Luis Gil won’t throw for six weeks with a lat strain, so went into the not-too-distant-past in my Wayback Machine to see who else had lat strains and how long those pitchers were out. Found one pitcher with Alfred E. Neuman on it that had a caption, “What, me thirsty?” at a garage sale my mom was having in 1997 and I had the worst acne and realized the Wayback Machine was totally broke. Can someone get me back from the 90’s? There’s so much hairspray here I can’t breathe. So, Eduardo Rodriguez had a lat strain in March of 2024, and missed basically the whole season, but he seems uninterested in pitching, and I think other things are going on in his life. Jared Jones had a lat strain last year; he missed about six weeks, but I think the Pirates might’ve also made-up that injury to control his innings. Luis Severino missed six weeks in 2023 with one, and Clarke Schmidt had one in 2024 and missed three months. Did I mention Clarke Schmidt? Yeah, he gets a boost, but I have no faith in him outside of a last starter on a 12-teamer (like the RCL, spots available to take on me and all of your worst frenemies, and win prizes; it’s free — sign up for a Razzball Commenter League under that linkie-ma-whosie.) What will be lost in this Gil injury is I told everyone to not draft Luis Gil prior to this injury, but victory lapping injuries is frowned on by everyone. Can’t even point out I had him in a tier previously saying he was going to get injured, and called the tier, “Broke and getting brokener or unbrokener but not on my teams.” I can’t point out any of that. Top 100 starters for Luis Gil was updated, and the top 500. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2025 fantasy baseball:
Giancarlo Stanton – Sounds unlikely to be ready for Opening Day. When someone is saying they’re not ready for Opening Day in February, they’re not gonna be ready by June. I could show you the math, but it’s a secret formula. He was updated in the top 500.
Spencer Steer – Having shoulder issues that seem destined to sideline during the 2025 season, if not to start it. That’s as bad as news gets for a hitter. Dropped him way down in the 1st basemen rankings.
Shohei Ohtani – Dave Roberts has put the fear of God into me, but, if God is Ohtani, then why am I getting cold feet about him? These questions and more, coming to you from my brain! So, I moved Ohtani, just the pitcher, down in my rankings to the top 60 starters, and changed his projections. The less progress he’s made and the vague proclamations by Dave Roberts about when Ohtani will get back to the mound has me fading him in “Shohei Ohtani is a Pitcher Only” leagues, and only those leagues, because you can’t IL him while you wait, so it’s a dead spot on your roster for a month or maybe more.
Sean Manaea – Out with a strained oblique. Might not throw for a month, then he has to ramp up and, before you know it, it’s 2047 and we’re all living on Mars growing potatoes. Or he’s back around May 1st. His projections have been updated in the top 80 starters. And the pitchers’ pairing tool has been updated.
Alexander Canario – Traded to the Mets. Cubs DFA’d the 24-year-old Canario, who has .857 OPS in 21 MLB games, to fit the 40-year-old Justin Turner onto their roster. Sadly, not sure Canario gets much play for the Mets either, unless Nimmo is less than 91% healthy. (That’s how healthy he said his plantar fasciitis was, explaining jokes makes them much funnier.)
Nick Madrigal – Fractured shoulder, and will miss the season. When he returns next year, that injury could zap his power, taking him from a popup-to-the-2nd-baseman slugger to a bloops-to-the-pitcher guy.
Kendall Graveman – Signed a deal with the DBacks to work middle relief. Graveman will also act as a reminder to live life to the fullest to the area’s retirees. “Just bridging the gap to Graveman…” Sigh, I know.
Andrew Benintendi – Out four-to-six weeks with a non-displaced fracture of his right hand. Could the White Sox lose 162 games this year? He was adjusted in the top 100 outfielders.
Joey Gallo – Signed with the White Sox. A .180 hitter will fix them. Good job, fellas.
Mike Clevinger – Signed with the White Sox. A 4.80 ERA pitcher. Yes, that’ll fix them.
Sean Murphy – Out four to six weeks with a cracked rib. This guy really has the worst luck. If only there was some way to say that for Murphy. Like a Law or something. Any hoo! Drake Baldwin was added into the catcher rankings and Murphy was updated.
