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Corbin Burnes (8 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA 2.93) held the Giants to one run as he struck out 14. The last guy to hold down the Giants like that was David in the Bible…*Starts sobbing* I’m sorry! I can’t go on! The Queen! She’s gone! What a way to ruin the end of The Crown! No one even gave a spoiler alert! Maybe rather than mourning the Queen’s death, we should be celebrating that Reggie Jackson finally succeeded. Hope someone was filming it, hate to miss out on a Naked Gun sequel. So, Corbin Burnes is once again the best pitcher in baseball or what? In 2023 fantasy, there’s gonna be a lot of pitchers drafted first, I imagine. Corbin Burnes might be one of them, but I bet he’s not the majority’s choice. Of course, I won’t be interested in a starter that early, but I also don’t see anyone else I trust as much as Corbin Burnes for the top 2023 fantasy baseball pitcher. Definitely not Gerrit Cole; maybe Dylan Cease; possibly Shane McClanhananananannanannananananan if he were healthy, but he’s not. Corbin Burnes has the 6th best K-BB%, 7th best xFIP, 5th best K/9 and is remarkably durable and youngish. For 2023 fantasy, it seems hard to twist myself in enough knots to look at anyone else as the best starter. Though, I’d love to Cease up Dylan. Oh, well, long live King Burnes. Anyway. here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, let me remind people about our fantasy football tools. Weekly and rest of the season projections all for the cost of a cup of coffee (if you had 11 shots of amaretto syrup). Anyway II, the roundup:

Esteury Ruiz – Optioned to the minors, where he has 70 steals. Speaking of steals (smooth segue!), next year there’s gonna be new rules implemented. One rule will be a limit on pickoff attempts, so prepare for the return of the steal. Esteury Ruiz about to steal 150 bags in 151 attempts, LET’S GO! Also, I welcome the pitch clock. I hope they have the home plate ump wear a Flavor Flav clock.

Freddy Peralta – Left after two innings with renewed shoulder discomfort. As EverywhereBlair pointed out to me (and us — hey, you!), FreddyKBB hasn’t been good for a while. EWB said, “If you’re in an inning-limited situation, you’ll probably want to move on from Peralta because his 7.3 K/9 rate since returning is fantasy irrelevant,” in his post back on August 29th. This is gonna sound crazy, but Peralta’s shoulder didn’t magically heal on its own. Wild, I know.

Wander Franco – Word is he could be activated today, after meeting with his team in New York. Hope they recognize him. That could be awkward!

Zack Wheeler – Played catch at 90 feet. Quentin Tarantino would’ve been drooling.

Kyle Gibson – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.57. Kinda cool of Kyle Gibson to not allow the historically terrible Marlins’ offense to stay historically terrible. Kudos, Mr. Gibson. They said it was impossible to make the Marlins’ hitting look good, but you pulled it off.

David Robertson – 1 IP, 1 ER, 7th blown save, ERA at 2.43. I’m not saying to lift the curse on the Phils’ pen that’s haunted them for ten years they have to sacrifice Brad Lidge, but have they considered it?

Sandy Alcantara – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.43. Oh, by the by, I didn’t forget him in the lede when mentioning guys who could be the number one starter next year. Sandy could win the NL Cy Young this year, and likely should, but he won’t be anywhere near the top starter in 2023.

Joey Wendle – 1-for-5, 2 runs and his 3rd homer, as he hits third. Just a rock-solid lineup rocking solid hitting that Ted Williams’s frozen head would be like, “I’m glad I’m frozen, because I’d be benched if I were on that 2022 Marlins squad.” Just incredible and I can see why they hit Kyle Gibson. Great, fantastic stuff. Yes, I’m still bitter!

Lewin Diaz – 1-for-2 and his 2nd homer, hitting .170. The 9th place hitter on the Marlins’ team that is hitting, like, .206 in the 2nd half! Not bad, Kyle Gibson! Not bad at all!

DJ LeMahieu – Hit the IL with “Let’s just get the postseason healthy and forget our terrible 2nd half play.” Should take 10 to 15 days to recover.

Nestor Cortes – 4 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 2.73, as he was activated. Sucks if you have him, but I prefer this innings limiting. Would actually prefer he just get shut down. My guess is you can drop him and not regret it.

Miguel Andujar – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. If I were the Yankees, I’d bat him third. Sorry, that’s if I were me as them. If I were actually the Yankees, and doing what they do, I’d prolly be sending Andujar down the minors to help pack up their Triple-A team, then charge him to watch the Yankees from the stands.

Sonny Gray – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.09, as he was activated from IL. Gray returned to the scene of the crime: Yankee Stadium. That crime: Having his dignity taken as a Yankee. If you started him, you have larger pants-grapes than me. Streamonator loves his next start, and I’d absolutely be back in.

Carlos Correa – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Correa has all the makings of a guy the Yanks give an outlandish $400 mill, 12-year deal to, and then a month in all their fans are like, “Wait, I thought he was a superstar. Gleyber is out-hitting him.”

JP Sears – 2 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.33. Sears is defunct, as in, “I streamed him, what defunct?!”

Yoan Moncada – 5-for-6, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .211. This game was in Oakland, and Moncada seems like the type to like playing in front of no one with nothing at stake. You can bank on that interest-free Yoan.

Elvis Andrus – 2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, and his third homer this week. He will absolutely be in this afternoon’s Buy column, because he’s the hottest schmotato this side of Graceland.

Romy Gonzalez – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and his 2nd homer in five games, hitting near-.350 in the month of September. He’s got some power, some speed and should be hitting.180, but here we are.

Eloy Jimenez – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. ILoy and the White Sox are sweltering hot, just in time for La Russa to return to the club, so they can remember how to do nothing right.

Dylan Cease – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.06. Much like the deGrom vs. Pirates game the other day, I’m surprised the A’s did anything vs. Cease. From top to bottom, from inside to the Dermis, the A’s suck.

Kyle Farmer – 2-for-4 and his 10th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. “Farmer, whatchu doing out there with your hoe?” “Getting some!” Then Farmer raises his newly-reaped hot schmotato. He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but by all means, grab him now.

Luis Cessa – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.97. He gets the Pirates next, and I wanna see how those seafarers do on a Cessa. Pirates be like, “Gee, what’s this?” And Cessa’s like, “Nah, G6!” Sorry, on a short schedule day you have to deal with a little more nonsense.

Adrian Sampson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 3.76. His value is mostly tied up in the Streamonator and his hair.

Seiya Suzuki – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 12th homer. Seiya later! Fo’ reals, is anyone drafting this guy next year? I don’t think I can back in unless he’s going very late, but he should be going later. Emoji with hand on chin saying, “Hmm.”

Josiah Gray – 3 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.06. At some point, he’s going to click in the majors and it will be a sight to behold. Hopefully we don’t have to wait as long as King Charles waited.

Alex Call – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his 2nd homer. His home run call is, “This Call is long distance!”

Keibert Ruiz – After getting hit by a foul ball, he was sent to the hospital with swollen testicles. Now he’s got two foul balls! Just reading about jockular sphincteritis makes me cross my legs. Not to sound like a tart, but please keep in your thoughts Ruiz’s bruised plums.

Yadier Molina – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer. This was during a record-tying start with Adam Wainwright (5 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.33). They’ve now started 324 games together as a battery. They’ve started so many games together, they don’t even need Pitchcom. They simply motion to their ears for the pitches. One cupping of their ear and a “Huh?” is a curve; two ears cupped and a “What?” is a fastball; two ears cupped and a “I can’t hear you” is a change.