You sign enough 30+ injury-prone right-handers from former Northeast clubs and one’s gotta work out, right? To make sure that joke made sense I went to look at Nathan Eovaldi‘s player page to see if he would be considered injury-prone. He has 1300-ish IP in his career in 11-ish years. That’s 118-ish innings per year. Is that ish good or ish bad? I haven’t the ishiest. We’ve reached the point where I don’t even know if 118 IP per year is a lot or a little innings. What’s a healthy amount per year? 150? So, only 30 less innings than a healthy amount? Okay, this is likely pedantic, and last thing I wanna be known as is a peda. *intern whispers in ear* No, I didn’t say that. I said peda. With an “a.” It’s totally fine. So, Nathan Eovaldi (8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.70) is a top 15 starter this year. Real or not real? We shall explore! 9.5 K/9, 1.2 BB/9, and 2.89 xFIP. His homers are crazy suppressed but what is clearly helping is being out of Fenway and its BABIP-rich environs. By the way, don’t ever say “environs” out loud or someone will have the right to punch you. Eovaldi looks like he’s capable of a 3.50 ERA in 120-ish innings. That ish ain’t bad. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Marcus Semien – 1-for-4 and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Fun fact! Marcus Semien is also what they call used hotel towels.

Mason Miller – Hit the IL with forearm tightness. Geez, good pitchers have forearm tightness. Bad pitchers like Lance Lynn have forearm flabbiness. You can’t win.

Luis Medina – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 8.18. Well, that is a Cali area code, but it ain’t Oakland’s.

Casey Schmitt – 4-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, 2nd homer, hitting .667. He was a favorite of mine back in March. Can we transport our brains back there for a moment and see what I saw? Great! Here we go! “Kodai Senga’s going to be such huge value–” Um, yeah, no, I don’t wanna see that from Grey’s March Brain. *skips ahead to another clip* “Jose Abreu is going to feast on the Crawford Boxes!” Wait, that’s not the clip I wanted from my March Brain either–What’s that? That Jose Abreu clip was from my May brain? Um…Let’s stop looking at brain clips, okay? Mind your own brain’s business! Back in March, I thought Casey Schmitt was the Giants’ best left side of the infield, and, ya know what, he still is. He has solid power and shouldn’t kill you in average. I had added him in deep leagues, but now that he’s up and hitting, I’m starting to grab him in shallower leagues too. Here’s one more March Brain Clip, “Hey, I’m totally fine with Alek Manoah as my ace.” Damn it! Stop with these clips! Oh, and Schmitt will clearly be in this afternoon’s Buy column.

Alex Cobb – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 1.70. Drafting Giants’ pitchers still makes sense from a fantasy standpoint. Sorry, just saying stuff aloud here while I stare at a mess Manaea has left on my team.

Tommy Henry – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.43. Tom Hank star of Captain Phillip with the famous quote, “I’m the pitcher now.”

Tyler Mahle – Will need Tommy John surgery. He can go under the knife knowing at least he’s leaving us with high hopes that weren’t ruined by terrible start after terrible start.

Bailey Ober – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.85. So, this was the random starter to pick up when I was dropping the other random starter who I just picked up after I dropped the other random starter who I just picked up. Damn, of course! Streamonator doesn’t like his next start, but who are we kidding here? We can be that picky?

Kyle Farmer – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer, a day after he was activated from the IL. Farmer has a shot of being that type of guy no one really wants, but could be worthwhile in deeper leagues. As always, if you have to ask, your league isn’t deep enough.

Fernando Tatis Jr. – 2-for-3 and his 5th homer, hitting .280. Fun the Jewels! Fun the Jewels fast!

Rougned Odor – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer, hitting .119. Finally, the breakout we anticipated seven years ago!

Yu Darvish – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.16. Is it me (it’s not me) or does it never seem like Darvish is pitching that well, then you look up and he’s a shutout away from having an ERA under 3?

Spencer Steer – 1-for-4 and hisn 5th homer, hitting .244. Right now, I have Steer on my dartboard, and I have three darts, they’re labeled: Christian, Encarnacion and Strand.

TJ Friedl – Will undergo an MRI for side soreness. Friedl, Friedl, Friedl, you may not be able to play.

Kodai Senga – 5 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.14. Thought his ERA was worse on the year. Not sure if that’s a good or bad sign. Think it’s good, but could be persuaded it’s bad.

Wander Franco – Left the game with neck spasms. Wonder if he slept on it funny. Sometimes it happens to me when I sleep on my Kings of Comedy box set.

Josh Lowe – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 5 RBIs, and his 8th homer, hitting .314. Sadly, Lowe’s in some sorta platoon that I don’t understand, and Kevin Cash has a stigmata on his wrist that is Latin for “Don’t let them know what you’re doing.”

Drew Rasmussen – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.62. To go into Yankee Stadium. The Stadium Across From The House That Ruth Built That Is Now A Parking Lot, and throw a two-hitter like, “Oops,” with a shrug. Damn, Rasmussen looks special, but do the underlying stats support it? *peeks under the hood, pokes head out and smiles widely* Ras ain’t mussen around, y’all! He’s got a 9.5 K/9, 2.2 BB/9, 52.6% GB rate (!), and a 3.12 xFIP, but also a 2.59 FIP, which I tend to believe more, and that looks like his ERA, so he’s basically pitching exactly as well as you think.

Domingo German – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.00. Since it’s a short schedule day, I’m looking up everyone and German’s pitching well, too. Assumingo he keeps the ball in the park.

Yoan Moncada – Likely to return on Friday. That means…*looks at the chart of White Sox past and future injuries*…so, now it’s Luis Robert’s turn to get hurt.

Mike Clevinger – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.79. I can’t help to see every crappy pitcher through the prism of, “Lance Lynn’s ERA is almost 3 runs higher than that bozo?”

Michael Massey – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but he does seem to be starting to heat up.

Bobby Witt Jr. – 0-for-3, 2 steals (11, 12), hitting .228. Member the days when teams would try to bat guys leadoff who could get on base? Haha, so nuts! What an era that was! Just going around and trying to win!

Brady Singer – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 7.71. “Wait, hold on…” Brady Singer staring at his fantasy ownership numbers. It’s a line chart that is headed straight down. People are around him, waiting to hear when to buy. “…no, not yet. I want to get it under 5% owned.” One of his co-workers, in a bad 80s suit, hair slicked back, “Brady, you’re gonna have to pitch bad for six weeks to get yourself under 5% owned.” Brady points his finger in his chest, “Then that’s what I’m gonna do!” Welp, I loved Singer coming into this year, but I’m not about to get back in after one semi-decent start.