Robert Downey Jr. and Phil Hughes have more in common than you might think.  Both dealt with notoriously weak starts to their careers in The Big Apple.  Hughes in pinstripes had four straight years of a 4+ ERA, and Downey on SNL.  Both had to deal with brace-faced divas, Joe Girardi and Anthony Michael Hall.  One was scouted by Gene Michael, the other Lorne Michaels.  One wanted to impress Pettitte, one wanted to avoid petting Randy Quaid’s pet squirrel.  One had to wait for A-Rod to finish frosting his hair before he could use the bathroom, one made frosting out of cocaine.  But once they were out of New York, the world opened up to each.  Yesterday, Hughes won his 16th game, going 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, and lowering his ERA to 3.52.  His K-rate is 8 and his walk rate is 0.7, as he set the all-time strikeout-to-walk ratio at 11.63.  Think about that walk rate for a second.  Okay, the second is up.  He walked 16 guys in 209 2/3 IP.  That’s as terrific as 186 Ks, which is what he had.  His ERA doesn’t look amazing in today’s day and age where everyone has a sub-3 ERA, but Hughes was actually unlucky and had a 3.15 xFIP.  Everything together has me excited about Hughes for 2015 fantasy baseball.  I could see him being relegated to 2nd fiddle status with some other 3rd or 4th fantasy starters, but outperforming his draft spot.  Circling back to AMH, any time a guy like Hughes strikes out as much as Anthony Michael Hall and walks less than Uncle Buck, color me excited.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Trevor Plouffe – Fractured his forearm and is done for the year.  Plouffe goes his career as an arm wrestler!

Danny Santana – 3-for-4, 1 run, hitting .319.  Dannys Antana has 7 homers and 19 steals in only 97 games.  Wrap your bacon around that scallop, stick a toothpick through it and call it delicious!

Ender Inciarte – 1-for-4 and two steals (18, 19).  The hottest schmotato in the Land of a 1000 Schmotatoes?  If I had to Pickett, I’d go Ender.

Clayton Kershaw – 8 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 11 Ks, lowering his ERA to 1.77.  As with any pitchers who have pitched their last game of the regular season, you can drop Kershaw in redraft leagues and just go off of the Stream-o-Nator for the final starts of the year.  I know it probably feels weird dropping him.  Take a screenshot of your team with him on there, so when you go to have a fantasy team jersey made up with all your guys’ last names, you have it.  Real quick, people will think you have a Gaylord Perry jersey with all the teams he pitched for.

Yasiel Puig – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer.  Seriously, where was this for the last three months?

Chris Sale – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA ends the year at 2.17.  That’s assuming Robin Ventura doesn’t get any bright ideas and throw Sale on Sunday for 120 pitches just to stretch out his arm for the long winter.  “What?  He has two elbows.”  That’s Robin Ventura.

Justin Verlander – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ending his ERA at 4.54.  This final start should help propel all the people that held him all year from 11th to 10th overall in their standings.  Prepare yourself for a 45 IP scoreless postseason streak by Verlander with incessant Joe Buck mentions of how ‘Verlander looks as good as he’s ever seen him’ and your buddy watching the game with you saying each time, “He must not have seen the selfies with Kate Upton.’

Rajai Davis – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 35th steal, and 2nd in as many games.  After the game, the King of SAGNOF said, “Just try to Thames this beast!”  Then he elbowed Jarrod Dyson to laugh.

J.D. Martinez – 3-for-4, 1 run, hitting .320.  Gonna come down to the final weekend for the race of “Who’s Better Between Miggy and J.D.?”  Right now, they’re tied at 23 homers, but Miggy’s only hitting .312.  Won’t be the first time Miggy’s chasing a J.D.

Mike Trout – 1-for-2, 1 run and his 16th steal.  Left yesterday’s game with a stomach illness.  Might’ve been the fish he ate.  Cannibal!

Howie Kendrick – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs, hitting .292.  The fact that The Sciosciapath isn’t benching any of his regulars, and sticking it to the A’s, feels like a deleted scene from a teen comedy where the geek has beat the bully, then backs up his car over the bully’s pet, mugs his mother and calls the sister fat.  It’s enough already.  You beat the bully, leave the A’s alone!

Jon Lester – 7 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ending with a 2.46 ERA.  To show their appreciation for the fine season he just had, the Yankees bought Lester the state of Kentucky.  If he signs with them in the offseason, they’ll throw in the fried chicken.

Lisalverto Bonilla – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Some will say Lisalverto is merely traveling down a road that Anibal paved for men with girl names, but GLAAD and the work they’ve done for gender-confused names really started the movement.

Luis Sardinas – 1-for-3 and two steals (4, 5).  Hasn’t shown much of anything, but maybe in the final days he wants to show the Rangers that his speed plays.  I’d gamble on him if I were desperate for SAGNOF.

Ryan Rua – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer in the last four games.  As I’ve been saying the last few days, the Rangers are actually playing now.  No idea why, maybe someone guilted them.  That’s how Cougs motivates me.  Either way, I grabbed Rua in one league.

Rougned Odor – 2-for-3 and a slam (9) and legs (4).  Actually, maybe Cougs is guilting the Rangers.  She really is good at it.

Jonathan Villar – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer.  Villar’s another guy I grabbed a few days ago.  He’s hitting around .350 in the last week and has speed to burn.  It takes a village to win, it takes a Villar to get steals.

Yunel Escobar – Done for the season.  He’ll be back next year; no need for Gatorade to produce a 30-second in memoriam commercial.

Jake Odorizzi – 3 IP, 5 ER, ERA ends at 4.18.  You know how Hunter Pence has a tattoo that says, Gangly Manbird?  Odorizzi should have one that says, On The Road Shitbird.  Doode’s a flippin’ mess outside of Tampa.  So he feels like he’s back in Tampa, the Rays should have Hooters cater the clubhouse meals in away starts.  Or Outback.  Or TGIF’s.  Or whatever chain he eats at in Tampa.  And it has to be a chain.  There’s nothing else there.

Garin Cecchini – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 1st homer.  Red Sox players gave him the cold shoulder after his homer, not high-fiving him.  So, Cecchini put out a hit on all their families.

Xander Bogaerts – 2-for-4, 1 run, 3 RBIs.  Since he didn’t play on Tuesday, and I didn’t know if he would play the rest of the year…Oh, we know where this is going.  I dropped him.  Dah!  I want him back!

Bryce Brentz – 2-for-5, 2 runs.  If this baseball thing doesn’t work out, Brentz has the name for a luxury rent-a-car operation.

Russell Martin – Left yesterday’s game with hamstring tightness.  With the Pirates in the playoffs already (okay, that’s weird), Martin might sit until the end of days.  Different team, but maybe available:  a little birdie told me Evan Gattis should return today.  Little Birdie said, “Chirp, chirp.”  What, you don’t speak little birdie?

Julio Teheran – 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ending the year with a 2.89 ERA.  I was floored when I saw he gave up two runs and got a win.  Braves, you are too kind!  Oh, wait, Teheran drove in two runs himself.  Yeah, that explains how he locked down the win.  I’ve said plenty of times how I nailed Teheran’s projections and rankings in the preseason, so I want belabor it.  I’ll save it for my October recaps!

Justin Upton – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and a slam (28) and legs (8).  Rudy and I were just on the phone yesterday talking — we talk, y’all! — about how Upton is no longer a stealing threat.  He used to steal 20 bases on the reg, now he’s lucky to get 8.  Solid year, but not what he once was, and that’s only at 27 years old.

Chris Johnson – Left yesterday’s game with a lower back strain.  You’d think Johnson would have a lower front strain.

Jake Arrieta – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA ending at 2.53.  As previously mentioned, I’m going to Colombia in November for a week.  While there, I plan on doing a handful of coke and spreading the gospel of Arrieta to anyone that will listen to my broken Spanish.  If I could mule Arrieta there in my anal cavity, so he could tell them himself, I would.