Christian Moore – Speculation is that he could make the team. Yes, over Tim Anderson, please. You might remember (unlikely), but I heard last August that Moore was going to be called up, and wrote a Buy for him, then he was hurt. Angels are a terrible franchise, but they do promote guys quickly. Sometimes, too quickly. [cough] Jo Adell [cough]
Kutter Crawford – Won’t be ready to start the season, due to his knee. Red Sox said Giolito would be ready though. I think they said that as a positive, but it’s hard to tell. Adjusted Kutter in the top 80 starters.
Jakob Junis – Signed with the Guards. Guards now have Big Christmas and Junis aka the Big Start Of Summer.
Matt Shaw – Dealing with an oblique injury. He should be fine in three to twelve weeks. Haven’t changed his projections or ranking yet, but my projections can hear the footsteps, so to speak. Those footsteps sound like AM/PM’s Toomgis–Wait, that’s not Toomgis! The Cubs signed Justin Turner. Currently, pretending like the Cubs will make right choice and use Shaw as everyday 3rd baseman, but why sign Turner?
Rhett Lowder – Resumed throwing after having some elbow soreness. Was tempted to drop him in my rankings, and might still, but for now I’m at wait and see, only because he’s being drafted so late anyway. There’s the Lowdowner.
Hyeseong Kim – Dave Roberts said he could open the year in the minors. Sadly, the “he” there means Hyeseong not Dave. This is non-committal, but you have to read the writing on the wall and it says, “Not good.” He was adjusted in the 2nd basemen rankings.
Brendan Rodgers – Signed with the Astros. That’ll cover for the partial loss of Alex Bregman. It’ll cover Al Breg. Now they just need an -ex -man. Maybe they can sign Wolverine. Supposedly, the Astros want Altuve to try the outfield, which sounds bad for him and them, but it helps move Yordan to DH, so maybe that’s a push. I updated Rodgers in the 2nd basemen rankings.
Paul DeJong – Signed with the Nats. Colonel Mustard in the nation’s capitol with a Senate majority!
Kyle Finnegan – Re-signed with the Nats to be their closer and bring his special mix of sunshine and rain. Top 500 updated for him (and everyone).
Jose Quintana – Signed with the Brewers. There’s one team that makes cash-money out of no-cash-money pitchers and that’s the Brewers, so nice signing for him. It’s a good landing spot. Why the Mets didn’t bring him back after they lost the better part of their rotation? I don’t know but that will be discussed for years in Flushing barber shops, which is not barber shops where the chair is a toilet — though, pause, did I just invent something brilliant? Have Quintana projected for a 4+ ERA, but he does sub-3’s every year like a clock that only has threes on the dial, i.e., I’m likely underrating him. Top 100 starters were updated.
Matt Vierling – Will miss the start of the season with a rotator cuff strain. Vierling’s been gerund’d for three to five weeks is my guess. Top 100 outfielders and 3rd basemen rankings updated.
Parker Meadows – Could miss one game, could miss three months with a nerve issue in his arm. His timetable is alarming, coincidentally. Dropped him into my top 60 outfielders, and I honestly have no idea what to make of his injury. He felt tingling and numbness, and I feel a sense of dread.
Andrew Heaney – Signed with the Pirates. Bob Nutting removing glasses, “Goodbye, Warby Parker, it’s time for my alter ego, Super Spend-Very-Little Man!” He then flies into City Hall asking if he can get the taxpayers to pay for Heaney. I kid, of course! This is a solid move for Heaney and the Pirates. It doesn’t put him on 12-team mixed radars, but he’s a solid flyer for deep leagues where you need some innings and to feel something. Top 100 starters were updated.
Yuli Gurriel – Signed with the Padres. Not sure he’ll make the team or if they just signed him for spring split squad games so Yu Darvish can work on his pitches on the inside corner.
Wyatt Langford – Out with a minor oblique strain that the Rangers say won’t cause him to miss Opening Day and I am buying a monkey’s paw off Temu that is actually a chicken’s foot and sleeping with it because that is a superstition I just invented to fix obliques. I haven’t moved Langford yet in my rankings, but I can’t say I’m thrilled to hear this.
Ty France – Since our last France update, he changed his name to Ty Freedom and Baldelli said France would be the starting 1st baseman. That’s the worst insult to Miranda since Steve left her for a much younger woman. I can’t imagine drafting France in any league, so I’m going to continue to leave him out of my top 500, but Miranda’s now nothing but an upside gamble in the 1st basemen rankings.
