There was a time the Wayans brothers were funny and I mean that funny ‘haha’ way. Not the how sad and disconnected can you be way. I grew up watching Living Color and loved how it was counter culture at the time. My friends were watching Family Matters, I was watching Homey D. Clown telling everyone about the man and how he was bringing him down. I bring all this fluff to you because in his heyday, Damon Wayans Sr – which I have to put because his son is more famous now – was quite the draw. So much so, we got subjected to multiple movies featuring him. One such bad 90’s nostalgia flashback was Mo’ Money. This was a scene in that movie. I’m sorry you watched it but now you know how I feel. But for fun, let’s pretend the movie had a real plot and play on the concept of people trying to get money for nothing over and over and that’s where Erasmo Ramirez comes in. At $6,600, there’ll be plenty of fake dollars left over for your main arm and some hefty bats. I’d most likely avoid in cash simply because I’m not sure how stretched out he is and how long he gets to go, but I’m of the mindset he’ll go five minimum with a good chance for six. I’m not expecting big numbers but if he can log me 20, I’ll go home happy at this price. Hell, I’m already home so I’ll just stay here happy. Happy that I’m never watching Mo’ Money again…and with that, let’s move along. Here’s my Fire Marshall Bill hot taeks for this Saturday DK slate…
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Jake Arrieta, SP: $10,300 – You can pay up for Max Scherzer if you want, but dollar for dollar I want Jake in cash today. Jake is at home and yesterday’s game against the Cubs was full of errors and outright flukiness. Arenado had a bunt single?!? Big Jake rights the Cubs’ ship after the loss and this game might be an offensive deluge behind him. One of my lineups will just be called ‘Go Cubs Go’, I can promise you that.
Shelby Miller, SP: $8,100 – It’s gets kinda gross on this slate quickly. Unless you’re a Shelby fan and if so by that I mean…well, I’m glad you have your own opinion. The Padres are still bad offensively and Miller should be able to contain them. I mean, Jerad Eickhoff did, how hard could it be?
Brandon Finnegan, SP: $,7,700 – Perfectly priced to be a GPP play. Yesterday’s explosion shouldn’t scare you off, Finnegan has swing and miss stuff and for whatever reason, the Cardinals have shown the same weakness against lefties this year as they did last year, albeit with limited sample size. Unless you consider Niese’s nose an ample sample size, then his 7 Ks in 5 innings against them should be good enough for you to go on.
Tom Koehler, SP: $6,400 – Probably an attractive SP2 in cash games for those rostering Scherzer, Koehler offers limited upside but has a good shot at the win and a good shot to go 6 or 7 IP. He may also have a good shot at putting you to sleep. I mean, his last name is basically a toilet brand, what did you expect?
Chris Young, SP: $5,900 – If you’re GPP scrounging, Chris has a strong shot at seeing 18 points which is all you should expect from this price and he gives you tons of breathing room in your wallet. You know, just in case you have, like, a want or need to try and breathe in that thing. It’s your world, you do you.
Brett Nicholas, C: $2,000 – Texas may or may not go with Bryan Holaday and if he’s in, I’m fine with him too. I mean, it’s a C. You tell me what’s good for you that’s a C. Vitamin C? Welp, ya got me. As per the usual, I look to punt here unless I have the bones to pay up here, especially in cash and you should too.
Chris Davis, 1B: $4,900 – I’m marking 2015 down as a fluke for Colby Lewis. Over 54.2 innings at home last year, lefty bats managed a meager .324 wOBA. A quick scroll back through his three years prior and what he’s given up so far this year says so. At 36, father time comes for us all and Crush hasn’t homered in like two days so he’s totally due. BTW, I typed that while smacking gum and twirling my hair for the full Valley Girl affect. You’re welcome.
Edwin Encarnacion, 1B: $3,700 – Ummm, hey DK, you miiiiiight wanna check that ‘ace on the mound’ algorithm again. This isn’t me chasing the double parrot trot from last night, I just can’t fathom EE going for less than Mark Canha and not dumping him into nearly every LU. And while we’re on the subject…David Price is good but he’s also a lefty. Josh Donaldson? Righty. Jose Bautista? Righty. The Blue Jays are built to punish southpaws. I’m all about the stack against the ace when studs aren’t priced right.
Jedd Gyorko, 2B/SS: $3,300 – So you don’t like my Finnegan call and yet you look at that Cardinals lineup and say ‘but who should I start to prove Sky wrong?’. Well, I’ve done your homework. Jedd has done most of his work against lefties for his career and most likely gets the nod and a reasonable batting spot for those reasons today. The price is simply too good to pass up on in cash, Eye Em Aiche Oh…sorry, it feels awkward to talk in text language on a blog.