Mark Buehrle – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks.  The good news is if there ever was supposed to be an apocalypse, Buehrle having a 3.39 ERA through a whole season is a pretty good sign of it.  Yet, here we are.  Unless the Mayans owned Buehrle in their league, and are just waiting to collect league winnings before blowing up this little marble.  Crap.

Aaron Sanchez – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 3rd save.  I’m guessing John Gibbons went with Sanchez for the save because he forgot he went back to Janssen after saying he would go to Sanchez.  Hard to keep all this straight when you’re running a major league club.  Gibbons needs a Craigslist intern!

Taijuan Walker – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Did Taijuan just neg me all season to turn in one final gem so I’d be all over his jock again next year?  He did, didn’t he?  Dammit!

Kyle Kendrick – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks vs. Brad Hand (7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks).  Exhibit A why I like to stream at the end of the season.  Hitters either pull a Koufax and take all the September Jewish holidays off, or guys like Justin Bour are hitting cleanup.  Only reason Bour’s even hitting cleanup is because Giancarlo is out and the Marlins are Bour’ing some out for the brother who ain’t here.

Billy Hamilton – Left the game with a mild concussion.  Oh, just one of those!  Have Nia Vardalos spray some Windex on his head and he’ll be good as new.  So, that sounds like the end of Billy Hamilton’s season.  This should mean an uptick of Chris Heisey for the final days of the season, but more Chris Heisey really only excites Brooke Shields.

Kyle Lohse – 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 6 Ks, ending the year with a 3.54 ERA.  Hitters seriously stopped coming to games last Sunday.

Jean Segura – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs.  Then there’s hitters who stopped coming to games in April and re-emerged in the last week.  The worst Segura can do right now is have an insane final weekend.  Don’t alert people.  I will remember you next year.  You have my word.

Tommy Medica – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and a slam (9) and legs (6).  Does nine homers lead the Padres?  No.  You had to think about it though, didn’t you?  If the Padres moved their fences in 75 feet all around, I’m still not sure if anyone would hit 25 homers besides Gyorko.  I’m being serious.

Charlie Blackmon – 1-for-4 and his 19th homer.  Blackmon had his family in attendance at Petco yesterday, which resulted in the most cheers in San Diego for a Blackmon since Tony Gwynn retired.

Jason Vargas – 4 IP, 4 ER vs. Trevor Bauer (4 1/3 IP, 4 ER).  I’ll give you a visualization of yesterday’s matchup.  Vargas burped, then Bauer threw that burp 300 feet.

Yan Gomes – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer.  Yesterday, the Indians actually rested Everyday Yan Gomes.  From catching.  He still DH’d.  You didn’t think they’d actually let him rest a full game, did you?  One day next year, Gomes is going to squat down and like a Pez dispenser his knee is going to open up and spit out cartilage.

Michael Brantley – 3-for-4, 1 run, hitting .329.  Who told you to draft Brantley?  Doesn’t rhyme with Snafu Larry.  It isn’t a world of roto.  It’s the Fantasy Master Lothario.

Billy Butler – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs.  Should sleep well tonight.  Anything less than 3 ribbies and he’s up at 2 AM, snacking.

Shane Greene – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA up to 3.78.  Fuggedaboutit!  That’s a fickin’ disgusting display on Captain Jetes’s next-to-last home game!  Oh, wait, maybe Greene pitched poorly so not to upstage Jetes, who went 0-for-4.  Hmm, in that case, ya done good, kid!

Mark Teixeira – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 22nd homer, hitting .219 on the year.  In the Noo Yawk accent, his name sounds like Mawkish-Share-A.  Dictionary.com defines mawkish as sentimental in a feeble or sickly way.  The only ones that still care about Te(i)x do so for sentimental reasons from what he did in other years, and he’s been feeble and/or sickly for most of his past two years.  Coincidence?  No, I don’t think so.

Chase Headley – 3-for-4, 3 runs and his 6th homer on the Yanks and 13th overall, as he hit third in the lineup yesterday.  The only teams Headley’s a number three hitter?  The Padres or the Yankees.  Ouch.  Okay, maybe the Marlins, Rangers, Rays, Astros and Reds, but I was making a point.  A better point until I added those other names, granted.

Stephen Drew – 1-for-2 and his 7th homer, hitting .165 on the year.  He should be doing a victory lap with Jeter too, because he should not be in the league again after 2014.

Bud Norris – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.65, and ended the year with 15 wins.  Is he pitching in the playoffs for the O’s?  The Orioles should actually ask if they can use a different team’s staff for the playoffs.  Chris Tillman matching up with Kershaw?  Um, yeah, okay.  That’s gonna work out great.  On an unrelated note, my iPhone is anti-Semitic.  It autocorrected Rosh Hashanah to Rosh HAHAHAHAHA.  What the eff, Siri?

Nelson Cruz – 4-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI.  “I want to see if you can stretch yourself a little further.”  That’s Boras talking to Nelson Cruz’s wallet.

  1. O'Skimpy says:
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    Honorable mention to Andrew McClutchen for his 2nd HR in three days.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      You got it

  2. SteveUK says:
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    There’s some support in my family for the idea that royce! and I *could* be brothers. However he has a beard that I could never hope to emulate.

    *Sob* I miss you guys *sob*

    • royce! says:
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      @SteveUK: I always wanted a brother! Well, I have one but his beer and baseball knowledge is basically nonexistent, so let’s pretend that he doesn’t exist, because one might as well not if one doesn’t like beer or baseball….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @SteveUK: Wait, I could really use a brother, royce! has one!

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        I’m here for you, Grey.

        • Clint says:
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          @Sky:

          Just don’t create bunk beds because the extra space for activities is all just a rouse that will end up killing Grey.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Sky: Can we have bunk beds?

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            Definitely! I get top!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Nice, it’s warmer underneath

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                Especially after three bean chili night!

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  More a two or four bean chili guy, sometimes wonder if we’re related

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
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                    You like evens, I like odds. It’s why we’re such a great pair.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      We’re like a great electrical plug!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Peas and carrots!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Pees and poops!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Wizzes and shizzes!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Streams and Cleveland streams!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      crunks and drunks!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      On the ones and twos!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Hey, could you retweet the trailer tweet I sent out?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Wow, that looks really well done. RT in progress

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Thanks!

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            Who’s Dana Plato in all of this?

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Sky: let’s leave tehol out of this

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                @J-FOH: I nominate you as Charlotte Rae, then

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Sky: I think of my self as a dudley…smoking like a champ

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          You can do it, bro! royce! can be our cousin or distant uncle from a failed marriage by momma….

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: I’m coming for him, I dropped 4 points in two days and we have 4 left. coming at you

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Get the paper, get the paper!

          • SteveUK says:
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            @Grey: 13 starters going combined today and tomorrow…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              I was gonna say you need to max your starters, but I know we’re not supposed to help in RCL, even family… But I figured you’d know that anyway… Sucks with spotty internet to be throwing guys like that, be nice to be able to see how things are going and pull guys from your lineup if you no longer need them

              • SteveUK says:
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                @Grey: Yeah some crappy guys today, more to get me to 179 than anything else. Reasonable crew of 9 tomorrow though. Had to be tomorrow as opportunities to tinker will be limited for the next few…

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Hopefully you can pull it out… Win one for the everyman!

                  • J-FOH

                    J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: I want to crush his soul…til Monday, then we can be friends again. Unlike Sky,.we have broke up.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I hear ya on Sky, he’s just, I don’t know, mean…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                  • J-FOH

                    J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: stupid oregean arrogance….ooh you have clean air and no traffic. woopty friggin do.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      The only thing that pollutes the air up here is ‘smug’.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      And patchouli

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      They think they’re special since they don’t wear deodorant…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      And because we inspired Portlandia

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Fred Armisen is funny, but doode is really scary looking

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Him and I have a lot in common

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      You both Boof Bonser’ed Peggy from Mad Men?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Nah, we Shia Labeouf’ed her

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Wore a paper bag over your head and screwed her?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Nah, create a movie out of her writings and not credit her.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Ah! I was gonna go next, you had a falling out with her over her Scientology beliefs…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Jesus stories are hard enough to take. Space Jesus just puts it beyond my want to even try and comprehend.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Space Jesus was the first title for Space Jam but L. Ron sued Warner Bros.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Depeche Mode was gonna do a re-up with ‘Personal Space Jesus’ but the same happened.

