Mike Fiers threw the first Astros no-hitter by a single pitcher in over 20 years last night and the very first no-no in Minute Maid Park to make his way into the Houston record books, alongside Houston greats such as Beyonce, Dennis Quaid….uh, Rory Gilmore…did I say, Beyonce already? Anyway, even more impressive, the 30-year old Fiers did it against one of the leagues top offenses in the LA Dodgers. You probably wouldn’t have started Michael Fiers unless you owned @#$%ing Michael Fiers! Fiers walked just three batters and struck out 10 in what was also his first career complete game. It took Mike 134 pitches to get through this one, but his stuff seemed to get better as he got deeper into the game. It was his first win with his new team. After struggling in relief in his first appearance with Houston, Fiers settled nicely into a starting role that he will be unlikely to relinquish after last night’s dominating performance. He’s allowed just one earned run in three starts with Houston, with a 19/6 K/BB rate. Fiers struggles with control at times but when he’s on the strikeouts numbers are nice and he can be a very useful fantasy starter. He’s available in over half of leagues and gets the Yankees next week, I’d grab him if he’s out there, he could be a helpful guy to own as the Astros make their run for a pennant.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Blake Swihart – 4-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBI. After a two week hiatus, it’s good to be back at the razz! I might be a bit rusty, I spent the past two weeks on the Sea Org cruise line. It’s where Scientologists, like myself, gather for intense community “work” and mandatory auditing sessions where we reveal our deepest and darkest secrets that will in no way be used to blackmail us in the future. I also finally signed my billion year contract with the church, so I’ve officially made it, you guys. Another five grand and I’ll move up another level, which means I can start gaining special powers. Hmm. I may have already said too much…What does this have to do with Blake Swihart? Good question! I’ll let you know when I move up another wizard level.
Chris Coghlan – 1-for-3, HR (15). He’s batting .324 with 9 runs, 4 HR, 11 RBI and a SB in the past two weeks. Need another reason to pick him up? He just gained second base eligibility. Need more? He once ate a 72 oz. steak and after he was done he looked the waiter right in the eye and asked for a dessert menu. Dude is a baller like that.
Henry Owens – 8.0 IP, 5 base runners, ER, 4 K, 2nd win. Oh, Henry! After giving up 7 runs to Seattle last week this was certainly encouraging to see. He gets the White Sox next week and he’s a bit too risky for me to trust him just yet, but by all means you can do what you want to do. It’s your team not mine.
Jered Eickhoff – 6.0 IP, 6 base runners, 0 ER, 5 K, first win. One of the big pieces in the Cole Hamels trade, Eickhoff made his debut last night and blanked the Marlins. Before we get too excited, this was the Miami Marlins, Giancarlo Stanton is still injured, and my life is still left with a giant Giancarlo sized hole. Eickhoff had a 3.85 ERA, 1.19 WHIP and 126/39 K/BB rate in the minors and he gets the Mets next week. I’m not grabbing him just yet, but I’m watching him closer than Chris Hansen was watching Jared Fogle’s browser history.
Odubel Herrera – 2-for-5, 3 runs, RBI. Grey told you to BUY. Odubel has an eight game hitting streak with three straight multi-hit games. He’s also got 3 steals and 7 runs in the past week. He is basically the Phillies offense right now. And I mean that in a good way! Really I do!
Miguel Sano – 2-for-4, 2 runs. If you saw Straight Outta Compton and thought there wasn’t enough Tupac, I think you might just really like Tupac. Same. I also really like Sano. Miguel has 3 homers and a steal in the past week! He is everything I wanted him to be and more. Well, maybe not more. I miss Tupac, you guyz.
Gerardo Parra – 1-for-4, 3-run HR (14). The Parra Professional’s 5th homer since joining the O’s August 1st. He’s also got 17 runs, 10 RBI and hitting .284 in that span. Ever since he convinced Chris Davis and Adam Jones to join his book club they’ve all been rolling. Gerardo is a much faster reader which puts the pressure on Chris and Adam to catch up. The Girl on the Train is still on the train? When is she going to get off? Keep reading.
Byron Buxton – 2-for-5. What do you mean he’s not owned in your league!? You should really pick him up. Grey told you to BUY, now I’m telling you. Do you need pop starlet Selena Gomez to tell you to? “Cuz baby he’s good for ya, good for ya, uh-huh, uh-huh!” Thanks Selena! Trust us, this kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!
Kevin Jepsen – 1.0 IP, 0 ER, 3 K, SV (6). He is a closer. Grey said BUY. He is not yet owned everywhere. He should be owned everywhere.
A.J. Pollock – 4-for-5, 3 runs, HR (13), 2 SB (32).. In the past two weeks, he’s scored 17 runs–whoa! 17 runs! Sweet sassy molassy! Where was I. How do I even finish after stats like that. 2 homers, 7 RBI, 8 SB, and hitting .439. Is there anyone hotter than Pollock right now? I’m not really a modernist, but Pollock isn’t really a painter. What a world!
