The title refers to Lisztomania by Phoenix, which led me down a rabbit hole of Wikipedia that I have to share with you. Lisztomania was a frenzy over composer Franz Liszt, the original Justin Bieber. This is especially hilarious from Wikipedia, “Lisztomania was considered by some a genuine contagious medical condition and critics recommended measures to immunize the public,” and not considered the same as Beatlemania, which was used to mean a craze; Lisztomania caused actual craziness. Will Luzardo-Manaea cause women to rip their brooches from their bosoms and throw them at passing horse-drawn carriages in Oakland? Well, let’s let Tupac tell you about Oaktown, “Out on bail, fresh out of jail, California dreamin’, soon as I step on the scene, I’m hearin’ brooches screamin’.”  Screamin’ instead of whizzin’ by for the rhyme, obviously. Sean Manaea and Jesus Luzardo should be back with the team within ten days and now’s the time to stash them. For thousands of years, Samoans were a persecuted people, due to their big bones. One Samoan, Fa’a’la’a’la’la’la told one reporter, “If you ordered a flank steak, and got a thick ribeye, you’d be elated,” then Fa’a’la’a’la’la’la got choked up, “But if you order a five-foot, six-inch man and get a 485-pound man wearing a grass skirt, they make fun of you.” Manaea, the one skinny Samoan in the world, doesn’t have this problem. He has control, not just appetite control.  He could have an under-2 BB/9, which should limit damage, just like his home park. I’m stashing him everywhere. Luzardo is a bit more of an upside gamble. He also has pinpoint control, and can strike out a ton of guys. There’s little to not like about Luzardo, except how he might be deployed in September and does he get enough starts to matter. Plus, roofies, those darn things. I’m stashing Luzardo too, but I’m not throwing brooches at him. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Will Smith – I just had a vision of the 2021 All-Star Game with Smith, Jazz Chisholm, Jeff McNeil and LeMahieu and having a meeting of DJ Jazz Jeff with Will Smith.

Francisco Mejia – Someone asked yesterday if I think Mejia is just a hot bat or if he can breakout still at the age of 23. 23 is young for a catcher. Yadier didn’t break out until he was 30. Mejia might not even break out by next year and still have time to become the best catcher in baseball, but it could absolutely happen. As for right now, he’s hot.

Yonder Alonso – On the 7-day Player Rater, Yonder was over all other 1st basemen who were under 50% owned.  So, they were under Yonder, which is a great philosophical question for yodelers.  “If everything is ‘over Yonder,’ what is under Yonder?”

Jon Berti – Not saying he would’ve been great but the Jays kept Berti in the minors for eight years and he had a season of 56 steals in the low minors, and 8/21/.314 in Triple-A, but the Jays really needed Brandon Drury getting at-bats. Baseball:  The only sport where you don’t field your best team.

Ryan McMahon – The Rockies are home a lot in the final six weeks. Ya know, MLB schedulers put Rockies home when the weather gets cold again. Brilliant stuff, fellas. Put A-1 sauce on your brain because that is a prime cut.

Luis Urias – If you’re a ‘buy Urias’ guy, we won’t judge you here. We’re accepting of all people.

J.D. Davis – Just gave you my J.D. Davis fantasy. It was written on a piece of paper, put into a bottle, cast into the ocean and found by someone on a deserted island who read the first line and said, “Who can read this chicken scratch? They should’ve typed it.”

Kyle Seager – Or as Momma Seager would say, “I should’ve named that other kid Borey-in-Fantasy.”

Ian Happ – True story alert! I saw three U-Hauls outside of my house the other day, and it turned out someone ordered me “posts” to put in front of “hype” for every time I mention Ian Happ. Whoever was so generous, thank you.

Edwin Rios – Looks like a straight NL-Only pickup for now since his strikeout rate in Triple-A was *eyes bulge out like John Lithgow in The Twilight Zone movie* 34.4%.

Gavin Lux – We’re about two weeks away from his emergence as the Dodgers ignore their Lux cap.

Mike Tauchman – Recently gave you my Mike Tauchman fantasy. In it, I showed you who had the power.

Cameron Maybin – Worry a bit that now that the Yankees are done with the Orioles, Maybin (and other Yankees) are going to lose their shine, their luster, their…C’mon, thesaurus, give me a good one…their Estevez! Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have tried a synonym for Sheen.

Randal Grichuk – The grand gentleman, Randal Grichuk, who puts a tarp down over puddles for ladies to traipse over, has been extremely hot recently, but if that’s too showy, he can do less. Just say the word.

Teoscar Hernandez – Ever hear about the snail who had dreams of fame in Hollywood? It was five inches outside the city, took five months to get to Hollywood, five seconds to get rejected and five months to get back home, while its family cheered, “Watch the Teoscar go!”

Trent Thornton – Popular week for Blue Jays nobody wants to own. Thornton is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to its local karaoke bar.

Anthony DeSclafani – This is another Streamonator call. “I saw a young lady sing That’s What Friends Are For on Tuesday night and I was wondering if she wanted another friend. You don’t know who I’m talking about? Oh.”  Streamonator so sad!

Emilio Pagan – *loud whisper* Psst! Pagan is the Rays’ closer. He should be owned.

Archie BradleyDiamondbacks seem as committed to Bradley being their closer as they were to not making him their closer for the last two years. What changed? Therein lies the riddle wrapped in puzzle inside of Greg Holland’s signing.

Mark Melancon – What if the whole time Guy Fieri was telling us he was going to Flavor Town, as in a town is a boring mundane place, so he was going to add flavor? Flavor town as a verb and noun. Similarly, what if the Braves have been saying Melancon is the closer as in he’s closer to them when they’re saying it?