                      BTW, since we’re on the Scientology kick: WTF happened to Will Smith. Dude is a complete loon now and so is Jada. I’d eff the crazy right outta her, though…

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Isolation from his grounding force: DJ Jazzy Jeff

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Maybe he needs pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes:

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      That video made me hungry

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      The message was far from subliminal. You must eat.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I’m thinking empanadas… What are you gonna have? You should live in LA!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I should. I watched ‘I know That voice’ last night. Documentary about all the voice actors and their craft. I think I could do it, Grey! Make me a star!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Get in line! (Behind Nick)

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Nick will be the next H. Jon Benjamin

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Haha… How was that movie? It’s been staring at me to watch on Netflix for a while

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I have to watch the second half later but the intro was great. Never really thought about the work that goes into it. Wasn’t surprised to find out music was a big part of how they viewed their craft, though. Mimicking a singer/sound is very much what they’re doing. I used to practice all the time trying to find out ‘where that sound was coming from’. Never realized that could be a job. I was pretty good at it when I was younger!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      You don’t mean 20 Feet From Stardom do you?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Haha, nope. Many of those voice actors have some massive sound chops. Not everyone can be H. Jon Benjamin and just walk on and say ‘this is my voice, use it’. The guy who did Bender from Futurama basically ‘created’ the character based on his voice. They only had the drawings, no personality behind it.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Cool, I’ll have to watch it… Thought that was the one you meant…

                  • J-FOH

                    J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: they also have lots of 20 something dirty hippy transients. It’s inspirational to say the least

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, cool hemp pullover, Sky!

      • SteveUK says:
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        @royce!: @Grey: Given you guys’ respective NZ connections, we’re practically related as it is.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          BTW, wore my shirt yesterday… Thanks again!

      • SteveUK says:
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        @J-FOH: Yeah, that’s where I saw it. Time zone didn’t allow me to jump in at the time.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @SteveUK: I feel like a the twice removed step cousin that no one will let borrow money nor sleep on their couch

      • royce! says:
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        @J-FOH: I didn’t notice that earlier…should’ve upped the roofie dosage- I got a hotel room in Anaheim but only slept until a little after 6.

  3. Tarman Got Him says:
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    In my big money league where I missed the 1st 7 picks. I assembled a team where I am in the finals H2H 12 teams up 9-0-1!! 4 days left.

    BUT I made a boo boo

    I’m the guy who streamed CJ and didn’t listen to you, but between starts from Arrieta, Lohse, owning 4 solid closers, Cole, among other, my era shot to almost below 2.

    Problem.

    I’m up about .150 in ABG, 2 HR’s, 6 RBI and 1 run along with 2 SB.

    I have 5 adds left, and realized after midnight I have 4 position players (I am sure Mesoraco will sit) to my opponents 10 including 3 in a double header.

    Am I screwed? Haha

    I’m actually in 2 other finals, but this one means the most.

    Thought is share since you guys always help me to perfection.

    1 actual question:
    Would you stream

    Niese @ HOU
    Gallardo @ CIN
    Quintana @ KC
    Simon @ PIT

    Thank you

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d stream all of them… Simon first

      • Steve says:
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        @Grey: @Grey: Simon v. PIT (in CIN)….hitter’s park, not the same as pitching in PIT.

  4. JeF With 1 F says:
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    FACT OF THE DAY:
    A dog’s average body temperature is 101 degrees fahrenheit.

    • Swfcdan says:
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      @JeF With 1 F: Whereas a humans is?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @JeF With 1 F: Stop sticking things in dog’s butts, JeF. Please…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: maybe thats his thing. Be more sensitive sky….shit one night with steveLA and I’m being mindful. Dah!

        • JeF With 1 F says:
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          @Sky: @J-FOH: Im dedicated to these facts and willing to do what it takes to make sure they are correct, right now im working with Grey to prove that 98.6 is the correct Temp for humans. *puts on gloves and takes vaseline from Greys glove compartment*…..*Wonders why its in his glove compartment*

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            I bought gloves that were two sizes too small and I need help getting them on

            • JeF With 1 F says:
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              @Grey: Gloves have more then one finger and trojan doesnt make them…you bought the wrong stuff man!

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                I’m hung like a cow!

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          You’ve changed, Jake Full of Hesitancy

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            HA

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            That is so his name now

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              I’m sure he’ll enjoy it.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                He’ll need to think about it for a bit and might not know if he likes it at first

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  I’m picturing him sitting down at his desktop reading it, then standing up and nervously pacing his office, rubbing his thumb against the spot right below his lower lip. Then sitting back down and reading it again only to get back up and do the same thing.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    You don’t think he questions his baby’s mama on it, and she’s like, “Well, duh, you won’t even commit to marrying me!”

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      JFOH: I’m not sure if I should wear pants today. I’ll just go to work and think on it before I make a hasty decision.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      “There’s something freeing about not deciding.” After someone gives him a dirty look for getting one of everything at El Pollo Loco.

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Sky: @Grey: Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck all of you, Nobody is cool….I’m out

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Ha… You can’t be definitive now!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Are you sure you’re this angry?

                    • J-FOH says:
                      (link)

                      @Sky: @Grey: I hate you like I hate ESPN and i hate Grey like I hate Bochy

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Bochy, that’s right… I was wondering why I couldn’t see the field the other night…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
                      (link)

                      You say that with your words but you say this with your actions:

                    • J-FOH

                      J-FOH says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey: I did and will again…because we are still friends, unlike SKY, who is not my friend any more.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Sky who? See what I did there?!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Oh, and thanks!

                  • J-FOH

                    J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Sky: My actions would be more like this if you weren’t so far away. I really hate you right now and your soft 90’s musical references.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      JFOH, could you retweet my friend’s trailer tweet too?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Took a lot of dog anal thermometers to figure that one out, and we appreciate the effort!

      • JeF With 1 F says:
        (link)

        @Grey: No thermometers necessary

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          You can tell temperature by your finger? That’s awesome!

          • JeF With 1 F says:
            (link)

            @Grey: nope only with my tounge

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              It’s so much grosser when tongue is spelled that way

              • JeF With 1 F says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Ha oops

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  It was like a human lounge chair in your mouth…

                  • JeF With 1 F says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: HA HA…someone just walked in my office as i was laughing at this and looked at me like i was crazy

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Haha, nice

  5. One Man Crusade says:
    (link)

    Thank you sir for the great write ups. I drafted Brantley and Dickerson late in the draft and they ended up being studs.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nice! No problem

  6. harry says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey, in the championship round this week and its pretty close, buddy just picked up a bunch of pitchers leaving him 7 games left for the week, to my 4 (though currently ahead on most of the cats, though SO not by as much)

    I have 2 moves left that I am looking to use to pad the pitching (or maybe use one for Ender.. not sure yet) Going to drop Scherzer for 1, and will have to pick between Arcia and Marisnick for the next. Who would you drop between those 2?

    Pitchers that are available are:
    Vogelsong (SD)
    Hutchinson (@Bal) <- this one scares me, but SON likes it
    Worley (@Cin)
    Porcello (Min)
    Duffy (@CWS)
    Pineda (@Bos)

    Which 2 would you take here? (and between the two, who would you be most comfortable with?)
    would the same 2 be your choices with a slight bias to SOs?

