Late season injuries and minor league call-ups are one thing.   Just not doing your job is an utter disgrace.  Bruce Rondon was sent home, literally, because of lack of effort.  Holy stereotypes.  Because getting out of bed, traveling first class and then having to pitch one whole inning a game in the oft-chance that your team may be winning.  Yeah, that sounds impossible to me to keep up with.  For now the Tigers will roll with a combination of Neftali Feliz and Alex Wilson.  So anyone looking for 3-4 saves til the end of the year can be rewarded with the plight of Rondon and his poor work effort.  I wouldn’t expect a treasure trove of riches, the Tigers rank in the bottom five in saves, save opps., bullpen ERA, blown saves, and believe it or not, balks by the bullpen.   I know that last stat is bupkiss, but when is the last time you ever read a balk stat in a reliever post?  It just happened for the first time in history and I am officially placing a copyright on it. So this is the final rankings for the year for closers I will do an end of the year wrap up next week with lots of zany stuff.

  • Greg Holland has been removed as the team’s closer and the guys who everyone should own takes over.  This is a forever thing, where forever takes two weeks.
  • The situation in Baltimore is a one to keep an eye on as Britton seems to be being babied down the stretch with a lat injury.  Darren O’Day is the droid that you are looking for.
  • Joe Smith looks like he can be garbage dumped in any hold and save league, as he’s cooked for the year with an ankle injury.  Look to use his spot on either Trevor Gott or stream option.
  • Non-Closer sleeper of the week: Jeff Manship, last 30 days, 12 appearances 14K’s  and only 6 hits allowed.

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Kenley Jansen — (Jim Johnson, Chris Hatcher)

2. Mark Melancon — (Joakim SoriaTony Watson)

3. Craig Kimbrel – (Joaquin Benoit, Kevin Quackenbush, Nick Vincent)

4. Andrew Miller– (Dellin BetancesJustin Wilson)

5. Trevor Rosenthal – (Kevin Siegrist, Steve Cishek)

6. Aroldis Chapman – (J.J. Hoover, Jumbo Diaz)

7. Jeurys Familia – (Tyler ClippardAddison Reed)

 

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

8. Huston Street – (Trevor Gott, Fernando Salas)

9. David Robertson – (Nate Jones, Zach Duke)

10. Jonathan Papelbon – (Matt ThorntonCasey Janssen)

11. Ken Giles– (Luis Garcia, Justin de Fratus)

12. Shawn Tolleson – (Keone Kela, Sam Dyson)

13. Hector Rondon  (Pedro Strop, Fernando Rodney)

14. Francisco Rodriguez, (Will Smith, Jeremy Jeffress)

15. A.J. Ramos – (Mike Dunn, Bryan Morris)

16. Cody Allen – (Bryan Shaw, Zach McAllister, Jeff Manship)

17. Roberto Osuna – (Brett CecilLaTroy Hawkins)

18. Zach Britton – (Darren O’Day, Brad Brach)

19. Brad Boxberger – (Alex ColomeXavier Cedeno)

20. Santiago Casilla – (Sergio Romo, Hunter Strickland)

21.  Wade Davis – (Greg HollandKelvin Herrera)

 

Employed

These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.

22. Brad Ziegler –  (Daniel Hudson, Andrew Chafin)

23. Luke Gregerson – (Pat Neshek, Will Haris)

24. Kevin Jepsen  (Glen Perkins, Trevor May)

25. John Axford– (Jairo Diaz, Scott Oberg)

26. Tom Wilhelmsen – (Carson Smith, Logan Kensing)

 

Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

27. Sean Doolittle – (Drew Pomeranz, Ryan Dull)

28. Arodys Vizcaino – (Pete Moylan, Edwin Jackson)

29. Robbie Ross –  (Jean Machi, Noe Ramirez)

30. Alex Wilson / Neftali Feliz

  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Your title would also be the worst dating profile name

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Grey: Oh wait this ain’t Tinder?

  2. PeteRosesRevnege says:
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    Speak of Jobless what do you Grey and the rest of the Razzies do all winter? I’m thinking there is going to be some serious withdrawl.!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I recap this year then start preseason posts

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @PeteRosesRevnege: we reire to palm springs and play a lot of shuffleboard. Or write about soccer or football

  3. Steve Stevenson says:
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    Soria’s on the Pirates, hermano.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Steve Stevenson: I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue

  4. pbmax says:
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    I, like Rondon, was sent home from my Freshman Volleyball B-team for lack of effort in the last week of the season. I was pretty happy about the whole ordeal. I would assume he is too.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @pbmax: freshman volleyball nice

  5. DisEnfranchised says:
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    I have 4 days left in my h2h pts league championship and only 1 move left. The FAs for SP are not appealing anymore because they all fall well into the – $ range when looking at SON. The RP FAs are deep and I am considering grabbing Chapman or a different closer for the possibility of some low risk + points vs the risk of 1 iffy spot start. Is this a good idea? Should I grab Chapman or are there some closers out there that you believe will have more /better opportunities over these last 4 games. Thanks.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @DisEnfranchised: yes totally good idea, cincy is bad right now and are playing out the string. What other closers on semi decent teams are avail cause that’s where I would look

  6. Matt says:
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    Man Wade Davis has also tanked this month, you like Herrera over Madson as next?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Matt: Herrera

  7. Mark says:
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    Im about to get Jake McGee and Capps back in my dynasty league where we keep everyone (15 teams, 30 mlb guys per team year to year). I own Wade Davis, is Greg Holland worth holding on to for 2016? thanks

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Mark: yes absolutely, future is a little murky but still the goods when fully fit and it doesnt hurt you too much to hold onto him

    • Mike Hunt's Honorable Discharge says:
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      @Mark: try 2017 now.

  8. Slimbo says:
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    What’s up smokey

    Shallow league with saves and holds
    do you think I should roster Herrera or Madson? Or stream stream stream?

    Thanks pal

Comments are closed.