SELL

Jean Segura – If I did the ol’ Player A vs. Player B stats with Segura and any other player, you’d fall into a heap of tears screaming for your mommy to buy you Doritos and get out of her basement because you want your solitude. What’s that, you think you can withstand it? Okay, but I have my doubts. Here we go:  Player A:  62/11/48/.283/7 vs. Player B:  57/19/56/.274/4.  Player B is clearly better.  Player A is Jean Segura, Player B is Freddy Galvis. I told you that you couldn’t handle it! If you still have a trade deadline, then check the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer, but this is a drop not a sell. And a buy on a bag of Cool Ranch, ma!

 
  1. William Hung says:
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    1st!

    • William Hung says:
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      I’m surprised not one Red Sox hitter is on your buy for this weekend’s series against the O’s

      Though Asher does go against them tomorrow…

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Not sure which one of them isn’t owned, I’m sure the Hittertron likes them all tho

        • William Hung says:
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          Sandy Leon! Mitch Moreland! Dustin Pedroia!

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Pedroia! Haha

            “Coach, I can play!” “Dustin, you have no knees.” “It makes it easier to be a Sparky Anklebiter!”

            • William Hung says:
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              I think since you called Benintendi a sell, he’s been pretty rock solid – this weekend series, his ass better feast… i can’t drop him and nobody in my league wants to trade for him, so he’s gotta play!

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Yeah, he stopped hitting everything into the ground

                • jbona3 says:
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                  Benni made some mechanical adjustments to get back to something similar to his college swing. If I recall correctly, he shortened his stride, among other things.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Great, he needed it!

  2. C says:
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    Yo Grey,

    Great work on all the write ups this week. I ended up blowing up my roster, dealing both Yelich and Bellinger in one trade and Hader in another (punting saves) in an effort to close some pitching categories. Still firmly in second place, but out of moves and trade deadline approaching in my 12-team 6×6 (obp, holds).

    I may actually be overstaffed in pitching now and am not thrilled with my Util bats, but again pitching is where I think I have the most ground to gain a 1250 IP limit and I am on track to just meet it or be slightly over at this point. You see anything I should try to adjust with a trade before the deadline in a few weeks?

    C – J. McCann
    1B – M. Olson
    2B – M. Moustakas
    3B – A. Rendon
    SS – T. Story
    OF – Y. Alvarez
    OF – M. Betts
    OF – A. Bennetendi
    Util – J. Polanco
    Util – P. DeJong
    DL – M. Haniger

    P – G. Cole
    P – S. Bieber
    P – J. DeGrom
    P – E. Rodriguez
    DL – C. Kluber
    DL – B. Snell
    DL – T. Glasnow

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! Late deadline huh? I like the team, hitting still looks solid, UTIL bats look streamable since league appears shallow — your pitching looks stacked, but I don’t trust EdRod

      • C says:
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        Thanks, Grey! Enjoy the weekend

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Oh I always do!

  3. William Hung says:
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    I thought I read somewhere Sean Manaeaeaeaeaea might be a bullpen arm – can’t seem to find the article now though

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Maybe Middler?

    • holyscheisse says:
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      I think Manaea has options too so there’s a chance they keep him at AAA and/or bounce him up and down.

      • Prog Nation says:
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        This is from rotoworld.
        “According to Susan Slusser of the San Francisco Chronicle, it could be difficult for Sean Manaea (shoulder, side) to crack the Athletics’ starting rotation if “everyone is pitching well.”

        Advice: At least that was the sense Slusser got from manager Bob Melvin, who has not committed to using Manaea in the starting rotation. Slusser notes that Manaea has minor-league options, so the A’s could choose to stash him in Triple-A until a spot opens up for him in Oakland. “

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yuck… maybe I jumped the gun… guess we’ll see… he’s just an IL stash either way

  4. BSA says:
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    Damn you putting Luzardo in the title – forced me to grab him before A. I wanted & B. before @Alkoholic. It’s that time of year!! Stashing and grabbing is as much defense as it is offense.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, my bad!

  5. hal_incandenza says:
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    I’m not sure how often you encounter “this nearly writes itself” moments, but I just read that Jung Ho Kang signed with the Brewers.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha

  6. BSA says:
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    Enjoying the Berti right now while Aldaberto is out. Mondesi on his own was bringing me the lead in SBs –

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, I have Berti in places too, doing better than Trea for SBs

      • Slappy Jack says:
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        ugh!
        I have this h2h team where i have Treat and Mondesi

        “I will rule the world of SB’s!” March me said

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha yup

  7. Dude at Dudes says:
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    Would you start either Monty or Houser today? QS, K/9 league

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Who are they facing?

      • BSA says:
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        I’m throwing Houser against Washington today. Hoping for lightening in a bottle – not the kind that Buehler laid on me last night.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I like Houser, seems like a decent gamble — @WASH is tough tho

          • Dude at Dudes says:
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            Monty gets the Mets @ Kaufmann, Houser @ Washington

            By the way thanks Grey! Love the work!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Monty

              Thanks!

  8. jmccullough says:
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    Move on from Segura at MI for the likes of Didi, Marwin, or McMahon? (10 team H2H)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yes

      • jmccullough says:
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        Which out of those 3?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      McMahon (home), Didi

  9. coles' burnt out says:
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    inherited a dynasty team & hamels is the #1 starter, looking to rebuild & luzardo is out there. how does dropping hamels for luzardo sound at this point in their careers?

    you’ve helped immensely in my other leagues once again this year buddy!
    thanks!