    Thanks for all the help! Would not have been in the championship week without it!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      No problem… Vogelsong, Pineda… Lose Arcia

  7. Gonzo_The_Great says:
    (link)

    Am I a bad person for wishing that Arieta laid an egg in his final start so people would more easily forget about him next year and I’d then be able to nab him stupidly late like I did with Kluber this year?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Gonzo_The_Great: Ha, nope, I wouldn’t have minded the same… A lot of people still won’t trust him

  8. papasmurf says:
    (link)

    Based on his moves, I suspect the 4th place team is playing his team like it’s a razzball league to try to drop down to 5th place to get a higher draft pick and an extra keeper spot for next year. He’s been benching his regs and starting scrubs from the WW.

    But the funny thing is, he benched King Felix and Odorizzi and started Kyle Gibson, Ranaudo, and Tajuan Walker… The good pitchers bombed and the scrubs dominated hahaha.

    • Swfcdan says:
      (link)

      @papasmurf: haha pretty funny. But change your rules in the offseason to have the order of picks be based on this, works far better:

      4,5,6,7,8,9,10,3,2,1

      No flunking ever happens.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
        (link)

        @Swfcdan:wouldn’t that version make the 3rd team try to get 4th?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @papasmurf: Haha, baseball, who could figure it

  9. crafty35a says:
    (link)

    Well, my finals matchup has devolved into a total streamfest… I got the jump on my opponent for tomorrow’s starters, but I only have enough slots to start 6 of the following 7 – any thoughts on who to bench? I put these in the order that stream-o-nator ranks them, but I don’t feel great about this ranking at all. It loves Hutchison but hates Tillman for some reason, which seems strange to me (come to think of it, it seems to love every pitcher who faces the solid O’s lineup)

    Bench 1 of the following!:
    Matt Garza v ChC (Wada)
    Drew Hutchison v Bal (Tillman)
    Jonathan Niese v Hou (Peacock)
    Rick Porcello v Min (Swarzak)
    Ian Kennedy @ SF (Vogelsong)
    Vance Worley @ Cin (Mike Leake)
    Chris Tillman @ Tor (Hutchison)

  10. chris says:
    (link)

    actually, Bernie told me to draft Brantley which was brilliant. by the way you helped me win two championships this year and a daiquiri is coming your way my friend.

    will you be putting together a top 100 heading into next season? I have mess of player in my 10 team keeper and don’t even know who to keep.

    Lineup below: Can keep either 4 Offensive players and 3 Pitchers or 4 Pitchers and 3 Offensive pLayer.

    • chris says:
      (link)

      @chris: forgot to post my team below…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @chris: Mike will be doing keeper posts all winter… Nicely done, congrats!

  11. chris says:
    (link)

    McCann, Brian(1B,C) NYY
    Frazier, Todd(1B,3B) CIN
    Kinsler, Ian(2B) DET
    Arenado, Nolan(3B) COL
    Ramirez, Hanley(SS) LAD
    Cabrera, Melky(OF) TOR
    Carter, Chris(1B,OF) HOU
    Pence, Hunter(OF) SF
    Brantley, Michael(OF) CLE

    Moss, Brandon(1B,OF) OAK
    Peralta, Jhonny(SS) STL
    Calhoun, Kole(OF) LAA
    Heyward, Jason(OF) ATL
    Hunter, Torii(OF) DET
    Rios, Alex(OF) TEX
    Machado, Manny(3B) BAL

    Active Pitchers
    Fister, Doug(SP) WAS
    Kershaw, Clayton(SP) LAD
    McHugh, Collin(SP) HOU
    Shoemaker, Matt(SP) LAA
    Strasburg, Stephen(SP) WAS
    Cishek, Steve(RP) MIA
    McGee, Jake(RP) TB

    Odorizzi, Jake(SP) TB
    Paxton, James(SP) SEA
    Smyly, Drew(RP,SP) TB

    • nick the dick says:
      (link)

      @chris: gotta go Frazier, Arrenado, Brantley, Kinsler with Kershaw, Stras, Fister. Although I really like Mchugh

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @chris: Frazier, Arrenado, Brantley, Hanley… Kershaw, Stras, dealer’s choice on last pitcher

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
        (link)

        @Grey: not fister with last pitcher due to age.

  12. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    ah the roman God of walks, nice looking triple slash line. i traded him for gallo (not joey CALLO) in dynasty months back to the BOS owner. We were both very happy

  13. The JoGarza says:
    (link)

    Grey,

    Need three SP here, looking for good ratios with Ks being a bonus.

    Hutchison vs. BAL 12.6
    Montero vs. HOU 15.8
    Tropeano @ NYM 7.2
    Colon vs. TEX 15.7
    Gray @ TEX 5.4
    Happ vs. BAL 16.2

  14. Swfcdan says:
    (link)

    Justin Verlander – Prepare yourself for a 45 IP scoreless postseason streak by Verlander with incessant Joe Buck mentions of how ‘Verlander looks as good as he’s ever seen him’ and your buddy watching the game with you saying each time, “He must not have seen the selfies with Kate Upton.’

    Haha wouldnt suprise me, we should come up with a glossary term for it! Playoff boner: a guy who can only get it up in the postseason.

    • Randy BoBandy says:
      (link)

      @Swfcdan: Brilliant!

    • Goose says:
      (link)

      @Swfcdan:

      How about Octoboner? Octoberection?

      • The JoGarza says:
        (link)

        @Goose:

        Have a vote for Octoberection

      • Swfcdan says:
        (link)

        @Goose: Like it. As the guy coming up with the idea, I think my say should be final. This one for me! Octoberection that is.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Swfcdan: Ha, yeah, could use one

    • Spammer Jay says:
      (link)

      @Swfcdan: nice! Like so many had an Octoberection for David Freese couple seasons ago.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        Yup!

      • Swfcdan says:
        (link)

        @Spammer Jay: Haha totally, he was rock hard every game of that postseason.

  15. Mr. Rickey says:
    (link)

    I have Petit and Cashner – would you start both today? Running out of innings and time in a 5X5 12 team roto where I’m trying to pick up a few points to win it. Pitching categories are really the only place I can gain ground.

    • Phil of the Future says:
      (link)

      @Mr. Rickey: Start both

  16. Phil of the Future says:
    (link)

    Diaries from a Chinese Prison: Day 3

    I’m starting to get the hang of things around here, though the work is hard and the food scarce. Everyone still calls me “gaijin”, which I think means whitey, or outsider. I’m not sure, really. The guards laughed at me yesterday for starting Odorizzi in Fenway, and honestly I don’t blame them. I suppose I deserve the ridicule. Still, though, it hurts. Anyway, the people here mostly keep to themselves and if you do your work and keep your head down the inmates I’ve met tell me time will pass easy. I hope they’re right. I can’t take much more of this.

    A few points of reference. My team’s OBP this week is currently .239, and my ERA and WHIP is 6.15 and 1.82 respectively. Is that good?

      • Phil of the Future says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Thanks! Yeah I’m pretty pleased with the numbers so far. Should be enough to beat most other inmates.

        All kidding aside, lesson learned for next year regarding pitching. I had the by far the best staff in my league all year(best ERA, most Ws, most QS, 2nd best WHIP, etc, most Ks). I saw my pitching starting to hit a wall towards the end and knew I’d have some bad matchups this week but I stuck with the guys that got me here. Granted, there were only very sketchy streamers left for this week(i.e., Bonilla, Kendrick, Weiland), but still I will be more aggressive in the playoffs next year with this. (And I will be in the playoffs.)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, live and learn… Unfortunately, you’re doing both in a Chinese prison

          • Phil of the Future says:
            (link)

            @Grey: HA!! Excellent. don’t worry they’ll be another journal entry tomorrow!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              There better be!

      • Phil of the Future says:
        (link)

        @Swfcdan: Thanks, man!

  17. Clint says:
    (link)

    Unique question here and not sure if I can use Stream-o-nator to answer this one or not for my 12 team, 5 keeper, roto league.

