The save buffet line in Minnesota is becoming a tiresome “wait-and-see who gets the chance today”. We all sit there and wait to own all the bullpen condiments that they offer, whether it be Brandon Kintzler, Fernando Abad, Trevor May, Kevin Jepsen, or Michael Tonkin. Including Glen Perkins, those are the names that have been gifted a precious save chance for the occupants of the Twin Cities. A save opportunity total that is second to last in the league (18), in front of a surprise first place team in the Cubs. The Cubs are only there because they are beating everyone up and don’t have the late-inning chances that other losing teams do. So back to the Twinkies… they have the least amount of saves, holds, and have the least amount of appearances by relievers with the lead. All those things are so bad for roster space that you are speculating it to get you a save. They are on pace to average less than 3/4 of one whole save a week. But if people want to keep roster shuffling, looking for the odd save here or there, who am I to judge? I mean, some people say cucumbers taste better pickled. The fortunate thing for you is that I am here to guide that steady hand and give you astute advice for a nominal (not nominal, it’s free) fee. So here the rankings of closers for week 11, now with more added snippets of goodness!
- I mentioned Fernando Rodney a month ago, and that he hasn’t allowed an earned run up since Sept of last year, well… it’s still intact almost 40 innings strong.
- Good riddance to bad boxes, Alex Colome has the most saves over the past two weeks with 7.
- The Papelbon injury makes the Nats depth in the pen look meh. Shawn Kelley is the guy after getting the official pat on the back from Dusty. The Nats need to add more depth for a team in first, but that’s just me not getting a pat anywhere from Dusty.
- Darren O’Day is still no where to be found in his return from a hamstring injury. Givens and Brach still hold the fort in front of arguably the best closer in baseball.
- Tony Cingrani seems to be the guy for the Reds. Which is like being the last guy in line at the DMV.
- Martin Sheen’s other, other son has the reigns in the rock pile until McGee gets back… or maybe longer.
Closer d’Etat (Top set-up guys next up for saves)
A new feature that I have been looking to add is the top set-up guys who are either pitching well or are right behind the closer. Getting the off day save for a shaky closer or someone who can jump in for a downed king of saves. Never hurts to bag an extra reliever for your bench at best they either don’t play, you bench them or the do well. No one ever does bad for someone we all roster…
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.