Regulators Mount Up!  Or if you’re recovering from last two nights like I am, grab a Gatorade, a couple Tylenol, finish watching the second season of Bloodline and post all the spoilers so Grey flips out.  If you’re not hurting like me, then hopefully most of you are enjoying a day off and if you’re not, I’ll be sure to poor a little out for my DK homies that are out there grinding.  First and foremost, I’d like to thank all of our current and former Military for their service.  Without your selfless sacrifices we wouldn’t be able to enjoy trivial things like copious amounts of alcohol, BBQ’s and fantasy baseball, so again a HUGE THANK YOU!  Now onto the trivial stuff.  There’s some nice early action this morning with Jeff Samardzija, aka Puke Soup and Jose Quintana, but since you partied like a rock star and woke up late, let’s concentrate on the games that are still open.  Nate Dogg aka Nathan Karns is priced at a very reasonable $9,500 today, with a home start against San Diego.  Currently Karns is averaging 17 points a start, granted he had a semi-clunker, 5 Ing, 3 K’s and 3 ER  last time out against Oak, but he’s averaging a strikeout and inning.  Not too shabby for an under the radar guy.  Hopefully he gets a call from Velasquez and Cueto after the game so they can compare notes and laugh about the double digit K’s they all racked up against an underwhelming Padres lineup.  Tanner Roark, $9,600 can be rostered with Karns and still leave you with plenty of dough for offense.  I don’t know what Dusty’s been feeding Roark, but whatever he’s doing the shizz is working cause dude is is striking people out.  His K rates were mediocre/not too good previous to this year, but in 2016 he’s averaging over 8 K’s a game and he’s lowered his K/BB over a full point from 2014.  I thought his 15 K’s vs Min was a fluke, but surprisingly he’s still knocking them down.

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Steven Wright, SP: $8,300 –  Seriously I can’t say Steven/Stephen without thinking of the Phteven meme.  Phteven’s real name is Tuna and he’s the perfect example of how amazing rescue dogs are.  His former owner abandoned him and now he’s Phriggin Phamous!  Now back to our Steven with a V, cause dude has been dealing this year.  Not Cy Young Dickey dealing, but a solid 2.52 ERA, 54 K’s in 60 Ing’s dealing.  If the knuck kncuck is on today he could easily rack up 7-9 K’s and help you in tourney play.

Justin Verlander, SP: $10,900 – I know, I know, JV?  I’ve been on the JV bullpen or retirement train for a while, but he just won’t quit.  I hate that his pants are so ridiculously tight, but he’s got 2 consecutive 10 K games.  The Angels have the least amount of K’s vs RHP, but something tells me that JV is gonna bring it while he’s in La La Land.  Big lights, big city and I’m sure his finance’s big……um……smile will be there to cheer him on.

Brian McCann, C: $3,200 – Discount because he’s been pretty cold as of late, but I like the matchup and I rarely get to roster him.

Welington Castillo, C: $3,100 – Another C who’s been quiet.  He got a to sit yesterday, so I’m expecting him to back to 100% and smashing against Collin McHugh.

Edwin Encarnacion, 1B: $4,600 – E5 standing by.  He’s racked up at least 1 RBI in each of his last 5 games.   I like the home match up vs Ivan Nova and he’s rocking a 11/32 BVP.

Logan Morrison, 1B: $3,600 – Speaking of BVP, Wolverine has cut up Kennedy in their previous meetings, 5/14 with 2 HR’s.  He’s racked up 18 hits over his last 12 games raising his average .100 points.

Starlin Castro, 2B: $2,700 – DK is notorious for high 2B prices, today must be a little holiday discount.

Brandon Phillips, 2B: $3,900 – That Dude BP.  I know this might be a little late to mention there’s a game at Coors, but I think you already knew the Rockies were playing at home.

Jake Lamb, 3B: $4,000 – DK finally caught up with our discount darling, but it wouldn’t feel right to have a Monday post without one of our Monday Night All-Stars.

Chris Johnson, 3B: $2,700 – If you gorged out on every other position and need some salary relief then CJ is Alka-Seltzer you’re looking for.

Zack Cozart, SS: $3,700 – Turn down for what?  I don’t even know what that means, but the effin song has been stuck in my head all day and how can you turn down a leadoff SS in Coors for less than 4K?

Brad Miller, SS: $3,600 – B-Rad!  I just partied with my East Coast boy B-Rad on Saturday night and we were up till 2 AM celebrating his brother’s 40th Birthday.  I played cornhole for the first time and that shizz is deceivingly hard. Happy Birthday Brett!

Mike Trout, OF: $4,500 – He’s priced like he’s facing Sale or Kershaw.  Take the money and run.

Brandon Drury, 3B/OF: $2,600 – DK must’ve had too much drank when they set this price, see above.

Adam Duvall, OF: $4,700 – Him and Jay Bruce are both sitting at the same price so pick one and hopefully they throw up a bomb or two in Coors.

Bryce Harper, OF: $4,600 – Bryce is back bitches!  Not sure if it was because he shaved the beard or the 4 leaf clover on the bat, but either way I’ll take him everyday at this price.

Carlos Beltran, OF: $3,900 – He got pulled yesterday after he hit a bomb, so just make sure he’s in the lineup.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Be careful if you’re in on the early games as the Northeast is looking suspect.  CWS vs NYM is siting at 90% and BOS vs BAL has a 70% chance of rain.  It also looks like the later game with WAS vs PHI might get delayed or cancelled with a 95% chance of rain.

Doing Lines in Vegas

Puke Soup is the top dog today at -160 at ATL followed by our boy Nate Dogg, -170 vs SD.