    I’m out of games played at 1B and OF but I have a few to give at the other positions this last week. I’ve been bumped from 1st to 2nd place but if I can snatch the steals and avg lead I could potentially take it back by season’s end. How can I maximize the remaining spots (C, 2B, 3B, SS, and 2 Utils) to get those leads? Should I just pick the best hitters for the rest of this week off Stream-o-nator or do you have 6 suggestions to go w/for the season’s remainder? Here’s what my bats currently look like (used SON for some of the odd names):

    C (10 games left): Navarro, Norris, Arencibia, Daniel Butler
    1B (maxed out): Rizzo
    2B (3 games left): Kendrick, Baez, R. Weeks
    3B (1 left): Frazier, Castellanos
    SS (6 left): Desmond, Peralta
    OF (maxed out): Harper, A. Jones, K. Davis, Joc Pederson
    Util (3 left): Crisp, Rajai
    DL: CarGo, Machado

    Thanks again, guys. If you pull me out of this one, I could get a pair of championships this year to go w/last season’s first, all thanks to Razzball.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Clint: No problem… I’d make sure I had a catcher every day, who’s ever playing…. Kendrick, Frazier, Desmond, Rajai

  18. Wilsonian says:
    (link)

    Better stream for tomorrow:

    Garza v. Cubs
    Cosart @ WAS
    Worley @ CIN
    Vogelsong v. SD

    8 Team H2H – W, QS, SV, KS, KS/9, ERA, WHIP

    I’m currently winning most of the pitching categories. He has at least 8 starters for the rest of the week, I have at least 6. This doesn’t count streams for either of us.

    We’re tied in W, I’m up one QS, I’m up 2 Saves, I’m up 6 Ks, I’m up 3.40 on ERA, I’m up 0.40 on WHIP, and I’m down 0.03 on Ks/9.

    I have Scherzer, Shields, and Petit tonight, Liriano Saturday, Carrasco and Wood on Sunday.

  19. Grey, thanks for not only your help but also the comic relief you’ve provided this season. Many thanks to you and the the rest of the staff at Razzball. You’ve made fantasy baseball even more enjoyable than it already was, as if that were possible(apologies to Ed Gremley).

  20. Randy BoBandy says:
    (link)

    Somehow cruising with an 0.80 ERA and 0.75 WHIP through 30 IP.

    To start or not to start rest of the way (opponent’s stats too close for comfort)

    Petit vs SD
    Fister vs Mia
    Vogelsong vs SD
    Wacha @Ari
    Peavy vs SD
    Cobb @Cle
    Alvarez @Was

    I’ll probably roll the first 5 and see where I stand Sunday. FA options suck (screw off Jerome Williams!)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Randy BoBandy: Do you need to start anyone? First 5 are fine, but I’d start benching guys unless you need Wins and Ks

      • Randy BoBandy says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Wins are tied and not winning K’s. Need a gamble because my offence has disappeared. Time will tell!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Good luck!

  21. Corey says:
    (link)

    Mike, thanks for the link to B-R yesterday, it’s exactly what I was looking for.

    • Mike

      Mike says:
      (link)

      no problem! that situational hitting page was pretty cool

  22. Hawk says:
    (link)

    Grey, that Hughes writeup (strikes out more than AMH, walks less than John Candy) was friggin genius.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Hawk: Thanks, Rudy helped with it…

  23. royce! says:
    (link)

    I actually didn’t know about Pence’s tattoo – really goes to show how informative this this website can be! I’m going to use that fact as one of the interesting anecdotes that I share when I attend games with people with little baseball knowledge.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @royce!: I just read it off of his Wikipedia page… Was referenced to on Carson Fangraphs’ Wikipedia page that is actually longer than Pence’s…

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yet somehow that information is no longer on either page…I think they’re conspiring to hide the truth! The truth of the gangly manbird!

        • J-FOH

          J-FOH says:
          (link)

          @royce!: watching him in the on deck circle Monday night gave me seizures

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          That’s a shame, my grandfather donated to Wikipedia too… What a sham!

  24. Janssen with the Stars says:
    (link)

    12 team 5X5 roto coming down to the wire. I have 24 innings left. Figure that’s probably 3 starts + my relievers. Which one’s would you roll with? ERA is most important.

    Wheeler @ Was ($1.5)
    Paxton v LAA ($4)
    Zimm v Mia (24.5)
    Wood @ Phi (16.9)
    ___________________

    Niese @ Hou ($11.6)
    Vogelson v. SD ($12.3)
    Porcello v. Min ($10.6)

    I’m thinking Zimm, Wood, and either Vogelson or Porcello. However, also worried about Zimm since they pushed his start back due to a bruise. Any chance they scratch him on the last day leaving me high and dry? Thanks for all the effort and help this year guys.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Janssen with the Stars: Sorry, just realizing Zimm is last day? He’s nto starting then… Go Niese

      • Janssen with the Stars says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Yes and Wood is also last day. Will he start?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Wood prolly will, but no one is a guarantee the last day

  25. The Big Yabu says:
    (link)

    QUESTION FOR EVERYONE:
    once I reach my limit of starts, is it wrong for me to pick up SPs just so my opponents can’t?

    • Swfcdan says:
      (link)

      @The Big Yabu: Do it big yabu, love being mean like that.

    • Spammer Jay says:
      (link)

      @The Big Yabu: i think it’s fine, but it’s not cool to just add drop them in the same day just to put them on waiver status.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        You should talk to Rudy, that’s what he’s doing to me

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Spammer Jay: sites sometimes make you actually keep a player for one game to make him hit a waiver time, but not in football. this is way too exploitable, and the rule should be if player is added then dropped before any games were played nobody has to wait to get that player. like this week in football i needed a TE (with injuries to rudolph/pitta) and could easily have grabbed and dropped every somewhat useful TE and dropped them, possibly screwing over the other teams who’s useful TE’s might be on byes.

      • @Spammer Jay: ESPN default is you have to keep a player for 24 hours until you can dump him and he goes on waivers. Perfectly legit strategy to penalize opponents who wait until the last couple days of the season to grab streaming candidates. Only used one roster spot to do this but kept Grey from getting Garza today and blocked anyone from getting Hughes’ last start.

  26. **** STREAMONATOR JUST GOT RE-RUN AFTER SOMEONE NOTICED A BUG THAT WAS INFLATING JA HAPP’S K PROJECTION. PLEASE CHECK STREAMONATOR IF YOU WERE RELYING ON IT FOR START/SIT DECISIONS FOR THURS-SUN GAMES****

    • JeF With 1 F says:
      (link)

      @Rudy Gamble: You mean hes not going to strike out 20 today???? Damn it!! just wasted my last roster move!!

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
        (link)

        @JeF With 1 F: did it actually say 20 for Happ? hehe. if it was that high i’m sure nobody believed it.

  27. Jayrod Ceol says:
    (link)

    Looking for some hot bats to finish strong.. I like what a few Rangers due to their recent ‘hotness’ like Jake Smolinski and Ryan Rua, as well as Rougned Odor.. I also noticed Josh Reddick has learned to swing a bat like a bat and Brandon Crawford has got his locks a-flowin.. Any suggestions on where you’d go from here?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup, they’re all hot, I’d go for any of them… Smolinski, Rua

    • Jayrod Ceol says:
      (link)

      @Jayrod Ceol: R, H, HR, RBI, SB, K, AVG (H2H)

      Feel pretty comfortable with SBs and Runs are really close. He got a 9 hit gap from yesterday. I need RUNS and HITS for the most part without really acquiring Ks. Power is nice obviously.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        Smolinski then

  28. Jason says:
    (link)

    SON is in love with the slurp SLURP!

    he goes against LAA again, but since the angels clinched, you think it’s ok to get down with the slurp action this go around or still avoid like the plague as there are other options.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I wouldn’t go near him

      • Jason says:
        (link)

        @Grey: good, that’s what my gut said…
        we may have to change it from slurp to suck….

        and a little late except for those who can still add…but Colby rasmus, short schedule…vs a righty

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Damn, too late for Colby

          • Jason says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Dont worry, they got him ridin pine….Obviously Gibbons is not a reader….