Joey Votto – 2-for-3, HR (23). As always, I like to bring in Canada’s top baseball analysts to discuss Votto’s resurgence. “Say, Terrence, what do you think has been the main factor in Votto’s big comeback season?” “I don’t know Phillip. Do you think it could be his…farts?” What insight, Phillip!” *FART* Hahahaha! Never gets old.
Justin Verlander – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 8 K. He’s allowed just one earned run in his past three starts, with a 22/6 K/BB rate. So if I’m understanding this correctly, Verlander is good as long as the Tigers have nothing to play for. Got it.
Marlon Byrd – 3-for-5, 2-run HR (20). As is the way of Marlon Byrd, he hit a homer in his first at bat as a Giant. I see no reason why this trend won’t continue.
Madison Bumgarner – 6.1 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, BB, 6 K and his 15th win. He also hit his 5th home run. To put that in perspective, that’s more homers than Jonathan Lucroy or Xander Bogaerts, folks. Jacoby Ellsbury has six homers. Bumgarner is a special player. I wish he’d stop rubbing it in our faces.
Bryce Harper – 1-for-3, HR (31). I can’t feel my face when I’m with yooooou, Bryce. But I loooove it! It’s the home runs. It might also be the mixture of Xanax and liquor, but I’m pretty sure it’s mostly the home runs.
Domingo Santana – 1-for-5, HR (1). One of the returns from the Carlos Gomez deal, Sunday Santana debuted Friday night with a 2-run dinger. You know how the Brew Crew loves their all or nothing power hitters, and he could definitely see an extended look in center field. He had 18 homers and 77 RBI in AAA this year and I’d give him a flier in deeper leagues.
Kyle Lohse – 3.0 IP, hit, ER, 2 BB, 4 K, SV (1). And his first career save! How exciting! Zzzzzzzzzzzz. No really, I mean that! It’s just the ambien I swear! It helps me deal with my life. By sleeping through it.
Ben Revere – 4-for-5, 2 runs, RBI. OK, this is a start, but now steal bases. It’s your job to steal bases! Do your job!
David Price – 8.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, BB, 9 K and his 12th win. The Price is so right right now. Doesn’t DP look weird in the Jays uni? He’s got a 1.78 ERA and 33/6 K/BB since joining Team Canada. With stats like that, Price was worth every penny. Give it to him, he’s worth it! Uh huh, he’s worth it! Do you like how I’m mixing in all this pop-ular music today? It’s for the young people! They are my biggest Cheerleaders. Now Shut Up and Dance with Me! See what I did there? *tugs on collar* I will see myself out.
Tyler Saladino – 3-for-5, run, RBI. Tyler is about as interesting as a garden salad from Friendly’s, but he’s batting at the top of a decent line up and deeper leagues should take note. What do you mean you’re not taking notes!?
Carlos Sanchez – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBI. Sanchez makes Saladino look like beef tartare. Still he’s playing every day and he’s got a four game hitting streak. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
Chris Sale – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, BB, 14 K, and his 12th win. All he does is strike out batters!
Ketel Marte – 2-for-4. This guys sounds like a discount supermarket. But one of the ones that I wouldn’t want to shop at. You know the ones, you see pictures of trashy people shopping at them on the internets. Still, he’s got a seven game hitting streak and if you need batting average Ketel Marte could help. If you need to get wasted. Ketel One is probably a better bet.
Andrew Cashner – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 8 K and his 5th win. Aren’t I glad I held onto you all season. Don’t answer that. You are not supposed to answer that.
Travis d’Arnaud – 1-for-5, HR (7). Grey told you to BUY because your catcher is pathetic. He’s got three homers in his past 10 games and it looks like he’s starting to get back in the swing of things since returning from the D’L.
Yoenis Cespedes – 5-for-6, 3 HR (5), 7 RBI. It’s a Cespedes for the rest of us! It’s a celebration! Gather around the Pole and let Yoenis demonstrate his great feats of strength! He had a grand slam in the second inning and the Rox just gave up on getting him out after that. He’s batting .316 with 5 HR and 16 RBI with the Mets. *Pro Tip!* That will help your fantasy team!
Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-4, 3 runs, HR (29). You so crazy, Cargo. After hitting just four homers in April and May. He’s hit 25 since the calendar hit June. “Kiss one another! Die for each other! It’s Coors in the Summer!” That’s my Demi Lovato impression. It’s not very good, but that’s mostly because I have no idea who she is. Can’t stop singing that song tho! It’s Cooooors in the summeeeer!
Nolan Arenado – 3-for-5, HR (30), 4 RBI. Tied for the league lead in RBI with 91. My real life human friend(s) laughed at me when I drafted Nolan in the fourth round. They laughed! Mwahaha! I just chuckled and smirked, and laughed back at them, “Bwahaha!” and then I said. “LOLz, don’t you guyz even Razzball?”
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