Tim Beckham, 2B/SS: $3,000 – As much as I’d love to stack against Danks, I’m not sure the Rays’ bats have it in them to get the job done. I am simply here for cap relief and to chew bubblegum…and I’m all out of bubblegum.
Kris Bryant, 3B: $5,400 – A day having two of the team’s four errors, I think Bryant comes out in a big way today. Well, as you know I believe mightily in the Cubs’ bats today in general so if you can’t afford Kris, sprinkle at least one Cubby today into your LUs. You won’t be sorry. Unless that Cubby is Tommy La Stella, of course.
Nolan Arenado, 3B: $3,700 – Ahem, AGAIN DK…check that algo! Yeah, I’m starting Arrieta almost everywhere today. Doesn’t mean I expect a CGSHO. Seriously, you could have Nolan and Edwin on your team for $7,400. What a country!
Manny Machado, 3B/SS: $4,800 – So I can think of only a few non-modified standard league-types where Manny is available at SS so it begs the question, ‘why is he on DK’? The answer: hush your mouth, chile, just enjoy this! Manny’s numbers off righties was better last year than they were against lefties so don’t worry about the splits unless you’re practicing at home and doing them. If you’re reading this site, I can almost bet you’re not limber enough to do that. Reaching for your beer doesn’t count as stretching!
Luis Sardinas, 2B/SS: $2,200 – This is a check the lineup kind of call but if you’re looking for some cap relief, the Mariners seem to like Luis when starting against a lefty. I’m not sure if they LIKE him, like him, if you know what I’m saying, but that’s because Suzy didn’t let me see the note passed around in English today. Speaking of lefties, said lefty is CC Sabathia so if you are eyeing Nelson Cruz and Franklin Gutierrez as well, you’re doing the right thing.
Yoenis Cespedes, OF: $4,700 – This isn’t me chasing a near cycle by Uranus Centipede…sorry, Grey was dictating to Siri Yoenis’ name there for a second. What I was trying to say was if you take Tomlin’s 2014 and mash it with his 2015, you get exactly what kind of pitcher he is. He gives up a ton of flyballs and walks almost nobody which is to say, he’s constantly challenging hitters. With that said, he’s found a way to maintain a seemingly unsustainable 15.3% HR/FB rate over his last two years with this approach and most of those HRs have gone to righties. So what happens when an extreme flyball righty hitter with 30 HR power comes to town against Tomlin? I’ll let Shia Labeouf handle this one for ya.
Billy Burns, OF: $4,300 – Despite only starting 18 games last year, Chris Young managed to give up 13 SB. The word on Chris has been out on him for a long time: if you reach first against him, you’ll be at second shortly if you have two functioning legs. This is a bit more than I’d like to pay chasing steals but Burns has 3 SB upside. Check to see if he’s batting leadoff for the A’s. Heck, he could reach on an error and still score you 10 points. With that, if Coco Crisp gets the nod to lead off at $3,100, even better.
Nomar Mazara, OF: $3,300 – Fun story that’s not really a fun story but I am calling it that anyway. In my long-standing keeper league where we have one minor league roster spot, AJ Reed was my prime target but if Reed wasn’t there, Mazara was my man. However, I think the third beer did me in as I somehow ended up drafting Villar and backing him up with Orlando Arcia with Nomar still on the board. The guy who got him? None other than my good friend who said he liked Brinson over Mazara when we were pre-season chatting. Jerk! All this to say, Mazara’s success doesn’t surprise me and until his price rises, he’s a lock in cash games.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
There’s good weather seemingly everywhere today so don’t fear. One precaution I’d note is the chance for thunderstorms in the TEXvsBAL tilt. The game itself doesn’t look to be in danger at the moment, but there might be a delay which would take away the beautiful matchup against Colby. Do some investigating before lineups lock, Sherlock!
Doing Lines In Vegas
Well, maybe Mad Max IS the tourney play for today. Arrieta and his Cubbies are -330 favorites today in the CHCvsCOL game so cash game players will be all over this one like Tehol on Snapchat. At least I think that’s snapchat…whatever it is it’s horrifying. But more to the point, Arrieta is like a hidden cave with rupies from Legend of Zelda. If you want to be the most contrarian contrarian who ever contrarianed, a Rockies stack is you out on an island and may lead to you being able to buy said island when you’re done. Outside of that, surprisingly not many heavy favorites today as Scherzer slides in with the second highest line at -170. Not surprisingly, both games sit at 6.5 O/U. If you’re out there looking for runs, TEXvsBAL tops the charts at 9.5, followed by HOUvsDET and MINvsLAA at 8.5 apiece. An eyebrow raised 8 is spotted in the MIAvsATL game so be aware that Marlins bats could be in play against your best Bud Norris.