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Damn

  29. Sky

    Sky says:
    (link)

    How TF does Yovani let that lineup get the bases loaded in the first? Implosion coming…what a douche.

    • Jason says:
      (link)

      two words…Day Drinking

      • Sky

        Sky says:
        (link)

        I’m about ready to join him. My God, I hate Yovani…

        • JeF With 1 F says:
          (link)

          @Sky: Im throwing him in a little early DK action.

        • JeF With 1 F says:
          (link)

          @Sky: IM HOOKED DAMN IT…ITS LIKE CRACK

          • Sky

            Sky says:
            (link)

            @JeF With 1 F: Haha, I just couldnt do the early slate. Was fine with my pitching choices but the hittin was so bad…couldn’t find a reason. Will be playing plenty this afternoon, though.

            • JeF With 1 F says:
              (link)

              @Sky: In the stupid question column how do you add your avatar on DK…dont see anywhere to do it.

              • Sky

                Sky says:
                (link)

                Actually only found it on the phone app which sounds ridiculous but true.

                • JeF With 1 F says:
                  (link)

                  @Sky: ah ill look i have the phone app

                • JeF With 1 F says:
                  (link)

                  @Sky: Dont see it on there either

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
                    (link)

                    Hrm, I’m at a loss then. Pretty sure it was where I did it from

                    • JeF With 1 F says:
                      (link)

                      @Sky: guess im just going faceless

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
                      (link)

                      JAGNOF

                    • JeF With 1 F says:
                      (link)

                      @Sky: Wait is that JeF aint got no face or JeF aint got no F

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
                      (link)

                      Ha! A little from column A…

                  • JeF With 1 F says:
                    (link)

                    @JeF With 1 F: Ha Ha If it would let me change my name on there that would be perfect

            • JeF With 1 F says:
              (link)

              @Sky: did an early GPP most of my lineup is from the Toronto Game

              • Sky

                Sky says:
                (link)

                Good call. One of my stacks for the day.

        • Mr. Tibbs says:
          (link)

          @Sky: He’s a horrible human being. Definitely on my list with Chris Tillman.

          • Sky

            Sky says:
            (link)

            Never owned Tillman. Can only imagine if YoGa is his comparison point.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              And he’s the O’s first starter for the playoffs… Oy

              • Sky

                Sky says:
                (link)

                Yeah, that’s why Buck impresses me. He’s done a lot with very little on that side. Thought it is a strong bullpen. There’s no way they win anything with that set up, though.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Yeah, they need to get to the 6th inning and they could be okay… But getting there, it’s not pretty compared to other playoff teams

            • Mr. Tibbs says:
              (link)

              @Sky: Never owned Tillman per se, but I’ve streamed him a few times over the years. I swore him off after a debacle against the Stros earlier this year.

              • Sky

                Sky says:
                (link)

                Yeah, watching YoGa nibble at the plate with Tucker Barnhart batting. Makes me wanna hurl.

                • Mr. Tibbs says:
                  (link)

                  @Sky: Well you can’t just go straight at Tucker Barnhart and throw him strikes. That’s kooky talk.

                  • Mr. Tibbs says:
                    (link)

                    @Mr. Tibbs: It should all be over soon, as he’s thrown 76 pitches through 4 without any major damage, but beware, Bryan Pena looms.

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
                    (link)

                    Every guy: 2-0 before getting to 2-2. Doesn’t matter who. He’s just gotta turn every AB into a 7-10 pitch one.

                    • Mr. Tibbs says:
                      (link)

                      @Sky: The crappy defense ain’t helping much either.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
                      (link)

                      Yeah, Rickie Weeks should just not play baseball anymore.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Ha!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
                      (link)

                      Because it wasn’t clear YoGa sucked in the first 5 innings, leave him out there near 100 pitches to give up a 2 run shot. Good form, Roenicke. Thanks for reminding everyone why the Brewers didn’t hold on this year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Phillips is leading off… Ha

      • Sky

        Sky says:
        (link)

        I picked YoGa up hoping for a reasonable QS stream. Gonna be lucky to reach 5 innings pitching like that. At least he’s reminded me why I haven’t had him on my roster since early 2012

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Only thing YoGa stretches is patience

          • Sky

            Sky says:
            (link)

            And my WHIP…and my K:BB ratio…and my hair…wait, you can’t stretch hair; can only pull it out. Welp, I’m bald now.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Damn, and after that spiffy haircut! (I watched your video; that sounds creepy, it is.)

              • Sky

                Sky says:
                (link)

                Only creepy if you paused it on my image and gently stroked the screen (which you did).

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  …and then again had Cougs hold your jpeg still on my iPad while we were in bed…

  30. SMLV1 says:
    (link)

    Who we streaming tomorrow?

    Niese vs HOU
    Hutchison vs BAL
    Wacha @ARI
    Santana @PHI
    Vogelsong vs SD

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Vogelsong

  31. Eric says:
    (link)

    Hi Grey,

    I’m behind in wins and really behind in QS and Ks. I have one more move to make this week – looking for a streamer. For tomorrow, available starters I’m considering:

    Vogelsong vs SD (Ian Kennedy)
    Guthrie @ CWS (Noesi)
    Cosart @ WAS (Fister)

    SON thinks Vogelsong is the best option, but Giants haven’t been scoring runs lately and Vogelsong is lucky to last 6 innings. I was leaning toward Guthrie, but not gonna help out much in Ks. I also have the option of waiting to pick up a streamer for Saturday or Sunday. Your opinion, please!!

    As always, thanks for the help. I’ve been following Razzball for three years now and couldn’t imagine doing fantasy baseball without it.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Vogelsong at home vs. the Padres is an easy call… No problem…

  32. Swfcdan says:
    (link)

    1IP remaining, close as shizz to the team above me. Final day (sunday), should I trust Tropeano and Martinez enough to start them? Will be starting 4 other guys too, doing the blow the innings strategy on the final day.

    Need Ws/QS but also tied on ERA with a team….seriously close shizz.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I wouldn’t trust those two

  33. J-FOH

    J-FOH says:
    (link)

    You should post that trailer in here and get all our twitter peeps to blast it out. Now is the time to abuse your power Grey…now is the time. Great trailer by the way, one question, is it a drama or a comedy?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Drama doc, Canseco doesn’t really have any sense of humor

      • J-FOH

        J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: just making sure it wasn’t making fun of him, I see. Yes, then it looks good. Although it would of been good either way. I had to assume being a compadre of your it was going to be a comedy. i just made an ass out of me.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha… He’s my attorney’s brother, I said friend on Twitter because ‘attorney’s brother’ sounds really douchey

          • J-FOH

            J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: like my cousins best friend? or this guy Sky I have to work with?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Kinda like Sky

              • J-FOH

                J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: I’d ask why you have an attorney but after hanging out with you “I get it”

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Ha!

      • Mr. Tibbs says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Drama doc, wasn’t that one of the Duvaliers?

        • Wake Up says:
          (link)

          @Mr. Tibbs: Yeah he was the one responsible for all the deforestation…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I think it was a BBC show with Helen Mirren

  34. brett says:
    (link)

    Grey

    You starting Hammel tonight at Texas?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I would

  35. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Someone just told me that I’m really blowing up on the old three double U’s today…Tweeze on tweezers…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Maybe they said something else and you need to tweeze the ear hairs?

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: #WakeUp

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          #always

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            Well, yeah, dur…Of course!

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: @Sky: I’m sure you two already knew aboot this…You can’t prove that this isn’t true!

  36. L-Boogie says:
    (link)

    Gee, who woulda thunk it?

