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Nick Lodolo went Holy LodoYOLO. Nick flew into Toledo and said, “It’s now called Toledolo.” Nick went onto the Paramount lot and said it’s Nick at Nitedolo. Nick Lodolo put on a luchador mask, called himself Lodolor, because he promised pain. Lodolo said to the Pirates, “You’re going the way of the Dodolo.” Lodolo said, “Try to hit my pitches and it’s gonna be Lodo-lol.” [The crowd grows restless, how many more of these do they have to endure, they wonder.] Nick Lodolo said, “I’m Nick and wait ’til you get a Lodolo of me!” [A giant cane started to come towards Grey, who was unaware of it at the time.] Lodolo said, “I’m Nick, and you’re gonna be sick–” [The cane grabbed Grey by his neck and dragged him backstage.] So, yesterday Nick Lodolo was nails, but not as in he dressed as Lenny Dykstra and said some off-color remark. He went 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.30. Earlier this year I gave you a Nick Lodolo fantasy, where I said he’s on the precipice of greatness next year, and nothing’s changed but the date (that was July). Yesterday, he left with a groin injury, but he was done for the year, as far as we were concerned. Excuse me, the Reds are calling it a “groin situation.” Groin Situation had some good early hits, but I didn’t love their later stuff. Any hoo! There’s nothing funny about peace, love and understanding Nick-Lo is ready to be an ace. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Dylan Beavers – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 4th homer. Also, in this game, Coby Mayo (1-for-3) hit his 10th homer. Putting Mayo and Beavers in the same thought to see something–[Cancel Police break down the door]–Yep! As I thought!

Ryan Mountcastle – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer. Just had a solid guffaw. A full-on laugh-a-rooney! A belly chuckle! Ya know what I was laughing about? How the Orioles moved the fences in and we thought that meant Mountcastle would hit 27 to 32 homers this year! Oh yeah, baby, nailed that one!

Drew Rasmussen – 2 1/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.76. Wait until Kevin Cash hears that the Rays were eliminated in July and there’s no reason to keep putting innings on their young pitchers’ arms. Boy, he’s gonna feel foolish!

Freddie Freeman – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 22nd and 23rd homer, hitting .293. If I’m being honest, I’m kinda surprised at how good Freeman’s holding it together as he clearly declines.

Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 54th homer. Busy working on the position recaps, which include end of season stats, and do y’all realize Ohtani is nearing 150 runs? He’s at 144. If he gets there, that’ll be top 20 in history. He’s also a lights-out pitcher!

Andy Pages – 1-for-4 and his 27th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Nice to see him hitting 5th. Only took Dave Roberts 155 games to realize Conforto wasn’t better.

Yoshinobu Yamamoto – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.49. He became the first Dodger with 200 strikeouts in a season since 2021 Walker Buehler. He hopes now to diverge completely from Walker Buehler’s example.

Walker Buehler – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.93. Sorry, apologies to Buehler for the previous blurb. He got his ERA all the way under 5!

Wenceel Perez – 1-for-3 and his 13th homer, as he hits third. Grabbed him for a batty call yesterday, and now I have battachment. There’s no Buy this afternoon, as that time has come, but going in Perez’s favor is A) Team playing for the playoffs. B) Guy hitting third.) There’s no C.

Riley Greene – 1-for-3 and his 36th homer, 2nd homer in three games. Have you seen him homer? He’s got big pop. Prolly comes up short, but near-40 homers and if he ever showed his 15-steal speed, he could be a top 10 player one of these years.

Seiya Suzuki – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 28th and 29th homer, after not hitting a home run since August 6th. Watch, he’ll now hit ten homers in the 1st week of the playoffs. But some people claim there’s no such thing as hot and cold players. I’m pfft’ing under my breath.

Shota Imanaga – 5 2/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 3.73. Welp, that’s a lousy way to end the year. Not to glass is half full it over here, but that means people are going to underrate him next year.

Nolan McLean – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.06. But he allowed three homers, so he had a great xFIP! [dodges thrown tomato] What?

Francisco Lindor – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 30th homer, and officially a 30/30 year. If he goes 20/20 this weekend, he might catch Ohtani’s 2024.

Brett Baty – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting .255. It feels like Vientos and Baty share a bat. Only one ever seems to be hot at a time.

Eugenio Suarez – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 49th homer. I’m told if he hits one more he’ll have 50. I’d check with Elias Sports Bureau, but they’ve blocked my number.

Jo Adell – 2-for-4 and a homer. And Adell will be the Super Bowl half time show! So, how many homers does Adell have? Go ahead guess! Bzzt, wrongo! 37!

Mike Trout – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer, hitting .228. Speaking of 37, that’s how old Trout seems.

Nolan Schanuel – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer. It’s almost inconceivable someone could only have 12 homers at the end of September. Even Gunnar has four more!

Vinnie Pasquantino – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 32nd homer. Vinarino Pasquantino Pasketti showing that meatball who’s a real manicotti!

Jose Berrios – Hit the IL with ‘Something the Jays made-up, do you really care?”

George Springer – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs. Missed this a few days ago when it happened, but George Springer accused umpires, and by extension MLB, of rigging games for the Yankees. This is crazy, the Yankees who, when everything is on the line, have to face in September [checks notes] the White Sox, who lost a MLB record games last year when this schedule was made? C’mon! No way! The Yankees’ natural rival is the White Sox, of course.

Daulton Varsho – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 20th homer. That’s in only 68 games. Cust kayin’.

Carlos Rodon – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.09. Currently working on the position recaps that start next week, and Rodon is around a top five starter this year. Were we Aware Bears?

Nick Kurtz – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 34th and 35th homer. That was in 409 ABs. Dude’s hitting 60 next year in SacTown.

Christian Walker – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 24th homer. The Orioles moving in the fence and Grounder Henderson becoming Adam Frazier was number two…and our number one narrative that ended up making no sense…Christian Walker going to a park great for him which led to nothing! Congrats to all those involved!

Framber Valdez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.66. With no actual evidence to back this up, hitters check out in the final week, i.e., Streamonator calls all weekend!

Bailey Ober – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.10. When interest in Ober is barely above a bear’s heartbeat during hibernation, he delivers. What an Obermensch.

Byron Buxton – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 33rd and 34th homer, 2nd and 3rd homer in two games. [watch on a long fob swings back and forth]…it’s still 2025, Buxton, and it always will be 2025…the year 2025 has 15,000 days…