens: your favorite pitcher gets hurt. Or the sun goes black. One of those things will happen below. Don’t hold me to a high standard.
Please, blog, may I have some more?You know how I know that Bobby Witt Jr. is going to be a stud? It’s simple. Because his name ends in Jr. The same can be said for three of the top four hitters in the game. Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Fernando Tatis Jr., and Ronald Acuna Jr. Can you image if Juan Soto was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Good day, Razzballers, Another week, another couple of players getting injured. Sorry Met fans, it’ll be a while before we see Jacob deGrom. Sorry White Sox fans, but at least we’ll see Andrew Vaughn in a few weeks. Now that new outfielder AJ Pollock is in town, Vaughn can hopefully have less adventures in the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s the time of year, right before the season starts, where every ‘Pert feels on top of the world. Every team they’ve drafted is the best of their lives and the taeks are hawt. We’ve asked our very own Razzball ‘Perts to weigh in with only their hottest and boldest predictions for the 2022 fantasy […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Attention Razzballers! The Not Not News Podcast is now available 100% free of charge! Subscribe to the Not Not New Podcast on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. It’s your favorite hour of the week! The Not Not News is back with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you […]
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