    HISASHI IWAKUMA | SP
    Manager: Hisashi Iwakuma plagued by back, groin issues
    Lloyd McClendon has revealed that Mariners right-hander Hisashi Iwakuma is dealing with slight back and groin ailments, which could explain his recent control problems, per mynorthwest.com.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, surprise surprise

  37. L-Boogie says:
    (link)

    From CBS. Not sure if the bloggy-thingy rules command that I reference the source. Although it is CBS so when they say “slight ailments” it could really mean he’s dead.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha

  38. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Been bending over in front of the mirror for the last 10 minutes, staring at my butthole…

    #whoblinksfirst

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      You’re Goatse’ing yourself…no one wins here

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Sky: How do you know all these words? (I sent you a picture of a pretty bunny. Open it at work. In front of your boss. ses wife.)

        • Sky

          Sky says:
          (link)

          I sent you the google search for blue waffle in return.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            Hello

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                HA… The accidental dolphin needs to be worked into everyday conversation at least once a day like you’re Chris Sale with a big word

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
                  (link)

                  I fully expect to see it in tomorrow’s writeup!

            • Sky

              Sky says:
              (link)

              @Grey: Are you feeling left out? Fine, I’ll send the google search to you too

        • Sky

          Sky says:
          (link)

          Oh and I have a copy of the urban dictionary on my night stand. I make sure and read at least a page a night! Unfortunately, I’ve come to find out that 90% of our slang is about anal sex.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            Yeah, so?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sounds like the makings of a great Vine

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Honey, honey I heard it through the great Vine…(and I’m just about to lose my mind)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          That’s not what you’re gonna lose bent over in front of a mirror

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Don’t worry I’m at the gym!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Oh, calisthenics! Should’ve said that!

              • Wake Up says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Close! Yoga! Just found out about the whole third eye thing!

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Ah… Downward facing dong…

  39. Whirlaway says:
    (link)

    Would you start Koehler today vPHI?

    I’m up 11-3 and have starts from Kluber, Fiers and Cobb this weekend. It’s a 12 team h2h league with QS and K/9 – two of the categories I’m losing in.

    Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d start him

      • Whirlaway says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Wundebar

        • Whirlaway says:
          (link)

          @Whirlaway: Wunderbar*

  40. J-FOH

    J-FOH says:
    (link)

    why does it feel weird when i say a Brandon Phillips batty call?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, the twilight has come

    • Wake Up says:
      (link)

      @J-FOH: he’s back to “That Dude”

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Wake Up: when he plays for someone else he becomes “you know, that guy that used to play second base for the reds”

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Hey, JFOH, you try Pear-Almond?

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: I haven’t yet, waiting to finish off a tank before I clean it, re wick it and try.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Ah, gotcha

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: I need to give it its proper due and I’m also letting it steep a little bit too

  41. Jason says:
    (link)

    So aggravating….Gallardo

    what the hell was I thinking. is there a term for when you pick up a guy you know you shouldn’t any they give you exactly what you should have expected…besides the term stupidity, obviously

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha… Not yet, but I’m all ears

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      I see someone else got Lucy Van Pelted as well.

    • de nachos says:
      (link)

      @Jason: YoGa is the worst. “Mr. Frog, can you give Mr. Scorpion a lift please?”

  42. SteveUK says:
    (link)

    I’m way late on this (as I am with many things of this nature) but managed to burn through the entire first series of Silicon Valley on the flight from LA to London. So awesome. Tears-in-my-eyes funny.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Optimal Tip-To-Tip Efficiency was brilliant… The mural killed me, as well…

      • SteveUK says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Don’t remember the ep but I was crying when Erlich tried to tear off his sweater in a rage and got tangled up and in the finale when they were working out the algorithm for jacking off every guy in the auditorium…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, Tip-to-Tip is the algorithm… Pure brilliance… Whole show was really genius… Love Erlich…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: It never gets not funny

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I wanna hang out with Erhlich

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: he does stand up all the time

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  That’s the kind of people that would come on our podcast and should be found…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I’m on it

  43. Steve Stevenson says:
    (link)

    6×6 (OPS & QS), looks like Ortiz might be done for the year. I have no bench bat and 2 moves left. Up 9-3 overall but opponent has enough starts to pass me in K and QS pretty easily. I’m up 4HR and 18RBI, down .065 avg, but all other cats are close. Do i use a move on a CI now, or hope my bats hang in there and hold the moves in case i need streamers or sagnof?

    Available CI: Rua (4vOak), McCann (1vBal, [email protected]), Hosmer ([email protected]), Headley (1vBal, [email protected]), Flores (3vHou), Uribe (3vCol), Bonifacio (1vPit, [email protected])

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d go with Rua

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      HA! So effin’ funny…

      • J-FOH

        J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I ran it for like 20 minutes straight to remember how to live life.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          The mural he has commissioned is pure genius… I love Mike Judge…

          • J-FOH

            J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: that needs to be made into a T-Shirt

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I just want an Ehrlich shirt

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Nice

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Wasn’t I the only who told you to watch this show?

                  • J-FOH

                    J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: you and the commercials

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Me!

                • J-FOH

                  J-FOH says:
                  (link)

                  @J-FOH: i do talk to you almost everyday and since there is no one else around to fill your ego I will say IT WAS YOU WHO TOLD ME EVERYDAY TO WATCH SILICON VALLEY AND BOY WERE YOU RIGHT ABOUT THAT. WHAT A HOME RUN BOSS!

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
                    (link)

                    Haha… You’re welcome!

  44. royce! says:
    (link)

    I could really use an excellent start from Cashner tonight – tied in WHIP at .75 and down in ERA by .41 – so I was really hoping the Giants would play the JV team now that they’re guaranteed a WC spot. You’ll pay for this, Giant Head Man and your sidekick, Gangly Birdman!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha! Cashner’s Away numbers aren’t terrible… Compared to his home numbers they are… Wow, what insane splits…

      EDIT: Aren’t

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Having watched his recent starts, I noticed Cashner has been playing with a lot of passion…I’m calling that he’ll pitchslap Petit…or at least reach on a fielder’s choice out, gotta keep my expectations in check.

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I’m definitely not the sort of person to cite someone’s “passion” as reason to think they will do well, but dude’s been on a roll, and you can tell watching the game that he’s really invested…he has an .878 OPS in September!

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Another note: while I am confident that Cashner should do better at home generally, he only started 7 games away this season. In only 2 of those 7 did he give up more than 2 ER – @ MIL and @ NYM. So, as you may have heard, small sample size…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha, yeah, that’s a more than reasonable reason for the extreme splits

    • J-FOH

      J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @royce!: royce!

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @J-FOH: J-FOH!

        • J-FOH

          J-FOH says:
          (link)

          @royce!: oh, were, friends now, you can call me Jack!

          • royce! says:
            (link)

            @J-FOH: Jack!

  45. Shoop Da Whoop says:
    (link)

    Scherzer’s arm is going to fall off. I honestly can’t remember the last time he’s thrown under 110 pitches in a start. If anyone is going to fall off a cliff like Verlander, it’ll be the other guy who has been abused by Detroit.

    Hughes had stretches of greatness this season, but his contact rate was one of the worst in baseball. He shared space with Jeremy Guthrie, Dan Haren, Mike Leake, Henderson Alvarez, and Jarred Cosart, Jon Niese, and Shelby Miller. It’s probably best to still treat him like a 5th starter or streamer next year, since his strikeouts are a result of him throwing almost everything in the strike zone, rather than making anyone miss (also had one of the worst contact rates outside of the strikezone in baseball).

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      His strikeouts are due to him throwing everything in the strike zone rather making anyone miss? If the ball’s in the strike zone and people are striking out, aren’t they missing?

      • Shoop Da Whoop says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yeah, batters make contact when they swing over 84% of the time against Hughes. His contemporaries: http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=pit&lg=all&qual=y&type=5&season=2014&month=0&season1=2014&ind=0&team=0&rost=0&age=0&filter=&players=0&sort=8,d

        His strikeouts are due to him getting in lots of 2 strike counts against hitters. It’s more likely hitters will start to swing earlier in the count, knowing that is Hughes’ entire strategy (leads MLB in zone percentage at 56.2%. Eovaldi is second at 51.6%), before Hughes develops a pitch that makes hitters miss.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Interesting… Will have to look more at that over the offseason… I doubt he’s drafted very high so a flyer might be in order either way…

          • Shoop Da Whoop says:
            (link)

            @Grey: If he’s sitting at 180+, sure, why not. Worst case you can use him as your last starter, for his home starts or when he pitches in KC or something. Or cut him if he turns back into a pumpkin.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yup, prolly will be around there too… If not later…

              • Shoop Da Whoop says:
                (link)

                @Grey: That’s where Liriano was going this season. Too bad I dropped him in June, after he put up 50 or so innings of like a 5 ERA, 1.6 WHIP crapfest.

                Fun story. A team in my roto league has jumped up 14 points this month, thanks in no small part to two guys who went ballistic after I dropped them: Liriano and Chris Carter.

                Thankfully, it looks as though I’ll win (thank you, Sale and Kluber!). But 14 points in the final month of a roto league is insane.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Wow, yeah, lucky to hold on there…

        • Crapshoot Kershaw says:
          (link)

          @Shoop Da Whoop: in general hitters are stupid to not swing early in counts, since ALL PITCHERS EVER try to throw strikes to get ahead. It appears since Hughes never throws balls everybody should be swinging all the time. when announcers even mention things like “he swung on first pitch” it’s clear it’s showing some sort of inertia ingrained ignorance. Swing at strikes, it’s not that hard, except for certain specific instances, like a 3-0 count and pitcher is either wild or is a heavy groundball guy.

          • Shoop Da Whoop says:
            (link)

            @Crapshoot Kershaw: Totally agree. The most infuriating example of a hitter watching first pitch strikes go right over the middle of the plate is Mike Trout. Dude drops his hands and starts to back out of the box before the pitcher has even delivered the ball. It’s no wonder he’s striking out so often after giving up strike one all the time.

            Pitchers throwing first pitch strikes keeps going up, and hitters swinging at first pitches hasn’t adjusted for that trend. Walks are fantastic, but you can’t get a walk when you’re taking strikes.

  46. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    yuck, i could’ve reaquired rajai davis for steals too. but he hadn’t got many for weeks, and even today has 0 net steals.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Damn

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: his value difference in net steals vs standard leagues is quite a bit different, which i only noticed late in season, he gets caught a lot.

    • McGrupp says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: Gonna miss these updates.

  47. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    with avisail being 1-13 this week and now hurt, i guess i’m better off dropping him for extra OF spot to cover steals/off days than de aza at this point?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sure

  48. royce! says:
    (link)

    C’mon Pearce, do me a solid and strike out…

  49. royce! says:
    (link)

    AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFFFFFFFFudge.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Wow, you nailed that one in opposite world… You are related to Steve!

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey: royce!ametrics!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha!

  50. royce! says:
    (link)

    ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. IT’S STILL EARLY.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Still early! What’s the matchup score at?

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey: 5-7, I’m losing, but AVG, OBP and WHIP, all of which I am losing, are close…was winning OBP and AVG until today. So it’s actually true that anything can happen. I just wanted to make everyone’s life more exciting

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Damn, isn’t the league you never win too? Ouch

          • royce! says:
            (link)

            @Grey: It is. I need to quit this league, whether or not I win this year. H2H is a joke.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Nah, you’ll win it this year and go out on a high note… Like a baller!

              • Royce! says:
                (link)

                @Grey: without Cashner’s help, apparently.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Damn splits!

  51. Adam Jonesin Jr says:
    (link)

    jesus K-Rob, good thing i’m only playing for 3rd place in the two leagues i’d be relying on you. but it is good for the father of my psychic state.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha

    • Adam Jonesin Jr says:
      (link)

      @Adam Jonesin Jr: had that wrong, there is one league where i’m in finals and have K-Rob. damn.

      • Adam Jonesin Jr says:
        (link)

        @Adam Jonesin Jr: K-Rob just set his worst ever homers allowed in year with 7. had been tied with his previous high of 5.

  52. Sange76 says:
    (link)

    12 team h2h points keeper

    What’s up brother! Solid team this year with your help, but bats went cold, guys got hurt and got knocked out last week in the semis.
    Still, solid keepers in Brantley rd 12 and C. Hamels rd 7 next season.

    Now, never too early for a 2015 question I hope. Most likely looking at the 7th or 8th pick. If trout, Cabrera, goldy, mccutchen, kershaw, Stanton all go ahead of me, who’s my guy? Bautista? Adam jones? King Felix? Dare I say Tulo? Someone I’m missing?

    *abreu and encarnacion are other teams keepers that would prob go in rd 1

    Thanks for the help this season and in the future. And I guess right now too. Ha!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Tulo? You crazy? Jones, I guess… No idea who’s available due to keepers…

      • Sange76 says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Haha. I kid. I kid.
        Just those two are really only the only “1st rd pick” keepers. Is say it’s between jones and maybe Ellsbury. Jones with the edge since he doesn’t have tissue paper for legs?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Nah, not Ellsbury

          • Sange76 says:
            (link)

            @Grey:
            Survey says, pray for a better draft spot by at least one notch and take one of those first 6. Ha!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Ha, yup!

  53. royce! says:
    (link)

    Hey Jeter! How about proving your worth FINALLY by netting Robertson a win? You’d be in my hall of fame, buddy!

  54. royce! says:
    (link)

    IT WORKED. WHY HAVEN’T I TRIED THAT BEFORE? I AM A GOD.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, wow… Nicely done…

  55. nick the dick says:
    (link)

    Derek Sanderson Fucking Jeter

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sanderson! Haha

      • nick the dick says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Haha, yeah but everything else but his middle name is great

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Crazy how beautiful mulatto kids are with the ugliest parents… Jeter should be ugly with those parents

          • nick the dick says:
            (link)

            @Grey: very true, every mixed kid. Dr. Jeter sure isnt easy on the eyes. One of lifes great phenomenons

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yeah, it’s crazy… It’s like a higher power is saying mix shizz up!

              • nick the dick says:
                (link)

                @Grey: To all the racially sensitive readers, Grey doesn’t realize ‘mulatto’ is no longer socially acceptable. He’s old. Accept our apoplogies.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Ha! Um, yeah… My bad!

                  • nick the dick says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Nobody knows the right terms to say. When my uncle says a black guy and whispers ‘black’ when he says it, sounds pretty damn racist to me. Also, I think Jeter’s sister is the exception to the pretty mulatto rule

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Oh, really? *Googling Jeter’s sister* Um, yeah, yikes… She looks the mom… Ouch…

      • nick the dick says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Hell, even that middle name is great

      • nick the dick says:
        (link)

        @Grey: writing out his full name for tomorrow’s roundup, that’s the baller move.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Like a baller!

  56. matt says:
    (link)

    Need some rbi and hr but could also go for runs and sb. Pick up ender inciarte or Logan Morrison for the weekend?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ender

  57. J-FOH

    J-FOH says:
    (link)

    best streaming duo tonight with Grandal and Venable. Sorry SteveUK. I’m coming for you!!!!

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @J-FOH: wow, you had BOTH of them. pretty sick.

    • Kid A says:
      (link)

      @J-FOH:

      Nah, my Weeks/Grandal combo in Jay’s league was better. And I’m in first – not nursing false dreams of 2nd place.

      But you’re still the best validation fisherman I ever did meet. You’ll always have that.

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Kid A: he probably meant best in the league in question, not in all leagues everywhere ever. he would appear to be 2nd in that validation thing as well, since you showed up to make sure he wasn’t first. Topper from Dilbert. “oh really, that’s nothing…”

        • Kid A says:
          (link)

          @goodfold2: Your assignment for tomorrow is a 10,000 word single-spaced paragraph on the meaning of conciseness.

  58. Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
    (link)

    for next year, drop gallardo/hammel/peavy to keep streaming? just one of them is a drop.

Comments are closed.